I pace by the window gazing out into the town. Light leaks from the one side of the town slowly moving closer to the center. Groups of guards walk the streets in tight formation. Fewer people roam the town than the night before. The places we can hide are narrowing as well as our options.

Everyone else stands in different corners of the room talking. We received the offer this morning and I’ve thought of various ways to leave the town without making much commotion but I haven’t voiced them. None included saving Emile and I’m ashamed of myself for forgetting him.

As it stands, it’s Iris, Elis, Blue Hair, and Aisha, against Istruan, Sio, Fia, and Kat.

“We’ve gone over this a dozen times already,” Iris says, pressing her hand against her head. “We can’t take the deal. Not without considering the other options and the consequences.”

“This deal will save Emile! If we don’t take it, who knows what will happen? You would take it to save your friend, wouldn’t you?” Iris remains firm under his question. “You’re not saying anything but I know you would. What’s wrong with me taking the deal?”

“This isn’t your decision to make,” she responds. “It’s all of ours. I don’t trust ‘Robin,’ if that’s even his actual name. My father has dealt with his kind before and they are the lowest of the low. They would trade us in as soon as they have us finish their dirty work.”

“And what if he doesn’t?”

“And what if he does?”

“What other choice do we have Iris? Would you abandon one of our own?”

She hesitates. “No. But we have other things to think about.”

“We have to think about the group and Emile is part of the group,” Kat says. Istruan nods in agreement.

“You want us to become criminals?” Iris asks.

“We already are criminals. If you don’t like the idea, then how do you plan to save Emile and get all of us out? You don’t have one, do you?” Iris is silent. “That’s what I thought. Even if we were to leave the town, who’s to say Robin doesn’t have someone watching us right now? What if he tells that officer where we’re headed? With the snow showing all of our tracks, we’d be caught in hours and Emile would be dead.”

“Then we take the plan?” Iris shakes her head. “There are too many risks and too many assumptions-”

Someone knocks on our door. I signal for everyone to prepare themselves. I open the door to find the innkeeper. He smiles and I return the gesture. “Hi,” I say. “Are we making too much noise?”

He shakes his head and gives me a letter. As I take it, I notice his hands shaking. I look at his face to see the smile from before has gone and disappeared. He purses his lips and whispers, “Good luck…”

I close the door and open the letter. My heart almost stops as I read it. Axel comes over and reads from over my shoulder.

“What’s it say?” Aisha asks.

“That we’re being watched,” Axel says. The atmosphere in the room grows tense. “And that Robin’s patience is long but we’re running out of time. The man in the black armor that was with Saelac is guarding one of the exits in the town and the magicians have cast sensory magic around the perimeter.”

“Rainen,” Elis says. “You and Gideon fought that black knight guy, right? How tough was he?”

I shudder. “Very.” If i hadn’t come, then Gideon may have very well been either captured or dead. The armor nullified almost every magic spell we threw at it. The man under the armor definitely had a lot of experience.

“Then…” Iris grimaces. “Then we’ll take the deal.”

“What?” Blue Hair finally speaks. “W-we’re taking the deal? Why?”

“Because it’s the best choice,” she answers. “Istruan was right. Most of my plans didn’t include saving Emile but now there are no other options. We’re being watched by Robin and actively hunted by Saelac. Even if we did manage to put my plan to scale the walls into action, we’d need the use of magic which would tip Saelac’s men off and we run the risk of fighting someone we can’t beat.”

“But still-”

Axel steps forward. “I have to agree. I wasn’t one for leaving Emile behind but I didn’t want to put all of us in danger. Now we don’t even have a choice.”

“I’m against working with criminals but they’re right,” Aisha says.

“If Iris is giving in then there’s no chance,” Elis agrees.

I fight back the doubt in my mind. I nod and say, “So it’s decided then.”

“N-no…” Blue Hair shakes her head. Everyone turns their attention to her and she shrinks under our gaze. Her fingers curl around her scarf.

“Ellar,” Istruan starts but Fia cuts him off.

“No? But what about Emile? Does he not matter?” Fia says, a well of emotion seeps out from her and her voice sounds harsher and colder than it needs to. Even I’m taken aback by her words.

“I-I, I…”

“I don’t know about you but I know I’m weak. I can’t contribute much if we get into a fight so taking a deal is all that I can do to save one of my friends. I’m scared but at least I’m brave enough to take a chance. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I’ll do what I have to to see one of my friends safe again.” Istruan tries to calm her but she shakes him off. “Istruan asked Iris this before and now I’ll ask you. If it were one of your friends trapped in there, what would you do?”

Blue Hair pulls the scarf tighter around herself, “I-I don’t know… I-I don’t want…” her voice is too quiet to hear.

“To get hurt?” Fia huffs like she’s the one under pressure.

Istruan stops her before things escalate further, “Please,” he says. “It’s already a majority. You’ve made up your mind, haven’t you, Rainen?”

I look at Blue Hair who has her eyes trained on the ground. “I do. We’ll tell Robin tomorrow morning and rescue Emile. I think it would be good if everyone went to sleep. It’s been a long day and I’m sure everyone is tired.”

They agree and leave the room one by one. Even Axel does as well, claiming he’s going to get something to drink from downstairs before sleeping. Aisha pulls me in and whispers to me, asking me to keep an eye out on Blue Hair.

Blue Hair is the last to leave. With Aisha’s request fresh in mind I sigh, “Are you okay?” I make a note not to call her Blue Hair.

She nods and quickly walks through the door. An uncomfortable feeling rises in my gut and I push it back. Her issues are none of my concern. No matter how afraid she is, she can’t go against the decision of the group. It’s already been decided by a majority that we’ll take the deal.

I lay in bed for a little while. I hear the door open and close and the bed next to mine creak under the weight of a person. It takes only a couple of moments for Axel to fall into his dreams while I continue and fail. If the argument from earlier went on longer, then I’d have been forced into choosing. The letter was a weight off my shoulders…

As I drift deeper into thought, my eyes grow heavy. They shoot open when my ears pick up on the slightest noise from the hallway. I roll off my bed just in time to see Blue Hair walking down the steps with her pack.

Is it another nightly reading session? No. It can’t be with all those guards out there… Then is she going to run away?

I want to cross that thought out too but I can’t. I follow a safe distance behind her and see her speaking with the innkeeper. He shakes his head and she turns around, heading out the door. I walk by, stopping the innkeeper from greeting me with my hand. As soon as she’s outside, Blue Hair goes behind the inn. I round the corner and see her under a tree with the pack to the side.

So she’s reading again huh? Figures.

As I turn around, a blue spark catches my eye. She’s summoned her spirit. I haven’t seen it since all those months ago in the academy. She hugs the fluffy spirit. I lean over the side of the building and close my eyes focusing solely on her voice.

“I… I just don’t want to hurt anyone,” she says.

The uncomfortable feeling from before disappears but another one takes its place. I return to hiding and stare at the moon for a bit. When I peek over the corner again, I find Blue Hair engrossed in her book. Her expressions change slightly on each page but she strains her eyes to read the text.

Recalling Aisha’s words, I head back inside the inn and speak with the innkeeper. It takes a little while but he finds what I asked for. I go outside and give it to Blue Hair. She jumps when she sees me.

“Here,” I say, holding out a lantern. “It’s not very bright but it’s better than the moonlight.”

She takes it, almost speechless. “Th-thank you…” she manages, astonished by my act of kindness. “W-why?”

“Because Aisha asked that I keep an eye on you, that’s all. Don’t stay up too late,” I pause for a moment but walk away.

I don’t want to have to kill anyone either.

Robin’s face twists into a wicked grin when he hears our answer. He sets his pen down and motions with his fingers at his assistant hiding in the shadows. He out and holds his hands apart. A flicker of light appears between his hands and eventually turns into an image. It shows a man with long dark hair and multiple scars, one on his lip and another right across his forehead. His slightly crooked nose and cauliflower ears speak louder about his experience than the red markings on his armor.

So this is the man we have to kill… He looks tough but he’s only a guard captain. He shouldn’t be extraordinarily strong like the man in black armor Saelac has following him around. If I act quickly, he shouldn’t even see it coming.

The image flickers once, twice, and disappears. The assistant falls back into the shadows. Robin picks his pen back up and dips it into ink. “Now before you go and kill him-”

“We want to see Emile,” Iris interrupts. Robin raises his brow but doesn’t speak. “We don’t trust you. Before we go any further, we need proof that he’s alive.”

Robin nods and gestures again to the man behind him. He steps out of hiding once again and claps his hands. As he pulls them apart, there’s a flicker of light and then an image. It shows Emile tied to a chair with some blood dripping from his nose and on the corner of his mouth.

Istruan grits his teeth and shouts, “What did you do to him?”

The assistant returns to the shadows and Robin says, “He was unruly. I had him quiet in a couple of minutes. I hope you will overlook this little interaction. I, of course, have taken this to account and do believe I’ve made appropriate adjustments to the deal.”

Istruan’s face contorts but he asks, “What adjustments?”

Robin’s wicked grin comes back like a nightmare. “Before I go further, let me preface this. The deals I make are very fair. I may hold something over the other party in my deals but I always make the first offer fair. The offer I made yesterday has changed. You will now also end the life of the captain’s right-hand man, Vaal.”

That’s bullshit. I almost scream it aloud but I hold back my tongue. There were more people by the entrance than the last time. Even if these people don’t come close to comparing with Rune or those members of Krestfall, I can’t count on Istruan, Iris, or Emile making it out all right. Robin is also a complete mystery when it comes to strength.

“That wasn’t part of the deal!” Iris shouts.

He shrugs. “The offer was not taken when I first proposed it. Things have shifted since that time and now I am making new demands. Of course, I have adjusted it so that you only have to kill one more person rather than two more. This is my to you compensation for harming your friend. Now, please make haste. Those men draw closer to your hideout every waking moment.”

Istruan sits in a pew with his head down and hands clasped in prayer. He holds two necklaces in his hands, one with a raven and the other with a dove. The priest, after conversing with the other churchgoers, splashes Istruan’s hands with water. He grabs the dove and raven and intertwines their chains. He says prayers under his breath.

I watch in a corner of the church. I’ve seen this once before a couple of years ago. I couldn’t fall asleep no matter how hard I tried. I stepped out of the tent and, surprised to see the fire still burning, gathered some wood. I picked up every twig and branch I found on the ground.

My clothes were free of stains and tears but dust quickly settled on them. I brushed my pants and shoes clean but they wouldn’t stay that way for long. The further I went to collect firewood, the more dirt accumulated on them.

The fire was still burning so I went by the guidance of sound to the water. There was no clear path to the stream, and the light of the moon was weakened from the clouds, but I continued onwards. I walked toward the sound through bushes and bugs.

I reached the stream, tired and frustrated. I had nearly tripped twice. The bushes I waded through scraped my arms and scratched my clothes. The suffering was not worth the reward. As I used the water to clean my shoes and pants, I realized it would only cause my shoes to get dirtier and that the scratches to my pants could not be washed away.

That’s when I heard it. Down the stream, I heard the splash of water. Using the sound as a guide, I once again moved. When I reached the source, the clouds parted. The moon shone through and I stood at a loss for words. My master, with two intertwined necklaces, clasped his hands and closed his eyes.

It was as if I had seen something I wasn’t supposed to.

Istruan and I leave the church and meet up with the others outside. It’s nighttime. The seven of us, Istruan, Iris, Sio, Fia, Kat, Axel, and I wait at an intersection a block away from the church. Robin’s men make contact and take off. The next few minutes are spent in silence, Iris with her hand clamped over her wrist, and Istruan pacing back and forth. Kat and Fia lean on a wall with Kat messing with her gloves and Fia staring at her feet. Sio plays with his magic, continuously creating a flame and snuffing it out. Axel stands next to me with his hands in his pockets and his chin pointed at the sky.

Chains rattle in the distance. We break from our trances and spread ourselves out even more. Something I didn’t think was possible. Three distinct ‘clacks’ confirms our target. Axel, Istruan, and I round the corner first. Three men walk in our direction. I can’t make out the captain, they have their helmets on and at least two have markings. The shadow of the buildings makes it hard to discern the colors. However, The one with the spear inclines his head at the person in the middle. He’s our target.

Iris stays behind, as per the plan, while Sio, Fia, and Kat walk on the other side of the road eyeing us. I signal them by wiping my nose. They slow their pace and warm their hands. Istruan’s breath stops. The world seems to slow for a moment as we brush shoulders with the three men. I focus straight ahead keeping tabs on him from the corner of my eye.

The tension dies as we walk several steps past each other. Istruan breathes. “Stop,” says a voice behind us. Istruan’s eyes widen like a man who’s realized he’s just been stabbed. “There’s an active curfew on those under twenty. Why are you out here?”

A piercing scream reverberates throughout the dead streets. The captain and the two guards sprint toward the noise before we even turn around. Axel looks at me with confidence. We sprint ahead. The captain kneels beside Iris with his gloves off. He asks her what’s wrong to which she shakes her head and points in a random direction. He stands and begins speaking with the other guard.

Our informant nods. I snap my fingers and flame lights for a second. Axel pretends to bring Robin’s man down and I charge the other guard. Iris has a stone pillar erupt from the ground. It rams into the captain’s chest knocking him back a few feet. Istruan, though lagging a few feet behind, unsheathes a dagger and leaps on top of him. He aims at his exposed neck but the captain resists.

Istruan has a difficult time landing the finishing blow. My opponent also puts up a much better fight than I expected. I cast a stun spell at point blank but it has no effect. He manages to throw me off of him and takes a second to regain himself. Axel comes from the side and fires a blast of wind. The guard bears the brunt of the force and takes out his sword.

Iris casts two stone bullet spells. He dodges one and smashes the other. Iris and Axel stare in awe. He’s no ordinary guard. I hear a whisper and the ground under Axel gives way. He falls into a pit ten feet deep. Iris gestures at Axel and sprays mud at the man. I reach down as far as I can but Axel’s just out of reach.

One glance back and Iris lays writhing on the ground. She coddles her left arm, groaning. Knowing the guard’s strength, I slip a knife out and throw it at him. He moves but I manage to nick his arm. We go back and forth for a bit until I spot a glow behind him. “Do it!” I throw a barrier around and brace.

A bolt of lightning strikes him from the back stunning him long enough for me to close the distance. He falls to his knees and his head falls back. As I prepare to take him out of the fight, I hear a scream, “Captain!” I freeze in my tracks.

I see it now. The red markings, the long hair, even a hint of the scar on his forehead as I gaze through his visor. Something else catches my eye. A crest. A small crest on his armor. Something I recognized. It would explain why he was so much stronger than expected, why Istruan wasn’t flat on his back from a veteran, and why Robin wanted him dead so much. This man wasn’t a simple captain of the guard, but rather a retired imperial officer.

Where was Istruan? Why isn’t he here to finish this guy? Axel’s stuck in the hole, Iris is injured, Sio and the others are too far away, and Istruan is stuck in his own fight. No. I have to do it. I have to kill him. I will do what needs to be done.

I grab his head and expose his neck while winding my arm back. My hands shake and my vision blurs. My heart pounds against my chest, screaming for freedom and shattering my eardrums. My grip around the knife tightens until I can feel the blood resisting. I can’t do it. Where is it? When will it come? Come quickly. End this fight. Make me kill. Make me a murderer. And then, it comes. The feeling of a warm embrace.

My hand moves by itself. The knife touches his skin… And then an iron grip stops my arm. He punches me in my gut and flings me over his shoulder. He turns but staggers left. I try to rise. Before either of us recover, he gets blown away by a powerful gust of wind. Axel helps me to my feet. I unsteadily aim a fireball at him but he dashes away.

I want to rest and almost lay down when I realize something horrible. “Istruan,” I scream. “Stop!” But it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t hear me. He doesn’t hear anyone.

Istruan slams the guard’s head on the stone sidewalk, pushes his arms away, and drives the dagger into his throat. The guard tries to pry the dagger from Istruan’s hands but he’s too weak. He gurgles on his own blood for a few more seconds then falls silent. Istruan stands and looks at his hands.

The sound of metal and the increasing light forces us to move. Sio and Axel help Iris to her feet, Fia pulls Istruan away, and Kat supports me. As we go further and further away from the scene and I regain my senses, I’m disgusted and terrified. Not because of Sio’s actions, but because of my own.

It’s morning. We sit in the inn, recovering from our wounds. Fia and Elis tend to Iris while Sio assists Istruan. Blue Hair sits on the steps and watches us from over the railing. Aisha tries to get my attention but I brush her off. She goes and talks with Axel instead.

The doors of the inn burst open. We turn our heads and see one of Robin’s men carrying something in his hands, a box. He sets it on the table. “Robin is not happy,” he says before he leaves. We stare at it, almost too afraid to move. Sio cautiously opens the box. His eyes almost fall out of their sockets.

“What is it?” Istruan asks.

“Do not fail again,” Sio reads, “Because I have many more gifts to send.” He unsteadily reaches into the box and pulls out a piece of cloth stained red. As he unravels it, I release a breath. Fia lets out a quiet shriek and Kat looks away. It’s a finger. “I will cut off another if I do not hear of the captain’s death by ten, tonight.”

I take a deep breath. I denied it. I denied what happened yesterday. Yet, no matter how much I denied it, I knew the truth. It, didn’t move my hand... I did. But, none of that matters. It was the right thing to do. To protect everyone and save Emile, I had to kill him. I just didn’t act fast enough. I was so afraid of losing control, I allowed him to escape. I lost nothing, but Emile lost a finger.

We failed. I failed.

I won’t make the same mistake. Killing is wrong. He doesn’t deserve to die but neither does Emile. I will not kill because it’s easy or because it wants me to. I have to look for another way. But, if it doesn’t work, I will do what I have to. I will do what I need to. Whatever it takes to protect Aisha and everyone else.