Nice.

Thomas and the others had been unable to open the cauldron, and even the sharpest weapons failed to wiggle themselves underneath the lid to force it open. But with his Bashing, his Smashing and a hint of some Trashing, Darryl relentlessly struck at the cauldron and saw it dent under his continued violence.

With still three minutes and fifteen seconds remaining on the timer, he struck the cauldron time and time again as the battered spot kept getting bigger. They could already see inside, but Darryl kept ramming it to get a bigger hole.

Next to him, Thomas hit the green flames with another Frost Bolt and the timer jumped to 3:47. Unfortunately they couldn’t just move the cauldron, or rather they already did only to find the flames clinging to the bottom of the kettle rather than to the wet logs. They also tried rolling the kettle into the bog, which made the timer slow down as the mud bubbled and boiled. But hitting them with cold damage knocked up the timer, so Alexa wasn’t in any immediate danger any more.

Still, Darryl kept pounding the kettle and widening the gap with haste and fury.

“Keep going, Darryl! I don’t want to be stuck until the whole battle is over!” Alexa shouted.

“Hm, good point. Maybe we should keep her in there?” Darryl said. “We could turn the cauldron on its side and let the water run out, and she’d be safe from the witch until the battle is over.”

“HEY! Don’t do that! Lame!” Alexa said. “I mean, OH NO! The water is starting to boil faster! Save me, Darryl! Save me, quick!”

“I don’t know if that will extinguish the flames, and thermodynamics dictate that the kettle will only heat up faster and sear her skin off if we remove the water. I know that such logic may not apply here, but I don’t think we want to take the risk.” Thomas said.

“Yeah! Listen to Thomas!” Alexa echoed from the pot. “Save this damsel, shiny knight!”

Darryl struck the cauldron again, continuing to widen the gap.

“Hey Thomas, did you know that Elise has a little meter to the side of her screen showing her level of bloodlust?” Darryl said.

“Convenient.” Thomas said, firing a Scorching Ray at the Hag. It missed, but these bright projectiles urged her to retreat back into the bog faster. “She already told us that she can control it and she showed that she doesn’t actually lose control while raging, but she neglected to tell us about the meter.”

“I think she actually did, maybe? Not sure if you were there at the time.” Darryl said.

“Oh well, she has shown to be a responsible member of the group lately, brash or not, so this is only more reason to trust her judgement of her own abilities.” Thomas shrugged.

“Yeah. Can you give me a hand?” Darryl asked.

Darryl grabbed the kettle, and Thomas grabbed the large handle on top of the lid. They pulled, and slowly the cauldron groaned and moved.

Then it flew open, and hot water poured out. The flames sizzled out and Alexa cheered as she scrambled up and hugged Darryl.

“My hero! You saved me.” She said. “Now if you’ll excuse me…”

“Nope.” Darryl said, grabbing her shoulder and yanking her back. “You’re not fighting that witch when she’s clearly obsessed with children. She cooked you before, let’s not find out if she’ll eat you raw now that we broke her cauldron.”

“But… It’s a boss battle!” Alexa tried.

“You’re staying right here, missy. No more attacking the deadly monster with the grown-ups.” Thomas chided.

Alexa huffed but stayed put. “If I die because I don’t get enough levels and cool loot, I blame you guys.”

“Why did you even come here?” Darryl asked.

“Pfft! Isn’t that obvious?” Alexa said with a smirk. “If I snuck into the group and join you in the boss battle, I’m assured to make it to the boss room safely. Once you guys finish her off, most of these guys will go down the stairs and leave only a small group to escort those lamos back at the Safe Zone. There will be less capable people, and a lot more slow 'n whiny people that have to be taken care of. The odds of me dying to Vespa to get here are actually bigger than me dying in this battle.”

“Unless the boss would’ve been very deadly.” Darryl said.

“In which case you would’ve either lost and I would’ve died anyway, or too many people died for you guys to mount an escort and I would’ve died anyway.” Alexa smiled.

“I don’t like it when your excuses to follow us into dangerous situations make sense.” Darryl sighed.

“They’re not excuses if they’re true.” Alexa said.

“Technically…” Thomas butted in. “Actually, never mind. Just stay here.”

“Sure, I’ll just STAND HERE AND BE DELICIOUS!” Alexa suddenly shouted.

“Damn it, Alexa!” Darryl grumbled, as the Hag turned around to look at her.

“Relax, I’m right next to you, and you’re like the best tank we have. She can’t just grab me again like before.” Alexa said. “And if we can taunt her to make her actions predictable, we stand a much better chance to finally take her down.”

“Damn it, Alexa, stop making sense!” Darryl said while Alexa chuckled.

The Hag dove into the swamp, one of Mr. Geruet’s Staggering Smite spells missing her by a hair and crashing into a tree instead. A second later, she appeared nearby and whistled loudly.

“She’s playing more defensively now that she’s out of healing potions.” Thomas said. “Be careful, she might have some oth-”

A massive lvl9 Giant Raven swooped down to attack Mr. Geruet at that very moment, attacking him from behind and clawing at him aggressively.

Darryl ignored the creature and kept his eyes on the hag, not letting her swoop in after such an obvious distraction.

The Hag didn’t try to force it anyway, instead using the opportunity to appear amongst a few isolated crawlers. They scattered and dove down, but Eva lunged forwards and tried to skewer the crone on her rapier.

“I’ll be borrowing this for just a moment!” The Hag cackled, grabbing the rapier with one hand and shoving a charm in Eva’s mouth with her other. She jumped back into the bog, leaving a disarmed Eva behind with a ‘Charmed’ text bubble floating above her head.

Eva jumped at the nearest prone crawler, but two others tackled her and without her weapon she couldn’t wound them. The dominated Eva struggled, but they had the situation handled. Good thing that didn’t happen with Elise, Corey or even a spellcaster like Thomas.

A few moments later, Thomas jumped to the side as a rapier was flung at him like a javelin and embedded itself in the cottage behind him. The Hag jumped at Darryl, landing right in front of him and trying to reach around to grab Alexa.

“There you are, child. Let’s try this again, shall we?” The Hag sneered.

The Hag dragged Alexa out with one arm, while grappling Darryl’s spear to prevent him from attacking her with the other. She pulled the tiny feathery girl to her and-

“Wrong side, witch bitch!” Alexa said.

Cuddles chirped angrily and bit the Hag in her nipple. The Hag yelped more in surprise than pain, but several cards found her back while she was distracted.

“Well done keeping her in one place!” Bea said. “Alright, I used my 9 of clovers, she’s rooted!”

A metal string shot out and embedded itself in the Hag’s back, and there was a buzzing similar to an electric fishing rod reeling itself in. A metal shadow came from behind, eclipsing the fake sun on the ceiling for a moment before coming down upon the Hag with a mighty swing. As Raphael brought down his axe enhanced with his great reel-in leap, it found the Hag’s skull and found it wanting.

With a shower of blood and gore, the Mud Hag was carved in half.

“Yeah!” Alexa shouted. “That’s how we do it!”

“Nice!” Bea said, high fiving Raphael.

“Guys, we haven’t won yet…” Darryl said. “I’m not sure why, but there hasn’t been a victory screen.”

“A little help here, please!?” Mr. Geruet screamed.

Darryl turned around and quickly absorbed most of the damage, reducing the assault that the battered wizard was dealing with to a quarter of what it was. The thorns bit painfully into his scalp, but the damage wasn’t that serious.

“Considering the level, this guy might be a lesser Neighbourhood Boss.” Thomas remarked as he fired a Frost Bolt at the Raven. The cold froze its wing, and while the Raven shook to the side with every beat of its wings flapping furiously to remain aloft, it wasn’t grounded and instead flew up in the sky. “Kill the weak rat and the middling toad appears. Kill the toad, and the raven appears. Ever stronger summons, though capped at three in total.”

“Still, not a huge issue with our numbers.” Bea said, firing a colourful ball of energy at the Raven. It exploded in flames, and its good wing smouldered a bit.

“Yes. It’s only really dangerous if everyone lets one of the undefended mages fight it one on one while they stand around picking their noses.” Mr. Geruet sullenly said. “Staggering Smite!”

The Raven saw the bright streak of light coming and swerved out of the way.

“Goddammit!” Mr. Geruet cursed. “Every single time! I haven’t hit the damned crone even once this entire battle!”

“You think *Pant* that’s bad?” Corey said, drenched in sweat, huffing and puffing as he trudged through the bog to the island. “*Pant* I’ve been chasing that *Pant* bitch this entire time and *Pant* never even managed *Pant* to attack her once. Damn hag was *Pant* avoiding me the entire time.”

“And I think she swooned at you at least once, too.” Bea chuckled.

“Fucking stupid *Pant* gimmick bosses in real *Pant* life or death battles.” Corey grumbled. “She killed Small. *Pant* God damn it, she killed Small and I didn’t even *Pant* get to punch her once to avenge him.”

“Well, at least we won.” Darryl said, throwing his spear at the Raven. It went wide, but he noticed that his aim was a lot better now that he could throw with his right arm again.

Thomas fired a Magic Missile, but the Raven seemed to have switched to dodging and surviving. It narrowly dodged one of Ben’s bolts too, but another projectile struck true.

That went on for a bit longer, most people not wasting their ammo while the spellcasters used their last mana points to take pot-shots. The Raven occasionally swooped down to strike at an isolated crawler, but under the canopy of gnarled but hardy trees it wasn’t difficult to deny its flyby attempts.

It eventually died and crashed into a tree, granting that one Notification that everyone wanted to see. The world froze, a plaque with Winner! showed all the survivors while the hag and everyone that died were greyed out with black mourning bands over their icons, and behind them the cottage collapsed into a sinkhole.