> Wow, I think I just entered a try hard convention. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has either the most cumbersome steel junk armour, or just random straps of thick leather wrapped around themselves like a warrior gimp suit. These are my peeps? Jesus I need to class up ASAP. Hehe, class up, actually makes a lot of sense in this scenario. Is that guy hanging BBQ tongs off his belt? Hahahaha oh god I’m literally seeing his respect drip off him. Focus man, focus. First I gotta get the money, then I get the power, and then I get… crap well I’ll remember it if it’s important.

As Jake performed his one man comedy show for the sole audience member in his head, he slowly moved further into the G section of the guild. Lined up on the walls were massive monitors with digital sticky notes explaining quests. Upon further inspection Jake noticed that the quests, although all rank G, still had a range of difficulty depending on their type. For example he found a ‘-‘ quest that involved shovelling horse crap in the stables, a ‘0’ quest that required aiding a herbologist in acquiring herbs from just outside the wall, and then another ‘+’ quest denoting the retrieval of some kind of furry frog’s tongue.

“Well lets make my debut nice and easy here on Prime, how about collecting this ‘Buckweed’. What a terrible name, but hey, at least its a basic component of an antiseptic.. or so the note says.”

Tapping on the note with his finger Jake received a prompt on his band asking whether or not to accept the quest.

QUEST: Collect 50 bundles of ‘Buckweed' and deliver them to the guilds administration.

NOTE: Receive a hessian bag at front desk to carry the herbs.

RESTRICTION: No time limit (reoccurring quest)

REWARD: 50 credits.

“Accept, though no EXP? Well i guess that makes sense since there are no levels. Kind of like, keep developing yourself however you want style until your overall class goes up? Yep sounds plausible so I’ll go with that. Damn I'm smart.”

After picking up his sack, Jake then strode with purpose towards the sole gate leading north out of the city. However, little did Jake know that in the corner of the guilds ground floor a sinister shadow was watching…

> Nope just a coat rack, I'm losing it! Better pick up a water canteen on my way out of town though, and a couple strips of jerky. Don't want to be questing on an empty stomach! Actually, it’s a bit weird how I'm not hungry yet… Food for thought, hehe I’m hilarious.

30 minutes, 1 canteen, 5 strips of baffle jerky (some cow variant) and 15 credits later. Jake was emerging from the city in all his sweaty glory, looking forward to this new adventure of growth.

1 hour later.

Jake, bending over in the shrubs roughly 1km away from the gate (still in sight because hey, knowing where to run to is always helpful) proceeded to pick a weed that looked slightly dead up from the ground.

“Whoo, thank god the band has an identify helper so i know what I'm looking for. 10 weeds to a bundle, 6 and a half bundles collected, who the man? I’m the man!”

/rustle

> Hm? what was that?.. probably just farted.

/rustle, rustle

> Over there? Monster? Come, you shall fall before me mighty beast and become my first prey!

As Jake was over embellishing his own strength to no one in particular, out from the foliage popped a white rabbit with a short spiralling horn protruding its forehead. Yes, the fabled beginner mob from almost any RPG! Standing tall on its hind legs it sized up Jake, cutely tilting its head. then out of nowhere the rabbit planted itself on all fours and sprung the 2m distance into Jakes chest in the blink of an eye.

> Huh? Where'd the little bunny g..

“OOOWWWWWWW!! YOU LITTLE FUCKING SHIT OF AN ASS, DILDO FACED SHIT!!”

Realising that he was now sporting a new accessory, and that the bunny was constantly kicking its legs in an attempt to dislodge itself from his belly button. Jake, seeing blood spilling around the protrusion, did something kind of stupid. He came up with a sure win plan.

“Mwahaha I’ve got you, you little shit. Be devoured by my awesomeness! I’ll absorb your fluffiness and shit out your decomposed carcass as fertiliser!”

Jake grabbed the little bunnies head, holding the horn still inside of him like a crazy ex-girlfriend clinging on for dear life. Then came the stupid part, he imagined the flesh of his stomach changing into the black mass of muscle that accompanied the body modification, willing it to envelop and digest its prey. Watching his plan succeed, Jake was grinning manically.. Until it started.

“Ugh, ow. Ow. OW! OWWW!! FUCKING SHIT, BURNING ACID REFLUX, BALI BELLY, WORLD ENDING MOTHER FUC…..”

Jake blacked out.