《The Clover Club》[12th Entry: Mai Tai]
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Huh…?
That’s funny. Where’s my acid-trip of a dream?
Hello? Vi? Turn on the lights, and let’s get this psychotherapy session a’rollin’!
“Therapy?” Revi’s voice perked inquisitively from a haze moments before my senses were bombarded with light. “Turning on the lights; that I can do. But… uh… I don’t think anyone, not even Ora is a licensed therapist. Least qualified of all being me.”
Flinging my arms out reflexively, my unfamiliar surroundings slowly crept into focus.
“Wah!? Revi, what the hell!?”
“You told me to turn on the lights, so I did.”
“No, not that! Why the heck are you in my dream? Vi, come out already!”
As I panned about the room, the details of its furnishings were reminiscent of the Clover Club’s lower estates embroidered with reflective metals simulating gold. Dark wood and black angular metal, both archaic yet sophisticated, retaining the ultra-modern status quo. Were it not for the lack of sleep driving my delirium, I would have thought to pinch myself sooner, but Revi stepped forward and did it for me.
“Ou-hey! Err-what? This isn’t a dream- for real?”
Revi shook his head, then shrugged his shoulders.
“Then why the hell are you in a towel half-naked?”
And then it dawned on me, and before he could speak up, I jabbed him in the chest with my finger.
“Oh, I get it. This is about the reward I promised, isn’t it?”
“Else…” He started, but I already had my alibi ready to fire from the hip.
“I haven’t bathed in a few days, and my bandages are probably ripe … I guess if you REALLY want to, I-“
“ELSE! Chill for a second! I never agreed to a reward. I came to get you because you stink! It’s half-past bath time, and now that you mention it, half-past time to change your bandages. C’mon, get up.”
Unconsciously, the corner of my mouth began to twitch in an amalgam of irritancy and relief as I hoisted the heavy comforter blanket from my legs.
“Who dressed me in this men’s button-up and these boy-shorts? They don’t even match.”
“Does it really matter?” Revi grimaced, discharging a subtle whiff of guilt.
“Methinks you already had your fill, Mr. Fox. How typical of a scavenger to lie in wait hoping to avoid a struggle… or could it be; did ya not like what you see?
“Okay… Starting to get a bit offended. Else, could you knock it off? I don’t know what I did to warp your perception of me as some sort of deviant, but whatever it was, I’m sorry. Do you want me to show you to the baths, or do you just want me to leave?”
“Your reactions to a little teasing are very amusing, but there’s no reason for you to be sorry. I should be the one apologizing for nailing you with that sucker-punch… so… uh… yeah… I’m really sorry about that- I meant to tell Liger where you were at first thing and-.”
“Else, really, it’s okay. I’m happy for you. Going through all that, you saved your friend’s life. So, C’mon, let’s get the hero of the day washed up… you’re covered in oil and smell like burnt toast.”
While I followed Revi’s lead down the empty hallway, my attention drifted to the faux windows, scrolling between digital worlds and cuts of a better life. As with most commercial enterprises, the lack of physical space in Scarlet City forced many entrepreneurs and industries deep underground. In the underbelly, businesses like the Golden Lotus served the top percentage of the lower Castes, mostly Beastkin, and certain Humans who prefer a reclusive lifestyle.
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The glowing OLED panels in place of windows were a mere glimpse of the sights I’ve experienced in Virtual, hell, for a moment I thought to have caught sight of a vista taken directly from the Clover Club itself in the form of an advertisement. All my life, I looked down upon the tops of the clouds, wondering what life was like for other Beastkin. Now that I can safely say my feet were shuffling nearly half a kilometer below the planet's crust, I wondered what fate befell my home orbiting at the edge of the atmosphere.
“I know that look,” Revi spoke up suddenly as he gestured me inside the elevator carriage. “Homesick, yeah?”
“I wish I knew how to properly answer that, but yeah, let’s go with that.”
“Ora says the Perishable Preservation Unit in the kitchen is still functioning, and that we should have enough to eat for at least the next five years… granted the electricity stays on. I don’t know if I could ever get used to living here, given what I am.”
“Huh? Whatever do you mean?” I raised a brow as Revi slapped a button labeled with a water droplet.
“I’m from the second bottom rung in the Caste System. A common breed like me is nothing but a pet, not even fit for labor. Under any other circumstances, I’d never be allowed on the premises without my owner. It’s just weird, that’s all. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect any of this to happen.”
“Well, I mean, who could predict an epidemic?” I forcibly chuckled. “A part of me that hopes society as we once knew it will remain dead. Why help rebuild something that’s going to eventually put the heel back to our throat? We’re free of the Caste System, I’d like it to stay that way, and I’m sure there’s plenty of others who share that sentiment.”
After a short horizontal scoot and twelve-floor descent, the elevator came to a halt with a soft chime. As the doors parted, I was met with a pleasant breeze, both humid and laden with fragrant soaps.
“I don't think Al would share that perspective. Since he rescued us, he’s treated Maya and me better than we deserve. Maybe if there’s more humans like him… instead of rebuilding what we had; we make something new out of all the broken pieces… I don’t know… It’s been a while since I’ve felt ‘safe’, but now I have too much time to think.”
“Just do what I do and forget the past and resist the future. If you spend too much time reminiscing about the past or dwelling on what’s to come, you end up fast-forwarding through the present.”
“You make it sound so easy.” Revi murmured as we approached a segregated partition. On our left, and entry branded for Humans only, and to our right, Beastkin. “I envy that skill of yours; you’re so carefree.”
“Well, then lemme give you a crash-course!” I smirked, snatching him by the hand as we pressed through the door restricted to human admittance.
“W-Wait, h-hold up! Else! I’ve already bathed!” He stammered, unable to dig his heels into the tiled floor slick with glittering beads of mist.
“It’s not like we’ll get in trouble, and I could use some help getting the oil out of my hair. You scrub my back, and I’ll scrub yours!”
On the narrow passage through the dressing room filled with various compartments and lockers, I snagged a handful of towels from a dispenser before ducking beneath a privacy curtain with Revi firmly in tow. Inside the communal bathing chamber, rows of open stalls separated us from an onsen embedded in the marble floor, the walls lined with digital representations of plants known as holo-flora.
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“Whoa… it’s really pretty.” I gasped, blinking away the similarities drawn from the augmented-reality suite aboard the Clover Club. “Find us the biggest stall, Revi! Go long~!”
Hooking my hand into the towel wrapped around his waist, I threw my arm forward as one would a bowling ball, sending Revi skidding along the tile like a drunken figure-skater.
“Elseeeee~!!” He cried out, as I looked to his towel balled in the palm of my hand.
“Eh, you don’t need it, and neither do I! Watch out- I’mma coming in hot!”
After throwing off my skivvies and the loose button-up, I charged forward, skating along the slick suds until I managed to catch myself on one of the miniature partitions affixed with rows of shower nozzles.
“Where’d ya go?” I huffed, pulling my bare feet along the tile between cubicles.
“WAH!? Shtop-itt!” Revi’s head poked up suddenly from the adjacent booth separated by a low, central divider.
“How the heck did you get over the wall?”
“Ya bowled me over it! I-I’m warnin’ ya Else, if we’re gonna d-do this, ya can’t look!”
“It’s just a bath, calm down. I’ve seen it all before. Kin, Full-Beasts, nothing surprises me anymore. Stare all you like.”
“I-I’m not staring!”
“He’s totally staring.” Vivian chimed in, causing me to flinch and lose my footing.
“WAAaaAaah!”
*THUD*
“Dahmn it Vih, youh made meh bhite myh tohngue!”
Looking over my shoulder from a face-down position in the damp, I found Vivian resting her elbows along the divider, poised with a smug grin.
“What? You’re the one putting your boot on display! That’s a mighty fine posterior; ultra-low mileage, could use a lil’ polish, but I’m sure all those bruises will buff out by the time your floofy-friend here takes ya to market!”
“Alright Vi, now you’re really asking for it! Where’s my mallet!?” I growled, springing from the floor like a coiled viper only to pass through Vivian and over the barrier.
“E-Elsewhatareyoudoing!? I didn’t look, I swear!” Revi squealed beneath my weight.
“Mah, quit squirming. I wasn’t after you, it’s this damn ghost!”
“GHOST!?” He shrieked. The color drained from his skin.
“Well, not technically a ghost, but annoying none the less. Sorry, I’ll get off you now.”
“WAIT-NO!?”
“What, you want me to keep straddling you? Sorry, but the way you got your tail tucked between your legs is making my crotch itchy.”
Just as I pushed off the ground, Revi shoved his fingers into my eyes, hectically trying to conceal himself.
“D-DON’T- SORRY! I DIDN’T MEAN!?”
“Revi the hell!?!” I hissed, sucking my teeth.
Between blinking and rubbing away the pain, I locked on to the auburn tuft of Revi’s tail curling in over his navel.
Target: Locked…
Time to get to the bottom of this.
“I got 10 Creds he’s got a funny lookin dick.” Vivian’s voice echoed over my shoulder as I snatched Revi’s tail. Before he could protest any further, I deflected his flailing with my forearm, entirely fixated on the reason for all the fuss.
“Revi, where’s your penis?” I chortled. “I don’t see any reason why you’d have to keep your peach a secret.”
“*Sniffle* Itsnot’ a peach… Huu-hgu…” Revi blubbered, burrowing into her elbows, endeavoring to hide the blood rushing to her cheeks. “You wouldn’t understand!”
“Try me.”
Lightheartedly rolling my eyes, I took a seat on a small stool in the center of the stall. “But first, let me guess… this has something to do with your Owner?”
“No…” Revi whimpered, leaning back on her palms. “Maya knows… we’re sisters after all…”
“Ah, so you meant you were both owned by the same person. I can’t imagine why you’d need to keep your identity a secret. You said Al and
Ora were decent people, right?”
“It’s not that…”
“It’s totally that. I can tell without even looking at you how hard you’re blushing. Alright, round two; it has something to do with Al?”
“W-waah?”
“That response sounds like I struck home. But… uhh… seriously though, why would you need to hide your peach from him? He’s got Ora, so if he were some sort of deviant, he’d-.”
“D-Don’t call him th-that! Al is-!”
“Alright, alright, calm down. I can see you harbor some pretty intense feelings for him… and Ora is… Oh… I see…”
As brooding silence threatened to drown our conversation, I thumbed through the selection of soaps listed on the digital display ingrained in the shower-head's large handle. It was apparent even without looking that Revi continued to struggle with the knot in her tongue, so it took me by surprise when she laid her forehead against my spine, flattening her ears in the process.
“I’ve never been in the position to give advice, and my past definitely twisted my definition of ‘love’, so why don’t we shift gears; why do you like-slash-love big ol’ Al?” I asked, turning on the handheld shower-head before passing it over my shoulder.
As the warmth from the water washed over my weary bones, a thick veil of mist enveloped our little pocket of privacy. For all her timidity, Revi had no problem scrubbing away at my scabs and bruises, not that I’d complain, the fragrant grapefruit-scented soap jettisoning from the shower-head cleansed my very soul.
“If you’ve never been in love…” She started, only to be muffled over the deluge pouring over my head. “Maybe you’d understand why I can’t find the words…”
“So why dress up like a boy then? I can’t see how that’d help your cause?”
“Err-well, Al likes tough chicks… but I knew it wouldn’t be enough to dress and act the part…”
“On the surface, Ora looks to be all fluff and no fervor, and by fluff, I mean tits… I mean, damn, what is she an E-Cup?”
“I-I wouldn’t know…” Revi babbled as she ran a rag along the nape of my neck, meticulously removing the soap that clung to every edifice and curve.
“Ya would too~! I caught you and Maya’s little sneak-and-peek session!”
Instead of the timorous reaction I was anticipating, Revi started with a sniffle, and then began to wail.
“W-What’s wrong, Revi?” I spun about on my rear, stopping short of 180 degrees.
“I knew he was already taken!” She sobbed. “The next best thing is to be by his side, a-and I didn’t want Ora to be mad at me – I have no right to steal him, s-so I… *sniff* I… *huc*.”
“There, there.” I tutted, patting the shaggy wet mane dripping between her ears. “You were willing to go that far only to settle on second best, I can see why you’re struggling to speak… damn… you’re a hell of a lot tougher than you look, Revi.”
“*Sniffle* Y-you really think s-so?”
“Yeah, I can see how you took my punch to your gut. You have enough of em to stand by his side. I’d say you’re full of guts- lots of em!”
“When you put it that way, it sounds kinda… disgusting…”
“Hey, my punches are next level for my size! If you think being full of guts is gross, then what if I told you all my muscles are modified aortic tissue? My medical caretakers back in the day would say I’m literally full of heart! Look at us! We’re two peas in a pod! Two fleshy meat-filled pods!” I cheered, swiping the shower-head prior to unleashing a torrent of suds over the teary-eyed Fox-Kin.
Secondary Target: Locked!
Having bowled Revi onto her backside, I seized the moment and pounced, planting my cheek between her nonexistent breasts.
“Awh, Revi! You’re so flat I could land a shuttle on yew~! It’s your turn for a scrubbin’ -hold still!”
“WAAH!? ELSE-SHTOPIIIT~!!”
While I continued to wrestle Revi into submission, a noise outside the entryway went unnoticed.
“Man, how do you wash all this fur on your tail!? Now that it’s waterlogged, people are gonna mistake you for a rat! Hehehee!”
“Else- wait! Did you hear that!?”
“Like I’d fall for the oldest trick in the book!”
“No, seriously- we’ve been messing around way too long! We aren’t the last to use the showers, we were the second!”
And then it finally registered. The noises from before were…
Footsteps…
“You’re lucky you’re made of metal, Metal Man. I don’t think twenty baths could ever rid me of this filth. Good work helping me clear out the lower floors. You know I used to be in the service myself, well, that is until a friendly popped me in the backside.”
“I was informed through introductory facial recognition protocol. You were made a second Lieutenant upon honorable discharge. Were you still in service, I would have saluted you when we first met, Lt. Cirle.”
Prattling among themselves, Liger and Al entered the bathes as I reflexively switched off the shower-head.
“(W-Where’s my towel?)” Revi strained to muffle the panic creeping in her voice. “(Else, don’t tell me you left mine on the floor!?)”
Haplessly, I shrugged. I wasn’t even entirely sure where I had placed my own towel for that matter. Not that I cared, eavesdropping is one of my favorite pastimes. Watching someone drop one social mask for another is like peeling the layers of an onion
“Ugh, there’s no need to use that title. My military career is far behind me. Six long years enlisted in the Praetorian Militia was just enough for a pension, now look at the world, so much for my retirement.”
Huffing irritably, Al bound a towel to his waist as he and Liger paced towards the stalls nearest the entrance.
“I was unaware that a private Security Contractor was able to draft civilians outside their country of origin.”
“That’s because they can’t. My family got tied up owing a couple of shady government officials, something about inflating their social credit score. I was too young to comprehend what the hell was going on when I enlisted, and I’ve been on my own for so long, my family probably thinks I’m dead.”
“You have my condolences.” Liger said plainly as his suit dispersed into a swarm of metal shards before condensing and fluttering about in the palm of his hand.
“Nah, I don’t need no pity. I met Ora through the hospital during my recovery. For the longest time, I thought I screwed something up to warrant getting shot in the back by my own men, but damn, when I woke up to that angel leaning over me I nearly drowned in my hospital bed! Haha!”
“Although I have never been officially briefed on the various roles performed by medical staff, waterboarding your patients seems… counterproductive.”
“Waterboarding? That was a joke. There’s no need to be so cut and dry when your superiors aren’t around, speaking of which; what were you doing out on your own lugging around two Civis? Don’t you have better things to do?”
“While out in the field, I discovered a distress signal in my vicinity… but, depending on who you ask, one might say I was fulfilling a promise. Once my power armor achieves a sufficient charge, I will attempt to make contact with my liaison. For now, protocol dictates that I standby.”
“So you’re gonna stick around for a bit?! Really!?” I cheered, springing from behind cover.
“For the meantime.” Liger nodded, entirely unphased by my sudden appearance. “I have made securing this structure priority one.”
“Else…” Revi moaned, huddled and wriggled in fear at my ankles.
“Hey Liger, Al was here just a minute ago, wasn’t he?”
Holding out his palm, a holographic projection rolled back the clock with a still image of Alphonse from Liger’s point of view. In the background, a blur I recognized to be myself crept up from behind the barrier frame by frame, revealing what had happened. For a single frame, Al’s nose jettisoned blood, and in the next, a ghost of motion sailed through the door at speeds Liger’s recording failed to capture.
“Ya see that, Revi? Al’s probably long gone! You Let go of my leg already, it’s not like Liger is going to get hot and bothered, he’s completely undisturbed.”
“That would not be a truthful representation of my present sentiments. I am disturbed by your disregard for decency and lack of-.”
“You’re not helping the situation! Look, Revi, Mr. Prude over there is so oblivious to eye candy- you couldn’t force-feed him with it. If you hesitate long enough, Al’s gonna come back and ask questions!”
“And to what would he be inquiring?” Liger tilted his head curiously.
“Ugh, Revi, I take back what I said; you’re a wimp! Let… go… of… me!” I grunted, attempting to pry myself out of the stall, but Revi wouldn’t budge.
“WAAAAAHAAAHAAAA~! NOOOOO!!!” She shrieked, her eyes pouring tears at a rate equal if not greater than the shower head.
Oh, well there’s an idea…
As I took the shower-head from its holder, I dialed the pressure to its maximum before aiming it towards Revi’s head.
“WAIT-WAIT!”
But it was too late, far too late indeed. With my patience unraveling at the seams, I leaned over Revi awkwardly in order to flip on the water, but before I could do so, a warm sensation crept over the foot I had been balancing on.
“Revi…” I wrenched my head downwards in disgust. “Did you just pee on my foot…?
Without giving her time to answer, I hammered the faucet lever to full heat, blasting Revi with such force, she fell on to her backside. While I continued to chase after Revi’s face with the water jet, I then held out my arm towards Liger who had been passive throughout the entire ordeal.
Silently protesting my demand, Liger remained still up until I snatched the towel and took my leave. On the way through the changing room, I found Al, poised as if he had been bitten by a venomous snake.
“What? It’s like you’ve never seen a girl naked before, but we both know that’s a lie.”
Utilizing his towel for defense, Al continued to stammer as I pushed past him, but before I did so, I gave him a quick jab to the stomach for good measure.
“W-What was that for?” He grumbled, leaning against a set of lockers to prevent himself from doubling over. “You damn near knocked the wind out of me!”
“Just in case Ora asks any questions, you’ll have proof of a bruise that I didn’t let you stare too long. That and… aren’t I supposed to flail wildly shrieking like an idiot when someone sees my birthday suit?”
“Good point…” He groaned. “Damn you hit way above your weight, remind me not to get on your bad side.”
“Hmm, we’re even now, but I’ll be sure to give you fair warning. Enjoy your bath with your robot pal, you two seem to be chumming it up.”
“W-We’re what’ing it up?” Al cringed.
It seemed he misheard me, but I had already elbowed my way through the door. Time to find Izumi, and get a bite to eat – I’m freakin’ starving!
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...Else!
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That’s funny, I could have sworn someone called my name?
Then, without warning, a blur I recognized to be the wailing ball of fur I had left behind burst through the door.
“I-hate-you-I-hate-you-I-hate-youuuuu~!” Revi squealed, her towel fluttering like a cape as she bolted towards the elevator at the far end of the hall.
“Al, you okay?” I called back, peeking my head into the changing room.
Sprawled out and covered in discarded towels, I found Al rolling his head about in a daze.
“Th-hell’s gotten into him?” He slurred. “Did you have shomthing to do with it?”
“Maybe… probably… I guess you were right to be afraid, hehe~.”
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