The kid didn’t even move to attack Liam. No, he stared, not blinking at all. Those too-big-eyes were glossy and unreal. Liam barely even read the box flooding his vision. For one, the annoying comic sans was an eyesore. Second, he wasn’t sure if it was a trick. But as the creepy child didn’t move, he decided that maybe he afford to split his attention. Besides, it wasn’t as if he could defend himself from whatever that thing threw out if it chose to.

Experience 150/100!

You have met the criteria for [Level] with recent [Death]!

Unable to assign [Level]! No class picked!

H.E.L.L initiating welcome package!

Right, of course. It was hell. Yeah. That all made sense. From the creepy kid to the candy cane forest to this weird box. All some form of elaborate horrible torture.

That seemed about right.

The boxes suddenly flooded his vision—one opening after another, then closing as fast as they could open. And an almost blinding series of blue flashes until it settled on a single box.

Welcome, Liam!

We’ve been waiting for you. We’ve been waiting for you. We’ve been waiting…

For optimal play experience, you’ve been allotted a choice of classes to make the game fair! Under careful and precise evaluation of your very existential worth, physical attributes, and developed skills, the H.E.L.L system has narrowed down your class options to three! Pick wisely. The wrong choice could be deadly!

These messages really aren’t helping. Liam looked over the text box twice, before it vanished. He didn’t wanna play this game at all. But there wasn’t an option. The kid’s rotting teeth squicked him out, and he could’ve sworn he hadn’t seen the child breathe. Dream, nightmare, or hell. One thing was certain.

Liam had to find a way out.

Class: Confectionary Magician

The most joyful type of person in all of Candyland! They dominate the will of the weak, force them into subservience, alter their appearance, and then sell them to others! Doesn’t that sound lovely? Of course, it does! This class relies on the [Willpower] and [Ego] attributes. Only the most domineering of Candyland citizens can master the skills of the Confectionary! Do you have what it takes, Liam?

Do you? Do you? Do…

Class: Molecular Gastromancer

A dull and knowledge-centric individual. They have no friends and spend all their time in labs, locked away from the joy of Candyland. They utilize science and magic to form concoctions. How dull and uninspired. This class relies on [Intelligence] and [Willpower] attributes. Only the most depressing and pointless Candyland citizens chose to engage with the toolset of a Gastromancer.

Not this one. Don’t do it. We want you, Liam. We want…

Class: Sugarbarian

Why not toss all that silly knowledge of your life out the window! These strong individuals eschew any intellect or reasoning for pure and complete power and strength! Through the consumption of sugar, you can gradually rot away all the useless parts of your brain and turn them into raw might. This class relies on the [Vigor] and [Strength] attributes. No one is a more heroic or inspiring hero in Candyland than a Sugarbarian devoid of all logic and filled with PURE BLOOD LUST.

Murder, murder, murder…

Two of those sounded soul-corruptively awful, and that wasn't even considering the fact that the Confectionary class implied the usage of slavery. Liam didn’t want to rely on magic. He had no clue what that even meant in this nightmare. What if he tied himself to it too closely and then had it backfire on him? The Sugarbarian literately mentioned rotting away his own intelligence and logic. Which, well. Maybe that could help with this place. If he couldn’t think and lost his sense of self, would it be so bad? He pictured him, high on sugar and roaming with pure hate and murder like a wild animal. Yeah. Nevermind. Horrible idea.

Then, well, there were those messages at the end. Yeah, he supposed whatever they were recommending didn’t bode well for him to pick. Perhaps the option wasn’t that hard.

The word science was present in Molecular Gastromancer. The one thing he might be able to rely on in this alien plane. A little bit of comfort to keep him sane as he dealt with whatever this was. If anything, the ‘Hell System’ telling him not to choose that one sealed the deal.

He focused on that option.

You have selected: Molecular Gastromancer.

Why scorn us, Liam? We love you. We love—

Allocating levels. Generating H.E.L.L. Modular Statistical Tracking Sheet.

Please wait a few moments while it loads! Thank you for your patience!

The boy suddenly stirred from its frozen position, that grin sinking away as it tilted its head and regarded him.

“I forgot to mention! I bet you want to know what the prize is?”

“I uh. Yeah, sure, why not.” Liam said, trying to keep his cool. Those messages were starting to dig under his skin. The fact that his head was now… connected? To whatever the hell was sending those messages brought horrible existential questions to mind. What degree of control did it have over him? What did these classes even mean? If that Sugarbarian alluded to a gradual loss of himself, would they all lead to the same results?

Would he even know when he began to lose himself as a person and became possessed? Was that how this worked? He didn’t trust anything. Despite its almost childlike surface nature, a harsh and profound evil seemed to dwell behind everything he’d seen so far. But he was just one guy without any real way to defend himself against this impossible world.

He had to test it somehow. If he got a moment alone, devise some method of experimentation to track his thoughts. He could start a journal. Only… With what paper?

“If you win… I’ll give you one wish!” The kid gave him a thumbs up.

Maybe I can find some fiber out there; worst-case scenario, I can devise a temporary solution based on some of these—

Wait? What did that demon say? His eyes snapped to the kid.

“A wish?”

“Yep! Anything you want! All you have to do is murder the five Rulers!”

“Anything I want?”

“Yes! I said that didn’t I?” The kid smiled again. A gummy worm slid out of his mouth, flopping onto the cavern floor and squirming there.

“If I wanted to go home?”

“What a boring wish! But yes! If you won the game, then you could choose that as your wish!”

Liam stood quietly and considered that. The kid called it murder; could he go through with killing another living thing? To the best of his knowledge, those gummy bears hadn’t been sapient, and neither had the gumdrop troll. There wasn’t any evidence that he’d discover contrary results. Aside from this kid, who he was sure was a demon. But that posed the question, could he even kill whatever these things were, even if he were willing? That kid had mentioned a ‘Chocolate Colossus.’

I have far too little information for now. But this might be my way out of here. “Okay. I understand. And after I… win this game. How will I find you for my wish?”

“Don’t be silly! I’ll come to you. I’m always watching Liam.”

He shivered in his spot. The gummy worm at the boy’s feet began to dig into the loose rock candy cavern floor below the creepy child.

[H.E.L.L. Modular Statistical Tracking Sheet has finished generating!]

Name: Liam Holland

Race: Human

Class: Molecular Gastromancer [Level 1] [Experience 50/200]

Health: 100/100 | Mana: 120/120

Attributes:

Vigor: 10 | Strength: 8 | Dexterity: 11

Intelligence: 12 | Willpower: 11 | Ego: 8

Sin: ???

Skills:

N/A

Spells:

N/A

That last attribute was alarming, but then again. This whole place was. “I thought I was supposed to get spells… or magic?” Liam asked, trying to scan his memory; he could’ve sworn the class had mentioned something about that. He’d glossed over it in favor of maintaining his sanity and not rereading those horrible little messages over and over again. But this sheet it gave him seemed rather blank.

None of the numbers made sense to him, nor did he have a way to extrapolate their meaning. The kid grinned wider at him.

“The game wouldn’t be fun if we gave you everything, Liam!”

Right. Of course.

“Are you ready to play?” the child asked, hopping foot to foot. Honestly, he’d rather be anywhere else than stuck in this dark cave with the spawn of horror. Liam nodded his head.

The kid snapped, and everything went white.