once you dreamt of a place

a peaceful and quiet land, halcyon eternal

but that mirror shattered onto your skin, pushing back into you

the shards crawled beneath, breaths sharp and labored, and slowly your lungs filling up with red

you crawled to the rose-scented dream, desperate to escape the walls closing in on you

something clung onto your waist, steadily pushing its rusted thorns into your body, and you, a goddamned fool, dragged it along with you.

something about it made bile form in your throat, yet you couldn't bear to cut it off, and you realized that it was a hand, someone desperately clinging for life to you.

Click, clicking the counter in your ears went.

and the reason it hurt so much was because of the pain irradiating from their chest, a brilliantly glowing flame, invisible and furious where it was trapped, from its seat it crawled beneath the skin, scorching all it could reach out to.

a muffled cry came from their dilapidated mouth, where teeth had rotted into unusual shapes, jaw slackened where joints had loosened into unrecognizable forms. wounds no longer bleeding smelled foul and laid open, yet not oozing with internal juices.

“help me,” they cried out

“everything burns, please help me.”

and yet, repulsed by such a decrepit corpse, you swatted them away, feeling your craving for the perfect palace intensify

no more walls to hold you in this time, only how far you would go for the dream.

“well? how far would you go?” the lovely woman asked while she sat upon your chest, suffocating your breaths, and she slowly leaned into your ear

“the promise is your choice to make, as you already know my answer.”

her hand rested on your chest, and you felt as she examined every rib personally

“allow me to give you this gift, a wonderful memory to open the door to your promised land.”

her hand was familiar, as she went past your waist, slowly and gently, almost clinging on, you recalled her instantly.

but you did not allow your knowledge to stop your progress to peace.

so she gave you the key, happily and pleasantly, and you gladly took it, thankful for her kindness, and apologized for seeing her wrong the first time around.

“i will give you these keys anytime you wish, so long as you allow me to reveal eternity to you again.”

“and do not worry, many travelers see me the way i was when i passed.”

you had recovered the strength to walk now, so you stood and slowly hobbled forward towards your dream

the castle wavered now, like a mirage created from heat

"how far would you go?" her redolent voice echoed in your mind

something began to break as you were walking, a harsh winter breeze, and you collapsed to your knees

but you continued to crawl forward

the harrowing feeling edged into your mind softly, weaving its way into your thoughts, making doubts

wasn't a gentle experience in the slightest, and it emptied you of memories before the world shattered like glass

something about a rotten lord, she had told you while crying into your shoulder

his hands made of a fly's hair and a face crafted from foul, dripping sinew, a disfigured monster

sour and disgusting one would retch at the very sight, the prince of all things that crawl beneath the skin

you had promised to save her from this fate, memory becoming clearer, she was to be your damsel, your princess, and you had promised you this to her

but a fairy tale your story was not, for only you had survived, unable to recall a damn thing.

“how far would you go?” the echo of her voice now clear as ever, how far would you have gone to save her?

Not far enough clearly, for now you and I were face to face, yes, I, the decayed man with maggots nesting in my hair.

"There was never a perfect palace all along, then."

I couldn't help but nod at you, to at least ease your suffering.

"I've nothing to offer you," I reminded you.

And yet you beckoned me closer, saying "got something to whisper in your ear."

The last thing told me before you died was that I smelled of roses. And for a moment, I could see the halcyon horizon ahead of me.

(October 2021)