《The Legend of the Fake Hero》Vol 9: Chapter 7 - Goblin Hunting

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Within the forest, the callous squabbling goblins rang out as they fought amongst themselves over the corpse of a freshly killed chicken. However, this chicken was not one you would find on a farm, but one that lived on the harsh world on the other side of the wave. This demon chicken, an invader from the First Wave, had no feathers and a leathery body. Its wings, folded flat atop, its body could only give it short bursts of flight. Unlike most invaders, these demonic chickens were edible, and they appropriately tasted just like a plump chicken. This was why the goblins fought amongst themselves. Blood dripped down the green goblins’ abnormally sized mouths as pieces of meat and organs dangled, caught in their jagged teeth.

None noticed the flash of shadows as something passed over them in their distraction from the feast before them. It wasn’t until an inconspicuous leaf had fallen on the head of one of them that a goblin even bothered to look up. The goblin turned back to continue engorging itself just fast enough to get a face full of yellow flame. The other five goblins jumped up in response. Arachne’s web trap immediately caught two, which she lowered and dangled from above.

Before the other goblins had a chance to react, they suddenly found their legs entangling tree roots that had begun to coil around them. In the next moment, two short figures assailed them as Crystal bashed the head of one, and Cali slashed the throat of the other two.

“I didn’t get to do anything again,” Hestia said with a slight pout.

Martel shrugged. “We haven’t run into a group larger than eight, so that’s hardly surprising given the strength of our party.”

Whether it was lesser goblins or goblins, their strength range between the Ranks F and E with only the rare ones becoming Rank D. Even though they were not even yet level 1, the party formation, ki, and magic, the party’s strength could be considered around Rank B, making these goblins small-fry. The primary reason they were hunting goblins was that they provided some XP, helped foster teamwork and cleaned up the territory.

Martel turned to the group. “It’s still early afternoon, so we do have some time, but we can also wait until tomorrow before we go into the goblin den. What do you girls think we should do?”

“I want to go now,” Kogane replied immediately.

Martel knew that her enthusiasm was because she wanted to increase her strength as quickly as possible and continue looking for her mama, who was still missing. Seeing no one expressed a different opinion, and potions were currently plentiful, Martel decided to clear out the goblins.

“Kogane, do you know any additional information that would be useful to us clearing out the goblin den?”

“What would you like to know?”

“How complex is the layout?” Martel asked, even though he had already sent in his SRIN to map out the area.

“This farm is pretty simple. One main path eventually leads to a large and open area where most of them live. There are a couple of branching paths, but they always reconnect at some point. It used to be far more complex, but some cave areas were collapsed to prevent entry to make it safer.”

“What do they eat?”

“This cave is unique because it has a decent ecosystem. Near where the goblins live is a river that occasionally will get fish and other river creatures. Goblins can also eat bats, bugs, and anything else they find down there while the lesser goblins are known to come out to search for food if needed.”

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“How is the lighting and goblins eyesight?”

“There’s a kind of glowing inedible mushroom in the cave that provides some basic illumination. It’s recommended to use some magic and make the area brighter. Goblins have a better low light vision than humans, but not by much.”

“Anything else?”

Kogane tapped her chin. “Nothing I can think of.” She said cutely. “There are several dens in the area. The only reason I know about this one is that it is closest to the road.

...

Eventually, they made their way to the entrance of the goblin den. Five goblins seemed to be patrolling the entrance, furthering the possibility that a goblin king was present. While the goblins could have enough intelligence to do so, these were normal goblins, not lesser goblins, which was suspicious.

Because stealth and ambush were impossible once entering the goblin den, they decided to go loud. Hestia taunted two, Laelynn constructed another two that Cali and Crystal dispatched while Kogane finished off the last one.

Martel nodded when he saw their efficiency and teamwork. Although it appeared as if they were a fully functioning party, Martel wasn’t completely convinced. All their encounters except for the ambush had given plenty of time and information to decide what to do. How they reacted in an emergency would truly test their teamwork.

After little over an hour of walking and slaying the occasional goblin, the party came to a large opening in the cave. They were currently between the bottom of the goblin filled hole and the top, where a small amount of light was breaking through.

Looking down, they found a surprisingly organized camp. Martel slightly frowned as he saw that the camp even had basic defenses, something rare for the intelligence of goblins. Concerned, he turned to Kogane.

“Are those defenses normal for goblins?”

Kogane shook her head. “Not for normal goblins. For whatever reason, these goblins seemed capable of some extraordinary feats for goblins. The defenses were already known about, but we ignored them. Typically only strong adventures make it this far and only do so to curb the population or rescue missions. Most adventures that farm them only get the ones that venture out of the tunnels or are in them.”

Martel nodded as he continued to look at the goblins below. Just then, there was a shrieking coming from the back of the cave. Glancing over, they saw a goblin exit another distant path screaming at the top of his lungs with a partially burnt body.

There was a commotion in the camp at the screams as a much taller and fatter goblin appeared. This goblin also appeared to have some old wounds on his body, similar to the wounds this new goblin had just received. Even at this distance, Martel could swear he could see some wariness in the goblin king’s eyes as he glanced at the caves.

“Kogane, what’s over there?” he asked as he pointed to the caves.

“That’s another system of paths, though they are a dead end. It’s a storage and prisoner location for the goblins.”

“These lesser beings take prisoners?” Arachne asked in a bored manner.

“Exclusively females,” Kogane added as she slightly shuddered.

“In that case, we should probably try to rescue anyone who’s there,” Martel replied. “However, going through the camp to do so is too risky. Even though goblins are weak, there are hundreds down there, and we could get overwhelmed.”

Naturally, Martel made this comment, excluding his and Cali’s true strength. The two could easily wipe out these goblins, but his party couldn’t say the same as they were still practicing their Ki.

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“Arachne, send your spiders to see if there’s any place close to those back caverns and the path we came.” Martel continued.

The way the path had come in, it was possible for them to be relatively close. Naturally, Martel already knew this because of his SRIN, but he wanted to keep that a secret.

Arachne said nothing as she sent the spiders to scout the area. “The closest points have a distance of about 20 feet between them, and you need to go down about 10 feet,” Arachne said after about 10 minutes.

Martel nodded as this was close to what he knew. “Show me where that point is.”

Luckily, because of the way the path curved, it was quite a ways back, so they were out of earshot from the main camp.

“Now is your time to shine, Laelynn.”

“I can be useful?” She asked as she perked up.

“Yes. Use your Manipulate Earth Spell and open a path for us to go through.”

“Okay.” She said happily.

Over the next 30 minutes, Laelynn and Martel switched between using the spell and Mana potions. There was a decent limit to how much the spell could do as it didn’t get rid of the dirt; it simply moved it. Eventually, they broke through.

Before they entered, Arachne had already confirmed that there were no goblins in the area. She had been relatively quiet since her spiders had entered. They found what seemed to be crude food storage containing several goblin and animal corpses. Given their current smell, they were probably left here because they had gone bad due to their storage conditions. Goblins did not appear to understand refrigeration.

It was the next room that Martel was hesitant to enter due to his company. However, they would have to see the cruel aspects of the world at some point. Once they were in the room, girls all had varying expressions.

Kogane closed her ears, and she took a step back with a look of fright. Hestia, who had lifted her helmet mask, and Crystal covered their mouths as if they were trying to prevent themselves from throwing up. Laelynn quickly buried her head into Martel’s chest to try and calm her shaking body. Arachne, as she had already been aware, didn’t have much reaction. However, the slight frown was enough to express her disgust with the scene before her. Even Cali, notorious for being emotionless, showed slightly gritted teeth as her fists shook and anger.

In front of them was a group of women of varying ages and races. It was obvious that the goblins had done terrible things to them. One of the women, who saw them, spoke out in a raspy voice. “Kill….Me…”

Martel, who was also having trouble keeping his emotions in check, turned to look at Kogane. “This is your territory. You should be the one to take care of them.”

Kogane took a step back in a slight panic. “Which do I do? Should I…?” She said as she looked at the woman who just spoke.

“That is an option. However, there is another one if you’d like to hear it.”

Kogane frantically nodded as she was unwilling to kill these women. She had no problem killing bandits or goblins, but she didn’t want to kill innocent people, even to put them out of their suffering.

“Do you remember your token for the Red Dragon Trading Company? Bring that out.”

Kogane nodded as she brought it out.

“Now, look at the back of it and say ‘requesting third-party extraction.’”

“Requesting third-party extraction,” Kogane repeated.

Much to Kogane’s surprise, the back of the token changed. This wasn’t magic, but the SRIN as the tokens were all made out of them.

The girls watched in amazement as a magic circle suddenly appeared on the back of the token.

“Use your mana to fill out the outline. Once that is completed, manipulate it so that it will affect these women. Let your intuition guide you.”

Kogane nodded and gulped. It took a second to get the knack of it, but Kogane was quite good at manipulating mana and managed to get the hang of it. She pointed the token at the women. A purple light shot from the token, and a circle appeared and glowed under them before they disappeared.

“What happened?” Crystal asked in disbelief.

“Is this transfer magic?” Arachne added.

Martel nodded. “It is. This is a unique function to the black token that you weren’t informed about. You can either ‘request third-party extraction’ or ‘request extraction” for yourself. The former takes more mana and is more complex and harder to cast. The former can transfer multiple people a short distance away, or the latter will only transfer you but will be easier to use.”

“Can we run away whenever we want?” Crystal asked.

Martel shook his head. “No, there are some places that cannot be used. Additionally, it takes time for the magic circle to form and use it, which is why you should not go into a situation where you are planning to use it. It is for emergencies only.”

Naturally, everything Martel said was the truth. In places where the SRIN couldn’t reach a signal from the network, which he was in the process of setting up, it would not function at all. It would send them to a nearby emergency facility in the bases that Martel was constructing where they could get emergency medical treatment if required. Martel inwardly sighed as he realized that the transferred women would need far more than emergency medical treatment. Depending on the situation, he would even consider wiping their memories. He was sure that several would attempt to commit suicide otherwise.

“Let’s keep going,” Martel said as he continued to lead the girls.

There was nothing useful in the next two rooms. However, the final room piqued Martel’s interest due to the unique nature of its occupant.

What piqued their curiosity for the girls was the fact that there was a relatively normal-looking stone door. Martel pushed the door open to raise his shield in the air as a relatively large rock came towards him.

“I don’t need any more food! Get out!” A woman’s voice shouted without looking over the shoulder that she had just thrown the rock from.

“We aren’t here to deliver your food,” Martel replied.

The female, who was under 4 feet tall, fell off her stone stool in shock. She quickly got up and looked at them in shock. “You... You aren’t goblins!”

“Thanks for noticing,” Martel said with a chuckle as he got a good look at her.

She appeared to be a smaller version of a human woman with a couple of notable changes. She had slightly higher cheekbones and pointed ears, similar to elves, but what set her apart the most was that her skin was a deep green, similar to pure goblins.

“Goblin Queen?” Kogane said in shock as she looked at the young woman who could have passed as a gnome if she had a normal skin color.

The goblin queen’s look of surprise suddenly changed to one of nervousness and fear as she processed her situation. She glanced at a crawl tunnel, which she would normally hide in but quickly decided against it. A round object appeared in her hand from her space bag as she took a defensive stance.

In response, the girls all took preparatory stances.

“There’s no need for that; we aren’t hostile,” Martel said to abate everyone’s tension. “What’s your name?” Martel asked the goblin queen.

“… Perenelle.”

“Well, Perenelle, we are adventurers who have come here to curb the increased number of goblins as the recent wave has increased them.”

Martel provided this information because he wanted to ascertain her stance on the goblins. He believed she did not have a positive opinion of them, given how she treated them when they appeared.

“Really? Can you take me out of here?” Perenelle said as he asked enthusiastically.

Martel was slightly taken aback by her exuberant request. “You don’t like being queen here?”

Perenelle scoffed. “Queen? Those goblins do nothing but fear me, except when I try to leave. They gang up on me and force me back. I’ve been trying to escape for a while but to no avail. Staying here has been a problem since the Goblin King showed up. I’ve managed to scare him with a couple of bombs, but I’m unsure how long that will last.”

“Bombs?” Martel asked in surprise.

Perenelle raised her head in pride. “Yep, my mom taught me to be an alchemist. If you help me get out of here, I’ll be your party’s alchemist. How about it?”

Just before Martel was about to answer, Crystal interjected. “We don’t need an alchemist in our party.”

Perenelle had a look of surprise as she glanced at Crystal. “Dwarf?” She mumbled to herself before she broke out into a smile. “Are you afraid that he’ll find out your useless?”

“What. Did. You. Say?!” Crystal asked as she broke out into anger.

“What’s going on?” Martel asked the others as Crystal and Perenelle were absorbed in their world.

“I think I may know what’s going on,” Hestia replied. “There are three different humanoid races besides humans and elves. They are halflings, dwarves, and gnomes. Halflings are a peaceful bunch intended to make good doctors and apothecaries. Dwarves enjoy the earth and make excellent blacksmiths and enchanters as a byproduct. Gnomes are an innovative and magically inclined race. They make for engineers and alchemists.

“The essence behind alchemy is turning something into something else with magic. This is where they conflict with blacksmiths, and thus dwarves come in. Both blacksmiths and alchemists can make metal alloys through their means, and they have been arguing about which method was superior for centuries.”

“I see,” Marty replied as he turned back the girls who were still bickering.

“You can’t do anything but produce pure metal alloys. I can add other items into the metal to give it magical properties.” Perenelle said.

“Any enchanter can add magical effects to forged equipment. Can you make a weapon with your alchemy?” Crystal retorted back.

“So long as the enchantment isn’t conflicting with the magical properties of the metal in question, you can also add enchantments to it as well. It will be better than anything a dwarf can make. And yes, I can make a weapon. It may not be as pretty as yours, but still a weapon.”

“All right, girls, that’s enough,” Martel said with a clap. “From what I understand, blacksmithing and alchemy have their strengths and weaknesses. Instead of arguing, which is superior, it would be far more proactive to use them together. Combining them can achieve a better result than either one alone, so why care?”

“… Fine, but blacksmithing isn’t worse than alchemy!” Crystal replied.

“Alchemy isn’t worse than blacksmithing!” Perenelle added.

“You’re both exactly right. Neither is better, nor are they the same. They are different and can benefit when used together.” Martel replied before he turned to Perenelle. “Perenelle, since you want to leave, what do you want to do?”

“I want to see the world! I want to learn more about engineering and alchemy! And I…” She paused for a moment and took out a small urn from her space bag, “I want to bring my mother home.”

Even Crystal, who was still worked up, became a little melancholy at Perenelle’s words.

“We can take you with us, but there will be some conditions,” Martel replied.

“Really? Great!” Perenelle beamed.

“Don’t be too happy until you’ve heard my condition. First, use your abilities as an engineer and alchemist to assist the party. This includes working with Crystal.”

“No problem.”

“Good. The second condition is for you to become my slave to protect you as you are technically a goblin, and others may not take kindly to you.”

Perenelle slightly hesitated. “All right.” She finally replied with a nod.

“Good, we’ll finalize the contract then.” He replied as he brought out a piece of Contract Paper.

Several minutes later, the deal was finalized, and Perenelle became an official party member.

Just then, Arachne’s mouth was slightly curved. “Congratulations, Patriarch. It’s quite comforting to know that we will have another girl to help us with our nightly duties.”

“Nightly duties? You mean like breeding?” Perenelle asked with a peculiar expression.

Arachne made an evil smile. “You should see when Patriarch *smack* ouch!” She replied as a coin struck her forehead.

“Don’t say such misleading words.” Martel scolded as he had noted that several of the girls had slightly embarrassed faces.

“My mom taught me all about it so that I wouldn’t do it with goblins, but you’re not a goblin, so it’s fine,” Perenelle said unabashedly.

Martel could swear she had a slight trace of excitement and expectation in her eyes, and he wondered if she hadn’t gotten some of the goblin libidos. “Stop talking about nonsense. So, you made bombs?”

“Yes, big explosions that caused lots of damage. I made them by extracting and combining various compounds with alchemy that volatility reacts to fire.” She said as she brought a bomb out. “All you need to do is light this wick that acts as a timer and throw it. Once the fire reaches the compound, it will explode, damaging enemies with heat and shrapnel. I’ve also got this Alchemist’s Fire.” She said as she brought out a glass vial that separated two different liquids. “Once the glass breaks, these two oils will catch fire that is hard to put out.”

Martel nodded as these were grenades and Molotov cocktails. “How many of these do you have?”

Perenelle looked up to contemplate for a moment. “I should have 100 bombs and 20 flasks of Alchemist’s Fire.”

“That much? Why haven’t you used them to get out yet?”

“I’m only one person, and it takes a while to retrieve them from my pack and light the molotovs. I avoid using the Alchemist Fire because fire isn’t a good idea inside caves. At least, that’s what mom told me.”

Martel nodded. “Your mom is right as they would be quite bad caves as the smoke would take up most of the breathable air. However, the goblin living area is very open and has a ceiling entrance so that it wouldn’t be too much of a problem. However, you would probably get overwhelmed before you could get out.”

“Actually, that reminds me, how did you get here?”

“We used magic to open a path as it would be impractical for us to fight through all the goblins.”

“Then we can leave now?”

“Yes, we could, but we do need to… curb the goblin population,” Martel said calmly, though he was inwardly angry.

“Any idea how?” Perenelle asked, completely unperturbed by the idea of killing goblins.

“Yes, especially with your help.”

...

Twenty minutes later, the party found themselves overlooking the goblins once again. While the newly made tunnel was left mostly intact, both entrances were closed off to appear as if they never existed. Future adventures could then use this information to infiltrate the goblin back lines without them knowing.

Martel placed a barrier above them to protect them from the eventual projectiles that would come their way. Typically, the Barrier Spell would be in the shape of a dome. However, just like most magic, the result could be slightly tweaked and molded based upon the caster’s intent and manipulation of mana. In this case, instead of a dome, it was more like a sheet.

With everything in place, and everyone getting their respective equipment, Martel turned to look at the girls. “We’re going to start the plan, are you ready?”

The girls all nodded.

Everyone who had confidence in the throwing arm had a bomb appear in their hands. It took a couple of minutes prior, but everyone could use magic to light the wicks.

After a nod from Martel, everyone began to light their bombs and throw them in the camp.

*boom* *boom* *boom* *boom**boom**boom*

The bombs wreaked havoc inside the goblin camp. Mass panic ensued as the goblins were trying to figure out what was going on. The goblin king exited his tent to find out what was going on and lead the goblins. Unfortunately for him, a coin pierced his head and killed him instantly.

Martel had subtly shot the coin in the ensuing confusion as killing the goblin king would be necessary to curb the goblins’ efficiency effectively. The reason why he didn’t use the bombs was due to the female goblins in the area. He fully intended to use this as an Experience Farm for others so that he couldn’t cut the goblin’s roots.

After a few more rounds of bombs, the goblins finally figured out where they were coming from and quickly rushed up the path towards the party. Naturally, Martel wasn’t worried in the slightest. Once the goblins were in range, they suddenly began to stop due to the sticky webbing lined on the floor. The goblins began to pile up and even travel using other goblins as footholds to keep on progressing.

“Perenelle, now!” Marcus shouted.

“Got it!” She said as she tossed an Alchemist’s Fire.

Her throw was right on the mark, thanks to the amount of practice of throwing things at the goblins. The narrowness of the path and the goblins’ inability to move effectively made the Alchemist’s Fire incredibly potent. The now flaming pile goblins acted as an effective barrier piling up even more goblins. The combination of Alchemist’s Fire and bombs decimated what offensive they could muster.

“That’s enough, retreat,” Martel said as the party made their way back through the caves.

After everyone had made it out, they made a beeline to the carriage and Terra.

“I’m glad I got the large carriage,” Martel mumbled to himself as his party was increasing in size very quickly before he turned to address them. “We only have about half an hour until sunset. We won’t have a problem with lighting thanks to magic, so we will continue a little further away and find a safe place before we set up camp.”

Several girls nodded in agreement before Martel continued.

“Additionally, because most of the Wave survivors fled west, were going to head up to a small border town up north.”

No one verbally disagreed with this decision, but Kogane appeared a little dispirited.

Martel turned to look at her. “Kogane, the Red Dragon Trading Company already looked all up and down the river where your mother was last seen. We are going to check other areas, okay?”

Kogane nodded, but still looked dispirited.

Martel turned to look at the other girls. “How are you all feeling after that fight?” He asked as it was the first time they had been in a massive killing. No one appeared bothered by it, so Martel continued. “I want you to think about how you would feel if they were human or of your race. Don’t think because you killed a bunch of goblins that you can be cocky. Make sure to steel your resolve as we will be in many fights to come.”

The girls didn’t verbally reply, but all of them seriously contemplated what Martel had said.

Martel nodded with satisfaction before he turned to leave Terra down the path.

“Wait for a second!” Kogane said as she dashed to a nearby tree. She reached inside a tree hole and pulled out a metal box.

“Is that the farm log?” Hestia asked.

Kogane nodded as she took out a book from within the box. “Whenever you use the farm, you need to document it here. They keep a record based on kills traded for bounties at the guild. However, so long as you are responsible and document it, you can farm when you pass. It prevents overhunting.” She said as she scribbled the relative information.

It was then that a strange smile broke across Martel’s face.

“What?” Cali asked when she noticed his abnormal expression.

“Nothing much, it’s just that someone interesting just used my teleportation services,” Martel replied with a chuckle.

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