I end going to sleep on the cold floor in the alleyway exhausted from the day's events, I crawl up into a ball and fall into the loving embrace of sleep. Until the loving embrace decides to give horrific nightmares, just like every other loving figure in my life.

I stand alone in a vast room covered in dried blood with skinned human carcasses Hanged up by barbed hooks piercing through their bodies as they sway to an unknown rhythm. Looking around in apprehension I try to back away from the carcasses but everywhere I go is filled flayed Human bodies blocking any escape, their dead eyes following me. Then my stomach starts to growl in hunger wanting to consume their flesh, I cry out and close my eyes, tiring to ignore the hunger. A ripping sound tears through the air, I open my eyes to see a mirror image of myself, but a giant mouth with crooked yellow fangs coming out of the stomach, devouring the flayed Human carcasses.

“Ah!" I yell out in surprise and fear but then it slowly turns to look at me. I freeze as it finishes turning and slowly stalks towards me. Try as I might I can't move, frantically looking around I discover that the carcasses have grabbed me, stopping me from escaping, their teeth clacking in what appears to be laughter, as it slowly gets closer. Unable to move due to the claw-like, bloodied hands I can only watch.

 With each step, the mutated mouth grows spreading across more and more of the body until there is nothing left but a bottomless pit with arms and legs. I can do nothing but stare as it approaches, its arms and legs start to bend back at unnatural angles as scars appear and dance across the skin forming faces that scream in silent agony. Rasping laughter fills the room as the fleyed humans become hysterical their eyes bulging and teeth clattering. Then it's upon me and I stare into the abyss as it swallows me whole.

Next, I am in a grand hall where I am stuck half facing a mirror that covers one of the walls, In the other half of my vision is a slowly approaching Paul. He slowly advances and when he is five steps away from me the mirror changes to me approaching the cat. The me in the mirror is in sync with the approaching Paul, and the frozen me with the cat. Once Paul is next to me he starts to stroke me and licks my face while he takes the clothes off of my frozen body while the me in the mirror copies Paul's actions to the cat.

Fear and rage fill me as I strain to move but I am frozen. I try harder until a mouth busts from my stomach and rips Paul's head off.

I wake in a cold sweat, gagging and heart racing. Moving my hand over my heart I feel the amulet. Enraged I rip it off and throw it as far as I can in disgust. Slowing my breathing my heart rate starts to drop and I start to think about the dreams. [Shit that was fucked up. It appears my subconscious is trying to tell me something in a not so subtle way. At least the message was clear; The hunger from before, I let it be all consuming (No pun intended), it made me lose control.

I don't like not being in control. But it is part of me, no it is me and I am it, but that does not mean I can lose control. We will live in sync.] Unexpectedly I feel the sludge serge inside of me as if in protest but I forcefully restrain it, for now.

[Also I can't betray people's or animal's trust, I will not end up like that sack of shit Paul or the fuckers in the church. I am sorry cat I will name you, what the fuck do you name a cat? It was cute and fluffy so I will name it…Fluffy, super creative I know. And in honor of you Fluffy I swear I will/can not let the hunger consume me again nor shall I betray people or animals trust less I end up like Paul.]

 After making the oath to myself I decided to start my newly appointed morning routine as I am already awake and going back to sleep is not appealing right now. Setting a slow pace as to not get worn out too quickly, I start with push-ups. Starting the workout I go into thought about what should be prioritized and what I want to do with my life.

[First for survival I need: a steady income or source of food and water. Second: I need knowledge of what I am, general knowledge of my location and my surroundings. The church never taught the servants this even in the Saturday lessons, their teachings went more on the lines of, church good everything else is not so good and everything bad that happens is because of demons or people not praying enough. Although now with knowledge of the brainwashing and raping I am having second thoughts on this.

Third: I need strength so I can take care of myself. My daily routine should help with physical strength. Hunting and absorbing animals characteristics will help with their utility. Now if I could learn more about spells like Paul used maybe I could fight with them.

I can't have a place to stay or the church will find me even if I change my face. The church has spirit identification gems in certain parts in the church so it stands to reason they have a portable form that could be used to find me. With that said they would expect me to try and leave the city or be as far away from the church as possible so I will try and stay low inside the city for the time being.]

With the order of my survival prioritized I begin to think about what I want to do with my life now that I am free.

[Well what I really want to slowly tear apart each and every loyal member to the church for what they have done and most likely will do in the future. Hahaha, I will shove my fist so far up the churches ass I will make it into a puppet haha. But while that does seem satisfying I am free now and I don't want my life to continue to revolve around the church, I want to see the world and experience all it has to offer and enjoy it to the fullest. I am sure I can make both goals aline, I will just have to get stronger as I see the world.]

In the end, it took me an hour to do my morning workout and it was exhausting. Now I am scouting around trying to find a market where I can sell the cigars, the only things of worth that I want to part with. Thinking of my valuables I look down at the storage ring and frown [it stands out far too much but how can I hide it?]. After a bit of thought, a bit of skin starts to grow over the ring on my finger hiding it from view. On my travels, I will keep an eye out of a library believing that it would be the best source of information.