《Re: Pessimist》Chapter 14: A Quest!
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"You're not the dragon elder are you?" A rather bulky man was stood in front of us, he reminds me of the Greeks with those weird tunics although they do look kinda bad-ass with the scales. His hair was white which is basically the only colour I've seen around here and his haircut sort of reminds me of Tom Baker.
Of course the more important thing is that he isn't accepting our bullshit.
"You're not the doctor are you?" He became puzzled by my question which is kind of what I expected honestly.
"You're both royal elves, that I can clearly see..." he moved his eyes between me and sister. Oh lord is this guy really thinking what I think he's thinking?
"Yes we're siblings, but I'm not legal yet so she's waiting." He seems rather taken aback, I think that means I was right on the spot.
"Wait what is that supposed to mean?" Sylvia lightly chuckled and looked at both me and the dragon leader. Then like magic it looked like the final piece of the puzzle clicked. "OH GOD ALFRED YOU ARE DISGUSTING! OUR PARENTS AREN'T EVEN RELATED! THAT'S A MYTH! DID YOU REALLY THINK WE HAD THAT WEIRD CUSTOM IN OUR SPECIES? WHAT KIND OF SPECIES PROMOTES INBREEDING?"
Hang on a moment, I think two little shits told me that royal elves were inbred.
We thought it was true, everyone says it! Have you seen how similar they look?
Okay Flare's racist, what's your excuse Almighty Magical Intelligence?
... Not all the information I have is true I've learnt.
"Alright so screaming sister aside, I need some things from you." I announced to the leader. "A dragon's milk, a dragon's egg, a dragon's tear, a dragon's blood and a dragon's heart."
You don't need a dragon's heart.
That's just for fun.
"So let me get this straight; you walk in and demand from me things that are related to the biology of a dragon... one of which I would have to kill a dragon to get. Did you think we'd just hand them over to you even for a price?" He makes a fair point.
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"Honestly I could kill you all, try to find everything and just be done with it but this seems more practical. Since you know I'm not the bloody elder then you must know that I have the power known as void, which means I can actually kill all of you." Hang on a moment... "Actually the other thing seems more practical, this is ethical."
"Alright." Who knew that would be easier than I anticipated? I've really grown as well, I'm threatening people's entire lives instead of just straight-out murdering them. This has been a win-win for everyone, just not the dragons. "We'll get you what you desire."
"Actually, I was expecting more of a quid pro quo sort of situation. Any sort of really bad issue I can deal with in return?"
Ewan are you asking for more work? Well in all honesty I'm hoping he'll send me to a place where I can find an astral rejection field. And if he doesn't you're willingly doing a good thing. Yes... threatening them into my own desires and making them submit out of fear is a saint's work, isn't it? Oh, let me guess you really enjoy the work of Hitler, don't you Flare? Does Stalin's purges just set your heart aflutter? I've noticed that all our conversations seem to include with me being insulted in some way. Well look at the ego on you. Can you guys stop arguing for a minute? "The late dragon princess is leading a rebellion to take down the king, if you could deal with her--" "Sold! Alright, let's go Sylvia." We made our way out this weird tent, I'm starting to think dragons are nomads now. Sylvia however began talking after her sudden silence. "So Ewan... did you think that we were going to... you know?" Oh now I understand why she went silent. "Entirely."
When we did make it out of the tent I stopped paying attention to Sylvia since basically every dragon in the vicinity had stared at us like we were the antichrist. They eavesdropped, how rude. "This entire time-Oh my god these people look terrified." Sylvia so kindly pointed out. "This is new, I don't normally see the terrified faces of the lives I've threatened." Isn't it nice? It was at that point Sylvia had probably realized something that should have been obvious this entire time. "You are a disturbingly sick monster!" I don't think she understands what happened when I burnt down an entire building just because I wanted a book. If I was willing to do that I'm sure it's a short leap to genocide. "I actually have no words, I feel like I explained this to you." "You told me that you were some sort of weird dragon with fur that burnt down villagers. I'm sure when he said you weren't a dragon elder it was obvious that you weren't a damn dragon." I forgot that she isn't as idiotic as everyone else. "Well if you want to know what I'm actually am then I'll explain on the way to this dragon princess thing, if I don't bring you my slave will go fully bitch-mode." I'm at best just going to completely lie again. "And leave all these people here in fear of being killed?" Sylvia is very persistent on being nice. I have had my faith restored in this woman now. Because she disagrees with me? Really Flare? That's just childish. Regardless, just head straight, the late princess' headquarters should be west after you exit out of a crevice. "They're going to be like that either way, so let's just go." She gave a slight nod, albeit reluctant but at least we finally are moving on from this weird place! Also Ewan, the dragons aren't nomads this is a military checkpoint and you're basically at the gates of the valley of the dragons. Their entire civilization is from this point forth. They're rather lightly dressed for a military checkpoint... oh right, scales. Also Ewan... Due to recent events the following titles have been gained: - Goddess of Death - Goddess of Fear - Goddess of Hatred - Goddess of Strife Oh wow... so just an average conversation of death and fear with my sister and I'm suddenly the goddess of a lot of bad things. Actually you've become so associated with death throughout the dragon populace that you achieved the Goddess of Death title. You've basically put the dragons in a constant state of fear from your threatening, ergo Goddess of Fear. Goddess of Hatred is self-explanatory by the last two. For Goddess of Strife, you are basically the living incarnation of strife so I'm surprised you didn't get it sooner. Actually I'm surprised you're not a horseman of the apocalypse, you seem perfect for the job. How the hell does the Dragon populace already know about me? One of the dragons must have been telepathic and transmitted everything you said. I took a five second nap... FIVE SECONDS and then I just suddenly find I'm more powerful. So I just suddenly see that I am basically Eris, Thanatos and Phobos combined. WHAT DID YOU DO EWAN? I had a chat with my sister. Interference from Goddess was denied due to Faithlessness Interference from God was denied due to Faithlessness Interference from Goddess was denied due to Faithlessness Interference from God was denied due to Faithlessness Yup, they're pissed. So are the Gods pissed because I am suddenly becoming the god of everything? Pretty much. We shouldn't visit soon, they're going to be really pissed we're stepping into their territory. Alright, now onto finding that dragon princess!
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