Why didn't you step in? Why did you let her get hurt? Do you actually enjoy watching people in pain?

...

Heheheh. No answer? No rebuke? She was hurt because of you. You just stood and watched as she was beaten and thrown around. Did you like seeing her misguided trust? She had quite the high hopes that you'd help her. I wonder if that friend of yours whom you killed felt the same.

Shut up.

What? I struck a nerve did I? Don't like remembering your faults?

Why are you talking so much? Why are you out?

Because I sense it.

...Sense what?

Oh, my dear dear "host" you sure do love dancing around your own feelings. When you saw that woman, that third year beating around little Blue Hair, you really really wanted to kill her.

That's extreme.

Is it? Don't think that I haven't seen into some of those darker moments you try to hide. Don't think that this seal keeps the monsters away. I know you've killed for less than that. If I'm right, there was a story with a bear? Not a person I know, but still, quite extreme don't you think?

"Rainen!" Iris runs up to me, fury plastered everywhere. "Why did you just watch her do that to El?"

Please. Enlighten me as well.

I open my mouth several times trying to sound out the words. Nothing's coming out. I don't know how to respond. Why did I just watch?

"Answer me!" She grips me by the shirt collar and pulls. "What were you doing?"

"...Observing."

Her eyes widen in anger and earth starts flowing from her fingers, like rocks being strung along. They layer themselves on my uniform and start to spread. Just like I was a few moments ago, her mouth opens and closes trying to find the correct words to relay her jumble of emotions.

Suddenly, a quick spreading pain strikes from the side. It's Elis. She struck me with her fist. It hurts, but I deserve it.

"W-W-What kind of answer is that?" she says, keeping her hands balled into fists. "H-How could you just watch that happen? W-Were you that concerned with winning?"

"It was the least I could do."

"The least you could do? That was the least you could do?" Elis pulls back her arm. "You-"

"Iris! Elis! Stop this instant!" Miss Ein quickly pulls them away from me. I brush off the formed earth around my collar. "Are you going to visit Ellar or not?"

They both turn to each other then back to her.

"Then, if you wish to see her, don't get into any trouble."

"But Miss Ein!" Elis complains. "What about-"

"No ifs, and's, or buts! There will be no more conflict between you today do you understand?" her eyes dart back and forth. "Do you understand?" she says louder this time.

"Yes." they both respond with drooping heads.

"I shall speak to Rainen. Go on and see Ellar in the infirmary."

The two hesitantly, but at the same time eagerly, walk through the doors. They pay me a single parting glance as they move away from sight.

Miss Ein lets out a sigh and looks at me. Slowly but surely she begins to speak.

"Rainen. I understand that the scene was unexpected and that you could've been too stupefied to do anything. However, I do not believe that is the case. Considering what has happened in the beginning of the year, I cannot bring myself to think so."

"And you want me to tell you why I didn't help her?"

Miss Ein nods. "Yes. I won't punish you for anything if that's what you're wondering. While you're partners and should be working together, I did force you two to pair up. However, being there for one another, whether or not you enjoy the other's company, should be something focused on."

She takes a deep breath.

"Why didn't you assist your partner?"

"I don't know," I answer honestly. "I have no clue."

It's gone silent. It's not here right now.

She stares at me with a bewildered expression. "No idea of why you didn't save her?"

I shake my head. "I, I just didn't."

Miss Ein's eyes wander down and mine follow. Quickly, I separate my left hand from my right.

"I understand," she says. "I think it would be best if you avoided meeting with Ellar for now. Tomorrow is a weekend so take that time to recover. Maybe you'll be able to clear things up with her on Monday."

"Yes, Miss Ein." I answer. She nods and turns around, leaving me alone in the room before the arena.

--------------

"Hey, Rai." Axel throws up a hand in greetings. "I'm back."

"How's she doing?"

I asked Axel if he could go and check in on how Blue Hair was doing. If I went, I'd most likely end up causing trouble. Well, more like her friends would but I also think that Blue Hair doesn't exactly want to see me right now.

"She's fine. When Feno and I went to see her she was already back up. No serious injuries, just a few fractured bones. The nurse says that she's got some pretty strong defense. She should already be good as new."

He gives me a slight smile.

"I don't think she's mad at you Rai. But you shouldn't wait too long on that apology," he throws his arm around my shoulder and points up in the air. "See that? That's a day ending."

"It's the sky."

"No. It's a day ending. When that little orange ball over there rises again-"

"You mean the sun."

"When it rises again, it'll be a new day. That's when you should apologize. At night works too, though, very nice atmosphere."

I know that apologizing to Blue Hair is the best way to repair our almost nonexistent relationship, but I still don't know why I didn't do anything. Why I didn't go help her right away. I don't think I want to see her until then. "Why?"

"So you can make up duh!"

"Do you think she'd accept it?"

He wrinkles his brow, "She? I was talking about you. Though, saying it to Ellar is a good idea too."

What is he talking about?

"Don't worry Rai. I understand your thoughts. You're wondering why you should be apologizing to yourself right? Yeah, I know I'm right." he nods exaggeratedly then flashes me a weak smile. "Rai. I get that the past few weeks might've not been the best for you, but I know that you wouldn't watch while someone's just being beat like that. Heck! At the start of the year, you almost killed that one noble guy!"

He holds his arms out to balance himself as he spins down the steps.

"I didn't almost kill him."

"Yeah, you were knocked out by the headmaster. Still, the thing remains that you were the only person to do anything," he suddenly stops on the bottom step and tilts his head. "You get your hand checked yet?"

"Huh?" I look down to find I'm rubbing it. I immediately move my hand up my arm. "Nah. I'm just rolling up my sleeves."

"In Winter?"

"I like the cold. It's got a nice bite."

"Uh huh," he nods, unconvinced. "Rainen. Don't be beating yourself up over something you couldn't change. Else, you'll be saying sorry every time you fail to act on an outcome you could."

He throws up a hand as he walks away. "See ya tomorrow man!"

"Where are you going?"

"To get those Winter clothes, you keep telling me to buy!"

I watch as he leaves through the school gate. The sky is orange, tinged by the sun's diminishing strength.

Apologizing to myself huh?

...

-----------

The freezing air assails me at every side. Even I shiver at the winds that blow past. Black's a good color for staying warm but it doesn't do much when there's no sun to speak of.

Honestly, I'd love to not be hopping from rooftop to rooftop as it gets killer cold when all that wind's blowing against your skin but there isn't much choice. Hundreds of people still wander on the city streets. It's cold, yet, I can't blame them for still being out. It's only seven after all.

It does feel like it's been night for two hours already.

I continue jumping from building to building until I hear a scream come from one of the alleyways nearby. Changing my course, I can't help but wonder to myself. Why do people keep going through these things? I know that some people can't be bothered to take the long way around, but seriously, I can't always be there to help....

I puff air out of my nose. Stay focused, someone's in trouble. Save them this time.

I land on top of a stone building and lean over the edge. With the helpful light from the moon, I'm just barely able to make out various distinct figures. There're two bulkier figures on each side of the man and woman in the middle. The two who I assume to be the almost victims are pressed closely together. The man tightly holds onto the woman's hand and keeps her to his back.

"W-We'll give you all our money. D-Don't hurt us. We're just trying to go home." the man rapidly untangles a pouch from his waist and throws it on the floor in front of them.

One of the two shady figures move examine it.

"Don't!" the other screams. "I've heard that someone's been using a pouch with a smoke bomb inside it," he swings his dagger over to the man. "You open it and show us what's inside."

Wow. Guess my trick's become known.

As thug 2, the one holding the pouch is about to throw it back to the man, I drop down on the knowledgeable one and knock him out.

"W-What?" thug 2 begins to step back, but it's too late. Appearing behind him, I place my hand on his chest and sweep his legs out from under him. He frantically tries to stab me, only managing to nick me on the hand. He falls backward and I finish him with a stun. These guys, I'm glad that they're what I have to deal with on a regular basis.

"T-Thank you so much!" the man and woman both bow.

"We've heard some things about you but didn't believe them." the woman nods several times.

"We were in a bind there," he points to the pouch. "Y-You can have that as thanks."

I slowly lift it from the fallen criminal's hand and toss it in the air a few times getting a feel for the weight before passing it back over to the man. No smoke bomb in there, all coins.

"Don't want it," I say. "No reason for me to keep it either."

The woman almost says something but the man stops her. "Thank you again," he says. "You're as they say."

"I wish."

Running, I kick and leap from wall to wall until I have a grasp on the top of the building. Once again, I continue my way to the warehouse.

Upon seeing the familiar eerie building, I drop down from my elevated vantage point and walk through the door. Inside, sitting around, Anne and Garret are chatting while Allan idly reads a book in the back, next to the newbie who leans against the wall half asleep.

I suppose I should refer to him as the Twelfth.

"I'm here," I say, looking around. "Ready."

"Great." Allan nods without putting down the book. "You and the Twelfth will be out patrolling tonight."

He wakes from his half dedicated slumber and shakes himself. Walking over to me, he holds out his hand. "We haven't really introduced ourselves yet. I'm the newest member. I know you already know that but I can't give out my real name."

"Same," I say. "I'm the Thirteenth." I take his hand.

"Hey. You've got a cut there."

I peer down at it, "Not a big deal."

"Hold on. I'll heal it."

Water emerges from his hand and whirls around my hand. Like water washing away a mark in the sand, when the liquid is gone, the wound is closed leaving no signs of injury.

"Impressive," I say. "What kind of healing spell is that?"

"Not a spell I'd say."

"You're ability?"

He nods in confirmation, "Yup."

"Let's get going."

I turn around, ready to leave the room before a certain someone has the chance to stop me.

"Hold on!"

Darn. She caught me. I gesture for the Twelfth to move on and turn on my heel.

"Hey, Anne," I say holding up my hand. "Nice to see you here."

Placing her hands on her hips, she says, "What's up with your exaggerated greeting? Feeling better today?"

"Quite so. Just like a frog frozen in its favorite pond. I'm doing fine, thanks. I've gotta go patrolling now."

"Hold on!" she says again. "You're acting differently today. A lot spunkier than... usual," she averts her gaze as she says the last word.

"Anne, I know you're still worried about a lot of things, but I'm doing fine." I should distract her with another topic. "I just had some... trouble in school today."

She blinks twice, not quite expecting that answer huh?

"What kind of troubles? Want to tell me?"

Nosy.

I wonder how indebted she feels to me. Would she be doing this, asking this, if I hadn't been the one to take the beating after the auction or if I hadn't been the one to find her in the sewers under the guardhouse? I know for sure this wouldn't be happening if another member were here....

"It's personal. I'd like to keep it to myself."

"Ah. Right. I understand." she smiles dejectedly. "Well, good luck out there. I guess I'll go back and finish saying goodbye to Garret."

"Goodbye? Is he leaving the group?"

She shakes her head, "Nah, nothing like that. He's just going to visit some family he has in the Green City for a while. He wasn't supposed to be leaving so soon, but I guess a certain event kinda got to him."

I nod. That's why I've asked Aisha to visit. I'd take another break from school and the group, but I feel like I should stay on the job for a while. I glance over at Garret and he does a salute with two fingers.

Anne switches between us, "Want to go say something to him before he leaves?"

"No. I think he understands."

"Yeah. I know that he's done this already, but he really really wants to let you know he's glad that you found me and took me to safety."

"Least I could do."

Too bad I couldn't do it for someone else.

I walk to the door and use my ability to get on top of a building. The Twelfth is in view from where I am, his silhouette is easily spotted when he stands out so much from the usual flatness of the building tops and their chimneys.

Hopping around a few times, I stop to sit down where I once spoke with Anne about her friend, Bes. Like a bored child on a bench, I kick my feet in the air as I silently watch the commotion of the city. It's been around three weeks now and everyone's going on like it never happened.

I'm sure there are those who had family among the dead.

With nothing to stimulate my mind, I allow it to wander around aimlessly. I ponder hundreds of thoughts before discarding them seconds later. Eventually, I end up on an even that occurred earlier today. Why hadn't I helped Blue Hair?

Slowly, I close my eyes and bring myself back into that moment.

The moment when she threw her hand around the third year's ankle. The part where she was being kicked. The part where people, her friends, were yelling at me to help her. The part where she was finally put to sleep by a spell. The part where her hands wouldn't let go even after it.

Why did I just watch as she was hurt?

In my head, I replay those moments over and over and over. Tens, dozens of times, analyzing every single bit and piece. Yet, there was no reason as to why I stood there, nothing logical. Only a single thought was dominant every time, just out of my consciousness for a bit.

Whenever I thought of those moments, I had goosebumps on my arms. My teeth were silently chattering, my eyes were unable to blink, my breath was held short and I could not force a muscle to move.

The reason why I didn't help her, the reason why I simply watched, the reason, the reason....

I was too stunned by her to do anything.

The Blue Hair I know is weak and feeble. She has strong magic but can't control it well. She's timid and has no voice to fight back against those who would speak badly of her. She's socially inept and has no will power to endure harsh words or stares. She's shy and submissive to the point of ignoring her discomfort at times so she doesn't offend the other person.

Yet, when she was being stomped on and overwhelmed by the third year, I couldn't help but stare. I couldn't unfocus my eyes from her unusual bravery, her out of place strength.

While I hated every moment when the third year attacked her, kicked her arm as if it were a bug on her dress, I did not want the scene to end. If I jumped in and saved her, if I had stepped in and distracted the third year, then it would've been over.

What I saw, wasn't a stupid act made out of desperation, but one filled with determination. My master may at times call it the same thing, but I wouldn't.

I was enthralled by her unnatural persistence. Though she had been pushed back, put through cruel attacks meant to break her, she held on and wouldn't let go. Why? Why did she not give up even when I told her it was okay? Who had I been talking to, working with, looking at the whole time? I wonder, which one is the real her?

My guess is both.