《Above All Shadows》50. Two Birds, One Stone
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Loki sighed and climbed out of bed, flinging out his left arm as he did so. His hand made a graceless swipe over the bedside table and sent flying everything that had been stacked on it.
On the other side of the room, Thor rolled onto his back and groaned. 'What are you doing?'
'Nothing, nothing,' Loki replied hurriedly. None of the lights in the small cabin they shared on the USS Gibraltar were lit and the moonlight that fell through the narrow window afforded Loki only enough light to make out the shapes of the two books he had kept on the bedside table. He nudged them out of the way, then grabbed his coat and slid on his boots.
'Where're you going?' Thor asked as Loki opened the cabin door and the uninviting, electric lights from the corridor flooded the cabin. Thor propped himself up and attempted to glare at Loki through half-open eyes; he didn't much appreciate having his slumber disturbed.
'To relieve myself, what else?' Loki replied. He made certain there wasn't even a hint of genuine contrition in his next words. 'I'm sorry to have woken you. Get back to sleep, I'll be back in five minutes.'
'Close the door behind you then, will you?' Thor grumbled. He sank back onto the mattress and pulled the blanket over his head.
Making sure to leave the door open by an inch, Loki indulged himself in a small, self-satisfied smile. The blankets they had been given were thin. The fact they provided little warmth bothered neither Loki nor Thor, but the material was also too thin to block out the light now beaming into the cabin, which would leave Thor irate soon enough.
He muttered polite greetings to those he passed -- primarily the watch-keepers on the way to a shift change and intelligence analysts scheduled to be on call through the night. By the time Loki had descended two levels, however, his smile faded. He slipped his coat over his shoulders and ran his hands through his hair in an attempt to make himself look presentable. His pace had already been unhurried, but he halted completely before a pair of well-armed, surly SHIELD agents at the door to his destination.
'Phil Coulson requested I assist with the prisoner's questioning,' Loki said. 'If you could let me through?'
'And you are?' asked the more senior-ranking agent of the two.
Loki faked an embarrassed smile. 'Right, of course. I'm Loki Odinson.'
'Ah, yes, we've been expecting you, sir. One moment, please.'
The agent who had addressed Loki turned to deal with the door, while the other kept his eyes locked on Loki, but there was no sign of real concern in his movements. Many people had taken their turn at visiting Gamora since she had been brought aboard the helicarrier and these two guards had earlier received a message from their superiors advising them of Loki's imminent arrival.
Loki had contemplated a number of plans that had involved making himself invisible for a time or relying on his illusions. Then he realised that it would require far less effort to fool a fingerprint scanner and send an email from Coulson' address to the helicarrier's security team.
On the other side of the door, the air was cooler and Loki's footsteps seemed to reverberate against every inch of the thick walls. The glass bowl Gamora was contained in had finger-marks across it; Loki couldn't determine which side of the glass they were on. Gamora herself had moved little since Loki had last looked at footage of her. She sat in her cream-coloured prison suit on the sole piece of furniture inside the cell -- a low bench with a painfully thin pad. Her head rested against the glass wall and her eyes stared into the middle distance, focused on nothing.
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'Close the door and don't let us be interrupted,' Loki told the guards. Once the door shut behind him, he walked over to the chair Doctor Prothero had left behind and pushed it closer to the glass. As he sat himself down, he offered Gamora a warm smile. 'Which is worse in your opinion? That sad excuse for a bed or how the lights never go out in here?'
'I'll tear your intestines into shreds before I'm done with you,' she replied, her voice low and raspy.
'Gamora,' Loki said, 'I owe you an apology. I know you won't care for what I have to say and I do understand. I too have a sibling I'm fonder of than I care to admit to anyone and when I thought he was gone, I... well, it was never my plan to hurt Nebula. She was amazing. As a fighter and as a person.'
'Didn't stop you killing her.'
He drew his hands together. 'She stood between me and the Mad Titan.'
'Just so you know: you're shit at apologies. Now, fuck off.'
It was tempting to listen to Gamora and simply leave. He had come to say a great deal and although he had agonised aplenty about what he was about to do in the previous hours, now that he was before her all those plans, which had already been vague and half-formed, melted into nothing. He rose from the chair and used his magic to slide it right to the back, next to the door to the room. Taking a deep breath, he walked up to the glass.
'It's strange for me to see you like this,' he said. 'The first time we met, our positions were reversed and I have to say, you did Thanos' work with gusto back then. But knowing now what became of you in later years, I suspect even then you had your doubts. Of course, that was then and this is now. I have interfered and I fear I've pushed you down a path you weren't supposed to take.'
Gamora's eyebrows drew upward. 'I've no idea what you're talking about.'
Yes, well, I hardly know myself.
Loki glanced back to the door - no one there, which was exactly as he wanted it. But he didn't dare to look up to the cameras.
'Did Ebony Maw explain to you what he saw when he looked inside my mind back in San Francisco?' Loki asked.
'He said you know more about the infinity stones than you told us. No surprise. You lied about everything else, why not the stones too?'
Loki snorted, then schooled his face and forced himself to stay on track. 'Not quite. Perhaps Ebony Maw kept the details to himself in an effort for his own benefit somewhere along the way. Or, more likely, he himself didn't understand.' Loki squared his shoulders and tapped his fingers against his thigh. 'He saw me and my brother aboard the Statesman.
'It was a refugee ship - the sole ship that managed to get away when our world was destroyed. It carried the few thousand Asgardians who survived that calamity, myself and the Tesseract, which I had managed to smuggle out of Asgard's vaults during Asgard's last, desperate hour. Then your father came, with his children. They had just destroyed Xandar and took the infinity stone held there. They killed half the people on board, forced me to give up the Tesseract and then set the refugee ship on fire, condemning anyone still trapped within.'
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'I don't understand what you're saying.' Gamora replied, frowning. She rose from the bench and crossed the cell to stand opposite Loki.
'Time-travel. I'm from the future where Thanos won.'
Norns, that was almost too easy to admit.
Gamora recoiled, but then shook her head and glared at Loki. 'This is another lie.'
'Would that it were. It was a masterful thing -- he bad his time and then he took possession of all the stones within days. And then it was a snap of his fingers to turn half the universe into dust. Except it wasn't half, not even close. Disorder, fighting, hunger everywhere. There was no balance, no peace, no prosperity, only death upon death upon death.'
'You're lying!'
'About what?' he asked. 'The time-travel, or that Thanos is actually capable of doing what he always said he would?'
Gamora started to reply, but then abandoned whatever she had been about to say. She peered at Loki as if trying to find clarity in his expression. After a painfully long pause, she muttered, 'This can't be true.'
'You know it can. You remember what he did to your home-world and to your parents. And to Nebula's world. You've heard rumours, no doubt, about what happened there after Thanos brought balance to the populace.'
She swallowed and moved away from him, retreating back to the relative seclusion of the bench at the cell's rear. There was a gangway running all around her cell with platforms leading right up to the glass on each side, but Loki decided it was better to wait where he was and give Gamora the opportunity to mull over what he had just revealed. However, as the silence lingered, he found himself unable to stay still or to contain himself. He had kept so many secrets since he had returned to the past - in fact, he'd had plenty of secrets before that too - now that he had exposed one fraction of those hidden truths, he longed to tear them out and blurt out everything.
'Do you want to know what happened to you and Nebula in my original time-line?' he asked.
'No.' Gamora leaned forward and propped her elbows on her knees. In a low, hesitant tone she went on, 'Yes.'
'Back then I was the one who led the attack on this planet and tried to steal the Tesseract. My plan was a failure, I was captured and my adoptive father sentenced me to rot in a cell for the rest of my days. You and I never met again, but you made a name for yourself, so I heard stories about you often enough once I found a way to escape my imprisonment.
'After a thousand years of war, the Kree Empire and Xandar agreed on a peace treaty, which was widely celebrated, but not accepted by all. One of the Kree fanatics... You might know him already. Ronan the Accuser? He made a deal with Thanos: an orb that contained the power stone in exchange for the total destruction of Xandar. Thanos sent you and Nebula to help Ronan recover the Orb.'
'He wouldn't do that,' Gamora said.
Loki cocked his head. 'How many worlds have Thanos and his follower brought peace to by halving their population? The total obliteration of a world is merely a step further. And in exchange for an infinity stone? Are you certain he wouldn't be tempted?'
'But... I don't -'
'You didn't. Thanos' alliance with Ronan was the last stroke for you. You betrayed him and attempted to steal the orb yourself. You were arrested and in prison found yourself among a motley crew of petty criminals. The reports were hazy on the details, but they did have certain facts locked down. You and these petty criminals managed to escape from prison and joined the battle for Xandar, eventually defeating Ronan. The power stone was left with the Nova Corps on Xandar and you went off with your band of misfits until Thanos made his final move.'
'Band of misfits? You don't make it sound so appealing.'
'As I said, we never met face to face again. All I know about your eventual fate came from one of these misfits -- a genetically engineered raccoon with a penchant for stolen prosthetics. He and Nebula were the only ones to survive the Infinity War, he was... well, he didn't cope. He was a danger to himself last I saw him.'
Gamora sucked in her cheeks and made a move to stand up, then changed her mind. 'How did I die then?'
'I don't know,' Loki said. 'Not the details at least. I was rather occupied with trying not to die myself at the time. I learned this much: your ship picked up the distress call from our refugee ship, but found only one survivor - my brother, who informed you and your friends about Thanos' recent successes in claiming the infinity stones. Then you split up. Thor and the raccoon headed to Nidavellir, while you, your boyfriend and two of your other companions headed to Knowhere.
'It was too late, as I understand it. Thanos already destroyed Knowhere and now, he captured you. You and you alone knew where the soul stone was. He had Nebula, so he tortured her until you relented and revealed the stone's location to him. Nebula said you and Thanos left together. When he was next seen, he admitted that you were dead and had the soul stone in his possession.'
Gamora shook her head, clearly refusing to look Loki in the eye, then turned away entirely. 'So he....' She inhaled sharply, then took several slower breaths. 'And Nebula?'
'She turned on him somewhere along the way too. She'd returned to the Sanctuary to kill Thanos, but he captured her. The torture was a punishment as much as a way to coerce you into doing what he wanted you to. She escaped and survived the devastation your father inflicted on the universe. After, Nebula, Thor and Stark went to get revenge and kill Thanos. That didn't work either. The last message I got from Stark said that Nebula was dead and that your father had my brother.'
'My father,' Gamora mumbled hesitantly.
'Adoptive father,' Loki conceded. 'Not that it matters. I didn't lie about my heritage back on the Sanctuary. My blood-father disposed of me when my existence became an inconvenience. As for Odin, he was a warmonger in his youth and lied to me and Thor our entire lives. It doesn't matter who your father is. It's part of growing up -- you leave your parents' shadow and decide what sort of person you want to be.'
'You think you have a way with words, don't you?' Gamora said. She still stood upright, which is more than Loki would have expected considering what he just shared with her, but her shoulders did seem to sag and deep frown lines creased her face. 'You stand here all high and mighty, but you can't be. You tried to steal the Tesseract, the man who raised you imprisoned you for life. What despicable things had you done to warrant him doing that to you?'
Loki stifled a wince. 'I made a deal, just like Ronan did. The Tesseract in exchange for dominion over this planet.'
He had expected her to laugh or to mock him, so he was somewhat put-off by Gamora's obvious confusion. 'Why this planet?'
'Believe me, that decision wasn't my finest moment.'
'You know, the more you say, the less I like you. And I pretty much thought you were scum from the moment we met.'
Loki bit back a vicious remark about Gamora's lack of feminine virtues; he had come so far with her, he couldn't let it all come to naught out of personal enmity. 'This isn't about me. It's not even about you, Gamora. This is about Thanos and the irreparable damage he plans to inflict upon the entire universe. I trust you know what I want from you.'
'He is still my father,' Gamora replied, though her words were barely audible.
'Come now, Gamora. He killed your real father. And your mother. Then he took you and brainwashed you until you became a pointy instrument perfect for furthering his ambitions,' Loki's eyes ran over shapes of the cold Midgardian architecture all around them, then narrowed in on the cell's occupant once more. 'Half the universe, Gamora, remember that. Half the universe weighed against your need to get a pat on the head from a monster.'
Have I made my point sufficiently?
Loki grimaced. He could have gone on for an hour more, but Gamora still refused to meet his gaze, which didn't bode well. He tapped his fingers against the thick layer of the cell wall and turned away. 'We'll continue this tomorrow, shall we?'
Expecting no reply from Gamora, he unlocked the door and swept back out into the corridor. He made it all of four steps past the doorway when Thor descended on him.
'Let go!' Loki demanded as Thor grabbed the front of Loki's shirt and dragged him into the surveillance room. With a frustrated snarl, Thor all but flung him into a chair. 'That was uncalled for!'
'What you told her... Was that true?'
Loki straightened up in the chair and chewed for a moment on the inside of his lip. 'What are you doing here?'
'You left the door ajar. I waited for you to come back, but you didn't, so I wondered if you'd come to some harm. The guards said you were inside, so... Norns, it doesn't matter! What did I just overhear?'
'I've no idea what you overheard.'
Thor leaned forward, resting his hands on the arms of Loki's chair. 'You were talking about an Asgardian refugee ship when I got here. So, is it true? Time travel that is. Why would you tell her when you refused to tell me?'
'Refuse? You just heard plenty. Think of it more like... killing two birds with one stone,' Loki replied with a chuckle. He dug his feet into the floor and pushed until the chair began sliding backwards, and out of Thor's reach. 'Come on, brother, I can get out of bed without making a massacre of my bedside table.'
If the situation hadn't been so tense, Loki would have burst out laughing. Although they were both full-grown adults now, the pleasure that came with playing Thor never lost its lustre. Often enough Thor too found it amusing and was a good sport about becoming the target of Loki's mischief, but this wasn't one of those times. His hands were clenched. His hair, in utter disarray at this late hour, and his narrowed eyes gave him the air of a feral wild man.
'You probably have questions,' Loki said in a level tone. He had the feeling that if he wasn't cautious with Thor here he would find himself shoved through the wall. And perhaps, even if he were cautious. Thor had a lot to learn about his little brother.
'Your tale to the Zehoberai was the truth then?' Thor pressed.
'It's a rare occasion, but I am capable of forcing such a thing out of my mouth.'
So much for caution.
'Loki,' Thor replied, adopting a tone of warning he no doubt learned from their mother. He slid his hand through his hair and pulled the locks away from his eyes. 'How far back did you go? Why was Asgard destroyed? Why... No, I can't have heard it right. You said you led the attack on Midgard in Ebony Maw's place?'
Loki closed his eyes. This conversation was precisely what he had wanted to avoid all along. Confessions suited him ill, in fact, something painful rose up deep in his guts and threatened to leave him doubled over. Exposing himself to Gamora had been easy - she meant nothing to him. But Thor was another matter.
There has to be a way to smooth what I've got to explain. Not that I deserve for anything to be smoothed over.
'About a decade.' Loki made the conscious effort to open his eyes, but focused on his untrimmed nails rather than on Thor's face. 'Why did I go back? There wasn't anything left of the future, as far as I could tell. Everyone who could've done something was dead. Thanos still had all the infinity stones. What was to stop him using them again? Not that there was anything he could've ventured to do that would match what crimes he'd already committed. I didn't have a solid plan. I just wanted him dead or if I couldn't do that, I wanted to save you. It was to be some small measure of recompense for my part in Thanos' victory.'
Thor offered no answer to his words. Uncomfortable at the silence, Loki ventured a hesitant glance at his brother. His expression was decidedly odd - caught between horror, pity and something else Loki couldn't quite grasp, which unnerved him all the more.
'Norns have mercy, Loki. What did you do?' Thor finally asked. Demanded, really.
Loki saw then what the rest of the night entailed for them both. Thor would throw out questions, each more cutting than the last, and Loki would force an answer. The tale would come out in shambolic snippets, leaving Thor more and more irate. And the knots in Loki's stomach would twist tighter and tighter until he couldn't bring himself to utter a word more.
He wondered if it mattered. If he were to tell the truth, no matter how he chose to explain it, nothing good lay on the other end of that tale.
Thor turned off the screens that beamed out footage from Gamora's cell and reached for one of the other chairs in the room. Seating himself, he nudged the chair closer to Loki, the chair-wheels hissing over the dusty floor. 'Whatever it was, that was a different time-line and you've clearly come to regret your deeds. I won't judge you on them, if that's what you're concerned about.'
'Don't make promises you can't keep. It's a dangerous habit for a king.'
'I don't speak as your king, but as your brother.'
Loki pressed his fingers together, then sighed. 'You remember, I expect, that I planned to disrupt your coronation by inviting frost giants into the Weapons Vault? Well, the first time around, I went through with it. Just about everything that came after flowed from that decision of mine, with ever more dire consequences.'
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