[Congratulations, you have leveled up!]

I think I lost too much blood. I’m starting to see things; acting like this is some videogame to ease the pain. Man, if I had to die in such a fantastic way, at least I would’ve preferred to die in a cooler, more heroic way.

[Congratulations, you have leveled up!]

In the arms of a beautiful princess, maybe, as I sacrifice my life to save hers. Or perhaps during a brutal and hopeless battle, facing dozens of enemies at once. Knowing I’ll succumb to them eventually but persevering still.

[Congratulations, you have leveled up!]

I suppose things rarely turn out the way we expect them to. I might have lived my whole life on the sidelines, but I feel like I did pretty well this time. If I had another chance, I’d make sure not to waste it this time…

[Look over here, you dipshit, you leveled up! Now stop being so dramatic, for fucks sake!]

I take a moment to actually look at this… floating notification in front of me. It’s floating in the center of my vision. No matter where I turn to look, it always seems to be right in front of me.

[Congratulations, you have leveled up! Your wounds are healed, and you’ve unlocked POTENTIAL!]

I look down at my body, inspecting it for scratches and wounds. Other than my horribly shredded clothes, I appear to be in perfect condition, like this fight never happened in the first place.

What the hell is potential? This just seems like one of those cliche stories, where a hopeless loser gets transported into another world save it. Oh god, am I the hopeless loser?

[Of course, you are! I mean, have you looked at yourself? PATHETIC! You almost lost to a goblin, a fucking feral goblin!]

What the hell? I don’t remember seeing any stories about the protagonist getting rinsed by the system like this. What the hell is your problem?

[POTENTIAL is your capacity to absorb the essence of the world. By ingesting food, enemies, elements, or concepts, you gain passive or active skills or stats to become stronger and survive!]

Who the hell does it think it is, ignoring me like that. It’s lucky it doesn’t have a physical form; otherwise, I would give it a good walloping to teach it a lesson.

[Oh please, a coward like you wouldn’t be able to fight a paper towel in a bathtub, let alone someone as incredible as me! Who takes a shit in an unknown cave, in front of a feral creature?]

I can feel my face heating up, knowing it had a point. “Look, it was an emergency. I’ve been holding it in all day.” I stutter out loud.

[Don’t talk out loud. More creatures might show up and actually finish you off this time. Head back out through the gate. You should be safe at home for the time being.]

What? after all this trouble of getting to this horrendous cave, you’re sending me home already? I thought this whole leveling thing meant I’m supposed to become a badass, destroying monsters left and right!

[So did I, but no one expected you to be this bad at the whole monster-killing thing. For now, head back before you bite off more than you can chew. I’ll explain the leveling system after we get some rest. Looking after your dumb ass is exhausting.]

Man, fuck off! I almost died. I don’t need this snark. I wait a few seconds after my thought, but the system doesn’t seem to reply. Deciding it’s best to listen for the time being and put my pants back on. My backpack’s content spilled out on the cold hard floor during the fight. Not wanting to waste precious groceries. I pick everything up and put it into my bag before heading back into the ominous portal.

Once it did its unsettling teleportation back into my bathroom, I could feel the fatigue that had been building up all day. I really need a rest. My healed but worn-out body slowly makes its way into my bedroom to succumb to sleep.

“Thank god it’s the weekend. There’s no way I’m going to the office after a night like this,” I mumble to myself as sleep quickly sets in.