Another one of those skinny-armed Bugaboo Bears jumped out of a dark alley, and Elise gut-punched him to stop him dead in his tracks before he could grapple her. She raised her bat over her head and brought it down upon him, striking twice before he died.

His blood splattered on the weathered and mossy walls surrounding them. The ruins grew bigger and more prevalent the closer they got to West Creek Town, and now the two-storey high remnants formed straight corridors with only narrow alleys between them. Many had collapsed or looked like they would come down on us if we would as much lean against them, but there were plenty of ruins that seemed in a fine enough condition to walk into or hide a monster den.

The place was a stark contrast with the farmlands we came from, but according to Livia the latter were rare pockets of cleared out ruins or old city parks, while the ruins covered most of the map. Even most villages and hamlets were rural-looking yet surrounded on all sides by ruins, without farmers and the NPCs relying on food reserves.

Four seasons ago the Third Floor was extended by a single day due to extenuating circumstances, and half the NPCs lost their shit when their food ran out and they realised they had no idea where it normally came from.

Our group had started in the farmlands. These farmlands made for a good spot for those who were severely underlevelled or not that good at fighting, as enemies were sparse, spotted from far away and usually weak. Ben flipped off the sky when we were told this. These ruins should make for better grinding.

“They’re always male. Haven’t seen a female one yet.” Elise remarked, cleaning the blood off her bat with the bear’s dirty overalls.

“I become male too when transforming into this creature, it seems. There might not be any females.” Miho said.

“How does that even work?” Alexa wondered.

“It probably doesn’t. A lot of these creatures aren’t real species despite what their description says, they’re made up by some content creators and bioengineered into being.” Thomas said.

“Of course the overalls don’t appear on me.” Miho sighed as she transformed into the Bugaboo Bear and flashed the rest of us with her fully erect barbed penis. She waddled into one of the ruins for some privacy and looked through her newly attained skills before sighing and turning back. “Yeah, this form seems kind of useless, unless we want to rape an enemy to death for some reason. I for one vote against it.”

“Fucked up thing about that is, there’s probably an achievement for it too.” Elise remarked.

“Of course there will be.” Miho’s muffled voice said through the clothes she was putting back on. “Just got an achievement for changing my sex, and another one for flashing someone with both genders. I just hope these achievements won’t force me to pick an even weirder subclass on the 6th floor. I already dislike the downsides of my current class as it is, especially compared to what you guys got.”

Miho stepped back out again, decently dressed. Her appearance had changed drastically overnight, courtesy of Danny. While we were patiently waiting for the Skin Grafter to level his skills a bit before making us some Krutnik gear, we asked him if he could quickly make something for Miho and Alexa. The former because she had nothing magical to wear, and the latter to get more outfits.

Danny obliged eagerly enough, and when we woke up there were three new suits in our inventory. They weren’t the best items Danny could make, the stuff he made manually was leagues above the quick-craft stuff, but those took a lot of time and effort to make.

Alexa got two outfits, a light and a heavy one. Livia approved of the light version, but abhorred the heavy plate armour. This of course meant that Alexa immediately tried it on, and would probably use it whenever she could.

The heavy armour covered her entirely except for her face. And even that was only with an opened visor. Her outfit looked like a crude but sturdy suit of beast bone turned into heavy plate. Even after her outfit unlocked Super-Heavy Armour Proficiency, her movements were slow and clunky. She still loved it, planning to transform mid-air and cannonball onto a foe at least once.

The light armour was the opposite, an elegant dark grey outfit with sturdy pauldrons, greaves, shins and hip-plates. There was much thinner plate covering her torso and upper legs with some strips of chain armour making a short skirt, while leaving her biceps and knees exposed. It was a bit similar to Elise’s armour, in that it made sure to not obscure her boobs, arse and figure, though there were a lot less curves to expose here.

Alexa could still fly in this armour, though much slower. The armour made entirely out of Leaver chitin boosted her Dexterity, but not enough to overcome the flight penalties of wearing it. Still, her Dress-Up unlocked a skill called ‘Meep meep!’, making it a good suit of armour to wear while running away from enemies. She’d just be doing it on foot.

When I asked Danny about the design, he told me he had no control over it. He could only fill in the species and the size, which was a singular number. The average human was a 1.00, and Livia said that Alexa was a 0.12. The AI took care of the other sizes, making the thing fit like it was tailor-made.

Danny could make armour manually and not make pedo-magnet clothes like these, but it would take a while. With his class’s unlocked special skills, he could also stand at a crafting station, fill in a few requirements and just press ‘Craft’ like he did for these outfits. A loading bar would appear with a completed item popping out once it was done. And he had no control over those designs.

It was much faster, but took more materials. Where he could technically make the light suit out of a single Leaver and have material left to spare, the quick-craft option consumed a whole Leaver worth of chitin for every piece of armour he made. And that was for Alexa’s small frame, normal people armour consumed even more greedily. But right now he took that for what it was, focussing on levelling his skills with trash ingredients as fast as he could. His stuff wouldn’t grant any skills until he hit level 5 with his crafting, so he made nothing but non-magical armour with the occasional stat point added for the time being.

But Alexa’s outfits were just bonuses. We asked him if he could make something for Miho, who lacked any armour at all. As a druid she could wear fairly sturdy stuff, as long as it wasn’t made out of metal for some reason. She just didn’t have anything yet. We also described her embarrassing class ‘oversight’, and asked him to keep this in mind as he crafted something.

Danny ended up making a kind of splint armour for her: Chipped pieces of Krutnik chitin woven into rough cloth vaguely fashioned as a long dress. There were animal bones and skulls woven in here and there for aesthetic sake, Danny said that the AI added those during the auto-craft process without prompting, making her look like some tribal war-shaman. The thing was heavy but simple, so similarly to the parka it wouldn’t take her minutes to put it on.

Once she put it on, she could equip the more tight-fitting gauntlets, shoes and helmet at her leisure without indecent exposure. The splint and helmet gave her some Constitution, the shoes some Dexterity and the gauntlets some Strength. Nothing special, but it allowed her to stand and fight instead of having to turn into an animal every fight.

“So, these guys feel kind of easy. Too easy to gang up on with the six of us.” Ben said, poking the dead bear’s body. “We’re not going to grind fast like this.”

“You’re saying we should split up?” Elise asked.

“I mean, if it’s just foes like these…” Ben said.

Thomas: Livia, you said the ruins are dangerous. How dangerous? They seem a bit too easy right now for grinding.

Livia: They’re usually not that dangerous during the day, until you run into a production. Those are sprinkled throughout the ruins and it’s not always clear when something is a production or just a regular floor mob gimmick. They don’t always follow the rules of balance that Borant suggests, skimming these rules or making easy mobs with a sudden wave of unfair resistance to make sure crawlers don’t disrupt their show. Or they give their mobs unfair items.

Alexa: Shows?

Livia: Jup. Like movies or series, but set in a ‘real’ and mostly uncontrolled setting. It saves tons in special effects and actors when you can just bioengineer the protagonist you want and unleash them in a world where they can genuinely fight and kill bioengineered enemies while believing it all to be real.

Livia: The presence of crawlers and the way these guys are unscripted makes for rather clunky productions most of the time, but then again the third floor tends to be populated with cheap movie studios banking on a surprise hit.

Livia: The proper studios film further down and finish before the crawlers reach them. There’s a lot of 10th and 11th floor crawlers from previous seasons that can be hired as A or B-list actors for a supporting cast, but those are expected to stick to the script and the AI has no control over the movie sets down there yet.

Alexa: Should we find one, or avoid them?

Livia: Avoid. Definitely avoid. While a guest appearance on a show can boost your popularity and tends to be beneficial for both parties, the protagonists and villains of a show are always Elites. Arrogant and outspoken NPCs that bend or ignore the rules, especially the ones concerning crawler balance. You might run into a lvl50 Elite crossing the street, and they can strike you down on a whim while you stand no chance to stop them. No balance at all.

Darryl: Avoid elites, got it.

Thomas: I suggest we just stick to regular mobs for the time being, maybe a Neighbourhood Boss. We’ve got two crawlers that need to catch up.

Livia: Most definitely. You guys defeated that Excavator mostly by luck of everyone having enough Dexterity to make do, or being small enough to be carried. You outlasted their deadly gimmick and got to kill it easily afterwards, but if anyone had less than 10 Dex you’d be down at least one party member now. If not a total party wipe.

Livia: Most Borough Bosses aren’t going to be that easy after surviving their gimmick, and you’re not yet at a level where you can defeat the average BB. Especially Alexa, any passive damage aura or field and she’ll die slowly before the others can defeat the boss.

Alexa: Sounds like I need a hazmat outfit! ;D

Livia: Please take this seriously, young lady.

“So, split up?” Ben asked.

“Probably. One group for Alexa and one for Miho, let’s not risk splitting the group into three quite yet.” I said. “How do we want to do it?”

“I’d say a flight and a ground group, if it weren’t for Alexa and Miho both being the former.” Thomas said. “So let’s go narrow and broad instead. The broad group stays on this bigger road, and the narrow group takes the alleyways. We both follow the same path and stay close, but grind separately.”

“I see. I definitely need this broad road for swinging my bat, and I suppose that Darryl will be part of narrow.” Elise said. “So then…”

“I’ll go narrow!” Ben said. “Dark back alleys are right up mine.”

“Then I’ll stick to this road. Miho, Alexa, any preferences?” Thomas said.

“I’ll go narrow!” Alexa quickly said.

“Makes sense. You’re smaller so the alleys are less restricting to you, and your Star Struck works better in the shadows and dark.” Thomas said.

“Hm? Yeah, that too.” Alexa said. “I bet there’s better foes in those alleys!”

“Fine by me.” Miho said. “Good luck!”

“How about we all head for that large skyscraper over there?” Ben said.

“Why?” I asked, looking at the lone tall ruin on the horizon.

“Because it’s the tallest building around?” Ben said.

“It does make for a good landmark to use during navigating.” Elise said.

“And it’s the tallest building around.” Ben said.

“Which means it’s probably important somehow!” Alexa said.

“Exactly!” Ben smiled. “Hopefully just a Neighbourhood Boss, though.”

“We can always approach it, and leave if it turns out to be anything more.” Thomas shrugged.

“Alright, be careful out there. Lots of blind angles and dark corners where you’re going.” Elise said. “Don’t hesitate to holler if you need my help, and I’ll fly right over.”

“Thanks, we will.” I said, fist-bumping her. “See you guys later, and stay alert yourselves, too! I won’t be around to shield you for a bit.”