Sean Wu sneezed. Was someone talking smack about him behind his back? The youth reached into his pocket and pulled out half an avocado. Perhaps eating this healthy and nutritious fruit would help him with his constipation. The young man shrugged his shoulders and took a bite. Putting the avocado back into his pocket, Sean continued to grunt while sitting on the makeshift toilet.

Suddenly, a loud tremor shook the surrounding area. A strange-looking plant popped its head out the side of the dirt wall. Sean blinked; the youth was still sitting bare-bottom with his pants down. The mandrake stared back at him with small beady eyes. There was a brief moment of silence between the two.

“Eeeeeaaaaaaaaa!” The mandrake started screaming.

“Ahhhhhhhh!” Sean started screaming.

“Kiiirrrrk…” A giant insect resembling a termite popped its head out the side of the cave wall and started screeching.

This made the Sean Wu scream even louder. All the excitement had evidently knocked the mandrake out. It was foaming from the mouth with its body slumped over. The stone wood parasite was still stuck in the wall and was trying to dig itself out.

Sean quickly pulled up his pants. He didn’t know what the hell was going on, but the one thing he did know was that he needed to high tail it out of there. Of course, that did not stop the youth from grabbing the mandrake on the way out. He had read enough wuxia novels to know how valuable medical herbs were to pill refiners and alchemists.

The young man shoved the mandrake into his pocket. He leapt out of the cave and immediately started climbing his way down. Soon after, the stone wood parasite burst from the cave’s entrance, collapsing it in the process. It let out a screech and started to chase after him.

Sean Wu jumped from the wall and tumbled onto the ground below. The bottom of the canyon was on flat ground, and was covered with a silver sand that shimmered under the moonlight. There were giant bones protruding from random spots all around. Strange animals with whiskers sticking out of their eyes scampered about.

The youth did not have the leisure to stand around and gawk at all the sights. He quickly retrieved the hairpin laying on the ground and ran to the other side. Luckily for him, the stone wood parasite was an animal that relied on the mandrake for movement. Its limbs were not suited for climbing on rock and stone, much less trekking across sand. The parasite could only helplessly watch as Sean’s body slowly faded out of view.

下一章

When Sean resurfaced four hours later, no one was there to greet him. Mǔ Lǎo Hǔ had long since left. There was a piece of writing tacked onto a nearby stump that read, “meet me at the auction house tomorrow at sunset. Don’t be late.”

Sean shrugged his shoulders, he hadn’t expected her to stay long anyway. The problem now was that he still didn’t have a place to sleep. He was back to square one, except he couldn’t go back to the residential area because by the time he’d returned, the sun would have been already up.

The youth sighed and sat down on a nearby stump. He rummaged into his pocket and pulled out a hairpin. This hairpin was layered with a transcendental myriad fire essence, and was a treasure bequeathed to Mǔ Lǎo Hǔ on her sixteenth birthday.

When Sean remembered that the girl in the blue dress had used this very hairpin to incinerate a demonic beast into a charred corpse, he pondered to himself whether this tool could also be used to start a campfire. Now, if a martial ancestor were there, they would have coughed up blood listening in on this young man’s train of thought. What monkey would have the bright idea to a family’s treasured heirloom for the purpose of lightning a campfire?

But what Sean didn’t know was that the hairpin could only be utilized by someone with a talent for qi circulation and a pure elemental affinity for fire. No matter how much he waved the hairpin around like it was a wand from Har*y Pott*r, the pile of sticks and branches in front of him would not light up.

Sean brought the hairpin to his closer face and turned it over. The hairpin was slightly longer than a chopstick and had a deep red hue. It felt like porcelain and glimmered under the night sky. Just as Sean thought the words “inspect” in his head while looking at the hairpin, a light blue screen popped up.

Three Tigers Drink from the River Bordering the Edge of Eternity Hairpin

[Description] (Uncommon)

“Two ears discern the lie; three eyes to see the truth.”

[Requirements: Lv. 5, Flame Affinity, Lǎo Hǔ family member]

“Transcendental Myriad Fire Essence” +3 fire damage/second

Active: Ignite target area for ten seconds

Passive: +1 scaling fire damage to attacks

Sean opened his mouth, but no sound came out. This whole time, he had the ability to pull up an information prompt for items?! What else did he not know about the system?! Sean quickly dug into his pocket and pulled out the avocado Fǎ Shù had given him.

Profound Triangulum Star of Fortune

[Description] (Epic)

“This is not an avocado”

[Durability: 37/100]

Locked

Locked

If trait: Venerable Elder, +5~10 years to lifespan

Active: -10~28 durability, +25% max. cultivation progress, +5 permanent MP/DEF

Passive: +1 to dao understanding, +3 to qi circulation (single time)

[….This item is fucking overpowered!]

Sean finally understood. No wonder that snake-faced old man had tried to kill Fǎ Shù over this avocado, it really was an amazing item!

The mandrake didn’t look to shabby, either.

20,000-Year Old Pericelestial Grade Mandrake Root

[Description] (Uncommon)

“Beware the Stone Wood Parasite, it will chase after its partner for hundreds of miles.”

[State: Unconscious, 3% HP, 100/100 Durability]

Locked

Consume to restore 28% stamina, 13% health

Ingredient for Alchemy, Pill Concoction

Sean was pleased, he had come across two good items. Since he had to go to the auction house tomorrow, anyway, selling the mandrake there would simply be killing two birds with one stone.

The youth grinned, what a stroke of luck.

Sean put all the items away and rubbed two blocks of wood together until he started a small campfire. Yawning with tired eyes, the youth laid down and drifted off to sleep.

….

“What are you doing…” A foot nudged the sleeping Sean awake. Proctor Ming’s face stared down at him from above. She was evidently annoyed, as her expression was stuck in a scowl. Sean sat back up. The proctor had one foot on top of a giant demonic insect. It was the same stone wood parasite Sean had encountered below ground. The insect had followed him all the way up here, only to be beaten to a pulp by the woman present.

“I was trying to sleep.”

“Yes, here in the wide open. Where spiritual beasts run rampant, are you an idiot?”

The answer was yes, but of course, the proctor had only intended to ask that as a rhetorical question. Sean didn’t know what to say, he was still only half-awake.

“Well good thing I found you here when I did. I don’t know what happened, but the distress signal on your talisman disappeared when I’d arrived and reappeared only thirty minutes ago.” The proctor hoisted the youth up by the collar.

Sean sluggishly took out his talisman and inspected it.

Saint Devil Walks a Thousand Marathons

Trainee Identification Token

[Description] (Common)

“A token reserved for young masters with strong backings.”

The name (Shi Huáng Zì) Sean Wu is attributed to this token.

Contribution Points: 0

Active: Send a distress signal within 25 miles (24 hr cooldown)

Ah, that made sense. The clerk working at the information desk had given him a token reserved for young masters from influential families. When Sean had his name changed, the clerk hadn’t bothered to revert the token back to a normal one.

“Do all the cultivators around here have a token that can send a distress signal?”

“What? It’s common sense for the families of young masters to pay for these kinds of luxuries. Normally only inner sect disciples are privy to this kind of privilege. Whenever someone makes a distress call with their token, that uses up resources and manpower, so we charge the family a fee whenever this kind of thing happens. For some reason, the Huáng Zì clan gave explicit orders to ensure your well-being. You must be an important figure within the Huáng Zì clan for them to spend this many resources.”

Sean stopped dead in his tracks. Something was off.

[Why would the Huáng Zì clan pay for my rescue?]

….

Hundreds of thousands of miles from away, in a dimly-lit bamboo garden, an imposing man with a large stature and dressed in a woman’s garb raised an alcohol glass to the sky. “Rejoice, my brothers and sisters! Our esteemed Shi Huáng Zì has been found, and he is alive and well! This is great news! Let the betrothed’s family know, their soon-to-be daughter in law will be brought back, and our two clans will prosper for ages to come!”

In front of their imposing patriarch, the family of five-hundred thousand eunuchs raised their glasses to the sky and let out a passionate cry of joy. They began chanting. “The prodigal son returns! The prodigal son returns!”

....