A light breeze blew through the flowering trees. A bird sang somewhere hidden among the branches, causing another one to also sing in response. The gardens felt quiet, peaceful, and pointless.

After leaving the castle, John and Athalia hopped into a carriage and came to the city gardens. The place was open to the public but, considering that it was located in the richer part of town, only nobles and other people of note ever visited.

"Look at those." Athalia pointed at a bed of white-stemmed blue flowers. "Those are Holy Friddas, a special breed of roses that only bloom at this time of the year. They're named after the goddess Friddila. She doesn't have a following here in Gwynland, but Her cult is the most widespread one at Silberwalder. It's said that the blue petals represent Friddila's vast knowledge while the white stem represents Her pure body. Beautiful, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are," John responded, trying his best to sound interested. It's not that he didn't appreciate how much she seemed to care for him. It's just that, with hm worried about breaking through, he couldn't bring himself to care about some flowers. "I wasn't aware that you were so informed about flowers."

"Because I'm not. I only know of it from my wedding ceremony, and that's because the one who gifted it to me made sure to point out how precious they were. You probably know more about plants and wildlife than I do."

"Maybe, but the ones I know would be considered weeds in here." John looked around at the colorful flowers and carefully trimmed trees. He couldn't identify a single one of them.

"Let's look for the gardeners and ask them about it." Athalia grasped John's hand and pulled him along as she walked through the gardens. While she claimed to be looking for the gardeners, she stopped to admire everything of note that they came across.

In a different situation, John might've enjoyed this leisurely stroll, but now it felt like a waste of time. Every time they stopped to look at some tree from somewhere far away, or colorful flower, it felt like he was wasting time that could be better used to cultivate. And, of course, they also came across other visitors, who all made sure to stop and greet the earl's wife.

"Isn't it nice to take a break every once in a while? Seriously, you and Hagen need to get your heads off of work. It's like you're both trying to work yourselves into an early grave."

Now that she mentioned, John realized how little he'd seen Hagen these last few days. "Why is he so busy? Did something happen?"

"Nothing of the sort, it's just Hagen being his usual self. He's always been like that, even before assuming the throne." Athalia glanced at the surroundings, seemingly to make sure that there were no prying ears nearby. "I guess that has to do with why he and your father got along so well, but even Jonathan had fun every once in a while. Hagen's idea of fun is to study charts or something like that, while yours seems to be getting injured in the morning or burying yourself in the library for the rest of the day."

"I need to do well at the squire's tourney. There are little more than three years left for me to turn twenty."

Athalia placed a hand on his shoulder. "You're going to do fine. I think that, when she was still a squire, not even Marleya pushed herself as hard as you do."

"But Marleya isn't a half-bred, is she?" It came out much more confrontational than he wanted. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that this whole wait to breaking through has been stressing me. It has been two years already and I feel stagnated as a warrior. Not only that, but I'm also still just an 8TH level Mage. At this rhythm, I may not be able to become an Archmage before the tourney."

"There's more to life than the tourney or even the academy, John. You act like you're in a race against time. Every once in awhile we need to stop and smell the flowers." She plucked a red rose from the ground and held it under his nose. "Cultivation may be important, but there are things far more worthwhile than that. Friendship, family, love. These are things worthy of pushing yourself to the limit for."

John nodded, fully aware that he had none of those. He had no friends in here and, other than the usual banter with Neina, he barely talked to anyone at the training grounds. Love was even less likely. Thinking of family made him recall his mother, and how he could've helped prevent her death if he had been stronger at the time.

It didn't matter how much he tried, his thoughts always returned to the matter of strength which, in turn, made him anxious at how he still hadn't become a Crusader yet. He did his best to focus on something else.

Other than his mother, the only family he had left would be Jonathan, imprisoned for years due to honor as Hagen put it. Stupidity would be one of the words chosen by John. There were more than a few instances when John had to do some unsavory actions for the greater good. He wasn't proud of them, but whatever he did, his actions didn't change who he was. Accepting a political marriage in the off chance of protecting one's love would be the correct course of action for John. His father seemingly couldn't understand such a thing.

So, in the end, he had a dead mother, a fool for a father, and everyone else from his father's side of the family would have John killed if they knew of his existence. That's why John considered only Dene as his family. And now she was gone. "Yeah, I don't have any of those."

"Of course you do," Athalia said with a gentle smile. "Me and Hagen, we're your friends. And, even though I didn't bring you to this world, I still consider you a son."

John's eyes widened in genuine surprise. He tried to come up with an answer but he couldn't find the right of words to thank her. In the end, he settled for just, "Thanks."

"You're welcome. That's it for friends and family. Now, for the matter of love, maybe it's time for you to think of getting married. I've seen how that girl from the training grounds looks at you. The one who's always wearing the blue headband."

"Neina?" John asked with a laugh. "I doubt that."

"Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. She's a few years older, but that shouldn't be much of a problem. You'll have children of your own in no time."

"Let's just change the subject, please."

Athalia laughed. "Just promise me one thing then. If you're so set on your training, then at least be more careful, all right?"

John looked back at her. "All right."