This place sucks. I've only been here a little over a day and already can't wait to leave. It's so damm hot and the townsfolk are as dull as can get! If I get small talked about the weather and how great living here is one more time, I swear I'm gonna slit my own throat.

And I'm sick and tired of sitting around in this empty little room with a lady giving me the silent treatment all the time! At least she's hot.

"So, Maggy, right? Any idea when he'll be back?"

Aaaand she's giving me the stink eye. What's her deal?

"He already explained he's scouting the area."

"That doesn't answer my question, sweetheart," I clarify.

Now she's rolling her eyes, seriously? Just answer the damm question, woman!

"I don't know when he'll be back. Just sit tight and preferably stop ogling me all the time!"

Ah, was I that obvious?

"Sorry sister, a man's gotta appreciate the sights."

She sneers in disgust and grabs a book from her bag.

Fine, be like that. Was a boring conversation anyway.

“You are quite right. In fact, I will soon be getting my merchant’s permit from the minister of commerce. After that, my exclusive wares will hopefully be available all over the empire.”

What a boastful prick. He has no idea what awaits him in the real world. He'll get robbed as soon as he sets up shop. Then again that's happening right now isn't it?

The scout confirmed there's no bank in this dinky little town, so the owner must be keeping his cash in the back. Sneaking by the shopkeep is a piece of cake with Garen grabbing his full attention.

...

Well I'll be dammed, the bastard's a gods gifted genius! I can't believe he owns a safe! We'll have to come back here later if we want all of his loot.

Ugh, did he seriously notice me? Man, now he's pulled the fucking curtains too. Great, we'll have to think of something else. Garen won't be happy when he hears this, but who cares. He's an asshole anyway.

"Actually now that you're here... I made a huge blunder after our last transaction" Oh wow, judging from how he acted yesterday I almost thought he forgot about that.

"Shortly after you left the store, the platinum coin you handed to me seemingly vanished."

Heh, vanished right into my pocket. I give Garen the okay sign and walk into the back. If all goes to plan I should have all night to loot this place. Holy fuck that's a veritable shit ton of Gold. Is this guy for real? How can one Gemeen be trusted with all that money?

"I'd be happy to pay for your help. You needn't give out your service for free. I just need to get some money from my study in the back."

Oh shit. There's no way he won't notice everything in disarray.

"That won't be necessary. You have my absolute trust. Catching a thief is to the general public's benefit. Accepting private payment for such an act would be immoral."

Yeah man, pour those honey-laced words all over him!

"That is most gracious..."

Alright, crisis averted.

What a scam. 50k Gold and all I'm getting is a single thousand and a cloak. I mean, it's a nice cloak, but not as nice as another couple thousand would be. I did most of the work dammit! Spent all night clearing out that fucking shop, and now I get ordered to scout out the warehouse too! I seriously ought to renegotiate this shit.

The front door just opened. Shouldn't he still be knocked out?

"Shit."

Those are Sahíl soldiers. The minister's personal task force!?

"Alright everybody, get to work! Seize any and all valuables!"

What the fuck does that rich bastard want with this place? I'm seriously starting to think I deserve a far larger share of the rewards. Garen and that bitchy girlfriend of his barely even lifted a finger this whole time, and here I am risking my hide against the minister of commerce himself.

That could have gone better, but it wasn't really my fault. Okay, I might have underestimated Garen a bit, but it's not like I had much of a choice.

*cough* I think I punctured a lung, maybe worse considering he practically shattered my ribcage. At least he doesn't seem to notice how close to death I am right now. I should be fine after resting up here for a while.

Ah shit, someone found me. You didn't see anything pal, it's all good. Maybe he's gonna help me? I wonder how a Gemeen would react to such a bloody scene. Heh, I can already imagine his freaked out face.

Wait a second, isn't that...

"It's you!"

"You ruined my fucking life you snake!"

Woah buddy calm down. Pretty sure you ruined your own life by being a total retard.

"You deserve nothing but death!"

Hmm, he's holding that brick awfully menacingly...

Okay... Where the fuck am I? Everything's so dark here. Wait, I can't feel my body. I can't feel anything. Do I even have a body!? Wouldn't I normally have respawned by now?

FUCK ME WHAT IS HAPPENING!?

Don't panic Xander, there must be some perfectly logical explanation. Maybe I'm still conscious on the way to the respawn point? I did feel some kind of tugging after all...

I haven't heard of that happening before, but it's the best I got...

Wait, I see something!

Re-establishing connection to fresh body... Error: Connection not synchronized with body.

Creating artificial connection... Error: Different user already connected to user body.

Assessing situation... Profile merger possible... Commencing merger... Merger successful!

Welcome, [email protected]#!%on J*§&#te.

What was that? Am I going totally crazy now?

Hey, I know that voice. How can I talk back? I guess I haven't tried talking like normal yet.

That's what I want to know! What the fuck did you do to me!?

That was so strange. I don't have a mouth, and yet I'm able to talk. Seems like it's intent based somehow.

Who was that? Am I hearing voices in my head?

Seems like you are, and no, I am not just a figment of your imagination. Now tell me what you did!

What's going on? Who are you?

Is he telling me this wasn't caused by him!?

Good Gát'machá... You don't even know what you did yourself. How unlucky can I be? I'm the poor sap who you just murdered in case that wasn't clear.

Error: Soul not properly merged with host body... Re-engaging merger process.

Wait, wait, WAIT! Why's my anima getting stolen!? Get the fuck back here dammit!

Level down!

Level up!

Level down!

Level up!

What the shit man, just make up your damm mind! I can't even summon my soul screen to check what's happening.

Ḷ̴̨̦͇̰̤͚͔̀̿̾̐̈́͒̓̍̂͟Ȩ̵̨̡̛̦͓̞͓̻̰̔́̆͌̉͘͘͢v̢̹͚̲̗̻͈̮̠̼̈͆̀̎̍̀͊̚€̩̳̝̫̱̹̍̏̄̏̆̆̈͌̚L̨̛̬̘͚̘̱̼̥̦̰̉̀̉̒͘͝͞ D͇̳̯̣̰̰͙͇̾̓̍̎̀̈́̈̔̓͡ͅr̨̠̯̰̣͚̣̀̿̏̕͟͡è͕̥̪͇͎̙̭̼̈̍́͆̇́̋̅͘o̢̦̗̲̹̓̈́̉́̊̓͒͜͡͞ȏ̢͇̩̹͉͊̓̓͒͛̈́̓̕͞ư̲͕̮͔̤̯̘͓̒̀̓̈́͐́̕͟͟͝p̴̩̠̦̞̙̫̮̓̓̀̎̚͞ͅͅp̧̧̨̲̻̟̠̳͖̆̏͌͢͝͡!

Uhh, should I be worried?

[Mythical-Unique skill Acquired: Soul Parasite (U)]

Mythical skill!? Soul parasite definitely sounds ominous as all hells.

Merger process halted. Stat efficiency not fully carried over... Within acceptable parameters. Adaptation complete.

Meh, seems like it stopped him from draining all my anima. It also seems to have established some kind of link to him. What happens if I tug on it?

I CAN SEE! I CAN HEAR! YESSSSSSS!

I still can't feel anything and I can't control where he's looking. But hey, beggars can't be choosers.

Not fully carried over?

General Information Attributes Name Xandon Jefferite Physical Mental Special Species Human STR 7 INT 4,8

CHR 5 Sex Male AGI 17,9 PER 2,8 INS 4 Age 33 years CON 7 MEM 6 WLL 7,9

Height 5"7 ft (1,75m) Stats Weight 82 kilograms Health 52,8 +5,7/h Level 10 (max 28) Energy 46,8 +16,6/h Bonuses +1 Agility per 5 levels; +10% Agility; +10% Willpower Stamina 45 +8,1/min

Huh, so it's lower than before? But I definitely had my attributes sapped away just now...

Great, you stole more of my stats. At least it quit before sucking me completely dry.

Itoyas Ayal, explaining all this shit is sooo tedious. I can't believe Gemeen aren't taught any of this when they're younger! Maybe 'Goldie', gods that nickname is awful, is a special case. Perhaps he was homeschooled?

*Sigh*

I'm so screwed, aren't I? Here we have a forty year old man with the life experience of a toddler on a quest for revenge against someone not even I could manage to injure. There's no way this will work, I just hope he realizes eventually and still keeps up his end of the deal. If not...

Well, I better not think about that particular turn of events. Come on brain, do me a favor and focus on less morbid things, will ya?

Oh yeah, now that he's not pestering me with endless questions, I can finally check up on that skill I got.

Soul Parasite (U) Lvl 1: Bind your vessel to someone else's. You can tap into your host's senses and can partially control their body. As the user's vessel embeds itself more deeply in the host, further benefits may be unlocked. Effectiveness dependent on Lvl, Will and Corruption.

What the shit is Corruption. What the shit is this whole skill even? Considering it says 'bind your vessel' it must mean I'm now soul bound to Goldie. Great. So even if he ends up dying, I'm probably just going to get dragged right along with him into a new body, or worse.

So I guess helping him stay alive is legitimately my best play here. It's safer for me and will probably garner enough goodwill over time that he'd be willing to help me out.

Too bad though, it'd have been nice payback to get him killed. Then again I might not even need to lift a single metaphorical finger for that to happen on its own.

I mean, he must realize his plan is idiotic, no? At least he's taking it seriously, considered how determinedly he's packing all his... wait, what the hells is he packing!?

What the fuck are you doing? Why would you take a gods dammed clock? Why would you take half of this shit?

Because I need it?

Is this guy for real?

You don't need any of this crap! Take an extra set of clothes, a bit of food, some money and be done with it!

If I take food, I should take cutlery! And I need the notebook for complex calculations. The bedding... Well I guess I can sacrifice a bit of comfort. But the clock is the most important of all things! How am I supposed to keep a schedule if I can't keep time?

By Za'temb, he's got to be messing with me.

What do you need a fucking schedule for!? You are jobless. Just do whatever you want, whenever you want!

How will I get anything done like that? I need a schedule to plan out my daily activities. And to uphold the schedule I'll need a clock. Simple as that.

FINE! Do what you want. Clearly, you don't need my advice.

Bloody hells, if I wasn't sure before, at this point I can guarantee he isn't smart enough to recognize the futility of his plan, even after his anger has fully dissipated.

If there are any gods out there witnessing this shitshow unfold, I beg of you: Please offer up any divine protection you can. I don't want to end up chained to this dumbass forever.

[Complex skill Acquired: Telepathy] [Host acquired Complex skill: Essence Concealment Lvl 8] [Host acquired Complex skill: Telepathy] [Host acquired Mythical-Unique skill: Memory Sap (U)]

Soul Parasite has risen to Lvl 2!

There's no way that should have worked.

What just happened? You somehow instantly taught me how to use a skill! Did you also gain some new skills?

I did. I also earned Telepathy, though not the other ones. I merely "yelled" at you to activate the skill as a last-ditch effort. You by no means should have been able to do it. It should have taken months of practice before you unlocked the skill, but now it's already at level 8! It must be that Mythical skill you got. Maybe I can teach you other skills like that too.

And hopefully further level my own Mythical skill.

I don't think I should repeat that too often. I didn't just get the memory of how to use the spell. I got every memory connected to it as well, like your celebration after the first time using it, or the time you snuck into the girls'...

Is he blushing? What are you, thirteen!?

I probably shouldn't abuse this.

I'm sure with practice you'll be able to narrow down the memories you get to only those that you need. If you can train it to a high level, it would be an insanely powerful ability.

Not to mention I'll hopefully get something out of it too, muahahahaha!

So, turns out I don't get control of his body when he sleeps. Which means I get to do fuck all while I'm waiting around. I'm also back in the dark, since the bastard doesn't even have the common decency to sleep with his eyes open.

Okay I shouldn't let my frustrations out on him. Not like it's his fault he sleeps like a normal person. Then again, it totally is his fault I'm stuck here in the first place, so fuck him after all.

Well, now that that's out of the way I still need to find something to pass the time with. Can I grind any of my skills while I'm in here? Maybe I should Introspect a bit. Peering into the soul realm is probably more interesting than the inky blackness I see right now.

Yup, his puny vessel's still here.

And so is my tether to his vessel.

And so is my tether to the interface.

And so is his tether to the interface.

Great, everything right where I left it. What fun this little excursion was.

What should I do next? Heh, maybe I can tap into Goldie's dream or something, that might be entertaining.

Wait a second, could I really do that? Soul Parasite said I could tap into his senses and people dream with their senses, sort of. I mean, dream weavers exist, so who's to say I couldn't do the same thing? I'm to only one who has Soul Parasite, so I may as well experiment.

HAHA, I DID IT! I am a GOD! It only took me a couple hours' worth of fiddling around too!

Any god monitoring my thoughts right now, that was metaphorical. Please do not smite me for my insolence.

Heh, just kidding. The gods don't give two shit's about me.

Now, let's see what's going on here...

Wait, is he dreaming of work!? Itoyas Ayal this guy's nuts.

Says the guy talking to himself.

I'm not even gonna answer that, me.

Okay all jokes aside I'm not that crazy from lack of social contact yet. At least I'm not narrating everything I see and do.

So what's Goldie up to in his dream, anyway? He seems pretty agitated right now.

"Seriously, you need to listen to me! Flousshire isn't as safe as you think! Twenty or so years from now some scumbags will break into your store and steal all your wares and gold!" Goldie yelps in a panicked voice. Okay I won't do that, it's too obnoxious.

"Sir, you need to calm down. Otherwise you'll scare off potential customers."

"You aren't listening! I'm serious right now Goldie, I'm you from the future and if you don't do as I say your store is doomed!"

"Hah, me from the future, that's a good one. You fail to consider that not only do you look nothing like me, but also that nothing like that could ever happen in Flousshire."

Doesn't seem like either of the two Goldies are gonna back down.

"You'll lose everything, dammit! EVERYTHING! You're going to waste your life working to the bone, only to have the rug pulled out from under you. You'll lose your money, store and even the rights to your own gods dammed company if you don't follow my advice!"

Man, this is actually kind of depressing. I don't know if I want to continue listening in...

Better go check what time it is. Maybe I'll have an excuse to wake him from this nightmare.

That fucking path really wasn't kidding when it said you'd learn skills even more quickly.

I can't believe how unfair this shit is. I trained hard to get where I am today, and this 40 year old virgin just gets everything handed to him like it's nothing, and he isn't even thankful for it.

Maybe Andrew was right about becoming a grand wizard when you stay chaste your whole life? Pfft, even if that were true I'd still rather partake in life's pleasures, but you do you, Drew.

Back to the topic at hand, this here mister Pyrite definitely seems to have the gods on his side. Then again, if all that religious nonsense is to be believed, the Triumvirate of 'Justice' compensates those who had a great evil done to them.

And yet I didn't get a bloody thing.

Okay Xander, think happy thoughts. You can't change the past, just focus on the now.

Yeah, the now. The now where I'm fucking stuck in the body of my killer and can't get out.

Shit sucks.

Ah, I think he's giving me a telepathic question... 'What skills do I know?'

Like, in general? Oh wait he's looking at a list right now. Time for another round of tutoring I suppose...

Look, I told you you'd probably have your issues with such a method. You want to gain levels? Anima doesn't just fall from trees. Either you take it from people, or you take it from other animals.

And now I hear he's a gods dammed pacifist too. You just killed me you asshat!

It was you who told me that anything would be better than fighting monsters.

Okay you made your point, monsters it is. That still leaves the question of how the hells I'm supposed to learn to fight!

You have that memory stealing ability of yours, don't you? With that enchantable dagger, you may as well learn to use it.

Seriously he has the most powerful seeming ability I've ever seen, and he refuses to use it? I mean, I wouldn't care if my own freedom didn't depend on it.

Okay but try to cut down on the unnecessary memories this time. No repeats of 'climbing through the changing room window'.

YESSS!

I kinda just offer them up and you suck them away, so no guarantees they're all useful.

Sorry buddy, but I'm not sure I can comply. I need to try something first.

...

What's taking him so long to start?

Uhh, having some performance issues there pal? Pun intended.

Shut it! This isn't as easy as it looks. Actually, would you mind telepathically yelling at me like last time?

Yeah man easy peasy. Just gotta concentrate and internally scream at him with all my being. Just like last time there's now a tether between our two vessels.

Ah, I can feel the familiar sensation of him sifting through my memories already. Still sends a shifter down my nonexistent spine.

Soul Parasite has risen to Lvl 3!

AHA! So, it does increase the level. I guess because him having my memories makes us more in tune with one another?

Now, to the test, what happens when I forcibly strengthen our connection? Let's try it out! Just gotta concentrate on the flow of information. Lengthen the time of every memory by a second, that way he won't just be getting the swing of my sword, but he'll also get to see who I murdered. Perhaps if he gets hundreds of murder-memories he won't have as much of an aversion to it.

Maybe I can transport my consciousness into his body? How would I do that, though? Hijack the tether somehow?

I'll go ahead by trying to 'donate' a bit of my anima in addition to the tether enlargement.

Soul Parasite has risen to Lvl 4!

Okay seems to be working.

[Complex skill Acquired: Corrupt]

Ah, so that's what Soul Parasite was referring to? Well, better start grinding it up if I want my sense of touch back.

Soul Parasite has risen to Lvl 4!

Soul Parasite has risen to Lvl 5!

Corrupt has risen to Lvl 2!

Corrupt has risen to Lvl 3!

Corrupt has risen to Lvl 4!

YES, I CAN FEEL AGAIN.

I can't believe how much I've missed feeling my skin against fabric and touching the sweet, sweet ground. Maybe I can convince him to let me taste some food? Actually, if I could pilot his body, maybe I could just eat while he sleeps?

...

Shit, I can't move his body. At least not yet, I should just focus on transferring more of my Energy into his vessel!

Corrupt has risen to Lvl 5!

Corrupt has risen to Lvl 6!

Come on, I just need to push a bit more of myself into him!

Okay, that came out totally wrong. What's your deal, brain?

Point still stands, I need to focus more!

Soul Parasite has risen to Lvl 6!

I can feel it, I can move him ever so slightly. Come on, just a tiny bit more.

Wait a minute, I get that I would be sweating from the strain, but this isn't my body.

His heartrate is through the roof too!

Oh shit ow OW OW! What the hell is this burning all over my body!? Itoyas ayal it feels like I'm drowning in acid again GET IT OFF!

Ah, I got pushed out. Hmm, as nice as feeling something again was, I'd kinda forgotten how much being in pain sucks.

[Complex skill Acquired: Possession]

Alright so, turns out Possession is a skill I could have learned, and quite easily at that.

Instead of connecting to his vessel, I just needed to connect to his body. I kind of forgot people normally had that since... well since I no longer do.

Now, I can't really move him while he's asleep, since he's also still connected to his body and will probably wake up if I do anything. At least I get to feel something, even if it's the hard wagon floor.

Aside from that: If Possession is called Possession and not Corruption. What is Corruption's typical function?

Corrupt: Taint another user's mind, body and soul by injecting incompatible energies into their vessel. Long term effects are rampant emotions, rapid aging, mutations, insanity, complete soul destruction. Skill dependent on Will, Lvl, Ins, Per, Level, and strength of soul bond.

Oh gods... no. No, it can't be! Is this really it? Did I really do that!?

Fuck! Those bastards, I knew they did something! Fucking inquisition assholes Corrupted my mom into permanent death!

And I... I just used that very same skill on somebody else.

I'm an awful person, aren't I?

I swear, I won't ever do something like that again!

░▒▓█►─═ օյօյօյյյ օյյօյյյյ օյյյօօյօ օյյօյյօօ օյյօօյօօ օօյօօօօօ օյօյօյօօ օյյյօօյօ օյյօօյօյ օյյօօյօյ ═─◄█▓▒░

"Ehehehe, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

What's up with her?

"What's up with you?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all, brother dearest."

Ugh, there she goes again.

"Only that I happened upon a perfect candidate for our escapades. And you'll definitely love whose son it is"

"What makes you so sure he's 'perfect'?"

"Heh, let me introduce him to you first, you'll love this!"

*Sigh*

"I guess it beats waiting around for a miracle."