“Whoa, whoa! That’s not right!”

Whether or not my bullet connected, the golem reacts. I sidestep a searing eye beam and the raging slime’s desperate splashes, bury a couple rounds in its shrinking blue mass. The slime’s HP drops point by satisfying point. I can’t say the same for the golem, who interrupts my assault on its master with a sweep of its hand.

“Two minutes remaining.”

What, already!?

My eyes widen. Come on, luck! Don’t fail me now! There’s no time for glitches and fumbles with my pride on the line…!

“Guooooh!”

The Pilot King Slime spasms as though electrified. I’m surprised it’s not [Enraged]! I spring back and hammer several [Concentrated Strikes] into the slime, which explodes with a satisfying glorp. The splash of blue goop isn’t all that exciting this time.

Phew... With my SP halved, my vision grows fuzzy at the fringe. Still, I have enough energy to kite the now free-golem towards the fence. Come on, just a little closer now…! The golem’s attacks grow haphazard without anyone directing it, but they’re simple enough to dodge so long as I stay out of range.

I clench my jaw and fire at the golem’s eye. The lid snaps shut, sends my bullets bouncing away--

Pain streaks through my side, so hot and sharp and sudden that my pistol clatters to the ground. Then it happens twice.

CRITICAL HIT x2

Lesser Sour Jelly Golem reflected your attack! HP -12!

God damn, do I ever feel that.

So… I’m 13 HP away from respawning, huh? I’d laugh if I didn’t hurt so much. I came too far to fail the exam now! Bracing my injured side with one hand, I retrieve my pistol and do what I can to avoid the golem’s AOE. Something slick and warm seeps through my fingers.

“Quinn, are you alright?” Antoine stays back, but a worrying urgency raises his voice. “There may be something wrong with its moveset--the trial mobs shouldn’t reflect projectiles. If you want to stop--”

“Let me focus!”

My voice echoes louder than I expected. Losing my cool over honest concern… true Heroes aren’t that petty. I temper my words with a strained chuckle, act like my side isn’t on fire.

“I need to see this to the end.”

My reply wrestles its way through parched lips. With eyes stinging and blurry from sweat, I spend a moment recovering SP before brandishing my gun.

“One minute and thirty seconds remaining.”

“Fight on!”

Thanks, Ms. Recording-Of-Valeria. Your words give me life. Despite my shaking hand, my crosshair blinks red upon alignment with the golem’s last shoulder.

Breathe in, breathe out.

【CONCENTRATED STRIKE】

【CONCENTRATED STRIKE】

【CONCENTRATED STRIKE】

KSHH!

The golem’s arm crumbles to the ground. I cover my mouth with my forearm and hold my breath while the resulting cloud of toxic dust settles. I can’t afford a second dose.

CRITICAL HIT x2

Lesser Sour Jelly Golem’s HP -12!

The golem torso rocks on its feet, weak from the barrage. Unfortunately, it’s not the only one in poor condition. I drop to a knee and let my gun arm go limp. My breaths come in laboured, heaving puffs that even the battle soundtrack can’t block out. A red overlay tints my vision and distorts the stars surrounding me.

“Haah… haah…”

My side throbs with every heartbeat, but I have to press on. The ground shivers beneath me as the golem lumbers forth. Its pupil flashes, shrinks, narrows to a slit. I prepare myself for the pain of dodging and raise my pistol.

If I shoot, the golem might reflect the attack and kill me. If I don’t shoot, the countdown timer ends with me stumbling around like a coward... and that’s what the history logs will remember.

Well, I guess Valeria will be seeing me in a couple days.

I pull the trigger.

MISS!

Lesser Sour Jelly Golem’s HP -0!

“Huh--?”

What’s going on? Glad I’m not dead, but I’m know my attack phased through its body this time. Maybe I should’ve stopped. Doesn’t take a Hero to realize something’s gone wrong.

I back away, the golem flickering where it stands. Polygons vanish and reappear, larger than they ought to be, distending its wireframe in unnatural ways. Antoine curses in the background. His voice snaps me from my stupor.

【OBSERVATION I】

L?RG? J?LLY G?L?M Lv. ?7

HP: Failed to Appraise

Mp: Failed to Appraise

sP: Failed to Appraise

My breath catches in my throat. I don’t know half as much about our world as the NPCs running the First Class Trial Dungeon, I’m sure, but I recognize a glitch when I see one.

“A-Antoine? Something’s wrong with the Boss!”

“Hang in there! I’m paging Valeria.”

Beep… beep… beep…

“Hello?”

“Valeria, we have a problem.” Disapproval adds tension to his already terse tone. “Are you seeing this? Call off the golem -- whatever you done, you’ve done too much.”

“I’m sorry! I just… I thought I’d got the hang of modding by now!” Valeria’s voice is a far cry from the playful singsong I recall from the tutorial arena. “I already called off the timer. I been trying to disable the golem for a bit, but the usual commands won’t work. It must’ve corrupted somehow.”

“‘Somehow’? There’s a reason modding was punishable by permaban, Val.”

“I’m trying to help, ‘kay? Don’t lecture me! I’m doing my best, and I already feel stupid!”

Antoine grumbles something drowned out by the soundtrack. This side of their relationship’s fascinating and all, but can’t they save bickering for later? The golem’s arms rematerialized larger than I remember them.

GRRR….

Its eye settles on me and glares. I fire at its shoulders, knees, even risk the iris, but my bullets glance off them like pebbles. My SP won’t rise past 75%. I suppose that’s my wounds talking.

“We’ll continue this later, sis.”

A short ‘beep’ sounds when Antoine kills the call. I fire round after useless round at every imaginable weak point, but with the red overlay hampering my vision, I can’t tell if I’ve found a vulnerability. The golem stomps forward and grabs me.

I don’t have enough breath to curse. Its crushing grip wreaks hell on my body.

Be careful! HP -10!

Basic Pistol unequipped from Weapon Slot 1!

Haha…

I tried.

I’m too weak for terror, now. It’s a shame, though… I think I had a pretty good run. I struggle for breath as the golem lowers me to eye level, stare into its glowing iris.

So, will I be roasted alive? I guess it beats falling to my death in a Caterpine hatch.

I close my eyes and wait for death. Better go with dignity if I’m gonna fail a newbie test.

…

…

…

SHNK!

The arm clutching me trembles. My eyelids crack open, just wide enough to see Antoine in the seat that once belonged to the Pilot King Slime. Balanced in its shallow neck cavity, he drives one long dagger deeper into the golem’s shoulder joint.

【CONCENTRATED STRIKE】

The overlay ruins my ability to distinguish colours, but the light that bursts from the joint is impressive all the same.

CRITICAL HIT

L?RG? J?LL? G?L?M’s HP -20!

An agonized roar fills the arena. Gravel sprays in all directions. The golem’s arm falls, taking me along with it. The remains fade into sparkling dust just before we hit the ground, saving me from a fatal impact, and despite my injuries I drag myself to safety.

“Won’t be a second, Quinn.”

From my arse on the floor, I watch Antoine flaunt his levels at the glitched golem. I’ve never seen an NPC move like a Hero, lightning-quick while he dismantles it limb by clumsy limb. Arms fall. Legs buckle. The golem avoids some attacks by lucky flickers into wireframe mode, but Antoine suffers no more than a 2-HP graze from its laser after knocking the brute to its back.

“Ugh.” He thumbs the blood from his cheek and climbs its stomach. I hate to admit it, but his disdainful face is actually kinda cool. “Down you go.”

Antoine gives his dagger a stylish twirl. Then, with dark eyes narrowed, he flings it down into the golem’s pupil.

CRITICAL HIT

L?RG? J?LL? G?L?M’s HP -50!

O V E R K I L L