《Re: Pessimist》Chapter 15: Liar Liar!
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The dragons weren't relieved when we entered the actual valley, there were a few paths guiding to different directions; one to a river, the other the actual city of dragons, the last one to a forest. Since Sophia instructed us to go west I went towards the lake.
Me and my sister took this time to really bond.
"First of all: what are you really Alfred? I don't want any bullshit." I've come to the realization that everyone I acquaint myself with is going to just lose any sense of composure they possess. My sister was all uptight and never swore, now she's demanding things from me while cursing. Grown a lot hasn't she?
Uh... Ewan.
"I'm a vampire lord, I was bitten-" I was more interesting in trying to fool my sister than listen to Sophia and my sister seemed more interested in cutting through my crap.
"The truth." Okay, so vampires are out of the picture.
"I'm a phoenix."
"No. More. Bull-crap." Alright so I guess she just doesn't trust anything I say.
"I'm a secret race known as British who has come from another world to carry out my country's will of going to several different places and to claim them in the name of our beloved queen." I think that might do the trick.
"Everything you said was all rubbish... just not the British or world part. It's not your race is it?" Okay, how the hell did she figure that shit out?
Because of this skill I was going to inform you of:
Skill NameLevelDescriptionClassification
Truth Intuition-[Passive]Due to constant exposure to lying, the user has developed a natural ability to discern a truth from liesRare
Remove it this instant, Sophia.
My powers are only limited to increasing and decreasing skill levels.
Well isn't this bloody lovely? I was going to have a lovely time lying to my sister and she is apparently immune to lying. I would say nothing but she wouldn't follow me and then Flare would bitch and moan over it and Flare bitching is literally the most annoying thing ever.
Thank you.
"Alright since you can apparently pick out the truth from whatever the hell I say, try to handle this: I'm a British guy from Earth who died in a forest fire by a hobbit goddess who just couldn't keep it in. I enslaved her and reincarnated into a child as you can see. Is that what you wanted to hear, love?" Sylvia was stunned, she literally stood still and just looked at me.
"You aren't lying."
I would like to know when in the hell I became Ewan's slave. We're more like partners!
A partnership in which you do everything I tell you and don't argue with it.
You're still co-dependent.
Not all the information you have is true, Sophia.
"Doesn't that mean you're God?" Bravo, give her a round of applause everyone. Sylvia finally knows what I really am.
"Yeah, now that we've sorted out my race can we move on?"
We moved on and made our way to the lake in peace and quiet; is what I'd like to say. Sylvia just couldn't hold back on asking questions.
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"What are you the God of exactly?"
"A bunch of shit."
"Do you know all the other Gods?"
"No."
"Why is that?"
"Because I'm the God of a bunch of shit and they hate me for that."
After we reached the end of the path Sylvia had gotten to her final question and now I understand why the hell Gods aren't on this planet. THESE PEOPLE CAN'T SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR FIVE MINUTES!
"What did you need the dragon materials for?" Oh, it looks like someone has become too curious.
"Personal reasons." She looked at me as if I was wrong for having a secret.
"Personal reasons? You can tell me I'm your sister."
"Personally, I wouldn't care if you were Hugh Laurie. Actually if you were Hugh Laurie I'd tell you but since you're not there's nothing that can be done."
When she had finally shut up I could examine our surroundings; a settlement by the river. The houses looked recently constructed and there wasn't any sign of military personnel in the area, but I suppose if you're good at leading a rebellion your headquarters won't look like headquarters.
It looks like a peaceful place. What could be so evil about children playing around and the people just going about their daily lives?
The fact that each of them could be highly trained rebels. Hang on a second... if they're rebels then there's an easy way to find out.
"Sylvia, that local man over there seems rather knowledgeable. Tell him that you are thinking of moving in and that you're worried because of rumors that rebels are hiding in the area." I instructed her she returned a puzzled look but shrugged and we walked ahead to the man in peasant's clothing. A lot of dragon clothing is made out of scales I'm beginning to wonder they kill one another for materials.
I see what you're doing... you're finally not being violent for once.
Huh, what's going on? Ewan's not being violent, what is he doing?
Just watch.
Before she approached she grabbed my hand and held it. "Excuse me sir, may I bother you for a moment?" The man was standing in front of his house when he turned to look at us I could finally get a look at his face; kinda looked like John Newman.
"Why of course, madame." He had a polite smile, I never like polite people.
"Me and my son were planning on moving into the area, but I'm slightly concerned due to the rumors that rebels were within this area and particularly this settlement. May I ask for the insight of a settler such as yourself?" I'm actually kinda proud of her, Sylvia is a natural liar!
"No need to worry yourself miss! This area is completely free of them, a safe haven if you will from both the toils of civilization and their opponents!" At his words Sylvia let out a polite smile.
"I thank you for your time. Let's go, Alfred." I had to let out a childish smile before we turned out any walked away, once we walked back out of the settlement Sylvia let go of my hand and folded her arms. "Rebels are in there."
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"Not a bad job, mum." Sylvia just looked at me condescendingly, she seems to be able to take a joke now!
"I thought he'd be more sympathetic to a mother." At that point Sylvia pondered on a thought while staring down at me. "You seem to have been aware that I can tell when people are lying and telling the truth... before I was aware of it."
"You think I told you the truth out of the goodness of my heart? You have a skill which lets you tell when people are lying." Well it was the cold hard truth, although this truth should actually be awesome.
"Well... now that we know they're rebels are you going to...?" Sylvia seemed rather weary of the fact I slaughter people on a daily basis.
"No, of course not." She was relieved. "We're going to see if they can offer us a better deal for killing the other people."
To do that you'd need to see their leader and I'm sure their leader won't just come out because you ask nicely.
I have another idea.
This one won't be as nice as the last one will it?
Oh please I'm not going to harm anyone yet, I still need to see the offer they give us. If this is a settlement that has been completed recently then the leader is obviously in one house. I just need to find that house. The option available is to use wildfire and just search every house before people can notice.
This is weird... why are you being so nice?
Flare I'm not the devil. Just because I don't value life or anything for that matter doesn't mean I lack self-restraint... for some things. Besides if she can offer me an astral rejection field I'm satisfied.
So I searched every house, it turns out that the seventh house to the east is actually where the later dragon princess in it was pretty easy to tell with the literal crown she had on her desk, so I placed my sister in that house and decided that I might as well have some fun while I was there.
I ran around and allowed people to taste some royal elven wine, AKA I basically intoxicated everyone in the settlement.
With my work done I returned to discuss a deal with the late dragon princess.
She's pretty easy to discern seeing as how she is the only blonde person in the entire settlement, like everyone else she was dressed as a peasant but I really doubt that hides she's a princess.
When I disabled wild-fire everyone was confused; the princess was confused, Sylvia was confused, Flare was confused to my self-restraint, white-haired Ryan Tedder over there--I MISSED ONE! Oh well,this might be fun.
"Who are you people? How did you get in?" They both drew their swords, so to counter I drew Flare's weird stick and Sylvia was probably going to use magic.
"Well as you can see she's David Blaine and I'm her assistant!" Everyone always looks so confused when I say Earth things. "Wankers. To think I was going to barter with you."
"What my brother means is that we were sent here by the Draconic military to well... end your rebellion. My brother and I had only heard the military's story and we were curious to your side." Well that's one way to put it. I don't know why they put their weapons down, my sister is either that charismatic or we just aren't that threatening.
People appearing out of nowhere is definitely threatening.
Not if they look like us.
So they told us their story, after they tried to lie to us of course. It turns out that the princess was against the king's ruling, something about a tyrannical rule where people were treated like shit and even the civilians were treated like shit. Nobody really attempted to do anything since the king's army was damn strong and the basically got all the good stuff. So we're dealing with a militant tyranny... fucking lovely.
The princess was all about love and hope and that stuff... I will be honest I stopped paying attention because I was listening to the drunkards outside fuck around.
"Those ingredients they promised you; are you planning on making a wishing ritual?" Now the cat's out of the bag. Thanks princess.
"Well pretty much." They were unnerved by my desire, I'm pretty sure that they can do without them.
"What do you wish for?" The princess asked.
"I want to become a giant robotic dragon with a unicorn horn and instead of scales I will have fur." For some reason the princess was just frozen as soon as I stated that. It wasn't that difficult of a concept.
"You're not lying." Sylvia muttered, "he's really not."
I wonder what you would have wished for if I gave you the ability to transform into one.
What? You were going to give him that ability?
Well I was desperate and he asked for it and I had no idea if he was being serious or not.
If you did give me it we wouldn't be here.
Fair point...
"We can provide those and anything else you desire." The princess stated, alright it looks like things are looking up!
"Astral rejection field?" I don't know why but everyone was taken aback by my second demand.
"Uh... sure." They've agreed and they're surprised by it... how easy is it to get an astral rejection field?
Like so easy, you've just been out of civilization for a while.
Fuck, well I guess this way I get everything I want.
"Alright that's all. Let's go finally murder!" I jumped up and made my way towards the door, Sylvia however didn't follow me. "Staying behind?"
"Weren't you paying attention? I'm helping out with healing some of their wounded soldiers." I suppose I didn't pay attention, but all in all I suppose I win since I can finally walk alone!
To murder some people yet again.
I should remember that I have voices in my head.
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