《Math God Plane - On Hiatus》Chapter 35: Zhujiao's Forehead
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“Math is super, super, super hard!” Zhujiao whined as they watched Jijian plant another explosive into the ground. “Big bro Xiaobai keeps on showing me his undisguised techniques so that I can get an insight, but they still make no sense at all!”
“You’re right, Zhujiao. As a living thing from the Multiverse, I find it exceedingly difficult to learn math as well.” Jijian sighed. “In the Tesseract, I am cut off from the wordforce of heaven and earth, so I cannot even spare wordforce for reading books. All this time, my insights into the laws of Writing have plateaued, and I suspect it is the same for everyone else exiled into the Tesseract.”
“This sucks!” Zhujiao grumbled.
“Why don’t you try pressing jade slips to your forehead to gain mathematical insights?” Jijian suggested. “It almost never works for me, but it’s pretty common loot from the mobs chasing me.”
“I can’t!” Zhujiao shouted, taking a jade slip out of his forehead. “See?”
He pressed the jade slip to his forehead, but it just went back into his interspatial forehead. He took it back out, and pressed it again, with the same results.
“What the…” Jijian was speechless. “Who would’ve thought that the greatest boon to an adventurer, an interspatial forehead, would actually have such a drawback? No wonder you haven’t been able to learn any math!”
“I know, right? Don’t you have any other books to read?” Zhujiao begged. “Even if it’s just about lipstick, I’ll read it.”
“Nope.” Jijian sighed, taking out his copy of the picture book, Everybody Farts. “This book and Fifty Shades of Chicken are the only things I brought with me to the Tesseract. But you sure read them fast, it’s incredibly astounding. Only the Grand Ancestor our Zhujiao Society, Zhujiao, could read books instantly. It’s said he read at the infinitieth grade level because of Plot.”
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“Well, duh! I’m Zhujiao! How many times do I have to say that?” Zhujiao yelled. “I’m the Grand Ancestor of the Zhujiao Society!”
Jijian laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous, kid. Zhujiao had eternal youth and liked taking the form of a six year old kid, but he had black hair. You have green hair! How can you possibly be our Grand Ancestor, Zhujiao? You’re just some kid who picked up his Plot Armor!”
“I had black hair!” Zhujiao yelled. “But I changed it because little kids my age like green hair and yellow hair and light blue hair more! Black hair isn’t cool like green hair is!”
“You better get that hair color changed fast.” Jijian frowned. “I’m not sure, but I think this Author isn’t a little kid. As supreme beings, Authors don’t serve anyone. Thus, it follows that they only write for themselves, because if they wrote for other people, then they would be serving other people. So why would the Author write for little kids if he’s not a little kid?”
“Shut up! Let’s get out of here already!” Zhujiao poked Jijian. “Do we really have to blow up this Mountain Range of Mathematical Beasts?”
“Of course we do. That’s what Zhujiaos do. They kill a bunch of people and destroy everything in the name of justice.” Jijian explained. “If I didn’t make any enemies, then I simply wouldn’t be doing my job as a member of the Zhujiao Society. I don’t like doing it, but it’s the decree of our Grand Ancestor.”
Shuxue sighed to himself as he waited for Jijian to finish planting explosives. He could hear the howls of Mathematical beasts in the distance. Apparently, Jijian had given them no face, and even stabbed the throat of their leader, the Super King Three-headed Ironwing Chicken. It really was no wonder that the Zhujiao Society was getting hunted down by the entire Multiverse.
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“Right, after this, we should go visit the Bulai Kingdom (reminder meaning: Don’t come here) in Continent 10.” Shuxue scratched his head. “With that guy whose name I don’t know yet joining our Core, we’ll be a force to reckon with in the upcoming Planar War.”
“Okay.” Jijian shrugged. “But we have to make sure to make enemies once we’re there.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Shuxue began to think. Continent 10 bordered Continent 1, where Argent Heaven and the Ji clan were located. He supposed they could go kill several of them before going back.
“All right, start walking away. And whatever you do, don’t look back.” Jijian clapped them on the shoulders as they began to walk down the mountain.
“Why can’t we look back?” Zhujiao was confused.
“That wouldn’t be cool. Cool guys don’t look at explosions.” Jijian explained. Behind them, a great roar sounded out as the mountain range began to explode. Rocks and pebbles began to fall down from above.
“Hey, this is dangerous. Zhujiao, teleport us out of here.” Shuxue frowned. “What if a rock falls on one of our heads?”
“No, keep walking away as if nothing is happening. After that, we can teleport away. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be cool.” Jijian disagreed. “Looking cool is extremely important. It wins points with the Author.”
“What the…” Shuxue’s eyes bugged. “Authors don’t exist! Stop being a quack and let’s get out of here. You’re free to believe in whatever bullshit you want, but you can’t endanger my life doing it.”
“It’s okay, big bro Shuxue.” Zhujiao laughed. “We have Plot Armor. Nothing is going to happen to us.”
“Well, fair enough.” They walked forwards in silence. Like a monsoon or perhaps a woman’s tears, debris rained down around the three of them. But not a single speck of dust came near them. Far away, the screams of the dying Mathematical Beasts and Mathivators chasing after Jijian could be heard. Another explosion ran out behind them, but they continued to walk. Half of a Crack Dragon fell out of the sky, landing with a ground-shaking thud next to Jijian. Jijian ignored it, as if it didn’t exist at all.
“Okay, that’s enough. We can go now.” Jijian grinned.
Zhujiao’s grid shot out from the center of his body, enveloping the three of them. The chiseled vistas, raining rocks, and Crack Dragon corpse was instantly replaced by dank soils and hundreds of clashing Mathivators. In the sky, a flock of Red-shelled Pigeons flapped their wings, sending tens of thousands of illusory feathers shooting through the air.
“Mother of god!” Shuxue cursed as he dove into a trench. “What is going on here?”
Bugles rang out. From somewhere on the opposite side, a massive, ten-meter tall Titan stepped up. He was incredibly muscular, with tattoos of numbers covering his body.
“Bulai Kingdom sheep!” He roared. “Today, our Laiba (meaning: Come here) Kingdom shall assimilate you all! I, Februaria (meaning: *cough* Augusta), challenge King Xuezhe (meaning: Savant) to a duel!”
Jijian blinked. “Well, that explanation was really convenient. Shuxue, what do we do?”
Shuxue scratched his head. “I don’t know, but-”
“KILL THEM ALL!!!!” Zhujiao screamed, jumping out of the trench.
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