badgegirl is alive

so

well

that's something

think maybe doctor ant is not the only one reading this journal. i mean. i don't really. care. it's just. stuff. words. compulsive brainunload because computer kept telling me to do it. 'hey jin you better write something or talk to someone because otherwise parts of your brain are going to literally die' and all that. and i mean. computer is usually right. so. journal. that humans. have read. i guess. because otherwise how do they know i something badgegirl. no one else. just her. and she is not. talkgoodperson. not first choice for. interrogator. negotiation role. maybe in theory it seems like a good idea. send the socially deficit person to communicate with the socially deficit person. well no actually even in theory that is clearly a terrible idea with obvious flaws. socially deficit people are socially flipping deficit and two negatives do not make a positive.

i mean nontalker and nontalker does not somehow magically create talk

how is that not

so obvious

well anyway. it could be worse. nontalky person is better than talky person. badgegirl doesn't even look at me. i still don't feel good. about human. near. but. badgegirl is better than. otherhuman.

anyway she is not here now

i am alone

thinking about bunker construction. secret research workshop is of course on lowest level. basic survival bunker base architecture. you do not need to be a superscience individual to figure out this junk. that is where my stuff is. right humans? do not fiddle too much. teleports are not. fiddle friendly. humans do you hear me. do you read my words. leave. teleports. alone.

also disregard stuff about escaping

that was just a joke

haha

oh and eyespider is a delusion. my eye cannot really come out of my head and walk around. what a ridiculous idea.

is this pointless

why am i still writing

should be making up distraction stuff. falseleads. to cover my real plan.

or is that actually what i am doing

right

now

you will never know. humans. until it is too late.

that was another joke

you are learning that i am secretly hilarious

btw if you see a little eyesized spider thing scuttling around you are hallucinating. don't worry. benign. ignore.

if i did have an eyespider though i am sure that it would be making me feel better. to be able to walk around. and look at things. i am also sure that the eyespider would have no weapons and be no threat to anyone. it would just be a harmless cute little thing that could maybe stop a superscience genius girl from falling apart mentally. and maybe it would make her feel better about talking. if she could have that eyespider.

this is all theoretical of course

eyespiders don't exist

what an idea

i am just a strange girl with a wild imagination

but i am starting to feel

like maybe

well anyway

i can't help but notice that nobody has brought me tea

oh what a shame

that i have no tea

gosh wouldn't it be great if someone brought me tea

that would make me feel more positive generally

and specifically towards the humans who gave me tea

just saying

just talking to myself in my journal here

not like anyone else is going to read this

wink