《Amazing Cleavage: The Adventures of a Battle Axe》Chapter Eight: Wrong Hole

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Casey’s point of view remained above the camp, as returning to the axe would be pointless. It lay in the dirt, all but forgotten. There was no trace of demon left at the camp, but the damage they’d caused was visible everywhere he looked. Most of the fires were out, but remains of tents and furniture still smoked.

Cahaya stood up, her mother cradled in her arms. she shambled to the edge of the camp, and every Tante she passed joined her. Some women, including daun, carried others that hadn’t survived the attack, one of which he recognized from the cavern. One that he’d...

Casey attempted to follow, but soon reached the limit of how far his point of view could carry. for a moment, he thought of calling out, but he knew better. the tante needed to mourn, in whatever way they did. he was of no importance right now. If he and Jamen hadn’t ever came to this world, they’d probably all still be alive.

When they reached a rocky outcropping to the south of the Ibu camp, they laid the women down in a row. Casey counted twelve, and a glance back to the camp showed him the Ibu had lost at least that number. A few of the red-headed contingent had set up a makeshift infirmary, and were busy tending to Ibu and Tante alike.

The dark skinned women to the south set to work constructing a pyre, gathering whatever wood and brush they could find. This still puzzled Casey - he’d seen perhaps five or six trees since he’d been here, and those were barely more than shrubs. Yet the Ibu had wood. They had furniture - beds, chairs. Come to think of it, where’d they get the cotton for their cloth? The iron for their mail? Hell, where did they get water?

Soon, the pyre was lit, and a blaze rose into the air, black smoke blotting out the moon. Chanting drifted in, riding on the scent of wood smoke and charred flesh. Their cries started low, but quickly grew in pitch and speed as the fire rose higher. He couldn’t make out Cahaya from this distance--apparently his super vision had limits--but he was certain he could hear her voice with the others, calling out for the loss of her mother.

Casey looked to the north, where the Ibu were busy digging parallel graves at the base of a rocky hill, using pickaxes and spades to work the hard-packed dirt. Low singing, keyed minor but still harmonious, swirled in from the grave diggers, mingling with the chants of the Ibu. It made for a mournful symphony, and made Casey feel more lonely than he’d ever remembered feeling.

Powerless to help in any way, and not wanting to disturb their grief, Casey looked down at his new body from above. It was a crazy weapon. A silly weapon. Back in Arousia, he would have been more than happy to wield it, but here? Cahaya was right. He was a no-man. He floated down, back into his bladed prison, and drifted off to sleep as their mournful music filled the desert night.

He woke to someone swinging him around by his dick. In that tender moment, yanked from a dream, before memory of the current situation slips back in, that’s exactly what it felt like to Casey. The world spun around him, browns and reds and blues, and he bit back his panic.

I’m in... what had she called it? Memek. Yes. Cahaya. I’m an axe. The world still flashed by in streaks, only pausing when his blade came to the end of a swing. He gave himself the mental equivalent of an eye rub. Remembering his POV, he stabilized it, then sent it out of his form to take in the situation.

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Blessedly, the world went still. Well, still-ish. Beneath him, Cahaya swung the axe--him--at an advancing Ibu woman. The sun was just peeking over the horizon, and if Casey had to guess, had yanked Cahaya from her slumber as well. Around them, most of the ibu and tante still slept, but not all. One of the red-headed warriors leaned on her spear, watching the confrontation.

“Give me the axe, cave-dweller. I know what he is. I know what he is capable of.” She darted forward, thrusting her spear at Cahaya’s midsection, but Cahaya ducked into a roll, coming to her feet behind her attacker. she raised the axe over her head.

“Cahaya, no!” Casey called. In that instant, the weapon slipped from her hands, clanking to the ground hard. It was as if the dark-skinned woman had suddenly found herself wielding a telephone pole.

The Ibu attacker saw her opening and lunged again, the tip of her spear slicing into the flesh of Cahaya’s thigh. She bit back a scream, then grabbed the spear, forcing the point into the dirt. Momentum carried the attacker into the air, flying over the spear, landing in a heap next to where Casey had fallen.

“The axe belongs with us! Not a filthy cave rat.” She reached for the weapon, a greedy smile spreading across her dirty face, when the butt of a Tante spear came down on her outstretched hand. The Ibu woman yelped.

Above her, Daun twisted the spear, garnering another yelp before the Ibu could bring her hand protectively to her chest. “No-man is ours. No-man is salvation.” She pointed south with her spear. “Your man is gone. Demons take him.”

The Ibu jumped to her feet and made to lunge for the axe again, but Cahaya thrust out her hand, fingers contorted in her sigil. Her sevel flowed, forming a ball of white light in front of her. The red-haired woman held up her hands in submission, then backed away.

“Fine, cave witch. But your magics won’t always be there for you. That weapon will be mine.”

“Mirima!” growled a voice from the direction of the Ibu camp. Merah appeared, blood still staining her face and midsection. “Back to the camp.” Mirima took one last glance at the axe, then Cahaya, hatred twisting her freckled features.

“Now!” Merah bellowed. Her underling’s face morphed from disgust to acquiescence as she approached her leader with her tail between her legs.

Cahaya picked Casey out of the dirt, brushing his blade off with the back of her hand. The axe shuddered, and the Tante woman’s eyes went wide.

“Sorry. That... tickles,” Casey said.

A hint of a grin flirted with Cahaya’s face, and she traced the edge of his blade with two fingers. Casey was unsure as to if the Tante had short memories. Her mother and many of her tribe had died the night before. Maybe she understands that life is short. Life is for the living.

Daun approached the pair, with a medicine pouch already open in her hand. Cahaya sat on a nearby rock, and allowed herself to be ministered to. The cut on her leg was not deep, but it was more than a scratch. The woman kept her voice low as she addressed Cahaya.

“You fought well, but there are bigger rocks to climb.” Daun gestured over her shoulder as she smeared a pungent yellow salve on Cahaya’s thigh. “Cuka claims the tribe.” Casey looked to where Daun had motioned, where a woman stood atop a rock, a crowd of perhaps ten other Tante clustered around her. Her long hair was fashioned into two braids which draped over each shoulder, over average-sized breasts. Well, average for here, Casey mused. Back home she’d be in the top one percent.

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Cahaya made for her feet, but Daun sat her back down, forcefully. “Not now. Most will accept you as leader, but most are still in caves.” She tied off the bandage on Cahaya’s thigh more forcefully than necessary, earning a grunt and a glare.

Shrugging off her friend’s hand, Cahaya stood, this time meeting no resistance from Daun. She reached for Casey, who again put his metaphorical foot down.

“No, Cahaya!” Casey wanted to back away, but once again, he was powerless. Or perhaps, not so much as he thought. She reached for him, but as in her earlier fight, Casey the Battle Axe might as well have been Thor’s hammer.

Cahaya grunted in frustration as she tried to lift the axe from the dirt, earning a wide-eyed smirk from Daun.

“What magic is this?” Cahaya growled.

Casey tried to keep his voice level. “I’m sorry, Cahaya, but I think the ‘magic’ is whatever makes me me. I can’t be made to do something I don’t want to do.” Then, under his breath, “Thank God.”

Cahaya wrinkled her nose. “Why? We fight well. Together.”

“Demons are one thing,” Casey said. “Humans, or whatever you call yourselves, are different. I’ll help you slaughter demons all day long. Hunt for food. But I have to draw a line somewhere. Despite appearences, I am a man. A person.” He gave her his best smile, before realizing he didn’t have one.

Despite what he felt was his best placating tone, Cahaya's expression turned dour. “No-man is useless. You are no man. You are no weapon.” She spat on the ground next to him. “You are nothing!” With that, she stormed off.

Casey blinked invisibly. I did not expect that. The resigned look on Daun’s face told Casey that she’d experienced this kind of outburst from her before, but he was still taken aback. While she could be surly, she was usually level-headed.

“Don’t worry, no-man.” Daun bent down and placed a hand on Casey’s shaft. “Permission?”

An electric shiver ran through him. Yes, yes you may. Repeatedly. “Granted.”

“Thank you, no-man.” She picked him up and hoisted him to a shoulder. To the west, Cahaya was storming off to the bluffs overlooking the camp. She spared one look over her shoulder, a glare for Cuka, who still proselytized from a nearby rock, then disappeared behind a boulder.

Casey watched her go with a pang of regret.

“Do not worry, no-man. Cahaya is strong. In the body,”--she sniffed--”and in the head.”

“Please, Daun. My name is Casey.” The no-man shit was getting old.

“Casey,” Daun repeated. “Hunt with me, Casey?”

He spared one last glance to where Cahaya ran off. “Yeah,okay. But Cahaya seems the jealous type.” Not that she sees me as anything more than a weapon.

Daun laughed heartily, causing her chest to bounce against his handle. “Worry not. My tongue will soothe her.” She stroked a foot-long section of his shaft. “Or you will.” She smiled. “Or perhaps, we both will.”

Casey sighed. Tough to hide an omnipresent boner.

Daun sprinted east, away from the encampment, at a speed Casey still found shocking. Where Cahaya was powerfully built, Daun was more limber, and Casey had no reservations placing his bets on Daun were the two to get in a footrace.

“Where are we going?” He shouted as he bounced pleasantly along.

“We hunt.”

“Okay. Hunting it is, then.” He contented himself with taking in the view, both of his current handler and their surroundings. The desolate landscape had sprouted foliage--low, thick-leaved bushes with blue flowers and two-inch thorns.

A minute later and Daun paused, at the edge of another feature he had yet to see here - a creek.

She bent down and scooped up a double handful of the cool liquid, and Casey found himself missing his mouth. She scooped again, and poured it over her breasts and neck.

No. Now I miss my mouth.

“Does Casey drink?”

Casey sighed. “No, not currently.” He was tempted to ask her for a dip in the cool water, but he was worried about rust, as every phallo-sapient battle axe should be.

They crossed the creek, and the ground started to slope upwards, towards what he originally thought were hills. Now, he could see that they were true mountains. Still distant, but he could clearly see glaciers capping the highest peaks.

“Daun, has anyone made a map of your land?”

She leapt over a boulder, not breaking stride. “Tante need no maps. We know our land. It knows us.”

“Yeah, but...”

His thoughts were interrupted. Being launched at a beast that looked liked a bear and an octopus decided to have a go of it can have that effect. A wide head sat atop a halo of flailing, hairy, segmented limbs. Whatever evolutionary niche this thing filled had to be pretty damn specific.

Daun screamed, a primal, raspy cry, raising the axe overhead as she leapt. The beast pivoted, black, furry limbs moving fluidly. It brought one up to block the attack. Just in time for Casey to...

Cleave!

-18 SP.

The Tante woman barely held on, not expecting the weapon to have such a mind of its own. A smile grew on her full lips. Casey assumed she realized the potential she wielded.

The beast roared, sounding very much like a bear and nothing like an octopus, and lashed out at Daun’s head with whip-like speed. She ducked into a roll, and brought the axe down on the extended limb.

Cleave!

-18 SP.

Costing less now. Must have been from my level up.

Daun sprung up from her crouch, aiming for center mass with a vicious roundhouse swing. Casey zeroed in on the target, a spot of silver fur smack in the middle of the beast’s forehead.

Cleave!

Insufficient SP.

Shit. I never got topped off after the demon battle. I guess you don’t get free refills on your birthday here.

The strike still hit its target and hacked off a bloody strip of fur, but did nowhere near the damage Casey had expected. Or Daun for that matter. “Why did Casey not strike? You are... heavy.”

“Not nice to mention a guy’s weight. But I’m out of SP.” She made a questioning grunt as they landed on the other side of the animal, who was frantically rotating to face them. “Think of it like your sevel. It’s what keeps me swinging. Speaking of which, you can use your sevel to recharge me. Cahaya and her mother did that for me back in the cave.”

“Bah,” Daun spat.

“What?”

“I have no Sevel.” She sounded embarrassed by this admission. There was no time to reflect on this, however, as the bear had zeroed in on them. Two, eight-foot tentacles of furry doom flailed at them.

Daun tried to swing the axe, but was clearly struggling. She brought it crashing down from an overhead strike, but her attack was slow, almost fatally so. A limb caught her midsection, leaving a red gash across her toned stomach.

She said something in her native tongue, which judging by her expression was profane in nature. She tossed Casey aside, then withdrew her spear from her back sheath. Unencumbered by Casey’s weight, she lunged, dodging the second limb and streaking for the creature’s head. Her spear found the mark Casey’s had, and she sunk the spear a good eight inches deep into it’s skull. It gave a shriek, then went still.

Daun placed a foot on the corpse’s head, then withdrew the weapon with a crunchy squelch. she wiped the spearhead on the dirt to get rid of the blood, replaced it in its sheath, then took a flint dagger from her belt. For the next ten minutes, she went to town on the corpse, treating Casey to an excellent view of her posterior as she butchered and skinned it with an astonishing degree of precision.

When she’d finished, she plopped the bag of meat next to Casey. The good thing about an octopus bear, as it turned out, was that they came with their own bag, if their head was skinned correctly.

Daun picked the battle axe up out of the dirt, sat cross-legged beside it, and set it in her lap. She brushed some dirt off the ax head, a motion that Casey was growing to appreciate.

“How can Daun recharge you?”

Casey grew warm under her touch. “I think if you keep brushing the dirt off me like that, it might do the trick.” He laughed. “But honestly, there’s something about sevel that fills me up, both magically and physically.” He sighed. “It’s a shame you don’t have it.”

A look of mild consternation spread across Daun’s face. “Daun has many talents. Daun no need sevel.”

Casey had a hunch that he didn’t need sevel either, to fill his SP anyway. if he was right, any gratification he received would do the trick. And while he wasn’t entirely comfortable with the concept of getting a blow job in battle, he wasn’t entirely opposed to the concept. The storytellers would have a heyday with it.

He let his point of view wander, looking over the body of his current Tante companion, his mind racing with the thoughts of what they could do together, even in his current form. Hell, especially in his current form. But before he could put together the words, his mind returned to Cahaya. Which was silly, of course.

I’ve only known the girl for two days. Besides, I have an entire population to impregnate. I can’t get hung up on one woman. And hadn’t she stormed off in a huff when I’d refused to be her tool?

He was about to open his mouth to suggest a rather risque course of action, when a high pitched squealing filled his ears. He instinctively tried to cover them, before remembering he couldn’t. Daun seemed unaffected.

“Casey! Casey, can you hear me?”

Casey pivoted his point of view, but saw nothing. “Dr. Wurnsworth? I can hear you, but just barely.”

Daun scowled. “The doctor is back at the camp, but she is not a worm.”

“Casey,” the static-laden voice of the doctor repeated, “have you found Jamen?”

“No, I haven’t. We had him, but they took him.”

“Taken by whom?” The doctor was shouting, but he didn’t have to, now. The static had abated and Casey could hear him just fine.

“Demons, I think.”

“What you mean, demons? Casey, I told you it was of utmost importance that you find Jamen, and keep him next to you. If I’m to have any chance of getting you out of there…”

“I didn’t intend on losing him, Doc.” Casey said. “I don’t know where you think I am, but the situation here is not exactly idyllic.”

For a moment, the doctor was silent, and Casey thought the connection might be broken. “Well, I guess there’s nothing for it. We’re going to attempt this, anyway.” The doctor’s voice grew even louder, every word enunciated as if speaking into Thomas Edison wax cylinder recorder. “Casey. I need you to think of home. Concentrate on it with every ounce of your being. Your job. Your family. Your car. Whatever you can. Go there in your mind.”

Casey did as instructed. He thought of his job at the University. He thought of his Geo Metro. He thought of his mom and dad, and how he hadn’t been out to visit them on the East Coast in over two years.

“Are you picturing it, Casey?”

“Yeah, Doc. I am. Go for it.”

“Now hold that picture. Hold it with every ounce of will you possess.”

Willpower, as it turned out, wasn’t Casey’s strong suit. Casey attempted to do as he was instructed, but with everything that had been going on, it was like trying to ask him not to think of an elephant. His mind instantly went back to Cahaya, if only for a fleeting second.

In the air in front of them, a disturbance formed. Daun, ever alert, sprang to her feet, spear at the ready. The disturbance expanded, glowing, swirling bands of red and orange forming the outline of a portal.

“Demons!” Daun hissed.

“No, Daun, wait!” Casey said. She sprang backwards from the portal, landing in a crouch. The opening grew wider, and soon he could make out features on the other side. People.

He didn’t recognize them at first, but Daun did, instantly. After a moment, realization dawned on him as well.

A woman stood in the portal. “Cahaya? Why are you…” Casey cut himself off mid-sentence when he realized he’d made a mistake.

The woman was the spitting image of Cahaya, but it was someone else who stared at him in shock from the other side of the portal.

It was her mother. And she was very pregnant.

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