Chapter 184 – Journal Entry 34: Pandora’s Ballad 4

The red flicker came about earlier than usual. This scared most of the islanders to the point that Pandora appeased them, vowing to protect them to the very end. The villagers trusted Pandora. I felt like I would have trusted her too but if it wasn’t for Elena and I’s suspicion then we would have been convinced as well.

Since the Island was in quite a turmoil with warp gates appearing everywhere. Elena had to go and take care of the golem guards. She left along with earthen mates while at the same time telling me if I wanted to join the fight. I refused out of the vow that I will never hurt anyone again if I could. Elena didn’t force me and went away with the earthen mates. I was worried about my field so I checked on it. While I was checking, Miss Leona who is still staying on the island approached me. She was planning to stay for a while but with the red flicker has been rather rough. She decided to retreat back to Soren mainly because of her duty as an envoy of her nation. Although there was regret in her heart that she wasn’t able to say anything to Grom, her nation always come first, and with resolute she bid her goodbye, leaving along with the ship that is going to Sardis City.

I saw that she didn’t want to leave but her loyalty was quite applauding.

After checking my fields I went back to my house. I stared at my palms for a while before taking a breath. I could probably take care of the warp gates but at the moment, if I take action then I would have to say goodbye to this name. I hate fighting. And as day’s passes, I could feel that sooner or later my abilities would allow me to remember my memories and true name. It scares me, but even so having two memories that have clashing ideals and morals is already a bother.

I could not take it anymore. I need to get out. So I went to the Inn. I ordered some food and tried to relax like the others who are concerned of the red flicker. I can see that their faces express their fear. When I listen to the others they mention of how the frontlines are crumbling. With the seal surrounding the dark elven lands wavering, it wouldn’t be sooner or later that the higher beings contained in that land, would be starting their rampage. The Hero of the Ancient Mechanical Sword, the Witch Regina, and the War Maiden of the Kingdom of Lin and her adopted daughter could not do such thing as hold them back.

The Divines are also not responding simply because of an irregularity. Despite all the technology that has been going on. It isn’t sure if it would be enough to repel the higher beings that stand above any others.

The world was set to the path of doom. And the Hero that could stop it was nowhere to be found.

I found it extremely displeasing how cruel the world can be. Here I am, trying to be a farmer yet the world would soon end. If that doesn’t make anyone depress then congratulations, you are one tough nut to crack. I felt terrible. I couldn’t endure it so I bought wine in the bar. Odette told me that it still day but since I told her that I want to drink it alone in my house. She allowed me to buy wine. Then, I brought the wine over to my house. There I just sat on the floor, drinking. It makes me relieved, and as I was drinking I heard a knock. I told the one knocking to enter and there I saw Elena entering with a bit of weary appearance. I asked her what’s wrong.

“So many warp gates...the earthen mates have suffered quite a casualty.”

“I see...”

I couldn’t speak any more words. I was silent and casual about it. I know that I could do something yet my cowardice holds me back. I was confused, weakened, and despite the perfect reasons I couldn’t still do it.

I am Ramiel now. I don’t ever want to change that. I just want to live normally like my father did. He wasn’t a hero or a knight, but he had the widest and biggest back that I witnessed in my life. He was dependable, and his infectious optimism made me continue forward every time I feel myself drowning in the dark.

I remember him now and because of it that I am now more eager to live normally.

“Hey...I wonder if the world will end.”

“I don’t know.”

“Me too, well if it did then we wouldn’t be able to know if Miss Pandora is up to something fishy. And I wouldn’t be able to make golems or get married.”

“Well, want to get married then?”

“Excuse me?”

“Would you like me to repeat it again?”

“Eh...”

“Heh...”

I know that my appearance is above average so there should be no worry. She didn’t resist me holding her back then and I could her dilate her eyes every time she sees me. We get along well, and she was easy and fun to be with. I don’t mind wedding her.

“This is too fast?”

“We can work that out...”

“I have no idea what to say.”

“Don’t think hard about it...well if the world does end then might as well marry me.”

“Hmm...”

She was actually thinking about it. The way she folds her arms, tilting her head to the left while trying to come up with an answer makes her quite adorable. Ah, how sinful of me to have such a liking to blondes. Even the girl who I see in my memories was blonde. I am hopeless.

“Gee, just relax okay? Besides, I still have to win your favor right?”

“That’s what you want to use my favor for!?”

“Obviously...you may be lacking in the bust area but you are lovely Elena...”

“You words are sweet yet I find it irritating at the same time.”

“Ha ha ha ha, forget about it for now.”

I offered my wine to Elena. She raised her brow as if suspecting me on trying anything but I comforted and told her that I won’t do anything that will make her hate me. She told me that I shouldn’t do anything. And took the wine I offered. At the moment, I truly wanted a companion to share my sorrows over. And she is perfect for it.