Chapter 178 – Journal Entry 28: Old Love Blues

I found myself accepting my new self. The day later, I was about to start my work in the field again only to see Miss Leona, who has been busy convincing the islanders around Fernery Island to have the elvens stay in one of the many islands in case the end comes for the elven lands. Miss Leona seems tired at her prospect, she looks weary and exhausted. I could not help but approach her, greet her a good morning.

“Oh, good morning...”

She answered in quite a listless daze, she turned her eyes to the sky, her yellow green hair swaying along with the ocean wind. I scratch my cheeks as I tried wondering what she is so weary about, yet somehow I couldn’t just leave her alone.

“Is there anything wrong, you look weary, tired and listless...should I add more to that?”

“No, I am fine. It is just that I did not expect him to be alive...”

“Who is alive?”

“Grom, I did not expect that after hundred years, I will be able to see his face again, I was supposed to have accepted that he is dead, yet here he is, living in this island, alive and well.”

“So you are trying to say to me, that Grom was the guy, who you decided to forget in favor of the Elven Kingdom?”

“Yes. He was supposed to be dead, but somehow he is still alive, kicking and with a new name too.”

“A new name?”

“Yes, he was named Ramiel a hundred years ago...just like yours.”

“What?”

I could not help but yelp in surprise, my name was similar to Grom? Then wouldn’t that mean that the guy in the memorial, who perished fighting the one that tried to kill the king of Gann hundred years ago, was Grom? Holy, I could not believe it.

“So he was named Ramiel...that’s odd...why is he named different then?”

“I have no idea too, maybe throughout the years he decided to change his name, but according to Elena, the Mistress named him. Who knows?”

“I see, so does he remember you?”

“Partly, his memories are rather jumbled, however. He has cognitive dissonance.”

“Is that so?”

I stood near Miss Leona pondering about Grom’s jumbled memory. That’s really odd, to think that I was able to meet the original owner of the name, yet he somehow could not remember his name too. Not to mention that Miss Leone apparently has affection for him once upon a time.

“So do you love him?”

“Time passes quite well for humans, but as you can see it is far different to us elvens. We perceive time with great length, thus a hundred years only feels like ten years, and the memories of our adventure in Tinople, and how he saved me there still echoes in mind. So I don’t know...”

“Is that so?”

Sounds complicated her situation that is. She seems like she loves Grom, but at the same time, she has the look of a person that wanted to forget already. Miss Leona seems like a person that chooses her country more than love, hence she is here in the first place so she can negotiate the future of the elvens.

I kind of want to help her, but remembering Grom’s condition, I wonder if I should do so? Right now, I can surely say that Grom is not in the right mind, he seems to be only interested in living quietly, following Miss Pandora around like a good servant.

“Miss Leona, do you want to achieve your love or something?”

“No, I am not that desperate, but if I would to describe it, then it would be like finding peace in of past regret. I made a promise to visit him once a long time ago, during the time we separated in Lugenstan, and for me to break that promise, is quite a regret of mine.”

“If you would be allowed to choose again, then would choose otherwise?”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

Miss Leona said straightly without any hesitation, her will to protect her nation is as firm as an oak tree, her love for her nation was deeply rooted and she wouldn’t hesitate at all. I could see that despite regretting her inability to fulfill her promise, Miss Leona doesn’t regret choosing her nation over Grom.

“This is really troublesome. I have no idea what to tell you.”

“If it wasn’t then I wouldn’t be on this stone, sitting wearily on what to do?”

“True, so what are you going to do about it, Miss Leona?”

“I have no clue, it would have been far easier if Grom would talk, but it seems that he won’t even speak a word unless it is the mistress, they are rather too close, are they even truly in a platonic relationship? It is weird that a platonic relationship would involve her snuggling on him, sleeping side by side while sitting, as if they had no care for the world, isn’t that just weird? I could not believe it—“

“You’re mumbling...”

“I am sorry.”

She put her fingers over her mouth to stop herself. Miss Leona looked saddened, her eyes tracing the swaying grass, dancing as the cold gust from the ocean moves them. A clock ticks in my head, I curled my mouth, lick the top of my teeth, smacked my lips as I thought what to do.

“It looks like I am wasting your time.”

“No, no, it was my fault for interrupting your alone time.”

“Not really my alone time, but I am glad that you are concerned, it makes me glad somehow.”

Miss Leona smiled quite depressingly.

“Well, it is time for me to go back. Tisza should be waiting for me. See you around, I will be staying on this island for a while, I will be going back and forth here and to Soren, I have quite a lot to work on here, and I suspect that it would take quite a while to convince the Mistress.”

“I see, see you around then.”

With a nod, Miss Leona stood up. She stretches legs back to the Inn, still with her head looking either down or up to the sky, I am concern that she would bump into someone, but I guess there is nothing much that I could say. So I can only go back to my work, I still have to water a field after all.