“You haven’t seen them?” Patrick runs a hand through his hair. “It’s been two days and they haven’t shown up once! They’re-They’re…”

Lynn and Aya don’t say a word. They sit next to Patrick with their eyes downcast. Whatever Patrick’s saying, they’ve heard it before and agreed. I can’t protest anything he’s saying. It’s true. I put them in danger by asking them to follow Barric.

Patrick sighs, “I’m going to issue a request to the guild. I’m also going to talk to the town guards and find out if they’ve seen them,” they get up from their seats.

“L-Let me-”

“Just, stop,” Patrick snaps.

I look at Lynn, somewhat expecting her to say something to Patrick, but she’s silent. She blames me too. They leave without another word or glance. Everything becomes hazy and before I know it, I’m in my room opening a book as if it would solve anything. Why am I here wasting time and not out there?

“Ellar?” Cecily knocks on the door. I tell her to let herself in. “The festival will start tomorrow. Some are setting up tonight so go around town a little bit. I think it’ll be a good change of pace. Why don’t you go with some friends or something? I’d offer to go with you but I’m working until that day. I’m free for the next three days though. So how’s about it? Sounds fun?”

I give her the best smile I can manage. “Y-Yeah… I-I can’t wait to go. Thanks for telling me. I have to finish this book and, um… I-I’ll definitely check it out after I finish reading this,” I point to the book, “I have to return it today because the library’s going to be closed for a while.”

“Okay. I’ll see you later then. Tell me how tonight goes,” Cecily closes the door.

I let out a shaky breath and lean against the wall. The book hangs loosely in my hands. I don’t know what I should do. Everything’s falling apart. I only have these books to rely on. I trace the words across the page. I remember when mom taught me to read. It was probably one of the happiest days of my life…

How come I can’t remember more than that? My mom and dad. They were, they were there right? I know for sure mom taught me how to read. I remember her sitting next to me, tucking me under her arm for… for the first time… and she read. She read to me and came and taught me day after day… But why can’t I remember anything else?

I snap my attention to the window. There’s a sound coming from outside. The guild building’s rooms for adventurers are just above the tops of the other buildings. I can see past the gates and glimpse the road. I look at the people below, all seem too busy with the freshly set festival attractions to even notice me.

The sound rings out again and I look up at the horizon. It’s coming from out there. No one else seems to have heard it. It sounds close but far away at the same time. Is my mind playing tricks on me? If I were to go out, I’d only have a couple of hours until the sun goes down.

No, going outside has only made bad things happen. There’s also that thing wandering around. If I leave now, I might encounter it again. It’s best if I stay here and read. Just read until Patrick or Cecily or someone comes and gets me. No one else hears it, or maybe it’s all part of the festival.

I hear it again. It’s clear like it’s in this room with me or something entirely in my mind. Every time I hear it, I look, searching. What is it? It’s like an animal’s call but softer, ethereal. I want to go to it. It’s calming and urgent at the same time.

I stuff the book into a bag and carry it with me. I’m breathless upon leaving the guild. Hundreds of people are on the streets now, going from stand to stand, talking and laughing, children running around with their friends. I get lost in the crowd. I don’t even know where I’m going anymore. I can’t see over their heads. Why are there so many people when the festival hasn’t even started yet?

The sound instantly draws my attention. I have to go that way.

I push through the crowd, careful not to slip on the snow until I make it out of that mass of people. I eventually catch my breath on some less populated roads. The gate’s still a couple of minutes away. Can I make it through all these people?

There are more guards today than I’ve seen my whole time here. They’re more relaxed than they usually are, talking with the people and visiting some of the festival stands. More than a few of them eye me as I walk by. It’s not just the guards either. I know I stand out on a regular basis, especially since my hair isn’t like anyone else’s.

I stare into an alleyway. It’s small and dark with only a few ways out. I take refuge in there to catch my breath and calm my nerves. Going straight is a dead end but there’s a turn ahead. I hear the sound calling out to me and I go deeper.

Suddenly a chill envelops my body. I can no longer breath. My vision shakes. My hands press against my mouth. I keep closing and opening my eyes. Each time it gets worse and worse and worse and worse. I feel the urge to step closer. I can’t. I turn to leave, to run back into my room. A guard turns his head at that moment and we exchange looks. He looks confused and calls another one over. They walk toward me. I glance at the scene and without another thought, run. A loud and sickening splash echoes in the confines of the alley as I go past the two bodies. It’s too cold for snow to melt.

“Hey, stop!”

I ignore them and frantically push through the crowd too confused and scared to apologize to those I push over. I’m close to the gate. Some people, adventurers maybe, were just let in. I run past, not saying a word to anyone. There’s some commotion behind me, but it grows more distant the longer I run. I’m losing breath. It hurts to breathe. I want to stop. I can’t.

I’ve been staring at the ground the whole time. How far have I made it? I glimpse at what’s ahead of me. Two people, a girl with red hair and a boy with black. He’s wearing a blue scarf. I need to run past them too. I close my eyes. When I open them again, they’re out of sight. I slow to a stop and collapse.

It hurts. Each breath feels like it’s killing me on the inside. My hands and lips, my legs too, they’re all numb. My vision blurs. I try focusing on my hands and try to steady my breathing. I hear the sound ring out twice. I know this sound. I know it. I’m getting closer. I just have to go a little bit further.

I stare at the lake. I can see my reflection in the water. My eyes are slightly red, my hair’s disheveled, and I’m completely lost. After coming here I haven’t heard the sound. Is it because the moon is up? It’s nearly full now. It’s supposed to be dark but it doesn’t feel that way. I want to dip my hand in the water but it’s cold.

I grit my teeth as I pick up some snow and throw it into the lake. I grab more snow and throw again and again. I try to release more of my feelings with each one but my shoulder starts to hurt and my hand is cold. I crouch down and stifle a scream. I ruffle up my hair and press my palms against my eyes.

Why did I pay them to go and watch Barric? Why did I have to do that? Why couldn’t I have just done it myself? Patrick and them... They're going to find out. How am I supposed to explain what happened to them? They’re going to be mad at me. They’re going to hate me. If Cecily hears this will she hate me too? I won’t have anyone if that happens. I’ll be alone. All alone. Why did I come out here? Why was I being so stupid?

My stomach rumbles and I push away the bad thoughts for a moment. I open my bag to see if I can find any food. All I come up with is some money and the book I borrowed. I stare at it for a second and feel something rising in my chest. This… This is why. This is why I did any of those stupid things. It’s because of all the books I read!

I grab it by the edge and pull my arm back. I aim for the middle of the lake where I won’t be able to get it even if it floats back up. I bite my lip, close my eyes, and… I can’t do it. I crouch down, holding the book tight to my chest just letting out ragged, frustrated breaths.

“I think she might have gone this way.”

I snap to look at where the voices are coming from. I see the light of a torch coming closer. I quickly stuff the book and money into the bag, slinging it over my shoulder as I run for the trees. I peek over the side as I wait for them to come closer. It’s a group of ten guards. They stop right by the lake.

“I thought I heard something over here,” one of them says.

“Hear what? She’s probably far gone by now. I said we should have sent out a group after her right away,” says the torchbearer.

I can feel my heart sinking.

“We didn’t even know what was going on.”

“We knew there were two people dead and that some roluk ran away from the scene of the crime! I’ve been doing my rounds and there are no children who’ve dyed their hair.”

They’re looking for me?

“The captain didn’t want to cause a ruckus with the festival just starting. We’ve already got enough to worry about with the monsters in the mine and thing roaming near the village. What we don’t need is to have the people panicking during the festival because they think there’s a murderer going around.”

“They already think something worse than a murderer is going around. If you ask me, I bet the roluk was the one who killed that one person the other night. That boy was probably forced into it. She threatened him that she’d kill his friends if he spilled and I guess she ended up killing them anyway.”

I sit at the base of the tree, staring ahead into the darkness of the forest. They… They think that I killed them? Me?

“Hey, these ones look pretty fresh.”

I flinch. The footsteps get closer. I grab the straps of my back tightly and run.

“I was right. She’s over here!”

I run with everything I have, pushing past trees and doing my best to plow through the snow. Each glance behind my shoulder sets my heart racing. They’re using the path I’ve made to catch up. Their light armor doesn’t slow them down at all.

“AH!” I scream as an arrow embeds itself in the tree next to me.

“Stop you, idiot! we have...”

I hear the first part but the rest doesn’t register. My mind hazes over. They’re trying to kill me. They’re going to kill me.

I spin around and unleash magic in a wave. The closest two groan and fall into the snow their whole bodies shivering. I turn and keep running.

“Yoouuu! Someone stay behind and check on them. Aim for her legs!”

I hear more arrows whiz by and flinch every time they land in the snow or with a thud against the trees. I’m stumbling over the snow praying that I don’t get hit by one of their arrows. What spells can I use? What do I do?

My prayers fall on deaf ears. One of the arrows grazes my leg and I fall. Everything is hurting again. My leg throbs. I look to see how bad it is and start shaking at how much blood I see. It flows down my leg like a waterfall. How deep is it? Will I die if I keep running? No, I’ll die if they catch me. I have to run.

I stick out my hands and cast a frost wall. I try to stand but I almost fall. I only used one spell but the energy is already draining out of me. It’s been hours since I last ate or had anything to drink. I’ve been running more than I’ve ever run before.

I don’t have the luxury to stop now.

I manage to make it a little bit further but they catch me. One of the grabs my arm yanks me to the ground. He pulls out his sword and points it at my neck.

“Finally. You did a good job at running but it’s over-”

There’s a blur of movement. The guard and something else tumbles onto the ground and the sound of gurgling fills the forest. Screams follow. My shaking hand wipes the liquid from my face. The red liquid.

“There’s more,” someone shouts. “Help!”

“Damn mons-”

Each one of the guards is fighting against some kind of boar wolf mix with spiked tails. They fall one after another. I scramble to my feet and run. I can’t hear them yell anymore yet I still hear the snow crunching behind me. I hear the monsters’ excited panting. My leg is warm from the blood. They came because of my injury.

One races in front of me. I cast an ice bolt, nailing it in the chest. It doesn’t die so I cast another. I don’t know how long I can keep this up. I’m slowing down. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to be alive.

I can’t run anymore. I stop and turn to face them. There are so many. I cast ice bolt one after another. I use a vocal incantation to increase my power. They die in one hit but I can’t stop them all. One leaps at me. I cast a barrier and fall to the ground. I back away into the center. They circle around the barrier, eyeing me. Any opening and they’ll strike.

I pull my legs to my chest like I’ve done so many times before. Everything’s just been falling apart ever since I took that request to go to the village. No, ever since I was stupid enough to try and look for people who don’t even know who I am.

I try to stop my tears, “H-H-He…” I can’t even muster the courage to yell for help. I’m going to die here without knowing anything... I’m so stupid. I should have never left my room. I should have lived in there just reading day after day. I hate this. I hate everything. I… I hate myself.

One of the boar wolves ram into the barrier and then another joins in. They ram into the barrier over and over. I feel it shaking, I feel the magic waning. It’s going to break. The air around me grows colder.

The barrier shatters.

I cover my ears and close my eyes.

…

…

…

…

...

Am I still alive?

I look up.

All of them are dead.

I see a figure standing over one of the monsters.

He pulls back his hood and asks, "Are you okay?"