Sean Wu had never imagined there would be an afterlife, much less one so strange. Only minutes ago, he was leaving an internet café, when he would be struck by a negligent driver. Blinding lights clouded his vision, and the young man awoke in a golden grass field. The skies were light blue, and the air had a slight breeze. His body felt light as a feather, as though he had transcended into a sunlit sky. Suddenly, Sean witnessed a grand heavenly beast fly across the skies. It had three wings and six testicles. An amazing sight. Sean doubted his eyes and opened them to see, but he could not hear through them. A great elder sat upon the magnificent beast, holding a green rod that seemed to span thirty thousand miles. The elder was fishing while sitting above the clouds, and had a triumphant look on his face.

Before Sean could react, an invisible hook seemed to have grabbed onto his cheeks and lifted him by the waist into the sky. Sean flew past clouds that tasted like sand, stars that shone like lamps in a fish bowl, and even entire islands which seemed to float adrift in foreign worlds. Sean flew so far in fact, that the daylit sky turned to night and back to day. The elder sitting upon the beast drew Sean up with his immortal world-refining fishing rod and smiled at him with crooked teeth, revealing a golden tooth and white hair upon his wrinkled chin.

“It seems I have made a great catch today,” mused the venerable elder, “how did such an otherworldly glow* end up here in a place like this…”

“Great Buddha, is this heaven?” muttered Sean, as his bottom cheeks faced the elder, he himself, hanging on a line. He noticed that the old man wore traditional Chinese garbs, littered with symbols that had no meaning, as well as a drawing of what looked to be a three-legged elephant smoking a pipe. The elder smiled once more, revealing a second golden tooth beside the first. He raised his hand, and with a killing intent that seemed to encompass the entire world, closed his fist and began to pull down. Veins bulged on the old man’s muscular arms as he struggled to grasp at something that could not be seen nor felt. At last, the elder released his struggling fist, and made a beaming face of relief.

Sean looked around but saw nothing. There were only clouds that seemed to stretch infinitely beyond the horizons. Nothing had changed in the slightest. Just as the young man was about to open his mouth to speak, a shadow flew past by his peripheral; that is, to say more accurately, it looked as though something had fallen down from above. Sean turned to look up, only to be met with disbelief. In the sky above, countless dao, words of meaning, buildings, beasts both demonic and heavenly, and even entire worlds were quite literally falling from the sky. A number of these pavilions looked to encompass a universe unto itself, heavenly beasts that could swallow oceans and lay waste to continents dropped by the googolplex. The air around shattered like glass shards and soundless thunder flashed beyond the horizons.

Sean was speechless, he could not believe his eyes. The old man, satisfied with his work, turned to face the boy. With his trademark smile, and a golden glint in his eye, the elder folded his hands behind back and stood up, “I am no Buddha child, but it is not incorrect to say that my identity is not so*.”

The old man continued, “it seems you are too green to grasp the meaning behind these characters*.” He sighed and waved his sleeved arm. The world once been destroyed slowly recovered its luster. The skies returned to their once blue hue. “It seems from where you come, your age can no longer recognize the brilliance of grand dao.”

The elder placed his palm on the youth’s shoulders, “I hear youngsters such as yourself like games these days, do they not? Perhaps it will be much easier to provide a system that which to guide you to the apex. When you have killed your way to the top, and have slain gods and devils, when your mere steps shake the earth, and your formless intent culls the seas, only then will we meet again, and when that time comes, with this hand”, the old man grabbed the youth’s palm and raised it into view, “you shall crush the heavens.” With that, everything faded to black.

下一章

As though a curtain had been draped over a stage, as though the gates to heaven had been closed off, a grand dream lasting a millennium had ended, and amidst the wreckage and destruction, a rising star twinkled brightly upon the universal board. Countless eyes landed on this constellation which even the greatest of geniuses and sons of immortal emperors could not hope to reach. Even with Armageddon approaching, was it possible that the universe had deemed a flower could still bloom in this barren scape? Many looked on with feelings of longing, as did others with anticipation, for a new star, unbeknownst to any great power, had suddenly found a place among the upper echelons. A new star; so begets a fate to cross worlds.

Sean woke up again. [Fuck, my lower parts itch. Did that old man do something to me?]

It was then that the young man noticed a light blue, translucent screen appear in front of him.

Sean Wu

Level: 1

The one who aspires to ascend

Physique: [Mortal Grade]

Cultivation: [Mortal Grade]

HP: Low

Locked

Locked

MP: Low

ATK: Low

DEF: Low

STA: Very Low

SPD: Low

Next: 0/1000 EXP

“What the fuck is this?” Exclaimed Sean. [The one who aspires to ascend?]

If that wasn’t the dumbest title he had ever seen. And why was every one of his stats grade low except for stamina, which was apparently very low?! Of course, Sean was in denial, but the answer is simply because he was a fat f*ck before he had been reincarnated.

[If you don’t stop talking shit about me, I’ll get you replaced by another translator.]

Of course, ahem, Sean was not in denial. It was simply because the system was unjust and must have made a mistake somewhere.

Sean closed the screen in front of him and looked up from where he sat. “This must be a cruel joke.” He was sitting on top of a branch protruding from a waterfall, one hundred thousand feet above ground. Suddenly, a notification appeared in front of him. The light blue screen read,

CRITICAL QUEST: GET DOWN FROM THE WATERFALL

No further directions have been provided.

[Reward: 500 EXP, Title: The one who almost died in the tutorial]

[ …. ]

“What the fuck?”

Had he wronged someone in his previous life?

“As if I had a choice.” Sean muttered as he struggled to stand up and observe his surroundings.

Suddenly, his foot slipped and Sean fell into the lake below and died instantly.