Ali quickly climbed into the small cockpit of the Hotpot as Wood followed her and settled into the other seat. It didn't take her long to prepare for their departure and once she was given clearance they dropped from the Endeavour and were on their way towards Kentar. "So… any ideas on how to approach this?" Ali asked as she checked all her systems and set the stealth mode to activate once they'd stopped travelling above light speed.

"First thing to do is ascertain if he's still on Kentar," Wood replied as he watched what she did so that he knew his way around the systems. The Hotpot didn't have USEP style interfaces, but it did have a relatively standard and straightforward design.

"Can't argue with that logic," Ali agreed. "If he's left the planet he'll have a head start on us… but the kentarians have centuries of experience interrogating taurrans."

Wood almost chuckled before reigning his amusement in again. "Try his cell on Kentar, if we're lucky he might have left some clue behind as to what he plans on doing with his newfound freedom."

"He's not one to leave a paper trail, but it's as good a start as any. Unless we know the signature of his ship to try and follow," she agreed.

A silence fell over the cockpit as she continued running systems checks before sinking deeply into her chair once she was done. Eventually Wood broke it. "I have to ask; how do you know he escaped?"

Ali couldn't look at him. "Would you believe me if I told you it was the only logical conclusion?"

"No."

"Figured as much," Ali muttered to herself. "How about as a way of making you all take me seriously?"

"No."

Ali sighed as she watched her own hands where she was twisting them about each other. Finally she lifted her gaze to turn to him. "Do you want the closed or open secret first?" She asked as lightly as she could manage when she knew what was coming.

Wood looked confused for a moment. "Just tell me everything I need to know," he decided. He wasn't interested in her personal secrets, he just wanted the mission critical stuff, the stuff that would affect the decisions both of them made and their ability to trust each other when things got bad.

"Bert Barker and I have a connection, of sorts, called a tetnar. It's like a tether between our minds either of us can use and it's why he was in prison on Kentar, to prevent him from exploiting it."

"They have experience blocking psychic connections because of their physiology?" Wood checked and Ali nodded. "And this afflicts two humans how?"

Ali hesitated for a few heartbeats but it felt like much longer. "Because I'm only half human," she admitted, "my father is Vaa Kutad."

For a moment Ali couldn't look at him. Interspecies relationships had become more accepted, but with so few able to produce children it was rare to come across hybrids and there was a lot of stigma and intolerance around them. In many ways she was lucky, she appeared human. If someone knew to look for it, they would be able to tell her eyes were slightly larger than average for a human, her limbs slightly longer, but not so much that it was obvious to those she interacted with. The most obvious sign was her thicker nails, but she kept them trimmed so that even they passed as human.

Presently she managed to face him again, where he was nodding to himself as if something made sense. Perhaps he had noticed the tone behind her joke about the ambassador not being home with Grey.

"So when Bert Barker was released the connection returned, that's how you knew." He worked through it out loud and Ali nodded. "Can't you block him? If you're the one with kentarian heritage?"

The rush of relief at not being questioned on being half human almost made her want to hug him. Instead Ali allowed herself to relax and answer his questions. "It's not that simple, unfortunately. Normally at least one person bonded by a tetnar has been trained to control their abilities, and mine aren't as naturally pronounced because I'm only half kentarian. A kentarian would have better control to prevent their own mind accidentally straying, but also better defences to stop another doing the same. A forceful intrusion is more a battle of wills."

Suddenly a thought occurred to him. "Wait, how did you get this tetnar in the first place, can -"

"That's the open secret," Ali laughed. "Before I found out he had aspirations of mass murder, I was in a relationship with him," she explained. "Apparently my taste in men is total krekt." She swore in her father's language, a habit she'd learnt from Spud, only different languages.

"You slept with him?" Wood asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," Ali agreed unhappily, "as a result we have a tetnar that I can't remove. Block, yes, with practise and training, but not remove."

"Even if you slept with someone else?"

"You offering?" Ali teased, giggling as Wood frowned at her, but she didn't give him a chance to reply. "It's not just because we had sex." She had slept with her fair share of people since Barker. At first as an attempt to lose the tetnar after he'd shown his true colours, when that hadn't worked she'd gone to her father to find out how she could - and had been disappointed. Later it had been part of her new life as a loner doing jobs people needed her to do and forming connections and alliances to achieve that.

"Kentarian telepathy isn't the same as for the jetra," she continued, "for them emotions are as much a part of their language as body language is to humans. For kentarians it's much more about the bonds between family and friends, those you care about, and those bonds transcending physical distance."

"So it's a way to communicate rather than read into someone's mind?"

"In a way, yeah. Most species with telepathic abilities have strict social rules and stigma around the sanctity of an individual's thoughts - there are exceptions where societies believe all thoughts should be shared - but there are usually exceptions too. The tetnar that kentarians form allow the sharing of thoughts, feelings, memories… And unless one believes the other to be in mortal peril it's considered one of the most serious transgressions to abuse such an intimate thing. If something is not shared freely it should not be forced from an individual."

Ali paused in her explanation as she turned to look out of the view screen at the blurred stars. "For all intents and purposes I was raised human by my mother. I've only ever had rudimental training in how to use my telepathic abilities, how to keep in my own head, the different levels in an individual's mind and how to honour them if I do have to reach out to another."

"Is that why you don't have much control over the tetnar with Barker?"

"Yes and no," Ali sighed, rearranging herself in her chair. "I would have had more say in when it was formed, but we'd still have one. I… It wasn't just a one night stand. We were together over a year, I… I loved him." She closed her eyes as she took a steadying breath in an attempt to manage the shame she felt.

"Do you still love him?"

"No." Ali gave a short, wry chuckle. "No, that ship sailed when he showed no remorse over killing innocent civilians." He didn't need to know about the time when she had been willing to forgive Barker, hoping Narla could find some kind of illness that they could blame it all on. A cause outside of his control. So far she hadn't told him anything that wasn't - relatively - common knowledge. Anyone who had served on the Endeavour back then would have known about her and Barker, no matter how discrete they had been. The rest had been about kentarian culture and physiology. "In hindsight I should've spent some time since his incarceration improving my kentarian abilities, but… I had enough krekt going on and with Barker in prison it fell down my list of priorities."

"Would telepathic skills not have come in handy?"

"Mine are good enough for the life of a loner who intends on trusting no one to survive," Ali said with a shrug. "I can sense deceit and proximity and if I ever find myself desperate enough to try and force information out of someone… I have other methods at my disposal." She paused. "I know that it's easy to imagine it as just another tool, trust me I get that, but it's really nowhere near as simple as you think and it's more complicated than even I understand."

"I didn't mean to offend…"

"You didn't." Ali offered him a wry smile. She had meant every word about understanding. When her father first tried to explain her abilities to her she had been the same way. Until the first time she used them, then she'd understood the discipline, trust and intimacy involved no matter what the use. Wood nodded but said nothing further. "What about you?" She asked when it was clear that if he had any further questions about the situation, he didn't think them important enough to ask. He turned sharply at the question. "You know all about my life, seems fair for me to ask about yours."

He couldn't argue with that. "Compared to yours, my life is quite boring," Wood replied as Ali curled up in her chair as if she was settling in for a story. "I didn't manage get kicked out of USEP, I haven't got some weird connection to one of the most deadly men in the galaxy and I don't ride around trying to break into USEP ships for a kick."

"So… nothing interesting then?" Ali teased earning another glare. "Right, you've told me what you haven't done so what about what you have done?" She prompted when he didn't seem to be opening up about anything. Then a realisation hit her. "Your gold moon… it was from the Artemis."

His shock registered on his face as he considered how to answer. "Yeah," he finally confirmed, "how'd you know about that?"

"I kept up to date with USEP news," Ali admitted with a shrug. She had also done some basic research on the current Endeavour crew and the timing worked. "I heard about the Artemis and the rumours about what really happened," she trailed off and a silence hung in the air.

"You miss USEP, don't you?" Wood asked quietly.

Ali almost nodded absentmindedly. "Doesn't matter now," she replied instead. She checked on the control panel in front of her and uncurled herself. For a moment Wood thought it meant there was trouble, until she put her feet on the edge of the console to stretch out. "We should probably get some rest while we can," she said.

"You plan on sleeping there?" Wood was incredulous that anyone could sleep like that but he could understand why she'd choose to kip in front of her controls.

"There's some cabins back there," Ali replied pointing with her thumb over the back of her chair, "bunks and everything."

The Hotpot had two cabins with a set of bunk beds in each and storage cabinets for belongings. Though Wood noted that neither looked particularly well used, he figured the one that had a trunk shoved under one of the bunks was the one Ali had nominally claimed when she took ownership of the Hotpot so decided to kip in the other cabin.

~-x-~

He bellowed an evacuation order as he dropped back into a crouch to provide some cover. "Lieutenant!" He turned sharply at his rank, a panicked scream by a young ensign who was bleeding from a new hole in his leg. Was it from a knife or a gun? Didn't matter. He scanned the scene for the cause and quickly shot the marksman he saw on the other side of the ensign. He was relieved that the perpetrator went down with one shot as his eyes went back to the ensign, who was a lot paler than a moment ago and his hands were covered in his own blood, which now covered a large part of the floor. He wasn't going to make it. They couldn't take the risk of trying. Wood briefly closed his eyes as he counted to three, upon opening then he apologised and took aim at the poor man's head.

-

It was the smell. The overpowering smell of blood, vomit, urine and flesh. He swallowed down the urge to vomit his limited breakfast up as he stalked through the latest massacre with two other members of the security team. It wasn't the death that bothered him - well, it did, but he could understand a paranoid mind ending a perceived threat - it was the unnecessary techniques used. Shallowly slit throats, the dismemberment, the disembowelment… Blood splattered - in so many colours - over the walls. Limbs strewn across the walkways. A trail of intestines… All of his team came to a quick stop as they heard a crunching noise, and one of the ensigns with him lifted her foot gingerly with a grimace and they recognised what was left of a finger beneath where her boot had been.

-

They were escalating. He hadn't thought it possible as he grabbed a fire extinguisher from the wall and aimed it at the screaming flames. For a moment he didn't think he'd have the strength to wield the extinguisher with one arm as he pressed his other hand against the new slash across his ribs, but after an agonisingly long few minutes the flames had disappeared. He dropped the extinguisher ungracefully as he panted in exhaustion, exertion and worry, his fingers seeking his rifle again as he quickly checked their surroundings. No one had arrived during the commotion.

He turned back to the vellurian lying gasping and twitching on the floor in a puddle of blue blood. He wasn't sure putting the fire out had been a kindness. Her water loop had been damaged in the fire - it was leaking freely over warped flesh - and the inbuilt translator was no longer functional as he heard her mournful phrase that reminded him of whale-song. He didn't need a translator to understand why she was holding her pistol out to him handle first with a trembling tentacle. He glanced at it. It was far too damaged from the fire they'd set on her, but he knew what she was asking. He fired once.

~-x-~

The pressure on his shoulder was enough to cause Wood to react, surging forwards fist first as his target deftly leapt backwards as he took in his surroundings. Clean bulkheads and clear light. He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes as he attempted to forget the alternative. Blood soaked corridors and flashing emergency lights. He could feel the curious stare on the top of his head. "What's the situation?" He asked after taking a steadying breath and counting down from ten in his head.

Ali opened her mouth to speak before changing her mind. "Nothing," she confirmed. Wood glared at her as if to demand why she would interrupt his sleep. "I could hear you thrashing about," she admitted.

Wood took another calming breath. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Ali's lips twitched as if she was going to smile but the way she was looking at him told him that he must look terrible. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he lied, levelling his best glare at her. For a moment she didn't react before nodding once. Suddenly he was suspicious, no one had ever let it go that easily before. "What? No argument?"

"Why would I argue about it?"

"Everyone else does."

"I'm not everyone else."

It was as if alarms went off inside his head at that. No, she wasn't. "Yeah, you can just get the information you want without asking!" He watched the expression on her face change into one that simultaneously looked like he'd just punched her and that she'd quite happily return the favour.

"Or, maybe - if you take the stick out your arse - you'd realise that I might have some idea of what it's like being haunted by things I'd rather not talk about." Her tone was that dangerous level of calm, where the recipient pushes at their own peril. He chose to glare at the ladder to the bunk instead and she turned on her heel and left him to his thoughts.

For a moment he didn't move before he realised he should see how much sleep he had been able to get. He tapped the sleeve of his uniform top - Forum standard time meant that ships were supposed to be in sync with each other - only to discover he'd only got four hours. They had agreed that because they set off towards the end of a day cycle that they would travel slower to allow them to get some rest before they arrived back at Kentar. They were useless if they were running on empty. Suddenly the anger gave way to exhaustion. After the Artemis he had undergone two months of intense rehabilitation and therapy - every survivor had, some had done more - before he had been declared fit for duty and assigned to the Endeavour. Eighteen months later and he still had nightmares, especially during stressful situations.

He slowly but surely calmed down with the help of the care he'd received back then. He knew he'd never be free from it, but he could control the toll it took on him. He also knew he owed Ali an apology.

When he finally felt like himself again he knew that trying to get more sleep was a lost cause. He also refused to spend the rest of the journey hiding from Ali. He made his way back to the cockpit to find her drinking something that smelt suspiciously like neat caffeine. She turned as she heard him enter and raised the mug. "Hey, synther's over there."

Wood turned where she was gesturing and saw the basic synthesisor above a cabinet for crockery and cutlery. He didn't understand the exact process, but synthesisors basically made food - if one could call it that - by some kind of advanced 3D printing method combined with energy-matter conversion processes. He'd always preferred not to think too much about it. Large ships, such as the Endeavour, had botanical bays to grow fresh produce (and other gardens) to compliment preserved and synthesised food. It was a luxury that small ships had no room for. Soon enough he had rejoined her with a mug of strong coffee and something resembling porridge. "How far out are we?"

"Another couple of hours," Ali explained. "If we're admitting neither of us is getting anymore sleep I can increase our speed a bit."

Wood nodded his agreement rather than speak with a mouthful of porridge. He watched as Ali balanced her mug on one of the consoles next to her so that she could enter the commands into another. He was convinced that physics should have brought the mug down but Ali didn't even glance twice at it. Clearly it was a regular cup holder. "I'm sorry about earlier," he finally apologised.

"Why?" Ali barely spared him a glance as she curled up in her chair again with her hands wrapped tightly around her mug. He was surprised that she didn't sound angry or bitter about it. "I… I know that haunted look. No one is themselves with that look in their eyes."

Wood nodded in contrition. He wasn't sure he'd be so understanding if their roles were reversed. "Still, I'm sorry," he reiterated and she nodded once to confirm that they were good. For a moment they sat in silence other than the sounds of eating, drinking and consoles. "You said you'd heard about the Artemis. About what really happened." Ali nodded in response to his query. "What did you hear?"

"Officially you were part of a group of survivors after it's drive blew. Somehow you survived three weeks in the wreckage before being rescued," Ali explained. "In the weeks that followed, warnings circulated the black markets about various implants and mods. Some off the book project had experienced some 'technical difficulties'; paranoia, psychosis, impaired motor or brain functions. Once the commemorative list from the Artemis was released I recognised some of the names. They were known in my circles for supplying the same kind of tech."

Wood rubbed at the bridge of his nose as he processed what she was telling him. He hadn't expected her to be so close to the mark. "The scientists were working on experimental implants. Live experiments on special ops soldiers. Testing them in different environments and modifying them accordingly." He paused. "Until it went wrong." He glanced at her, but she wasn't looking at him expectantly, just sympathetically. As if she could guess where this was going but wasn't going to make him say it if he didn't want to. He wasn't sure why he continued. "I'm not a scientist, I don't know the technical terms, but it was as if they had some kind of bloodlust. Like something out of a horror flick."

"It's not your fault."

"Isn't it?" Wood asked as he looked up from his breakfast again. "We were tasked with ship security. It was our job to keep people safe in case something like that happened. Yet when the first couple of fights broke out we treated them as isolated incidents; stress and cabin fever. They were warning signs and we didn't listen to them!" Ali didn't even flinch from his outburst. He was fighting against the urge to not sit still. He was fighting the urge to hurl the bowl at the far wall of the cockpit just to see it shatter into a thousand tiny pieces. "Two weeks of guerilla fighting from both sides before we finally won. Some areas of the ship… it looked like a massacre."

The sad, knowing look on Ali's face made Wood wonder why he was even telling her this. She hadn't asked him for details. She hadn't told him talking about it would make him feel better. She wasn't a psychiatrist who might know something about how to handle it. She was just a disgraced USEP scientist. Yet here he was telling her about a highly classified and highly traumatising mission.

"Almost four years ago I started to get these dark, paranoid flashes from Bert," she said so quietly he almost didn't realise she'd started talking. "I dismissed them as nightmares, dreams, fantasies… Like when someone refuses to see reason and it becomes really tempting to throttle them but you never would. Not really." She was fidgeting as she stared into her now empty mug. "Five months later the killing started. A unit from S-Core, dozens at a mining facility… Just as many from the Endeavour as we chased him down. Hundreds of civilians by the end… I saw him kill Ch'o on Tuthu… Looking back I could've stopped it if I hadn't ignored the warnings. Hundreds of people are dead because I gave my boyfriend too many chances."

"Do you really believe that?"

Ali gave a little wry chuckle. "Some days, yeah," she admitted. "Do you really believe you're responsible for the dangerous experiments on the Artemis?"

Wood returned her wry expression. That was why he had told her, because she had recognised the haunted look in his eyes. "Some days, yeah."