Chapter 2 — Wounded Pride

Xyn was lost in his thoughts as he wandered the town’s pathways. What Grandma Kaylie had told him was just too incredible to accept.

Of course, as a weakling, he had long ago learned not to wander the town while being lost in his thoughts. Which made it all the more dismaying when he realized too late that he had blundered into cousin Pang’s hunting group returning from their morning hunt.

“If it isn’t the embarrassment of the clan. Back early from playing with flowers? Even your delicate master must find you a waste of her time,” Pang sneered and shifted the field-dressed gazelle on his muscled shoulder. “Must be nice not having to earn your keep. Though my pride couldn’t take being excluded from the hunts.”

Suppressing a snarl, Xyn pushed down his anger, much of which was directed at himself for his stupidity in even allowing this encounter to happen. Taking on the three Cloudstrike and two Bloodfang hunters that made up Pang’s hunting party would just result in his further humiliation, but that didn’t mean he would just slink away. A Kyrren without pride was no longer Kyrren.

“I’ve met my weekly quota, Cousin Pang,” Xyn huffed and the five teen hunters broke out in mocking guffaws.

“Oh, that. Yes, we all saw that strider yearling you hunted for your coming-of-age.” Pang showed his fangs. “Who hunts a yearling to prove their adulthood?”

All five of the hunters were sneering now.

“Scouts’ skills and expectations are different than that of hunters, as you well know, Pang,” Brother Quen’s voice cut through the tension as he approached. “I witnessed my brother’s hunt and his skilled use of his Path to lure the yearling from the herd and safely dispatch it. The elder observing the hunt was likewise impressed. Demonstrating wisdom is as much a part of the coming-of-age hunt as demonstrating one’s strength.”

Quen defending him like an older brother while dragging a just-hunted royal strider on a tarp sled stirred an ugly resentment. Xyn didn’t want his brother’s pity. Barely containing the seething self-loathing, Xyn growled out to his brother, “I didn’t ask for your help,” and fled using his Floating Petal Step, flitting past the town’s buildings, markets, and tree-homes.

When Xyn was finally able to calm down (and running low on aura), he found himself outside Elder Thanle’s estate. The buildings and gardens were located on the ground, surrounded by a decorative stone fence. Sounds of disciples training in the large training hall echoed out.

Xyn remembered his grandmother’s words about the ring hidden under the hall. If he could improve his Elements and Aspect… and even if he couldn’t, maybe he could carve out a different future in the human lands. A future where he wouldn’t have to constantly live in his brother’s shadow.

“Ah, Xyn. Are you done with lessons already?”

Xyn’s shoulders bunched at the sound of a familiar voice, but he couldn’t show his surprise. A scout that got snuck up on… it was too embarrassing. Feigning nonchalance, he turned to face his sister. Kerra’s whiskerpads and eyes were placid and gentle, but her friend beside her was barely holding in her mirth.

His heart sank. Nothing to do about it now, but sometimes the best lie was the truth. “Hello Kerra, Aeri. I was wandering while contemplating some truths Master Kaylie gave me to meditate about.”

“And Elder Thanle might have the answer?” Kerra asked calmly, but her tail was curling with amusement-

Ah! His tail! A quick glance showed it puffed up thicker than his arm. Gah! He quickly grabbed the base and flattened the fur along the length in one swift pulling motion.

The effort was much too late and had exacerbated his situation, if the giggles from the two shaman girls were any indication. Pretending nothing happened, he addressed his sister’s question, “Yes, it may be so. What do you know about the training Elder Thanle gives his disciples?”

Kerra hid her grin behind her hand. “From what I’ve heard, they practice the Path of Still Air. It makes them silent and helps them pass unnoticed. When fighting they can use their aura to restrict the opponent’s ability to breathe. It might be the opposite of your Path that relies on gathering and redirecting flows, Xyn.”

Oh? Interesting… “Thanks, sis. That’s really helpful.”

“Sure. Aeri and I need to finish our errand and get back. Good luck on your meditation.” Kerra gave a friendly wave and the two of them wandered off toward the markets, carrying empty baskets.

(Haha, your brother’s the best! The way his tail puffed up!)

(Like, POOF! Hahaha.)

Xyn sighed and stopped enhancing his listening in their direction, refocusing on what was going on in the training hall.

Since Xyn understood that he wasn’t going to attract a hunter mate, he had been open to settling for a shaman as his partner. And maybe it was better that way… the shaman girls were certainly prettier and less battle obsessed. Delicate Aeri with her white fur, blue eyes, and that pink interior to her ears that made him want to touch them… if he was honest with himself, he would gladly put up with her teasing to be the one to make her howl—even if it meant his kits would be shamans and scouts instead of hunters. And the Snowfur’s white would hide the Hiddensnow heritage even better than a Wintersky’s blue would, maybe?

Hmm… maybe he should try harder to get her interest. Quen already had a house of his own and was courting one of the clan leader’s daughters. There were rumors that one of the Moonstalker princesses had taken an interest in Quen as well. Yet another way his litter-brother had exceeded him.

Xyn shook off the unproductive thoughts and refocused on infiltrating his aura into the gardens, discretely probing the training hall for unseen defenses.

An hour later, Xyn was meditating in his hammock, the birds outside mocking him with their carefree birdsong, and as appealing as a mid-day nap would be, his mind was preoccupied with what his grandmother had revealed to him and what it would mean for his future.

The more he thought about his current situation, the more sure he became about his conclusion: He was tired of the expectations and pressure of being a Cloudstrike. The admission was a blow to his pride after trying so hard, but truths were truths. Now that he knew he was a Hiddensnow, he could finally accept it.

A hidden clan that practiced deception to steal the secrets of other races… whatever his feelings on the matter, the warrior ideals he had been raised with would clearly no longer guide his Path.

But with his fur clearly marking him as a Cloudstrike and his true heritage a carefully guarded secret, could he ever be free of the judging gazes and worse from his mother’s clan? Even if he could win over Aeri, until he found a way to prove himself, wouldn’t his problems with his clan just cause trouble for her and make her miserable? That would be true not just for Aeri but any shaman he tried to court.

First, he would need to improve his Element and Aspect. And if he needed human teachers and special places to grow his power, that wasn’t something he could do here in Severing Downs. Or rather, maybe the Human Ring drawing out his human blood was key? He certainly hadn’t seen much, if any, improvement in his Element since his Awakening.

Curious whether knowledge of his human capability to improve made any difference, Xyn let his awareness trace the flows of wind in his room and outside past the birds and insects, past swaying branches and leaves brushed by a gentle breeze. Seeking to understand the truth of wind just like he had done when he was little.

He expended a small amount of aura to redirect the flows to swirl about him and let the comfortable energy seep into him. The feeling was relaxing and nostalgic, but as with every time he had practiced this since his Awakening, his body soon became full, unable to accept any more. He expended more aura to gather more wind and compressed it until the gently swirling breeze became a dustdevil, whipping about him.

He observed carefully to see if the increased density made any difference at all until his aura ran out and the density seemed to return to what it was before. As usual, if there was any improvement, it was too slight to be noticeable. The only way to find out the truth would be if he borrowed the ring and tried again.

Sneaking into an elder’s hall to borrow scrolls with secret techniques and such… wasn’t unheard of, but there was a difference between doing it as a youth and doing it after proving one’s adulthood. If he got caught, not only would he have to face Elder Thanle’s punishment, but also the punishment of clan Cloudstrike for embarrassing the clan. Whether his mother or brother could shield him from the worst of it… or whether they’d be tasked with carrying out the punishment…

It didn’t matter. He had to know. If he was lucky, Elder Thanle would treat it as a hidden clan matter, and he would only have to deal with Elder Thanle and Grandma Kaylie’s punishments.

Better would be not to get caught.

The smell of lunch drifted up from the rooms below, and he roused himself to head downstairs.

“Xyn, you don’t need compete with your brother so much. Each of us have roles suited to our gifts,” his mom reassured him as she set a plate of grilled meat strips on the table. ”And from what your father has heard, Master Kaylie is well-pleased with your progress.”

With a roll of his eyes, Xyn took his seat at the table. She had made his favorite spiced strider meat, which left him feeling conflicted as he chewed.

His warrior mom joined him at the table, her ears relaxed and expression soft. “Noticed you were giving your all to training in your room, so figured I would make you something special for lunch. Any luck?”

Xyn shook his head. “No. Mom, is it really impossible for Kyrren to improve their Elements after Awakening?”

“Is that what you were doing?” She raised an eyebrow. “To say it’s impossible… rather, at this point the gains from improving your skill and efficiency would surely be far more significant, don’t you think?”

“It’s just that Mist is…” Xyn’s shoulders and ears sagged. “If only I could improve to Storm.”

“Isn’t Mist is a better fit for your Illusion aspect?”

Xyn couldn’t meet his mother’s eyes and poked at his food with a claw.

“Xyn…” His mother sighed. “I know you want to overcome your Aspect like your father did, but not everyone is destined for the role of a hunter. Even as a scout, your father and I love you and are proud of you. You have a rare talent that you should be proud of, no matter what the clan thinks of it.”

Xyn’s mother’s words made the food taste like ash in his mouth. For his mother to admit to him that she had given up hope on him ever becoming a hunter… and to try to comfort him.

He mumbled an excuse as he retreated toward his room, only to be wrapped in a hug and have his ears ruffled before she let him go.