'F*ck. Who closed the window?'

I could have sworn I left my window open...

I dropped back down and looked for an open window. Was my room the second window on the right, or the left?

It was only dawn and the sun had yet to rise, so there weren't any people on the streets beside a couple other shady fellows.

Squinting my eyes, I saw the second window on the right had a small opening, just like the one I had left last night. It looks like I was in the wrong window before. I jumped just high enough for my fingers to clinch onto the windowsill. Holding on with one hand, I used the other to slowly push open the window while walking up the wall. Once there was enough of an opening for me to slip through, I kicked off the wall and kipped myself into the room.

Everything seems to be the way I left it, meaning no one found out. After shutting the window tightly, I noticed the covers of the bed moving up and down; a very subtle movement that could not be captured if one didn't look close enough. I only recalled putting a pillow under the sheets before I left, huh—did the pillow suddenly gain sentience?

Like all great scientists say, "there is only one way to find out," and I had a good guess of who it was.

'It was obviously...' I moved my hand over the sheets and pulled it off with one fell swoop, '...Rac—'

On my bed was a naked teenager with breasts exposed for all to see. The creature was treating my pillow like a stripper pole, wrapping its magnificent thighs around it.

I turned my head away immediately after witnessing the most obscene creation I had ever witnessed; my face was probably blushing red as well.

'It was big...'

So... you may be wondering how I got into such a situation right?

Wait! Don't go! Please! My story needs views! Even if it turns into an Erotica!

Alright, I'll stop trolling all the poor souls out there. I shall fulfill the desires of all you degenerates out there.

Hardening all the finger and forearm muscles there were in my right hand, I threw it down as fast and as aggressive as I could, aiming straight for the left butt cheek. It was a technique that would even put professional table tennis players to shame.

*Paack

"Ahhhh~" It was a moan loud enough for the neighbors to hear.

Then came an awkward moment of silence.

"The f*ck man? I'm trying to sleep here!" Aldous immediately got up while rubbing his sore ass.

I looked at him with a devilish grin, "Sleep huh? Why the f*ck are you in my bed?"

"Bed? What do you mean? This should be my room." He said in a confused manner which paired well with his bed hair.

"Your room is in the far right. This is my room."

He looked at me weirdly as if I were the delusional one. "If this was your room, why weren't you sleeping in it?"

He was quite sharp despite his obscene appearance.

"I train at night so I wasn't here. But that doesn't excuse the fact that you are completely nude on the bed!" I subconsciously glanced at his morning wo—ait, this is supposed to be child-friendly.

"Oye, the f*ck ya lookin' at." He glared at me.

"You're pretty small." I said cockily. If I complimented him or blatantly showed my disgust, it would be hard to fathom the consequences. Whereas if I jokingly insulted his manhood, it could be dismissed as a joke from a close friend; though I wasn't exactly at that level of friendship. Strange wasn't it? Sometimes, it's hard to understand the inner workings of a man even if you are one yourself.

"Kek, do you even have one? You aren't even thirteen yet." He said, holding in his chuckle while grabbing his pile of underwear and clothes from the chair he left them on.

Looks like that was the correct choice of words.

"What's going on?" The door suddenly opened, revealing a certain girl.

She took a glance at the naked monkey and then at me before giving a small bow and shutting the door. She was surprisingly calm despite seeing someone's genitals...

"I guess I'll cook." I said, finding myself out of the room in a split second.

...

She shut the door and collapsed down in the corner of the room, holding her forehead with both hands.

"He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not..." She mumbled on and on, as if trying to hypnotize herself into believing it.

...

'This is how it works right?' I tipped the candle over the stove top.

Even though the flames were already touching it, it still took a couple seconds before the stove top went ablaze.

As a college student who had a strict diet of instant noodle, instant noodle, and instant noodle, I got pretty infatuated with the art of cooking as a means to save myself. My roommates even started idolizing me for turning our daily bland instant noodle meals into actual meals, despite only adding little things such as omelets and cheap pork which we could barely afford. It was almost like one of the requirements to be a college student was to be bad at cooking. I wonder how they're doing without me?

I looked through the crates with ingredients and got a couple breakfast items before mixing and mashing. There wasn't much to work with since most of the ingredients were those that could be preserved for a long time. It must suck to not have a fridge. Out of the corner of my eyes, I spotted a bunch of eggs crammed into a tank of water.

—40 minutes later—

"...the dude sai—" The doorbell rang, interrupting Aldous's story.

"Give me a moment." He said, getting up from the table.

"Ahhh! What are you doing here?!?" He gave a small yelp of surprise.

"Oh hey Richard's son. Aldous right? So this is where you lived huh. Don't mind me, I'm here to pick up two kids."

Barging in through the door, Scarlet came up to us and said, "You guys packed yet?"

"We don't have anything to pack." I replied while stuffing the scrambled eggs into my mouth

"Great, I'm on a tight schedule so let's go." She reached out and grabbed Rachel and me by the hand before we could even say anything else.

The very next second, we were in a completely different place... We didn't even say our goodbyes to Aldous...

Since when was teleportation so easy?