Jake was doing good until he wasn't, he looked at his weapon, KillFuck, and it reminded him of a tiny, pathetic, penis, he needed a new one, so he went to the blacksmith.

He saw a man go up to the smithy and say 'I want a sword, give it to me, peasant'

The blacksmith refused and Jake snorted, that was not how you treated a smith.

He went up to the blacksmith and immediately unbuckled his pants and deepthroated the smiths 8 inch shlong, swallowing the grease and soot it was covered with.

The smith sighed, 'Finally, a youth who shows respect to a smith properly, what do you need?'

'need to use the forge'

'alright dude, just over there'

Jake went over to the forge and took out a hammer, he had taken a single metallurgy class around ten years ago so he vaguely knew what he was doing.

First, he took a small block of iron, using a Backwards-Extrusion until it was vaguely in the shape he desired, and ready to be enriched with the catalyst, he chose Nyodymium, with a Tenbrium/Yttrium booster, so that the iron would properly accept the diffusion properties of the Dynamos in the Nyodymium. After this, he blast-cleaned the Praseodymium-Plate that he was left with to prevent rust, and began the difficult process of shaping the metal.

Years passed as Jake caressed the metal, kingdoms rose and fell, history books were written, and then forgotten, but he kept fondling the metal, listening to its complaints like a mother to her child. But finally, the weapon was complete.

He turned to the smith and thanked him for the chance at the forge and then left.

But then... he was harassed by a gang of hooligans! And they were also racist!

He tried stabbing one, but it didn't work, they were invincible! What was he going to do!

'We are going to kill you!' Said one of the hooligans 'And then we are going to beat up some black people because we are racist!'

'But then Jake remembered... he had a gun!'

'Get ready to die!'

And Jake was going to die, but then he unleashed the full force of his CZ 805 BREN self-loading rifle with a rotating breechblock and cold hammer forged chrome lined barrel, delivering 7.62×39mm at 750 RPM, destroying their pathetic, ugly, racist, asses.