《Endeavour》2. Losing Ground: 6 - Just stay off the tables!

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The first thing Ali did once she had managed to catch her breath was confirm that they had everyone - she didn't even care if they were on the right ship or not. They did. The second thing she did was to find out which ship she was on. The third thing she did was to order her current comm staff to redirect all communications from HQ, well, put them on hold or something. Now that she knew she was on the Faraday she was going to shower, or collapse, or drink her weight in alcohol. Probably all three.

In retrospect she should be thankful Rila wasn't currently on duty, because she probably would've used Ali's exact words. Regardless of who she was explaining it to.

In the end Ali managed to clean up then collapse straight onto her bunk. The next thing she was aware of was the chime to her door going off. She held dead still, hoping it was her imagination and that no one really wanted her. Then it went off again. Ali sighed to herself as she pushed herself into a sitting position and yelled at whoever it was to come in as she looked at her clock. Somehow both relieved and annoyed that two hours had passed.

The door slid open to reveal Spud, who looked around the room with uncharacteristic caution. "You were asleep?"

Ali laughed as she wiped her face. "Yeah."

"Sorry," Spud said softly, before taking a seat next to her friend on the bunk. Ali smiled as she could feel that Spud was only partially sorry, but that she cared enough to be contrite. "Given everything that's happened recently I thought we should celebrate our first win for… far too long."

"You're throwing a party?" It wasn't really a question, they knew each other far too well.

Spud grinned despite herself and it made Ali give a single, hopeless laugh as she shared in her friend's infectious joy. She could tell Spud was desperately trying to be sensitive about her grief, but that she still couldn't help contain her happiness that they'd freed their friend. Their tetnar helped, but only as much as they allowed the other to feel. "You'd worry if I didn't."

"True," Ali admitted, pulling Spud into a sideways hug and resting her head on her shoulder.

Spud wrapped an arm around her too. "It'll do you good to just be happy for a bit. To be with friends who care about you and no obligations or duty."

"I know," Ali agreed, on the verge of tears despite herself. "But I just… I'm fine and then something really stupid will just set me off."

"It's not stupid."

"I meant that it'll be something that would be insignificant or irrelevant in normal circumstances," Ali said. Right now her grief was semi-manageable; if she had a focus or mission to attend to she was able to control herself until it was safe for her to take the time she needed, during her downtime she was mostly okay until something unlikely punched through her defences. "What if I start bawling in the middle of the bar?"

Spud's arm tightened around her. "We wouldn't judge you," she promised, "I'll hug you until you're okay and then we'll continue dancing and drinking until we fall asleep."

Ali remembered the advice her parents had given her many years ago; there is no right way to process. "Okay," Ali said to signal that she'd made her decision. "Though, somehow I don't think I have a choice."

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"Nope."

"I'm glad you still treat me the same," Ali said. She really was, the fact that Spud was treating her as if she was still just Ali meant that she felt like she might actually be able to get through this in one piece. If Spud was walking on eggshells around her, then Ali would know things were incredibly bad.

"Always."

~-x-~

In the end she coordinated with Grey about docking their ships so that those off duty could attend whatever mayhem it was that Spud planned. Ali was under no illusions that it would be mayhem because she had attended far too many of Spud's parties to have any misconceptions. Even her senior crew on the Faraday probably knew that by now after the way they'd let loose after the training exercises they'd run together.

It was clear that Tun'luh had hosted too many of Spud's parties from the resigned look on his tuthum face when Ali arrived at the Endeavour's lounge and made a beeline straight to the bar. "What've you got that'll make me forget that I've spent the day fighting for my life?"

Tun'luh gave a tiny snort through his trunk. Ali was familiar enough with tuthum body language to know that meant he was worried about the consequences of indulging her. Even so he still knocked up a beverage that Ali was pretty certain wasn't on his standard menu. Then again, she had been his guinea pig for many years. "Aw, why does she get special treatment!" Spud lamented as she joined Ali at the bar with a collection of empty glasses along with Rila and Carrie - one of the Endeavour's many crew members - in tow.

"You cause enough trouble already."

Spud pouted for effect but Tun'luh was not to be persuaded into giving her anything other than one of this standard cocktails. She thanked him anyway. "He'll stop serving you one day," Carrie warned as Spud handed out drinks. Spud was clearly unconcerned as she nonchalantly sipped on her drink. Ali rolled her eyes and Spud almost choked due to her laughter.

She was saved from retorting as a new voice joined their group on their way to the bar. "I see you two got out in one piece in the end," Wood teased as he joined their group.

Ali and Rila shared a look. "I see you managed to reacquaint yourself with a shower and a razor. For a moment I thought Ali had been captured when I saw you two join the party," Rila teased in a relaxed voice and Ali hid her smile into her drink. Though it was short lived as Carrie excused herself before anyone else had a chance to add anything. Spud glanced around the group before following her. "What just happened?"

"You didn't tell her you were going undercover, did you?" Ali asked, turning back to Wood.

Wood sighed as he turned from watching Carrie's exit. "No, I broke up with her."

Ali blanched as if she'd just literally trodden in something rather than just metaphorically. "Sorry." She paused to take a drink as she thought over the revelation. "You know, if you went and explained I'm sure she'd understand -"

Wood shrugged. "I can't do that to her."

"You haven't ruled out more ops for S-Core?" Ali was surprised, but Wood just shrugged again and she took the hint to drop it. Spud returned before she had a chance to change the subject.

"Is she okay?" Wood asked.

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Spud nodded. "She only knows half of us, and wanted to avoid any awkwardness by socialising with people she's comfortable with," Spud explained before pausing with a wince. "I worded that badly."

"We know what you meant," Ali assured her.

"Come, I found the others," Spud added as she beckoned them after her and towards a pair of tables that the senior staff from both the Endeavour and Faraday had pushed together.

"As your doctor, I'm not sure I recommend you drinking after that spectacle, captain," Etsile joked as they found some seats.

"You think it's good for your health to stop me?" Ali replied in kind. Etsile's laughter boomed across the group despite the loud music.

"And when will you start caring about your own health?" Etsile asked.

"If you ever unlock that secret, please let me know," Narla said with a relaxed voice.

"I'm still alive, aren't I?" Ali challenged rather more defensively than she meant too.

"Despite your own best efforts," Wood said with an amused grin.

"Yours too," Ali added with a laugh as she leant back in her chair and put her feet up on the edge of the table.

"Oh, you two are so going to be the death of each other," Spud interrupted with a wicked grin.

"You haven't already started a betting pool?" Claire asked as she joined them, smacking Ali's feet as she did. Ali begrudgingly sat up straight from the reprimand. Spud's face lit up as if she'd just had the best idea.

"I don't think they're above killing each other just to cash in," Rila warned in a far too calm voice.

Ali and Wood shared a look that was somehow both calculating and innocent. "Oh, please don't give them ideas!" Claire pleaded.

As the conversation reached a natural lull Spud downed the remnants of her drink and insisted that they all hit the dance floor - such as it was. Enough people appeased her that she didn't feel it necessary to nag anyone who didn't want to dance. "Just stay off the tables!" Grey ordered as half the group broke away. Spud and Ali shared a knowing, innocent look that didn't reassure him in the slightest.

"Should I ask about the table dancing?" Wood asked.

"Certainly not," Grey warned with amusement, "I think most of us have only just recovered."

Wood chuckled into his drink. "Is it possible to recover from Spud and Ali?"

"The authorities on Entechor would agree with you," Grey said with a wry tone and a smile to match. Wood gave his commanding officer a confused look. "Ask Claire when you next see her, it's a good story."

Wood couldn't help but turn towards where a mix of senior staff were dancing together. Claire and Lartyne were trading simple dance moves whilst egging on some of the more wild members. Etsile, Spud and Waarlm had more musicality and rhythm but even they were outdone by Ali and Rila. They had completely thrown themselves into their movements, lost to the beat and if either of them had ever had inhibitions the alcohol had removed the last of them. He found himself unable to draw his eyes away from the show even to continue drinking.

"You utterly ruined Ali's style by teaching her that two step of yours," Narla observed. Grey chuckled. Wood looked between them with further confusion. "Many years ago Robert taught us the finer points of the two step. It's a shame as I had finally got the basics of the olapa through to her." Wood glanced back to the group that was dancing. To his eye their current dance moves were a lot more like a samba - Narla had previously explained that it was the nearest terran dance style to the jetran olapa - than a two step.

"You could always go and remind them how it's done," Grey suggested.

"And neglect to tell Ben about the cowboy hat you bought for Ali? I couldn't do that," Narla assured him with such a relaxed tone it almost felt like a lullaby. She placed her now empty glass on the nearest table and excused herself. Wood had to hide his amusement at the look on Grey's face at Narla's mischief in his drink.

"Why is it that every time I think I've got a handle on some of the old stories, I am constantly surprised?" Wood asked after a moment.

Grey chuckled at his second in command. "Because you keep forgetting that Spud and Ali were on board the same ship for three whole years." Wood had to give him that as they continued to watch the dancers. Ali had been the first to cheer the medic into the dancing group, who then took centre stage with her fluid, graceful yet enthusiastic moves. Ali and Rila used Narla's entrance as a chance to catch their breaths and something gnawed away in Wood's gut at the easy, familiar way in which they acted - the way they'd touch each other's arms and half hug each other.

The party somehow managed to get more rambunctious as the night wore on. People came and went as their shifts demanded - none of them were foolish enough to not get at least five hours of sleep before their duty shift - with more people joining the makeshift dance floor and the piles of empties piling up on the tables. Though a few people were helping to take them back here and there, Tun'luh had long given up on straightening the place up until morning. Though he knew he'd have to send Spud to bed because she'd stay to help before getting some shuteye.

It was unusual for Ali to find herself sat in a quiet corner with only her drink for company at a party, but she needed to take a moment. After hours of drinking and dancing surrounded by friends she'd been feeling happy, only for that feeling to remind her of her father because he'd be happy to see her still enjoying all that life had to offer. He had become an ambassador so that he could explore the sector, live in and experience as many cultures as he could. He wouldn't want her to stop because of grief. Yet that had knocked her sideways because even though she could picture his happy expression she knew she'd never get to see it again. Her grip on her drink tightened as she tried not to cry, her eyes singularly focused on the glass.

She almost jumped out of her skin - let alone chair - when another glass joined hers on the table. Her breath left her lungs in shock as she resisted wiping at her eyes because she knew that would only draw attention to her unshed tears. She swore as she turned to face whoever it belonged to and recognised Wood only to scold him for startling her. "Sorry," he apologised, "but I thought I should check on you." Ali raised a pointed eyebrow at him in an attempt to make him explain. "You're not your usual self."

That's when she realised that of course he wouldn't know. Suddenly grateful for her ability to override the instinctive nature of her mouth, though she didn't normally filter herself when she was with friends. "Yeah, that's fair," she admitted quietly and slowly. She took a breath. "Grey will probably brief you in the morning, but the short version… A group of terrorists blew up an embassy to make demands about hybrids," she said, trying to keep her voice as even as she could as she summarised the recent events. "My father was there."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

A pause hung between them and Ali finally chanced a look at his face, only to realise he was clearly thinking how to follow that up. She was about to tell him he didn't need to say anything when he asked, "I take it you don't want me to ask how you're doing then promise it'll get better?" Ali smiled despite everything as she shook her head. Of course he knew. He reached out and squeezed one of her hands. "It'll take as long as it takes," he said softly instead, "don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Ali chuckled as she wiped at her eyes with her other hand. "That's what he'd say," she explained with a wobbly voice. "It's daft, but it's knowing that he'd be happy I'm enjoying myself that's making me cry." She couldn't help her little, sad giggle at that and it made Wood smile. They'd both lost enough people to be familiar with grief, and whilst a parent was different, the knife edge between happy memories and mourning the lost future was the same.

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