《Math God Plane - On Hiatus》Chapter 1: Rules are Stupid!
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Author Note: Names in this novel are pinyin for Chinese terms. Their meanings will be given the first time they are introduced.
Two small children, each aged around ten years old, walked up the winding mountain path of their Sector as fast as their spindly legs could carry them. On their faces were expressions of raging anger and shame.
“That damn kid! He dared to respond to my belittling comments, and he even beat me in a fair match! How dare he!” The foremost child said, a furious glint in his eye.
“Don’t worry, young master Xiaobai (meaning: Noob). That Zhujiao (meaning: Main character) will not escape from our wrath unscathed!” A skinny, frail girl with an abundance of freckles said as she panted, sweat pouring from her face. She clearly was not suited to this kind of physical exertion.
“Yes, Nupu (meaning: Servant)!” Young master Xiaobai shouted. “Once I get elder disciple Shuxue (meaning: Math) to help me, Zhujiao is absolutely dead! Shuxue is currently in secluded meditation in one of these mountain caves. I just have to figure out which.”
“Elder disciple Shuxue is always in secluded meditation.” Nupu sighed, brushing some hair out of her mouth. “I only hope he will lower himself to help us.”
In a mountain cave not far from the two children.
Shuxue was a boy with short black hair and pure white skin, like that of jade. His skinny frame knelt on the ground over some papers, utterly naked. In his right hand was a pencil that scribbled across the papers. Shuxue had a soft, feminine face that would make flowers jealous. Only… his expression was too lewd to ever be a female’s!
“Oh… the factors of (x^2-17x-234)/(x+9)... yes… the equation follows (x+25) for all real numbers but at the point x=-9, where the equation simply does not exist... YES!”
Shuxue’s body began twitching all of a sudden. His hips began to thrust forward all on their own. If anyone were to see his face at that moment, they would shriek and run away, fearful for their chastity.
After a few seconds, Shuxue collapsed onto the ground, sending the papers scattering. His pencil rolled across the ground. His face was red and his breath was uneven with excitement.
“Hahaha, I did it! I’ve gained a new insight into the laws, allowing me to excrete this worldly filth.” He held up his left hand, which was doused in a sticky fluid, before grabbing a tissue and wiping it away.
The rock covering the opening of the cave began to vibrate as someone from the outside began pounding upon it.
“Elder disciple Shuxue! Elder disciple Shuxue! I am in urgent need of your help!” The cry of the sniveling little shit, Xiaobai, drifted into Shuxue’s ears.
“Ah, what the fuck, that guy again…” Shuxue muttered to himself. Then, he yelled to the outside.
“I’m in secluded meditation, dammit! What do you want from me this time? You were here, like, yesterday!” Shuxue was quite annoyed right now. Luckily, Xiaobai had not come half a minute earlier, or else Shuxue would have lost a great insight into the laws.
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“That was three weeks ago, elder disciple Shuxue! Have you been in secluded meditation this entire time?” Nupu’s voice drifted past the door.
“Ehhh?” Shuxue whirled around to see the ground strewn with tissues. His food stocks had dwindled almost to nothing, and even the corner which he had designated as his restroom was overflowing. “This… My god! I got caught up in that problem set! I had been too immersed in the Mathematical Laws!”
Remembering that there were people outside, Shuxue sighed. “I still have some more things to meditate on, give me a few more days.” There were still several stacks of problems left. How could he prematurely end his secluded meditation? It would be immoral!
“No, elder disciple Shuxue! Please, I urgently need your help! Some upstart child gave me no face, and I was unable to beat him after challenging him in front of all my friends.” Outside, Xiaobai collapsed into a sobbing mess.
Shuxue frowned. “And?”
“And please, take revenge for my sake!” Xiaobai pleaded desperately.
Sighing, Shuxue tossed some tissues onto his waste. “Don’t want to, get your father instead,” he called out. As if he had time for such a frivolous matter..
“Please, elder disciple Shuxue! I can grant you access… to the binomial factorization jade slip!”
Shuxue looked down at a jade slip he had finished long ago. “Already have that!”
“What! Shuxue, very well, you drive a hard bargain… I’ll give you the parabola jade slip!”
The rock exploded into a cloud of dust, from which a skinny naked boy of thirteen years of age burst out. His eyes were closed to the blinding lights of the outside, but he clutched onto a pair of shoulders, violently shaking it with excitement.
“What did you just say! The parabola jade slip, can this be possible? That’s one of the great treasures of our Brownwater Sector!”
Nupu shrieked as Shuxue rattled her insides with his feverish shaking. When she looked down, she could see something she had never seen before flopping around. It was just too much for her, and her head lolled up, froth coming out of her mouth.
“Stop!” Xiaobai cried out. “I’m over here!”
Nupu collapsed onto the ground, and Xiaobai took her place between Shuxue’s hands.
“Yes, yes! The parabola jade slip, the parabola jade slip, I’ll let you use it, stop it already.” Xiaobai’s tears were flying everywhere as he spoke.
He was thrown onto the ground as well, and when he had recovered his senses, Shuxue was dressed in a sky blue robe, wiping the dirt out of his face. He had a feverish expression on his face, almost as if he was filled with lust.
“Take me to this upstart child, so I can obtain the para- er, enact some justice for you.” Shuxue said, his eyes gleaming.
At the bottom of the mountain.
Two small children, each six years old, sat around a table inside a room in the Sector. One was a boy with green hair, dark skin, and a solemn expression. The other was a girl with blue hair, with a face that would melt the hearts of an entire continent after she finished puberty.
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BOOM!
The door was smashed in by Shuxue’s foot. He entered the room, his chest puffed out.
“Who is the one called Zhujiao!” He roared, staring at the two children.
“It’s the boy, it’s the boy!” Xiaobai hissed from behind. He was standing behind Shuxue, an evil leer on his face. “You know I only pick fights with boys.”
“YOU!” Shuxue jabbed a finger straight at the green-haired boy. “You didn’t give my young master face! There are no words needed for a transgression of this magnitude! Prepare to get your come-uppance!”
The boy slowly stood up, sneering. “What if I win?”
“Haha, you won’t win. Let’s get started already.”
“If I win, the young master owes me a thousand Arithmetic pearls!” Zhujiao folded his arms, looking at Shuxue disdainfully.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Gathering his mathforce, Shuxue prepared to attack.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Xiaobai hurriedly threw up his arms, forcing Shuxue to stop. “We have to wait for more spectators to gather, to better humiliate this lowly Zhujiao.”
Shuxue tapped his foot on the ground impatiently as a crowd slowly grew. He couldn’t wait to obtain the Parabola jade slip and see what profound insights lay within. The Parabola jade slip was the clan treasure; even he, an esteemed elder disciple, was not allowed to gaze upon it!
In the meantime, many children had started conversations with each other.
“Look, that’s Zhujiao. He’s offended so many people these last few months, and now even elder disciple Shuxue has come to fight him!”
“There’s Meinu (meaning: Beautiful woman), the most beautiful girl in our Sector!”
“She’s only half my age, but I love her pert butt.”
“Her six-year old breasts are so beautiful, I could stare at them all day.”
The girl who had been sitting next to Zhujiao, Meinu, blushed in anger as she heard these lewd comments. She was about to stride up to the speakers, but Zhujiao extended a hand out to stop her.
After a few minutes, Xiaobai began cackling. “Okay, now you can start.”
Shuxue instantly attacked!
“Taste my Math Dragon technique!” Shuxue shouted, gathering his mathforce and assuming a bow stance as he punched out with his fist.
A giant dragon, whose body was made up of different numbers, materialized on his outstretched arm. It shot towards Zhujiao, who had not reacted at all!
A commotion broke out across all the spectators the moment Shuxue had spoken.
“That’s the Math Dragon technique!”
“Only those who are at least at the early Algebra stage can utilize the Math Dragon technique!”
“Elder disciple Shuxue is truly gifted, to reach the early Algebra stage at the young age of 13! He’ll definitely be an expert that rattles the heavens and shakes the world!”
“Even our Sector leader is only at the late algebra stage. Elder disciple Shuxue is exceedingly incredible.”
As the math dragon shot towards him, fangs bared, Zhujiao assumed a horse stance, extending out his arms in a palming motion. Sneers appeared on the faces of all the onlookers. Although they did not have time to speak, a variant of this thought ran through each of their heads:
“Zhujiao is merely at the late arithmetic stage. He has even more talent than elder disciple Shuxue, but there’s no way he can stand up to an expert of the early Algebra stage! This time, he has kicked an iron board.”
Gusts of wind swirled past Zhujiao, ramming straight into the math dragon. A loud, grating sound was continuously emitted as the math dragon pressed forward against the winds, advancing closer and closer to Zhujiao.
“He’s finished now! This time, Zhujiao was too unlucky to have aroused the wrath of elder disciple Shuxue!” Amused expressions could be seen on all of the spectating children as they thought this.
Then, a number flew out of the math dragon, dissipating into mathforce. After that number flew out, another, and another shot away, chipped and cracked by the winds. Abruptly, the entire math dragon collapsed and blew away.
Shuxue gaped at Zhujiao, who continued to have a nonchalant expression on his face.
“I… what…” He spluttered. Behind him, the entire audience was in awe.
Shuxue, his face pale, lifted up a shaking finger at Zhujiao. “That wasn’t possible! You clearly used a maximum of 75 units of mathforce in your attack, yet my math dragon used 300! Besides that, my attack used the laws of Algebra, while yours was simply an application of sheer Arithmetic! This isn’t mathematically possible!”
Zhujiao smirked. Involuntarily, some girls in the spectating audience whom had just been sneering at him sighed. He had made a profound impact on their prepubescent hearts.
“I’m Zhujiao!” He shouted, jumping forward towards Shuxue. “Rules are stupid!”
Before Shuxue could snap out of his shock, a fist using 30 units of pure Arithmetic mathforce smashed into his cheek, sending him sprawling onto the ground, unconscious and missing a few teeth.
Zhujiao sneered and walked up to Xiaobai. “I want a new room, and a thousand Arithmetic pearls in that room!” With that, he grabbed Meinu by the arm and led her out the door.
Xiaobai collapsed onto his knees, his face blank. After a few seconds, it turned angry.
“FATHER!!!!” He shouted, getting back up and running out the door. Meanwhile, Shuxue remained on the ground, unconscious.
All this fighting and talking took time to describe, but it happened in under the time it takes for an incense stick to burn.
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