Molecular Gastromancer has reached level 2!

Congratulations Liam, you have unlocked a new Class Skill.

Gastromancy rank: Beginner [1]

Gastromancy - The principal study of chemical reactions and magical interactions between elements composing food products. This foundational knowledge skill reflects an understanding of how to successfully manipulate and alter food on a micro level with the application of magic. With this skill, you will now be able to learn spells in this family tree!

Kill. Eat. Consume

Liam’s head snapped back as a flash of information struck him, rendering him temporarily dumbed to the outside world. When he regained his senses—the fire consuming the wooden shack had only grown—the blaze was now far too hot to get anywhere near the house and check inside. Though from this distance, there did appear to be a few key differences between it and regular wood. Namely, its grain structure appeared abnormal.

Most important than that was the gift of new knowledge. This world didn’t operate on pure logical constraints. Every living thing here had miniature particles of magic that were pulling the string and converting chemicals to facilitate processes that relied on actual base-level physics. This ‘magic particle’ was a sort of stopgap. A form of energy that held unique properties in how it interacted with other things.

It blew his mind. Not only did the magic seem to alter things profoundly on such a small scale, but through this unique particle, things like the living gummy bear were possible.

More surprising was that the magic seemed to have a will of its own. A way it applied different and directed energy or chemical processes. He didn’t understand it completely. But the basic idea seemed certain in his head; everything here worked off some combination of biology and magic. That was unless this H.E.L.L. system had just lied to him about a fundamental truth of Candyland.

It’d also provided direct proof it could alter his brain in a tangible and dangerous way.

Liam began to hyperventilate. Did I lose anything? His girlfriend’s name was Jenny—they had a dog, and they lived out of an apartment. He could still remember his parents, his boring job, his crappy car. It seemed all there. But that was the true fear, how could he know what it took away if he had no way of recording it down? It wasn’t even possible to fully document everything, even if he had a piece of paper to begin to write down his memories and chronicle his experience.

This train of thought was bringing him to the brink of madness.

He needed to make an assumption. If this ‘class’ relied on wisdom and intellect, and the system seemed so dead set against him obtaining it, then out of all of his presented options, this was the most likely option that let him retain his wits. It was a dangerous assumption, but the only way to maintain his sanity at this point was to conclude that any personality or memory altering would be minimal, or absent. There wasn’t an easy way to verify, and he still intended to conduct tests at the first chance, but until then, there was no point in driving himself crazy.

With that, Liam took stock of the situation. The wood was a lost cause. As much as he’d love to figure out how much it was composed of real wood—despite the chalky outward chocolate-like appearance—that wasn’t an option unless he wanted to risk getting burned.

Instead, he focused on what he could deal with.

Liam struggled to drag both the headless gingerbread man’s corpse and the mad gingerbread man’s corpse away from the fire. Including their gear. They weighed a surprising amount for what he’d thought at first glance to be a human-sized cookie.

With a careful eye, he stripped away the leather-like substance the armored one was wearing, and then the cloth of the other.

Running his hand over it the green fabric, it didn’t appear to be any sort of candy he was familiar with. Not quite a linen texture either, but a fibrous material that was weaved together to form a scratchy but durable material. The leather-like armor on the other hand felt waxy to the touch. Almost as if it were coated in something, but scratching it with the blade of the peppermint axe revealed it was just naturally waxy.

He had to know. Liam brought a strip of the leather-like material to his mouth and took a bite.

It had a similar flavor to black licorice, with an unpleasant and overpowering aftertaste of salt. Chewy to the point of making his jaw begin to ache before he spat it out. Difficult to eat, but probably still edible. Of course.

Everything here is so fucked. Liam rubbed his eyes, with his test now finished. The licorice armor would fit him, and it’d be better to wear it than his torn clothing. It’d be far more protective when he came across the next denizen of this hellscape, even if its previous wearer had proved it wasn’t perfect protection. He didn’t need to taste the green-woven fabric to guess that it too, was some strange mutation of candy.

The sword—appeared made of melted sugar. But… treated somehow? Not as brittle as he’d expect, but Liam withheld testing the strength too severely, not wanting to lose the weapon and being stuck with just the shorter reach of the handaxe. Liam took a long time to consider the different materials of the gingerbread men’s equipment, trying to piece together how they were constructed.

Peppermint Handaxe [Quality: Common]: A simple tool made for the purpose of harvesting candy cane trees, and chocolate firs. And splitting logs of either! This tool is of average craftsmanship, constructed from a sharpened candy cane and bound to a biscuit stick with a strip of licorice wolf hide.

It murdered. Murder. Murder.

Sugar-Glass Sword [Quality: Common]: A standard straight sword and relied upon by the denizens of Candyland, forged from melted sugar cold-treated with honey-nectar and cured with rock candy salt to allow a degree of flexibility and strength. This is a useful weapon for any would-be adventurer.

Licorice Wolf Hide Armor [Quality: Common]: Made from the skin of a harvested liquorice wolf, this is a well-made and cared-for piece of armor covering the chest and shoulders. Offers modest protection from slashing and piercing.

We love you, Liam. Love us.

Liam rubbed at his eyes the sudden flash of blue caught him by surprise. It seemed his detailed examination prompted the H.E.L.L system to provide additional information. Useful. But, could he be sure some of these details weren’t lies?

He wielded the sugar-glass sword carefully, kneeling next to the decapitated gingerbread man. Liam took a few steadying breaths. He was about to cross a line. A point in this world where he couldn’t turn back. But in order to understand this new place and the evils within, he needed to do this. Slowly, he brought the sharp edge of the sword against the gingerbread man’s cookie crust skin.

Then he made an incision. He wasn’t a biology major but had a fair share of biologist friends who loved to talk about their job, not to mention committing a dissection or two in high school.

But slowly cutting into and examining the innards of a candy-based life form was a uniquely horrible experience. The smell was an unpleasant rotting sweet—past the crust exterior, the insides of this thing were both similar and different from a normal human. Circulatory systems, stomachs, even a skeletal structure composed of some extra-thickened material. The ‘meat’ of it had the consistency of tofu. As he tore into the gingerbread man, Liam found himself coated in the sickly-sweet corn syrup like blood.

In the end, Liam drew a few conclusions. Functionally, these creatures—at least the gingerbread men—worked in a similar way to humans. Needing to intake food, utilize the air for some sort of circulatory process, it even had a gum-like brain connected to a nervous system. They worked together to make this thing function

Would it all work on a biological level in his world? Liam highly doubted it. He had a basis in organic chemistry, and couldn’t piece together how something could theoretically function with what he saw. Therefore, the magic must have been working on a molecular level to convert or provide aid for it all to let this monstrosity survive.

Or he’d just gone insane. And none of this was real, and thus trying to diagnose it with hard science was a fruitless effort.

But, he did know after the experiment, that these creatures would die like a human. As if his spear hadn’t confirmed it—but they had a heart. A small gummy-membraned orb in their chests. A skull with that gum-like brain. These things could probably suffer ‘blood loss.’ And that was all important information. But something was missing.

He’d seen the insides of the gummy bears he’d killed earlier. They were no different from the gummy bears he was used to. While this gingerbread man had a body that appeared similar to the gingerbread men of his world, inside was a completely different story.

You have gained +1 intelligence!

Gastromancy has advanced to rank: Beginner [2]

Become us, become us, join us.

Liam braced for his brain to be scrambled again—but no. No sudden spark of overwhelming knowledge. Just a rather firm confirmation of some of the thoughts he’d drawn about this alien biology and life cycle. A single step closer to understanding how it all interacted.

Or maybe just another step further down the path of madness. In short order, Liam equipped the licorice armor, the vibrant purple blade, and belted the peppermint axe to his side. He felt, well, a bit more optimistic about his chances now. No magic, but things were falling in place a bit more. Yet something still bothered him. That gingerbread man recognized him as a human. As if it knew what they were. Which meant, somewhere, in this horror land, there had to be others like him.

Other humans.

He wasn’t alone in hell. Did they all have the same ‘game?’ And were all of these candy creatures out for their blood?

With the burning building set at his back, Liam left the two bodies to decompose into chocolate, raw sugar, or however the hell they rotted away. He needed to find water, then he’d try to find other humans. Only after that would he begin to plot his escape.