[TT] A vampire enlists the help of a group of humans to find out what's behind the strange things that have been happening in the vampire's castle.

...

So let me get this straight." I stood before the castle gate, eyes narrowing at the pale-faced figure behind the iron bars. "You hired us for a monster extermination, but you're not sure what monster it actually is?"

"Vhy yessssss, Exactly. Please come inside..." A cold whisper issued out in prompt reply, gates opening with a creaking groan. "I've requested vour services, for it may attack vat any time, Ve must deal vith it."

"Uh... huh."

The pale man gestured politely that we enter, prompting movement to my right.

"Hold up a second Lars." I didn't budge in the slightest, catching the youngest of the pair beside me by the scruff of his coat as they made first steps towards the gate. His yelp reminded me of a pup tripping on its own tail. "That's an interesting accent you've got there Mister..."

"Fritz.... Fritz Haarmann."

"Right, right." My expression held to a traditional poker-face: Visibly non-impressed with a stern gaze holding to the figure waiting within the castle grounds. "But like I was saying, your accent... That's rather unique."

"I've come from vee far East, across vee great seas, vou understand?"

"Ah, well that's rather unique you know. Unique, almost like you've got some large teeth in the way of your tongue when you're speaking."

"Vhat? Nooooo, Never! Vy personal denvistry is vost satisfactory vor vatters of ve teeth."

Already I could feel my hand scratching the prickling bits of beard I'd been letting out. The lack of electricity for my beard-trimmer wasn't exactly a considered issue when I purchased it, but it was recently a growing issue. I observed the circumstances; non-partial.

"Alright, well that's fine Mr. Haarmann. I'm just clarifying is all, we're professionals from the Guild just like you asked for- and the job's certainly worth it... I remember it's listed as-"

"Vree vundred silver pieces!" The melodramatic voice boomed from behind the iron gate, and I crossed my arms patiently as it died off.

"Right, right. Because of that, I'd truly hate to have a misunderstanding and think you were a Vampire or something."

The pale figure coughed visibly, eyes widening. "Vhat?" As he opened his mouth to speak, I could clearly see fangs. "A Vampire? Here? Vhat is vhat vou think vis in vy castle?" His accent was only getting worse under pressure.

Behind me I heard the familiar sharpening of metal, one of my companions slowly went about dragging a fine stone along their weapon's edge. Sola was surprisingly cool with the whole affair thus-far, probably just waiting on the word to stick a stake in Fritz; but on the other hand, beside me Lars looked visibly ill. My best guess from the shivering on his part, was that the boy would definitely have waltzed right into the Transylvanian-Lion's den, and was probably having flash-backs to the last time that happened.

Needless to say, Lars wasn't very good with vampires.

Professionally, I ignored them both. A a group, we hadn't had many jobs recently. "Needed the money" was an understatement, either we took this contract or we had to go back for another loan from the Guild.

"Listen, Fritz, can I call you Fritz?" The individual who was very possibly a Vampire nodded politely, before I continued. "Right... Fritz, before we start the extermination, I'd like to request a bit more details. The Contract was lacking some vital information."

"Vital, vou say?"

"Yes, Vital." I carefully pulled the sheet of parchment from my coat pocket, eyes squinting in the dim light. "Says here you've seen things are moving around, food and drink going missing."

"Ves! A vot of food has gone vissing!"

"Right, Well I'm thinking that could just be a thief or something. Why do you think it's a monster?"

"Vell, it's vee type of vood!" The pale man raised his arms in a wild gesture of exclamation. "Vhat else vood eat vlood and vuman vle-" He stopped short, look of visible discomfort reaching over his face.

"I'm sorry, I might have misheard with your accent, but please: Go on." My arms crossed, familiar sounds of a weapon sharpening behind me once more. "Do pray continue."

"Vhat I vean to say is- Vell, va food! Vit is va food!" His accent was worse than ever as the conversation continued.

"Go on." I gave my best stern grimace, watching the pale figured wriggle under the weight of my stare. For an immortal blood-sucker, this one was setting the bar low.

"Please, help! I vill pay vou vour vundred Silver!"

I held my stare.

"Vive vundred?"

I wasn't aware a vampire could cry, but the pale face behind the gate bars seemed pretty damn close to it.

"Vive vundred and vivity?" Fritz the vampire held a clear look of despair, pale features drooping with visible sadness. "Vix vundred?"

Finally I smiled. "Fritz, it sounds to me like you've got yourself a deal."