My name isn’t important.

Or rather, my real name isn’t important. Things like age, gender, race/ethnicity, they all don’t have meaning here.

Why you ask?

It’s simple; because I’m a Dungeon Master.

No not that kind of Dungeon Master. A tabletop roleplaying dungeon master. The kind who makes fantasy stories for their friends to play a long. The kind who spins out scenarios after scenarios no matter what route my players take because I have backup plans after backup plans and a solid grasp of the world. Where anyone can be anything, no matter what they are in real life. That’s the sort of mentality we DMs have. Or at least, the type of mentality we should have.

Why am I telling you this?

Oh that’s right, it’s because all my online friends turned out to be real monsters who asked me to manage their run down dungeon.

Huh, I guess I am that sort of Dungeon Master after all.

Maybe it’s best if I start from the beginning?

My life was pretty ordinary. By day I had a pretty good job as working as an assistant manager for a small convenience store. I won’t bore you with how I had to work my ass off day in and day out climbing the surprisingly cut throat ranks to become an assistant manager. Yeah it was more responsibility but it sure beat cleaning the toilets.

But by night, oh man by night, it was like I was a completely different person. See by night I was “The Dark Lord DM.”

Lord DM was more of a username than a title. As a kid fantasy books and movies were all I would read and watch. So when I heard DnD was a thing I jumped on it as fast as I could. In an era where information is exchanged at light speed thanks to the internet, I managed to find out there were several forums and tools dedicated to tabletop roleplaying of any kind. No longer did nerds have to meet up in someone’s basement and play, they could simply use the internet to get together and play.

So I signed up and started looking for a group to play with. Being an edgy young teenager who thought it’d be cool if he posed as some sort of demon king type of DM, I gave myself the username “The Dark Lord DM” or Lord DM for short. In hindsight, the username, while unique enough to be used, was pretty generic as other people had similar if not cooler variations of the name.

Since usernames and characters are sort of a brand in the DnD world, the site wouldn’t let a person change their name without a fee, which wasn’t something 15 year old me was gonna cough up any time soon. By the time I was old enough that the fee wasn’t that big of a deal for me to pay up, I had already been known by a few groups that changing it would be a big hassle to notify all my players.

I wasn’t like a famous DM by a long shot, with big production podcasts or web series of some kind, but I managed enough groups to be known around the forums. As a DM, I was known for trying any setting and material as long as it was interesting enough, and as a player I’d always play as a Demon King who thought he was a hero. Playing evil characters who think they’re good and fail at it were the funniest to me, but there were very few DMs who had a campaign that fit that sort of character, so I stuck managing than playing.

It’d probably better to call me a GM instead of a DM since I played other systems alongside DnD, but the habit and name stuck before I realized the difference truly. Some people might say it’d be better to change my name, or at least make the distinction obvious, but it wasn’t exactly my style.

Anyways, I had about three groups that I circulated around. Some people would say that’s insane, managing three different campaigns at once, but it worked out for me. See not everyone has the luxury of playing every week or every month really. And as someone who loves DnD, the wait in between was always so boring. So I took on several groups in order to fill in all that free time. I couldn’t let the opportunity to play go to waste after all.

My current group was the most interesting by a long shot. They were hardcore RP’ers. That meant they stayed in character even outside of their campaign and any discussions we had. Now I had a few run ins with this type before, but never someone as dedicated as this group. Normally I didn’t play with these type of players often because if you’re not careful, it can turn into a huge ordeal. But this group had an interesting dynamic. In order we had:

Claire, the cyclops giant who was a berserker and the muscle of the group

Johan, a surprisingly even tempered orc who was more of a tactician and magic wielder

Darnelle, a happy go lucky demon who just wanted to sing and dance like the true bard he was

Voop, a small slime cube who wanted to evolve as quickly as possible into a dangerous poison monster

And finally Patty, a young harpy girl who was trying to be some sort of demon knight even though I kept suggesting for her to be a long range fighter.

Our setting was that they were a group of monsters protecting their dungeon from hero NPCs that I managed in order to bring the destruction of humanity that terrorized the oppressed monster kind and summon the legendary Demon King. With a campaign like that, I couldn’t say no! I could finally have my cake and eat it too; that is, play my failed good guy demon king player (as an NPC of course) and manage a campaign that ticked all my boxes. Talk about a win-win situation.

After each session, the group would always thank me, their supposed Demon King, for all the training I was giving them. I always laughed when they did this, thinking it was supposedly an inside joke. The group were already tight knit to begin with, which wasn’t that uncommon with player groups, and their eccentric behavior grew on me.

One day an interesting conversation was struck up in our group chat.

FlightlessBirb (Patty): HHEY BOSS HEY HEY CAN WE DO A SESSSION TODAY? I WANNA SSE IF MY NEW TACTICS CAN WORK WITH WHATEVER BOSS HAS IN STORE!

The_Dark_Lord_DM (me): if everyone else is free then i can do a session tonight lol

Jingle_Jangle (Darnelle): OOH A SESSION YOU SAY? A WONDERFUL IDEA PATRICIA. IT’S THE HEROES OFF SEASON ANYWAYS SO IT’S PERFECT FOR SOME TRAINING!

See what I mean? Always in character even outside of sessions. Talk about dedication.

The_Dark_Lord_DM: u guys sure love being in character lol

The_Dark_Lord_DM: but yeah ive got some ideas for the next session anyways to go over with you guys

Lords_Retainer (Johan): Lord, if I may, I have a few suggestions.

The_Dark_Lord_DM: lol what?

Lords_Retainer: Perhaps we should do… an in person session?

Jingle_Jangle: WOAH WAIT JOHAN YOU DON’T MEAN

The_Dark_Lord_DM: ????

The_Dark_Lord_DM: dont u guys like live all over the world? its easier this way isnt it?

VoopTheGloop (Voop): VOOP WISHES TO JOIN YES

VoopTheGloop: VOOP VERY MUCH WISHES TO SEE THE BOSS!

FlightlessBirb: YESSS LETS PLEASE BOSS BLEASE BPLEASE PLEASE!!! （＾ｖ＾）

Really, these guys always get so over excited without thinking.

The_Dark_Lord_DM: uh guys dont forget about things like timezones and junk. its like super late 4 me and shit

The_Dark_Lord_DM: plus i can’t just take time off to join you guys just to play dnd

The_Dark_Lord_DM: no matter how much i want to

OneEyedGal (Claire): UH I THINK WHAT JOHAN’S ASKIN IS TO LIKE SUMMON THE DEMON KING RIGHT?

Lords_Retainer: Exactly.

The_Dark_Lord_DM: OH U GUYS JUST WANT ME TO LET YOU SUMMON THE DEMON KING IN SESSION

Lords_Retainer: That’s what I said m’lord.

The_Dark_Lord_DM: lol dude thats completely different than what u were suggesting. but if u you guys roll well enough in sesh, i can totes do it

FlightlessBirb: (*≧▽≦) YAYYYY

The_Dark_Lord_DM: my breaks over guys see ya when i get home then

In a few hours I would come to regret this decision.

Work was killer and I was half tempted to tell my group that I was planning to postpone our next session until tomorrow just so I could knock out and sleep. But the more I thought about the possibility of my players meeting my Demon King character formally, the more excited I got. I got greedy at the idea of finally being to play along with my friends, clashing with the heroes I had created for their enjoyment. No longer will the Demon King be a shadowy figure they were chasing, trying to follow in his footsteps against the tyrannical rule of humans. He’d step out of the shadows and go “here I am” and cut down the human heroes that he thought were villains.

Stepping off the train and making my way back to my small crappy apartment home, I couldn’t help but vibrate in excitement. Because I already had plans for even if my players failed, succeeded, and everything in between. It was going to be great. There was nothing better than that exhilarating feeling of holding the world in your hand and knowing you could crush it in an instant if you so choose. Rushing through my door, I shouted “I’m here!” as if my friends could hear me and began to furiously prepare for the session. I took out my manuals, my dice, dicebox, snacks, water, mic, everything. To help prep me to get into the proper DM mindset, I even put on my cosplay robe.

It’s kind of embarrassing, but when I was younger I liked to cosplay my DM persona, and had this robe specially made by my mom. It was worn around the edges, and a little small, but I couldn’t help but wear it every time I was in my serious DM mode. When I was younger and it fit properly, it would give off a large fluttering effect. The edges had gold colored felt to mimic golden embroidered triangles and other geometric patterns. The robe was a dark blue that looked almost black and had purple embellishments on it. It had a hood that had stuffed pointed horns into it and when I was still in my cosplaying phase I’d wear an eyepatch and white gloves to complete the look.

Now I only wore the robe as a sort of cape as it was pretty tight. Ten years really made a difference, didn’t it? But still, it had such sentimental value to me that I couldn’t help but wear it in some way, even if it was just around my shoulders.

With everything in place, I quickly contacted my group and told them to get all started. Normally my player’s connection was pretty bad, with their mic audio being echoey and laggy, but tonight it was even worse.

“ARE YOU READY GUYS?” I asked, more than pumped up.

“HELL YEAH BOSS!” came Patty’s shrill girly voice.

VoopTheGloop: VOOP IS READY!

Voop, who was mute, always wrote his responses in the chat, and had his rolls called out by the others.

“I’m ready when you are m’lord,” came Johan’s calm voice. It sounded distant but not echoey like the others; it seems he was in a different location for once.

“I’M BURNIN’ UP AND READY TO GO. WE’RE ALL HERE AREN’T WE SO LET’S JUST START ALREADY!” Claire shouted. Her voice was tinny thanks to her audio quality but with her volume it was easy to hear her. There was the sound of nature around her that could be heard in a distorted way so I figured she must be playing with her window open.

“Um excuse me, don’t forget me, most important member of the group obviously,” Darnelle said in his usual flamboyant manner. I could hear other voices in the background, as if he were in a cafe or something. I normally didn’t like my players to be in public spaces, since it always felt embarrassing, but I couldn’t help it so I took what I could get.

“OH SHUT IT DARNELLE,” Claire said with a growl.

“No fighting!” I warned as I began my set up.

I had the group be on the run from the hero’s commanding army, whos sworn duty was to defeat the Demon King and make sure he never rises again. They had to several dex checks as well as perception check to see if they were being pursued or not and to have them gather the necessary ingredients for their summoning spell. They were all rolling pretty well.

Too well if you asked me. I squinted in suspicion that they might be fudging the numbers, so I upped the stakes. I had the hero’s army be one step ahead of them so that they were pinned in their spawn area, trying to summon their Demon King.

Their acting was always top notch though, which is why I rarely complained about the audio quality, and today was no exception. Whenever I had Claire fight off a guard, she’d play sound effects in the background and would grunt and shout at them with enough passion as if she was in the heat of battle. Patty’s voice would always go up a decibel when she was in a tight spot, and she’d play loud bird screeching noises for added effect. Darnelle would sing as if his life depended on it and would actually play instruments; but that would be a given since he was a musician. Johan was on a whole other league though, he’d stay cool even during all the fight scenes I’d throw at him and would make exceptional sound effects; the guy was such a pro I always was left wondering if he was a professional voice actor or something to that degree.

Only Voop, who was mute, wouldn’t act out. But his replies in our chat was always filled with profanity and great reactions that one couldn’t help but laugh.

My players were seriously dedicated. Something like that always made my heart soar; to be with a group of players who took everything to the extreme but in a good way, to share in all these fun times with friends. It gave my boring normal life some adventure and fun from the safety of my home.

As I was describing the scenario, I could hear the group’s voices overlap.

“S-SHIT, JOHAN, GIVE ME SOME BACK UP!” Claire’s voice rung out.

“THEY HAVE A WHITE MAGE, I’M DOING THE BEST I CAN,” Johan spat back; it was one of the few times he ever lost his cool.

I could hear Darnelle’s bells in the background and heard his voice through Johan’s mic before his.

“O’ UNHOLY LIGHT, PIERCE THESE HEATHENS WITH THINE POWER!” he shouted.

“G-GUYS UH WAIT YOU GOTTA ROLL!” I said quickly, but the situation was getting out of hand. I didn’t like this, I didn’t like my controlled scenarios and contingencies to be blown out of the water.

The sound of thunder crashing in my ears cut me off.

“DON’T WORRY BOSS, WE’LL SUMMON YOU NO MATTER WHAT!” Patty said, her voice a high screech as I could hear someone scream in pain as if she were attacking them head on.

What in the hell was going on.

It was as if… as if…

As if it wasn’t a game.

N-No way, no way no how. They were just dedicated. R-Really dedicated right? They must be LARPing or something. Y-Yeah that’s it.

But what about the noises of pain in the background.

“STOP AND ACCEPT YOUR DEATHS YOU UNHOLY BEINGS!” a new voice shouted. It was strong and full of anger, and it was crystal clear, coming from Claire’s mic.

“S-STOP, WHAT’S GOING ON, WHAT THE HELL!” I shouted instinctively.

“JOHAN NOW!” Claire shouted, completely ignoring me. What the hell was going on.

My entire group was ignoring me, and I was stuck on my side, trembling as I heard the sound of what could only be described as a vicious battle.

“O’ UNHOLY LIGHT, BRING FORTH THE RIGHTEOUS BEING WHO SHALL SHIELD US FROM HUMANS UNENDING HUNGER. SUMMON HE WHO WAS ONCE FORGOTTEN AND BRING HIM FORTH ONCE MORE TO BATHE THE WORLD IN HIS DIVINE DEMONIC POWER!”

Johan’s voice was clear, cutting through my haze.

Wait, please someone wait. H-How did he know the spell? It didn’t really exist, it’s just something I made up on my way home. My blood ran cold, I was supposed to tell him the spell once he succeeded an intelligence check. How the hell did he know the spell?

Suddenly my body felt freezing cold and searing hot at the same time. My vision blurred, my computer screen blinding me with how bright it was. My skin burned and it felt as if someone was clawing at me, squeezing me tight until I couldn’t breathe. I gasped like a dying fish, trying to fill my burning lungs with air, but nothing came in.

I was dying. I had to be dying. What was this, what’s going on?

Why did all those happy feelings of playing with my friends have to fade into this searing inescapable pain?

That was the last thought I had as I blacked out, collapsing from my chair.

When I woke up, the first thing I thought was that I had accidentally fallen asleep during our session and that my friends were trying to wake me up. I must’ve been more tired from work than I realized and it culminated in me collapsing and having a nightmare.

In my dream, there was darkness and shouting. The stench of blood was strong and someone was charging at me. Fear and panic gripped at me and I shouted loudly until there was nothing but bright light and the ringing in my ears.

Just as suddenly my dream changed.

I was surrounded by my friends as their characters, in a dark cave. The corpses of the knights from the hero’s army was littered around them and they were worriedly shaking me, calling me their Demon King. Claire had one large round blue eye and it was right in my face, blinking worriedly. She had short cropped red hair and I could see all the freckles on her face from how close she was. Patty was a stereotypical red and yellow harpy except she had a beak instead of a mouth, and was nervously flitting from side to side. Voop was sitting on her head, his derpy but cute eyes watching me. He was… kinda odd. He was a cube, blue and slimy, but he had cat ears and a tail. I half expected him to go “nya” at me.

Darnelle was speaking rapidly to the group in his signature worried high pitch voice but wasn’t really looking at me. It was Johan who picked me up, holding me straight, and made me realize one important detail.

THIS WASN’T A DREAM.

The stench of blood and Johan’s warm firm gripped shook any doubt in my mind that this was just an elaborate dream or prank.

“I-I…. WHAT’S GOING ON?”

It was the only thing I could manage to say as the group visibly relaxed.

“OH THANK THE DEMON LORDS, YOU’RE ALIVE,” Darnelle said. He dramatically flung himself against him in a hug, ignoring the fact he was covered in blood and a full bonafide demon.

“Hhh!” I involuntary made a noise as I was squeezed by Darnelle. He was stronger than he looked and I had to tell him that he was crushing me to let me go.

“YOU MADE IT BOSS! YOU’RE REALLY HERE!”

It was Patty. What I always thought was a young girl, was actually a young adult with a high pitched voice. This was most likely due to the fact that she was part bird. Now all those bird screeches made sense.

“Are you ok M’lord,” Johan said from somewhere behind me.

“Hrk.” I still couldn’t speak properly and was making strange noises.

“We really thought you were a goner there Boss,” Claire said with a big sharp toothed grin. “Good thing Johan here is so good at his job!” She laughed loudly as she smacked Johan’s back.

Talking about Johan, he was really the oddest of the bunch. Whereas everyone was wearing that sort of stereotypical monster garb you see in movies and games, Johan was wearing what looked like to be priest robes and had small circular glasses perched on his nose. His skin was a light tan instead of the stereotypical green orcs were supposed to have, and he had long wavy dark hair. Ignoring the sort of monster features like his ears and his tusks, he could totally pass of as a normal guy in cosplay! What the hell.

It was the complete opposite with someone like Darnelle, with his long curly silver hair and hors, who was dressed in a skimpy sort of outfit decked in lace and bells and had that fantasy look that everyone knew. Wait, never mind that, isn’t Darnelle’s outfit completely weird too? It looked like it fit something for a fanservice demon girl character in an anime or game than the bard of this group. Or maybe that’s just how bards looked like in this world.

Oh… Oh I’m really in another world aren’t I?

“Oh my, Master is looking at me with such a strong gaze, I wonder what he’s thinking fufufu!” Darnelle said with an impish grin as if he were a cloying school girl.

“D-DON’T GET THE WRONG IMPRESSION!” I said quickly looking away, flustered. This was so confusing I didn’t know what to do.

“Don’t worry Boss, Darnelle’s a maneater, so you’re safe from him,” Claire said boldly, giving me what she must’ve thought to be a gentle pat on the back. I nearly keeled over from the strength.

“I-I’M A GUY!” I sputtered out. I knew she was a cyclops but her eyesight couldn’t be that bad could it?

“Huh? I mean man as in human. I know Boss is a guy. After all you wouldn’t be the Demon King if you weren’t.”

Human? Demon King?

I felt my face go pale as I realized my situation.

These… these people, no these monsters thought I was an actual demon king. This entire time they called me Boss or Lord or even Demon King they weren’t joking, they were 100% serious. It wasn’t just them roleplaying, it was them being serious, absolutely completely and utterly serious. This wasn’t a game to them. This was real life.

I nearly collapsed again if Johan didn’t catch me in time.

“M’lord, you’ve exhausted your body from before, you need to rest.”

Before? Before what? I didn’t do anything before. All I know was there was pain, then a bright light, and then… here I was. As I open my mouth to tell him just as much, a new voice I never heard before cut in.

“HEY BOSS, DID YOU HIT YOUR HEAD ON THE WAY HERE? VOOP THINKS YOU NEED TO CHILL OUT AND STOP BEING RUDE TO US ALREADY.”

The voice was deep and reverberated in my skull telepathically. It was not what I thought Voop’s voice would sound like. It was deep and rough, as if it belonged to a mafioso who’s seen too much. It seem though that despite sounding as if it was spoken straight in my brain, everyone could hear Voop and Johan gave him a disapproving glare.

“Voop, do not speak to our Lord that way, lest you want to spend your night in the jar again.”

“WHAT NO COME ON, VOOP WAS JUST TELLING THE TRUTH. BOSS DON’T EVEN RECOGNIZE US EVEN THOUGH HE’S BEEN TRAINING US FOR A YEAR. VOOP HAS A RIGHT TO BE ANGRY.”

“Does Boss really not remember us?” Patty said, trying to hide the tremble in her voice.

If there was one lesson that my parents taught me that stuck to me, it was to never make a girl cry, and it seemed like I did just that.

“N-NO WAIT I DO REMEMBER YOU GUYS OF COURSE I DO, I JUST… DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON.”

“What do you mean you don’t understand what’s going on?” Darnelle said, his voice gaining a serious edge.

“M’lord?” Johan said, eyes wide in worry and surprise.

“I uh… y-you guys do know I’m not a demon right? I’m… I’m just a human guy who plays DnD.”

I waited for the explosion that would inevitably hit.

“YOU’RE NOT THE DEMON KING?” everyone shouted in unison, staring at me in disbelief.

There it was. It seems like I was in a really troublesome situation.