《The Demon Against the Heavens》Chapter 261 - Piss on the etiquette
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"Are you sure?" smiled mischievously Iblis.
He still hadn't pulled back his hand, which was very close to touching David's skin.
With sweaty brow and bloodshot eyes from exertion, David shouted, “Yes! Yup! Get this fucking hand away! We will sign a contract!"
…
Inside the royal palace of the Heavenly Star Tigers
Shala was literally smoking from her ears as she searched for her consort all over the palace wings. She was planning to buy a mine to redo all the floors in one part of the building, but without David on hand she couldn't seal the document.
For some strange reason, unknown only to her, the King had refused over and over again to give her the opportunity to shop independently.
Long snow-white hair touched the woman's pelvis. She wore only a pastel pink top and matching loose silk pants. She was barefoot and her ankles jangled with many gold and platinum anklets.
Her skin possessed unparalleled candour, white and without any imperfections. She looked like a goddess descended from heaven.
The only flaw in this incredible divine work was the shrill, loud voice.
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVID!"
Had the Patriarch heard his voice, he might have regretted being at Iblis's mercy on an unknown planet.
As she walked to one room in particular, the Queen's face grew more and more red.
The hierarchies of the Heavenly Star Tigers were not very complicated. The royal family was distinguished from the more common creatures by the purity of their lineage. The whole of the Heavenly Star Tigers society could be considered as a kind of great Clan, managed by what was considered the nobility. For this reason it was not wrong to call, on the basis of the empire they had built, David "King", just as it was not wrong to call him "Patriarch".
They were certainly a peculiarity, an exception within the universe.
An etiquette as rigid as steel reigned among them, established by the oldest ancestor, the founder of their species. The first Heavenly Star Tiger, Khan.
Shala finally arrived in a hall covered in white marble, with a huge pool in the center, so large it could easily be exchanged for a lake.
She looked at the beautiful marble slabs, which cost a fortune even for the King of the Heavenly Star Tigers, and lifted her delicate foot.
DOOOONG
CRACK!
“DAVID! A MARBLE SLAB IN YOUR TOILETTE IS BROKEN! YOUR FAVORITE TOILETTE!"
An exceptional situation calls for exceptional measures. Her husband had avoided the issue of floor restyling for too long. It was time to put in another restyling in one of his favourite rooms.
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She was still angry with her husband for kicking out Snowflake, her last son, the youngest of all, Solmon. Actually, Shala wanted to call him Snowflake, but David considered it a name that was ridiculous to say the least. Still, Shala had kept calling him with that name and raised him differently from the others.
Although Nathal, Shamms, and Soba were brave and fearless warriors, they were nothing but stereotypes of themselves. At least Snowflake still called her "mom" rather than mother.
She had repeatedly reminded her husband that if something happened to her son, stubbornness and etiquette would be useless. She had sworn she would tear his palace and all his concubines to pieces, from first to last. She would then go and tell her father, who controlled most of the economic activities, or at least he had a share everywhere, and he would have ruined the royal family.
David had never taken his wife's threats lightly. He loved her from the bottom of his heart, but he wasn't stupid enough to think they were just empty words. Shala had already shown how capable she was when she had killed the King's past lovers one by one.
If Snowflake was still alive after causing more than one scandal at court and risking dozens of diplomatic incidents, he owed it only to his mother. From an early age the woman had spoiled him, but she had also taught him to say, and I quote literally, "fuck the etiquette". Shala did not want another beautiful statue, she wanted a son, a real son, with his strengths and weaknesses. Well, he recognized that Snowflake had so many flaws in his paws, but he also knew his son had a big heart. Maybe almost as big as his stomach.
And as she mulled wistfully over her son's fate, she suddenly heard a scream of terror.
"Shala, woman, for the love of all our ancestors, what are you doing?"
It was rare to hear David swear like that.
"Whoops, I tripped," Shala said, lifting her delicate foot, followed by the sound of the anklets, and pounding it violently back on the ground. "Whoops."
David ran his hands over his face, ready to give up the crown and be locked up in a retirement home.
“Where have you been, my love? I feel lonely when no one keeps me company! " the Queen said, raising her foot again on another slab of marble.
"My love, stop a second!" David materialized beside her, hugging her.
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Satisfied, Shala began to purr and a smug expression appeared on her face.
“I've been to visit our son Solmon,” David said, unable to lie to his wife.
Shala immediately raised an eyebrow, distancing herself slightly from her husband and looking at him with two eyes of fire. "And…?"
“And he's fine, fine. Very fit, I would say. I happened to be there with our dear sons and I went to say hello, that's all. He said that sooner or later he will come back. Ah, he also said he will keep in contact. And, I thought, why don't you go and see him every now and then?"
David's words were totally out of the blue for Shala. For a moment she thought her husband had been replaced by a shapeshifter. She had never heard of senile dementia in the Immortals, but perhaps this was the first case ever?
…
A few minutes earlier
"Father," Snowflake said, looking David in the eye.
His brothers had already gone back and now only father and son remained, facing each other, surrounded by a static battle between Goblins and Undead.
“The contract we made with Iblis prevents us from breaking our word, on pain of our lives. There will be no interference on this small planet,” remarked David.
Snowflake nodded slowly.
“Your mother is torturing me. I hope that sooner or later you decide to go back to being a Heavenly Star Tiger. "
Sighing, Snowflake assumed a tone that Helial and the others had never heard, perhaps they never would have heard it: “Tell mom I miss her very much, but I cannot return at the conditions of the Heavenly Star Tigers. However, father, I am training without your help, yours and that of my brothers. Iblis may be what he is, but he guided me into Mana training, without requiring me to shed anyone's blood. He looked at me and thought it was enough to teach me a Skill that goes beyond anything our family has."
Snowflake's words possessed unparalleled dignity and fortitude.
David smiled and shook his head.
“I'm not afraid you may end up on the same path as Iblis, son,” David's words were filled with solemnity, “but if you are going to take the side of his descendant, we will end up on different sides. Think about your mother, how she would be, knowing her children are fighting against each other."
David pointed to Helial out of the corner of his eye. He had quickly exchanged a few words with Iblis and had learned of the clash that would shake the universe again. Iblis and Amaterasu would fight again, for the last time. It was a pity not to be able to report the news to anyone, due to the contract he had just signed. But at least the Heavenly Star Tigers would have had time to prepare.
“When the time comes, I'll be among all the assholes who wanted me out of that bloody fucking building. I'll take a great shit on the throne and take command of the Heavenly Star Tigers. My first action will be to piss on the etiquette, father, after kicking my brothers and you in the ass.”
Snowflake showed his middle claw and braced himself for a series of blows. Whenever foul language took flight in front of David, unless Shala was close to him, Snowflake would receive a healthy dose of blows - all for his own good.
David didn't seem to hear a word.
He turned to the battlefield around him and said, “You seem to have a lot to do. I'll tell your mother to visit you every now and then. I will reveal your position." He threw a White Crystal Seal between the white cat's paws. “Call her when you can, and make a deal with her when he's not around,” he said, turning his thumb to Iblis.
The Devil waved goodbye, in a much better mood than before. Having tied David and his three idiot children to a binding contract, he could only be tremendously happy. Compared with those three idiots, Snowflake seemed almost pleasant.
“I will not interfere with your adventure on this planet, know that. But your death would break your mother's heart. Therefore, do not die."
A dimensional rift opened in front of David, who nodded to his son. Once the rift closed behind him, the Patriarch let out a laugh.
Shit on the throne and destroy the etiquette of the Celestial Star Tigers? If Snowflake really became strong enough to dare to do something like that, then he was sure his son would lead his race into a new era of prosperity.
"We'll see," murmured the King to himself, not knowing what catastrophe he was going to face back in the palace.
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