Stern continues to invite me into the tent Latour disappeared into but my feet remain firmly rooted to the spot. Its not that I am afraid of confronting Robert "Excelsior" who's apparently resting inside.

Its more like I'm absolutely, soul crushingly terrified of the prospect.

Let me make one thing clear. I'm not afraid of Robert Excelsior. If I was, I would not have stolen Love during those fraudulent, or maybe not quite so fraudulent, flashbacks. But something is different this time. My senses have been thrown into havoc, focusing narrowly on the medic tent right in front of me. That clenching sensation over my chest doesn't go away, instead my heart starts pounding hard, like the hooves of a runaway horse. My entire body screams in unison at me, driving home a single message.

If I step inside the tent, my life will be in danger.

My mouth goes dry and I make an uncomfortable cough, trying to make sense of the situation. This isn't the Excelsior School. No matter how mad Robert is at me, he won't, or more accurately, Phoenix Guild won't let him summarily execute me on the spot. Robert's also not in any condition to fight after the Primal Ape beat the shit out of him. So there's nothing to worry about. I just need to master this irrational fear.

As I begin to take a step forward, my heart thumps with such force that I'm momentarily jolted. Taking a deep breath, I notice a halo forming over Stern. Just the same way Latour had something similar floating around him.

"Are you alright?" Stern asks kindly, shaking my arm cautiously, "Mr, uh ..."

"Just call me Adam." I gasp from the invisible sledgehammer impacts inside my chest, "Are you using any passive skills now?"

"No?" Stern frowns, "Are you sure you're fine?"

"No, I'm injured. Heart's getting crazy too." I harden my mouth into a thin line to stop myself from groaning, "I need a medic. Quickly."

An almost irresistible urge to flee the area seizes me, and it takes all my willpower to just keep both feet rooted to the ground. Stern's expression becomes increasingly concerned and he quickly supports my weight.

"Your legs are trembling." Stern bites his lip, "We better get you some help at once."

Then the flaps of the medic tent burst open and a thin effeminate young man with a bob haircut bursts out. The femboy marches right up to Stern, almost face to face, and delivers a harsh glare.

"James. I told you not to keep running about." the newcomer delivers a dressing down and I distantly note that he wears a medic's patch on his uniform, "You survived a death experience."

"I'm fine, Sam." James Stern answers, trying to interrupt the medic's litany of criticism, "There's someone who -"

"You are not 'fine'." Sam, the medic replies while rolling his eyes exasperatedly, "The lifeward medallion forcibly reconstructed your body at the moment of your death. There might be complications. Serious ones."

"Everyone knows lifeward medallions are safe to use." James grumbles unhappily at the verbal barrage.

"Safe to use ninety nine percent of the time." Sam dismisses the objection with a wave of his hand, "Then there's the one percent who suffer from mutations if the signs not caught early enough. Do you want to be that one percent James?"

"I would like to be the one percent." I slur, managing to force my mouth open, "The one percent that can afford a lifeward medallion."

"And who are -" Sam scowls before growing alarmed, "Oh dear! You look terrible!"

"Adam here helped with the Primal Ape." James explains, "He's hurt. Can you help?"

"The Captains are discussing in the tent, I can't perform treatment there." Sam scratches his chin in thought, "There's a clear spot close to the supply crates, take Adam there. I'll collect my bag and be with you two soon."

"Sounds like a plan." James gives a thumbs up and begins hauling me in the direction indicated.

........

"Your wound doesn't look too bad." James observes as he helps me strip off the flak jacket and shirt, "Your whole body is incredibly tense though."

"Yeah. I know. It just hit me all of a sudden." I let out a relieved groan. The moment we began moving away from the medic tent, my heartrate immediately dropped to more normal levels. James's observation is still right on the money though, I can literally feel all my muscles corded up, screaming to be called to action.

"How did you manage to get a Lifeward medallion anyway?" I ask for the sake of shifting the conversation's focus, "I didn't think being a Combatant paid that well."

"It doesn't." James makes an uncomfortable noise as he looks away, "I got it as a present. From an acquaintance."

"An acquaintance." I remark, leaving the question unsaid.

"Mm-hm." a non-committal grunt from my interlocutor.

"OK." I nod and shut my eyes, leaving the matter at that. Its not my business to pry into James's business anyway. I hear an audible sigh of relief from James as he realizes I'm not going to pursue the matter further.

"Let's see what's the problem." Sam approaches us with a doctor's bag, casting a professional eye over my injuries. Smoothly taking out a vial of salve from the bag, Sam begins smearing a thin layer of the stuff on my wound. Sam then dangles a casting focus over the wound and I feel a warm itchy sensation, as if ants were crawling all around the injured area.

"Don't fidget. You'll break my concentration." Sam's stern voice reprimands, "I'm sealing your wound right now."

I quieten down, opening an eye to watch Sam work. Then I notice a halo forming around him. The exact same kind of halo I saw around Latour and James. I swiftly close my eyes again before the growing headache becomes too much to bear.

"You're very stressed." Sam hums thoughtfully as she works her magic, "Don't worry, I've got something to deal with that."

"Why don't the medics heal us in combat?" James pipes up, "That magic could have saved many lives."

"Haven't you noticed how long the process is taking?" Sam's waspish voice quickly rebuts, "You expect the bioforms to politely wait for us to patch you combatants up?"

"Sorry, stupid question. I wasn't thinking." James apologizes.

"Obviously." Sam scoffs, "Now, hold your friend by his shoulders. He's fidgeting again."

James complies without saying anything else and I feel Sam's fingers probe my temples experimentally. A trickle of magic flows into my head and I sense the spell wend its way through my body.

"Increased aggression. Heightened alertness." Sam diagnoses, "Your friend here is still good to go for a few more rounds with the Primal Ape, James."

"Don't joke about that." I complain mildly, "That was the worst experience ever in my entire life."

"Probably why your body is reacting this way." Sam comments as she clamps both hands firmly around my head, "Can't shake itself out of 'combat mode' so to speak."

"You can help though?" I grunt, hoping for some relief. At the same time, my mind idly notes at how remarkably smooth Sam's hands are.

"Tranquilizer spell. It'll help you relax." Sam answers as I feel a pulse of magic emanating from his hands.

The waves penetrate my head, spreading through my body. Sam's magic briefly circulates inside me, before it starts to gather at a single point. My hackles rise as my heart starts to thump hard again.

"Stop resisting me." Sam complains.

"I'm not." I shoot back, "I'm not even doing anything."

I feel my heart open again, just like when I was within that abyss. And just like that, Sam's magic disappears. Consumed entirely.

"Adam's body is rejecting my magic." Sam curses.

"What do you mean?" James quizzes, shifting his grip on me as my trembling intensifies.

"The tranquilizer spell is not being allowed to take effect." Sam fires off another pulse of magic into me, "Adam's body somehow intercepts it and sequesters the spell away until it dissipates."

"Just ... just ... make this pain stop." I slur, my jaw beginning to lock up.

"I'm trying!" Sam fires back in a distressed voice, "You might have a preexisting condition that disrupts certain frequencies of magic. Like James."

James makes a meaningful cough in the background, but both Sam and myself are too preoccupied by something far more pressing.

"Damn it!" Sam shouts in alarm, "Adam, your adrenaline is starting to spike! I'm going to have to incapacitate for a bit so that you can be stabilized."

And the moment I hear what Sam is saying, my mind goes red. My mouth makes an animalistic snarl and my hand draws the knife, sending it slashing outward.

"Shit! Adam, what's wrong with you?" James grabs my arm in a lock, pulling the weapon away from Sam.

You need to trust me.

I try to speak, but more animal noises emerge from my mouth.

I am the only one you can trust. Not anyone else.

"Pin him down!" Sam cries out in the distance, "His other hand is going for the casting focus!"

I would never hurt you. I would never let anyone hurt you.

I feel James throwing me on my back and sitting right on top of my chest, preventing me from moving. My eyes are still shut, but my hearing has expanded by several magnitudes. I feel, no, I know that several people have emerged from the medic tent, with one of them walking right in my direction.

"Captain Latour," Sam says hurriedly, "Could you bring me the green phial in my bag? Quickly!"

Because at the end of the day -

"The catalyst?" I hear Latour respond as he rifles through Sam's bag.

"RARRGH!" I scream incoherently, my mouth not forming the words I want.

"I'll have to sedate Adam by brute force." Sam says as I feel something being forced into my mouth, "His body can't disrupt the frequency if its strong enough."

A thick, rich slurry is poured down my throat, carrying with it a tidal wave of Sam's magic. The void in my heart opens again, swallowing the invading magical energy. But just as I can't swallow a whole chicken in a single gulp, the void can't consume the entire spell at once.

"Its working!" James exclaims, "I can feel Adam's body begin to relax."

Blessed numbness spreads down my body like a comfortable blanket. As I drift off to sleep, my heart manages to get in one final word.

- we are the same person, aren't we?