[WP] Take a fantasy world that involves magic, dragons, castles, kings and other fantasy tropes, but give it modern technology

...

I stared at the dashboard and tried my best to ignore the thin-distance between the final three dash marks, and the large capitalized E. The longer I stared, the more I questioned ever leaving my tiny plot of asphalt by the forest in the first place. Times like these I could really see myself trading it all in for a a simpler life: Work out in the fields, and then supper in Tom's cabin with a few of Nan's honeyed scones.

"So how does this thing work anyways?" My companion leaned in as she spoke, her elfish features reflecting in the pull down mirror of the passenger's seat. "Did you kill a demon and reanimate it after carving out its insides?"

"Hrm." I grunted as I rolled down the driver's side window, valiantly resisting the urge to vomit for the third time that morning. If she were kidding about that question, I'd probably have been fine: But I knew she wasn't.

"What about the glass pieces, did you craft those yourself?" The questions persisted. "I've never seen a demon with these before, so you must have added them- right?" And persisted. "The voices of the dead, are you sure you're not-"

"I'm not a Mage, Sola!" The reply was more of a growl than spoken word, acidic taste on my tongue still as apparent as it was when it first arrived. "I'm just an ordinary guy and I'm trying to make sense of this madness, so give me a minute." Everything was just going wrong.

That didn't stop Sola from talking.

"Well, you blew up a giant Ghoul's head with fire magic like it was made of paper and pulp. I've only ever seen mages do something like that." My companions reply was sceptical, as she pushed the mirror back and forth. "Are you sure this doesn't hurt the High-Undying?"

"I did that with a gun, and it's a Hyundai." I growled back, hand rubbing between my eyes with the ever-growing sensation of a lurking migraine. "And no, it's not alive- it was never alive. It doesn't feel pain."

"Oh." Sola's reply was less than satisfactory. "Well, that's interesting." Her nimble fingers flicked the mirror back into place as she leaned back, pushing her seat as far as it would go. "Sure is strange though."

Instead of cursing the day I'd met her, or the following night in which she'd unintentionally buried me alive beneath a mound of twice-dead corpses: I tried to focus on the cool breeze coming through in the afternoon sun. At least we'd found an outpost where we could collect our bounties for killing the ghouls. It was the little things in life that made all the difference, or so I'd been lead to believe before all of this had happened.

Through force of habit- against force of will, I once again glanced down at the fuel gauge. My grumble held at bay- barely. At the very least, we were making good time on this stretch of road. The chances of reaching the next town before the gaslight were still withing the realm of possibility.

"Can we listen to the voices of the dead?" Sola asked from her reclined posture, sitting up slightly against the seat-belt with a grimace of irritation. "I'm curious to hear what they say."

Finally, a question that wasn't completely out in left field.

"It's a six-track CD stereo-system." My reply came with a careful click of the power and volume turn-knob, bring the soft green glow back to light in the center console. "They're just recordings, not dead-people." Queen's greatest hits began to play quietly, guitar solo of We Will Rock You ripping along with low volume. A personal favorite.

"They're not dead?"

"No, they're..." I paused of a second, clicking my tongue. "Well, some of them are dead- I know Freddy Mercury died, but that's not the point. It's just a recording of when they played their music." That didn't sound convincing in the slightest.

"So they are dead." Her eyes narrowed, head tilting slightly to one side. I tried not to stare at her ears. "Are you certain you're not a Mage?"

"No, wait a second. That's not how this works. That's now how any of this w-"

"LOOK OUT!" Sola's shout of warning gave me just enough time to slam on the brakes and twist the wheel.

Narrowly, we avoided the round little man atop a tired looking mule and cart, just as they burst from a side-trail. I could swear the beard on his face brushed the side of the door as- Heart beating in my chest like a drum, I heard the man yell in a deep voice that held a surprising lack of fear for his shave with death.

"Well come on then yeh demon! I ain't afraid to be going after me ancestors! Not one bit!" A hairy fist shook in our direction as I straightened out the wheels, thankful that the trailer hadn't found a way to pop free from its hitch on the incline. "But be warned! I'll have you choking on me bones, yes I will!"

"Now hold on just a second!" I shouted, as I put the car in park, leaning out the window to give my best non-aggressive wave. "Not a demon, just a person. My apologies for the scare, I didn't see you from the road."

"Hurr..." The anger shifted to confusion, and then immediately back to anger again. "Yeh Gods-damning Mages, and yer strange experiments! I swear, off in those strange little worlds of yers- none of yeh have a decent grip on the value of yer fellow's lives! I could've died! Worse, my hard-brewed craft might've spilled!"

"Ah... Well, we're sorry about that." I rolled down Sola's window further, whispering in a hushed tone. "Help me out here Sola," before I spoke once more. "What are you taking to market? Looks interesting."

I gestured towards Sola, prompting her to speak.

"We're sorry about almost running you over. The High-undying demon is very violent sometimes."

I truly wished I was a Mage in that moment, if only to cast a spell of shut-the-fuck-up instead of my most angry glare. Somehow though, the Dwarf seemed somewhat relieved.

"A dark elf? In the East? An' one with Manners no less? My apologies, the end times must be upon us to be seeing such a sight." I detected at least a few off-handed details of importance in those words, but the short hairy man seemed oddly placated as he turned his attention back to me. "Why, this here be the famous Dwarven-Moonshine of the Midland Mines! Guaranteed to knock your wits into next week an' further." A hairy fist bounced off a thick and rounded chest with a solid thumping noise. I considered the claim with seriousness.

"Moonshine... How alcoholic do you think that is?" The Dwarf's face squinted at me, expression clearly indicating he thought I was daft. A quick check confirmed Sola gave little better. "How much fire water... In ratio to the regular water? I want to know how concentrated it is?" My voice shifted pitch slightly there, but sounding like a mad man was something of a personal hobby at this point.

The Dwarf's squint turned to something else. Seriousness, and respect.

"Yeh be speaking' o'something not many folks know... Have yeh brewed with my kind human? To know o' the arts..." He pondered his own words, low "hurring" noise once again sounding between expression. "I'd say... Well, it be pure. Over nine parts in ten, close to ten I'd say."

"Close to ten parts in ten?" I pressed a bit, ignoring the now completely incredulous expression on Sola's face beside me. "How sure are you?"

"Well, I'd... I'd stake me name on it." The Dwarf puffed up with pride. "It's closer than any other might make' it! Fierce, burns like many won't believe. Both'n throat, an' in flame!"

"How much a barrel?"

Sola's hiss of disbelief was vetoed and ignored by a waving hand. The dwarf's eyes widened. "Fifteen- no, Twenty Silver!"

I grabbed the coin purse before Sola could stop me, fingers quickly counting through. Her vocal protests were a hushed whisper of misunderstandings.

"What about the bathes and the beds?" Her tone was more sad than anything. Again, I vetoed. In theory half of this coin was hers, but I'd gone and killed the really big bounty and saved her from being eaten by a wolf- so I'd say it evened out.

"One... two..." I looked up towards the dwarf from my seat- holding out the coin purse. "I can give you thirty-eight silver for three, right now. No need for market." His expression hardened.

"Forty-five." Counter-offer.

"Forty." I shot back.

"Forty-three."

"Forty-one."

"Forty-two." I could see his teeth now, grin peering out beneath that thick coverage of facial hair. It was a stern reminder to at least make an effort to keep my own trimmed. Foliage like that could hide at least half a dozen chirping baby birds.

"Deal." I opened the car door, slinging the rifle over my shoulder to dole out the coins. Sola's disapproving gaze made it's best effort to stab me on the powers of sight alone. I ignored her, until I was done loading up the barrels, strapping them down carefully into the back seats under the curious watch of the dwarf.

"So... This be some type'of hollowed out demon, mayhaps?"

"No, it's a car." I shut the door behind me as I climbed back into my seat, "Pleasure doing business with you." Slowly the vehicle began its roll down the road, leaving the dwarf behind, flabbergasted. I handed Sola back the coin-purse, almost empty but for a meager sum of copper and one silver piece.

Her face said it all, tragedy all but etched into every feature. "But why?" She seemed to ask with nearly enough of a look to pull at my emotion, were I not still holding a minor grudge that she'd buried me beneath a mound of ghouls. As the speakers slowly raised in volume, Freddie Mercury's voice singing out for all to hear, I sighed- finally giving in.

"It's to feed the High-undying demon."

For some reason, unlike all the others I had provided thus-far: That answer sufficed.