dwelling forever in the hearts’ deepest desires

recall now what you said to me all those years ago

do you want?

Do you yearn?

Did you ever care?

Recall it again and again and again

You could scarcely remember

Something burning on the back of your throat

who do i go to where am i oh god oh god what do i do

who am i

Thoughts surge endlessly on the fingertips of your skull, pushing and brimming and overwhelming and you forget how to breathe

I can't I can't I can't take it anymore

Push on further and twist like a sphere turned inside out

Recall it

Again and again and again

No monsters here there are no monsters here only a prisoner of your own making tormented by your own mind

Discuss and rattle on with the old one

Splitter splatter and shatter my bones

Stick her in the tub and let her thaw out for a moment

Thieves thick as thorns thought of a clever way to steal a darling rose

Keep her up

keep it up

keep it

keep

kept

Me

no one kept me

All imagined all imagined

all alone you wanted all alone you just wanted to see her face again

I pity you, but should I?

That's the way it is

oh

that's life

The blood dripped quick and fast

How did we get here?

Quicker faster pouring out of the wounds

You wanted to feel the right way

oh please

let me feel the proper way

But you grinned and laughed

(May 2021)