Chapter 15

Moonlight Drifters: Reverie

Only in the darkest of hours, you can see them. Those lights in the sky. Since time immemorial, men have used these lights as a guide. Perhaps, that’s exactly what they are. Perhaps they exist to lead us out the dark. At least that’s what my dad believed. He told me if I ever felt lost or sad to look up at the stars, they will show me the path.

But no matter where I look all I see is vast and suffocating darkness. It was as if the world was shallow by a black void.

“Hello?! Is anyone there?!” I shouted as loud as I could hoping someone would respond. But there was only a deafening silence.

“Please, someone respond! I’m… I’m scared.”

“….” The silence dug into my mind and slowly ate at my sanity.

“Please, someone say something. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

Huh, anymore? Could it be I’ve been feeling lonely this entire time?

“I guess that explains everything.” I let out a pitiful laugh while trying to hold back my tears.

Why else would I go through hell to get back a crumbling store? But I doubt this hole in my heart will go away even if I succeed. I doubt it’ll ever go away. But I always knew this. I know I’ll never see my parents again. So why do I keep struggling when I know everything, I do is pointless? This isn’t a fairy tale where willpower is all you need to achieve your dream. My father is a perfect example of how cruel reality is.

My father truly loved this world and he did everything he could to make it a better place. And how does this world repay him? By gifting him a cold and heartless death. I never saw my father's corpse, but I bet he was still smiling even at the end. That just how much he cared about this world.

What did you find so beautiful about this world, dad? Even now, I can’t help but wonder.

"If you want to know than open your eyes."

A warm and gentle voice reverberated through the black void. I could feel the ache in my heart fade and the black clouds in my head subside. There’s only one person capable of doing this.

“Dad?”

“Open your eyes, Catherine, I want to show you something beautiful.”

I follow his order and open my eyes. I was greeted by the moonlight which snuck in through the small gap in my curtains. The ghostly light illuminated the dust particle floating about in my gloomy dark room.

“It was just a dream?” My heart sank into my stomach. “It felt so real. It was like you were there with me in that void.”

I stretch my hand out as if I was still in the dream, reaching for my father. As my arm sank into the darkness, I notice in the corner of my eye a petal floating around in my room. The petal was so white I almost thought it was a piece of the moon. The petal landed in my hand. The moment it nestled in my palm it began to glow green. The brilliant emerald light chased away the darkness and ensnare me in its glow.

“Are you trying to tell me something?” I don’t know why, but it felt like it was communicating with me.

The petal floated away as if it were responding to my question. It drifted towards my slightly ajar window and landed on the ledge.

“You want me to follow?” The wind begins to pick up. It beat on my window like it were urging me to come outside.

“Fine.” I push aside my curtains and was nearly blinded by the moonlight. The moon strangely felt brighter than usual.

A cool breeze washes over me the moment I open the window. The wind carried the flower petal outside my room and out into the moonlit town. While still giving off a green glow, the petal dance in the sky like a fairy in a children's tale.

“I want to join. I want to fly too.” I climb out my window trying to get as close as possible to the sky. I carefully made my way up the building while making sure my pj's didn't get caught on nails or anything else that sticking out of the store. The petal floated just above me as if it trying to motivate me to keep moving.

With the help of my little fairy encouraging me I was easily able to scale the building and what waited for me at the top was something truly breathtaking.

The moon appeared to hover just over the city, bathing the entire town and pale light. Countless flower petals orbited around the moon. Each one gave off an emerald glow that imbued the already incredible view with an otherworldly beauty.

“Breathtaking, isn’t it?” The voice snaps me back to reality. A man wrapped in shadows stood at the edge of my roof basking in the moonlight. “I looked up at the sky my entire life and yet somehow, I’m always amazed by what I see.”

How strange. There’s a man I don’t know standing on my roof, yet I’m not scared at all. In fact, just being in his presence made me feel warm and safe.

“Who the hell are you?” I lower my voice to make myself sound threatening. But the man sighs in admiration as if my voice was a soothing melody to him.

“It's been such a long time since I heard your voice, Catherine.” The man slowly turns around to face me.

“No. it can’t be. It can’t.” I back away unable to accept what I was seeing. The man looked exactly like my father. He had the same gold glowing eye, brown skin, innocent calming smile, he even wore the same filthy overalls my dad wore to tend to the garden.

“My god. Deborah, look at how much our little girl has grown.” Tears stream down the man’s face as he approaches me.

“Stop it! Stop acting like my father! You’re not him, you’re not!!” I tried to back away, but the only thing behind me was a three-story drop. Although I jumped off higher buildings for some reason, I couldn’t muster up the courage to leap off this one. Maybe it because I didn’t want to part from the guy that looked so much like my father.

“Catherine...” Suddenly, the man was in front of me, his arms open wide. I closed my eyes and brace myself for his attack. But instead, I was wrapped in a warm embrace. “I missed you so much.” I could feel the man’s body tremble as he hugs me tightly. I wrapped my arms around him and rest my head on his stomach.

“What a nostalgic scent.” The smell coming from the man reminded me of the bright and happy days I spent with my family. There’s no way anyone can replicate this smell. “Dad, is it really you?”

“Yes baby, it’s me.” My dad hugs me tighter and I clung to his clothes making sure he was truly here.

“Where were you?! I thought… I thought you were dead!!” My vision became blurry as my tears flowed down my cheeks.

“Catherine.” My dad wipes the tears away from my eyes and knelt next to me.

“I’m so, so sorry Catherine. I know you’ve been in so much pain, and I would’ve done anything to be there for you. Even now, I don’t want to let go of you, but I’m afraid I don’t have much time.”

“You’re, leaving me again?! You just came back, why are you leaving?!”

“I’m sorry Catherine. But your mother waiting for me.”

“Mom? But she’s…” I took a step back and stared at the flower petals floating around my father.

“No. It can’t be. Are those my drifter plants?”

“….” My dad didn’t respond to my question. He just looked at me, sadness clear visible in his eyes.

“I see. I get it now.” My body shook uncontrollably as I laugh. “This isn’t real, is it? This is all just a dream.”

“Does it matter if it's a dream? I came here because you called for me.”

“Yea? Well, you should’ve come when mom was crying for you. Do you have any idea how horrible it is watching your mother slowly die and being unable to do a damn thing to help?”

“No. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you been through.” My dad reaches for me, but I slap his hand away. He looked down at his hand hurt as if I broke it. “I don’t think I ever told you that I was raised in an orphanage, did I?” My dad paused waiting for me to respond to his question, but I had no intention of speaking with a figment of my imagination.

“The living condition there was awful. The place was packed with kids who just lost their family in the war, and the adults only care about what little money the country gave them so they could buy alcohol or women.”

My dad laughs like he was looking back at a fond memory.

“Yea. It was pretty bad. I remember sneaking out late at night and stealing whatever I could find just so I could buy some scrap to eat.”

“You used to steal?” I broke my silence, surprise that my father who I thought was purer than snow committed a crime.

“Yup, your old man was quite the criminal back in the day. I would do anything I could to survive. Back then, I only care about living to see another day. That is until I met your mother.”

My dad's expression became warmer and gentler when he mention mom.

“To me, she was like a star. She showed me just how beautiful this world is and that there’s more to life than simply surviving. And when I found out she was pregnant with you I decided I wanted to show you and everyone else just how beautiful life is.”

“Everyone, huh? See? That’s the problem. If you weren’t so busy trying to play the hero, mom would still be here. I hate to break it to you dad, but there’s nothing beautiful about this world. It’s ugly and cruel. The only people that can thrive here are shitty people who will happily step on others just to get ahead.”

“I know you don’t believe that.”

“Yea? Well, I do believe. I’m no longer the innocent little girl who used to cling to you, dad. I’m a shitty and selfish person. I can’t even begin to count how many people I killed just by ignoring their cry for help."

I was right about you, kiddo.

My hands tremble as my mind was assaulted by Crook’s words.

“If you honestly believe that, then why did you save that woman and her son from Dante? You even gave her the money you risk your life to steal, why is that?”

“I… I don’t know why I helped her.” I thought about the emaciated woman and her son who desperately clung to her.

“You can tell she was giving all her food she could find to her son. She was… she is a good person. She was even willing to sacrifice herself for someone as shitty as me. And for some reason, it made me mad.”

“Why did her act of kindness anger you?” My dad reaches for my shoulder. I would’ve slapped it away if I wasn’t busy wiping the tears from my eyes.

“I don’t know… I don’t know why it pissed me off. It just… it just…” I could feel a lump growing in my throat as I continue to talk.

“That kid, the way he clung to his mom. It reminded me of myself. I’m sure she’s the only person the kid got in the world and if he loses her. He’ll be all alone. Just like… just like me.” Unable to hold back my tears anymore, I rested my head on my father’s stomach and silently wept.

“You’re not alone Catherine. You’ve never been alone. You've just been in the dark for too long to have noticed. And I’m here to show you the light.” My dad grabbed my hand and gently led me towards the edge of the roof.

“Where are we going?”

“I want you to see what I see. What I've always seen.” His eyes were shining like they always had whenever he looked up at the sky. “Are you ready?”

We stood on the ledge of the building. As I stare at the darkness below, I remember the tales of siren leading sailors to their watery demise. I always wonder how they fall for such an obvious trick. But as I stand here just one step away from falling, I’m beginning to think they took the plunge knowing it was a trap, but hoping whatever was waiting for them at the bottom was better than the world they live in.

“I’m ready.” Holding hands, we leaped off the building. Rather than plummeting to the earth, we rose higher in the sky.

“What? You can fly?!”

“No, we can fly.” My dad let’s go of my hand.

“Whoa! Dad?! Dad!” I desperately try to grab his hand scared I would fall. Yet somehow, I was hovering in place. The glowing flower petals dance around me as if they were cheering for me.

“Is this really a dream?”

There’s no way any of this could happen in the real world. Yet I can smell the fresh air and feel the cool wind brushing against my skin.

“Does it matter if this is a dream or not? Right now, we’re together again and that’s all that matters to me. Don’t you agree?”

“Yea…” My dad smiles softly at me and then looked up at the sky.

“C’mon. what I want to show you is high up.” My dad flew higher in air. I followed right after him. Flying was surprisingly easy. It was almost like second nature.

“This is insane! I’m seriously flying!” I twirl and dance along with the flower petals as we rose higher. I stretch my arm hoping I’ll be able to touch the stars. Yet, no matter how high we climb we never got close to them. We continue to rise until eventually the sky and the clouds vanish. There’s was nothing but a vast sea of darkness. The only light we had was from the emerald glow coming from the petals.

“This is it.” My dad suddenly stops and turns towards me.

“This is where you wanted to take me? But there’s nothing here.”

“Below you.” I follow his advice and looked down. I gasp at what I saw. It was like the moon, but much, much bigger. It felt like it would consume me if I looked at it any longer.

“What is that?”

My dad looks down at the gigantic blue sphere with a warm smile. “That is our world.”

“Our world? No way, it can’t be. It so huge…”

I always knew the world was big, but I could never imagine it was this massive. It’s somewhat disheartening to look at. My home that I’ve been struggling to get back was nowhere to be seen neither was the town I spent my whole life in. They might as well be a grain of sand on a beach that stretches for eternity.

“We really are small, aren’t we? We’re like ants pointlessly crawling through dirt unaware how insignificant we truly are.”

“In the grand scheme of things, we are small, but we’re far from being insignificant. Every single one of us can change someone's life and the environment around us. And when we come together, we can change the very world.”

The moment those words left his mouth, I notice a small bright light coming from the giant blue sphere floating in the endless black void.

“Looks like a star doesn’t it?”

“Ah. Y-Yea.” I was somewhat shaken that he knew what I was looking at with his back turn to me. “What is that?”

“Look closer, and you’ll see.”

I follow my dad's instruction and focus on the small light. Begin to grow brighter the longer I looked at it. until eventually, everything around me was consumed by the light.

“And, what happened after that? C’mon, tell me already mom!”

When the light faded, I found myself in a small room. A little boy bounces up and down on the bed trying to get the woman sitting next to him to finish the story.

“We’ll continue tomorrow. You should get some sleep.”

The boy puffed out his cheeks disappointed

“Sorry, that isn’t going to work on me today.” The woman places the book down and turn the lamp off.

“Hey, mom.”

“Yes, sweety?”

“Do you think that cat girl is still alive?”

“Catgirl…” I click my tongue annoyed. My dad covers his mouth to suppress his laughter, but it seems pointless as they couldn’t see us, even though we were standing in the center of the room.

“I forgot how much you hated being compared to a cat.”

“I’m pretty sure everyone would hate to be compared to one. If they had to deal with kids continuously treating them like an animal. Some of those brats went even as far as trying to feed me a dead rat and a raw fish.”

Just remembering how bad I used to get bully when I was a kid made me shudder.

“Anyway, aren’t these the two that help me after Dante sent me flying out of a building.”

“They look much livelier, don’t they?”

“Yea, they look so much different.” Back when I first met them. They looked like they were barely clinging to life. Now, they looked like any other healthy family you see roaming the street.

“Of course, she’s fine. She’s your hero, right?”

“Of course, and heroes never lose!” The little boy shouted while practically hopping out of the bed.

“Exactly.” The mom places her hands on her son to calm him down. “I’m sure she out there somewhere helping others.”

“God, this is embarrassing. I’m starting to see why Dante doesn’t like people calling him a hero. I’ve grown used to being called ever insult in the dictionary. But being looked up to and praise is something new to me.

“There no reason to feel embarrassed. It’s because of you that they’re able to live happily like this.”

“Because of me…” I watched in silence as the two laughed without a care in the world. Despite all, they have been through. All the pain they suffer. There wasn’t a hint of despair on them. Rather, there was a light in their eyes, and it shines as bright as any star.

I was so enamored by the warm light that I didn’t notice we were once again floating in the dark abyss staring at the small light coming from our world.

“You led them out of the dark and allow them to shine. And because of you, they can help others out of the dark.

Suddenly, more light appear. They spread across the world like a wildfire.

“And if we continue to help and guide each other, we can create something truly beautiful.”

Looking at the view. I finally understood why my father was always trying so hard to help others. Why he always smile despite how cruel the world is, and I finally understood what he’s been looking at this entire time. A world of light, a Kingdom of Stars.

“It beautiful.” I could feel the warmth coming from the light. It almost felt like they were embracing me.

“Remember this, Catherine. Remember that no matter how dark it gets there’s will always be a light to guide you.”

As I continue to stare in awe at our world. I notice the green lights drifting around us slowly begin to fade one after the other.

“Looks like my time is up.”

“You’re leaving?”

My dad looked down at me wearing a sad smile. I knew this was coming. I knew that I would eventually have to wake up from this dream. But not now, not yet.

“Can’t you stay a bit longer?”

“I can’t. Your mom is waiting for me.”

“Then take me with you! We can be a family again!”

“Catherine….” My dad called out to me weakly. I could tell he was close to breaking. If I push a bit more, I'm sure he'll give in.

“I can’t take you with me. You still have a purpose in this life.”

“And what purpose is that, to suffer?” I grabbed my chest. I could feel a sharp pain in my heart. It felt like someone plunged a knife deep inside me, deep enough to even pierce my soul.

“There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of you and mom, and it hurts. It hurts when I wake up in an empty home. It hurts when I see other happy families, it hurts when I think of you and mom. It hurts that I’ll have to go through another day knowing you no longer exist in this world.

Once again, my vision became blurry as I pour my heart out. I could hear soft whimper coming from my dad. His hands tremble violently as he squeezes my hands.

“Please, Dad,” I spoke softly, trying my hardest to keep my emotions in check. “I can’t take this pain anymore.”

“Yes, you can.” He lets go of my hands and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight embrace. “And not only can you endure it, but you can overcome this pain”

“How, how do you know?”

“Because I’ve always been watching you, and I know you have the strength to overcome anything that comes your way.” Suddenly, my father pushes me away. “All you need to do is believe in yourself.” He whispered. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he waves goodbye.

“Dad! No!!” I tried to regain my balance, but whatever force that allowed me to fly vanish, thus I plummeted back to my world.

“Don’t leave me, Dad!” Desperate I reach for my father who figure was getting smaller.

“Remember this Catherine.” Somehow, I was still able to hear his voice as clear as day even though we’re so far apart. “Remember that you’re a star too, you can shine just as bright.”

.

.

.

I open my eyes and saw my hand was reaching for the familiar ceiling.

“It was just a dream?” Crushed, tears fell down my face that was already wet with tears. Just as my heart was about to collapse from disappointment. I notice my bed was covered with white flower petals.

Are these from my drifters? But I left them downstairs how did they…? It can’t be was that dream real?

(Does it matter if this a dream or not. We’re together again and that’s all that matter to me.)

My dad’s words echo in my head.

You’re right, dad. The only thing that matters is we got to see each other again. And I finally got to see what you see. A kingdom of Stars.

“I wonder will I ever be able to see the world the same way you do?” I sat in the dark tormenting by this question until my room begins to grow brighter as the sun slowly rose in the sky.

“I won’t know if I don’t try.” Gathering my resolve, I hopped off my bed and threw on some random clothes. I made my way downstairs heading straight for the exist until I notice something in the corner of my eye.

One of the plants I left on the kitchen table has died. One by one, the blackened petals fell off the limp flower.

It was just getting ready to bloom last night. How did it die? Was this the price it had pay for showing me that dream? If so then, “Thank you.” I clasped my hand together and offer the flower a silent prayer. “I promise that’ll I never forget what you have shown me.”

After I finish my prayer. I headed outside. Vowing to bury the flower once I came back.

It was still quite early in the day. Early enough that the city looked like a ghost town. Naturally, there isn’t much to do except wait for the stores to open, and since I was broke, that really wasn’t an option for me. The only thing I could do was sleep until Bella threw something at my window and shouted it was time to train.

And yet despite having nothing to do and nowhere to go my body continues to move forward with a clear destination in mind. The alley where Crook killed all those men. Obviously, I didn’t want to take a step near the place. But I had to see if Crook was still alive.

I took a deep breath when I step on the street where the massacre happen. I knew I wasn’t ready to see all those mangle bodies. But I push forward, nonetheless. When I turn the corner I immediately froze in place.

This close off space should’ve been littered with bodies, but it was completely empty. I couldn’t even find a speck of blood.

“Was it all a dream? No, it was real.” I can still remember their screams so clearly. It was worst than my darkest nightmare. There’s no way any of that was fake. So then, what happened to the bodies?

Did the soldiers take them away? No, I doubt that. They would’ve sealed off the area so they could investigate the crime scene. But this looks like someone was trying to hide the evidence. Which only could mean one thing.

“So, you’re still alive Crook?” I felt a mixture of emotions. Happy that I didn’t sully my hands with his blood and disappointment that he was still out there.

I walk into the alley looking for anything that Crook’s goons might’ve missed. Eventually, I notice a locket hanging out of a trashcan. At first, I thought it belonged to the noble due to how expensive it was. But to my surprise when I open it there was a picture of the adventurer in it. There was a little girl standing by his side hugging his arm. On the bottom of the picture, it simply said, “stay safe Dad.”

“Dad, you said I still had a purpose in this life. I wonder if this is it.” I close the locket and held it close to my heart.

I don’t what anyone else to go through the same pain I’ve been through. So please dad. Give me the strength to help people like her.

I ball my hand into a fist and struck the wall near me. The wall easily crumbles and fell apart, creating a small dust cloud. When the dust clear there’s was only a huge hole where my fist struck. It almost looked like the wall was hit by a cannon.

I looked down at my hand surprise. The usual bruises I get whenever I attempt this technique was nowhere to be seen, and the aura wrapped around my hand was quickly dissipating.

“Alright, Crook.” I tightly clench my hand. Fatigue swept through my body, but at the same time, I felt a new strength flowing through me. “You wanted to see my potential. Next time we meet I’ll show you.”