V2 Chapter 7: The Two Princes, Endless Dream and Unlimited Time

A psychiatrist asked, “What is a dream?”

The stupid one answered sarcastically, “The cruelest illusion.”

The smart one replied resignedly

The psychiatrist then asked, “What does time mean to you?”

The stupid one scoffed, “The cruelest medicine.”

The smart one murmured

The psychiatrist continued to probe, “What does life mean to you?”

The stupid one cackled, “The most difficult test.”

The smart one sighed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

While I was helping Misery building his channel, one question popped up “What the Peep is a Divine Dream?” That question soon became a topic of discussion on Misery’s channel.

To answer that question, Misery read a thirty-minute length essay while bickering back and forth with me. He pointed out the important connections of the nine spirit planes and the Divine Dream as well the great game, which the gods played to win the Great Throne. In the end, as Dr. Reality, I wrote a two-sentence poem in Titan runes, to sum up what a Divine Dream is.

Dream of a man

Toy in gods’ hand

Looking back, I could not help but realize how awesome I was, to sum up such a lengthy, complicated and divisive topic with only two sentences. Not many people can do that. That thought brought a smile to my lips, prompting me to turn my head at my own mirror image, “Don’t you think so?” I asked him.

He did not reply, lying sprawling on the dusty ground of the abyss, acting completely unconcerned of everything. The pressure of the watery abyss has flattened his body and skull into a disk shape without retaining any trace of beauty and charm of his original self. Look painful, I cringed at the work of art that was my mirror image. However, it only looked painful. In this world, in this endless Divine Dream, pain has lost to the two of us several eons ago.

“I have to thanks Death later. Thanks to her, I have a method to bring you out and have a talk with you.” I chuckled, kept talking to my mirror image still, even though he has not spoken a single word in the last twenty years since we were both trapped in this dream.

“How much longer it would take for Death to realize that she has to come down here to pick you up?” I bubbled “Ten years? Twenty? Or a hundred? Pick a number.”

Even though I told him to pick a number, he would not speak a word. That’s a fact. He only talked when he wanted to talk. If I cannot make him talk, no force in this world can make him, not even Death. The last words he has spoken were “I’m tired.” That happened twenty years ago. But, before that, he whispered a single word, “Music” as I swam the lightless ocean like a moron. Only I could hear that quiet whisper in this Divine Dream. Call it a hallucination or whatever, I would not mistake your voice for anyone else’s.

I had no idea what he meant. He said “Music” and left me hanging and guessing. He did not explain it himself and thus, I had to guess and search for the truth from his word.

I have kept on swimming while thinking about his whisper. I searched for the philosophical connection between the word “Music” with my goal, and my eternal suffering. I desperately searched for the meaning of the word “Music” while maintaining the façade of a try-hard moron to please Death. However, no matter how hard I searched for its meaning, I had nothing but a giant Nada for the answer. Then, it dawned on me that “Music” was supposed to be played. Only the biggest of moron would try to search for the philosophical meaning of the word “Music” when he heard it being mentioned. Normally, when people heard the word “Music,” they would think about singing or playing instruments. Since I had no instrument with me in this Divine Dream, I sang. I kept on singing until the truth found me.

Music is home, a place that only existed in the brightest part of my memory. Music is The Alliance. Music is Alice. Music is everything that I have lost and gained. Music is a reflection of my own emotions. But most importantly, Music is time, a bio-clock that I have been blessed with.

For the first time in my entire life, I played music with discipline as if it was a device, a piece of machinery, the way my father has always told me to do so. I sang with the exact tempo as the writers of the scores has intended for their songs to be sung. Music is no longer a reflection of my own emotion. Music is discipline and my respect to the song composers.

I had no need for a metronome to watch my tempo. We never needed it anyway, neither Phúc nor me. Up until now, we played music with impunity, letting our emotion represented ourselves and freed our inner emotion. Our tempo and chords were free birds on the sky and wild fishes in the ocean. However, to win this battle against Death, I needed Music to be a clock, precise and controlled. With discipline, music is time itself.

Death took away my sense of time with this Divine Dream that she conjured to punish me, with it, my goal and sanity. Therefore, the moment my clock started ticking again, I knew that Death has already lost this round.

“There is no way she can come back from this loss. Don’t you agree?” I asked my unresponsive mirror image. As usual, he never replied. However, that never dissuaded me from keeping on speaking for the last twenty years. He had the strength to keep on moping for the last twenty years and I had the strength to go along with him. After all, in this solitary confinement, we still had each other. As long as I had him, as long as he had me, neither of us could go insane. “I start pitying her. Of all the people she could run into, it’s the two of us that she ran into. Death truly has no luck.” I cackled. Even though my mirror image showed no sign of listening to my ramble, I knew that he did.

“She is hilarious. Don’t you think so? I asked for time and she readily gave us unlimited time without asking for anything in return. This woman has no idea how trading and business is supposed to work despite her age. She has lived for countless eons. She could have used her time to learn about business and commerce, don’t you think?” I laid flatly on the dusty surface of the lightless abyss, wrapping my arm over my other self’s shoulders. The bottom of the abyss remained unchanged despite my movement and remained still, that sight brought a pleasant smile to my lips.

“She actually gave unlimited time to the two of us, a tactician and a strategist. Funny! We can never have enough time to plan and scheme. And yet, she gave us unlimited time. This is too generous of her. How should I repay her this favor? Tell me, brother.” I tried to shake his shoulder but his body stuck to the ground, remained unmoved.

“You know? I have been thinking a lot. What makes us so important to her that she had to go out of her character to seduce us like that? Why couldn’t she just allow those motherfuckers to mutilate us into pieces and use us like good luck charms? Why did she give us such special treatment whereas she has never done that to anybody? Of course, I ask you this question knowing that the two of us are so beautiful that it is a sin. But why us? Because of that stupid prophecy? I doubt it… Say something man.” I begged. My other self replied with his awkward silence.

“I figured,” I concurred, “We are URLOX’s most beloved champion, she has said that herself. These morons seem to have a weak spot for the word Champion. Even though, that is just an empty title just like the word Prince on earth. Can a word truly elevate our status to such a degree? Common, you cannot tell me that the reason she wanted to fuck us because we have the title “Champion of URLOX” attached to us. She is the aspect of death and destruction for god sake, not a teenage girl or an affection-starved woman.” I reasoned with my other self.

Again, the silence was his reply. Silence has been his replies for the last twenty years. His commandment of language has become so great that sound has become meaningless. “Silence speaks louder than words,” as our father has once told us.

“Forget about it. Do you think that there is a chance that she is outsmarting the two of us now? What if she believed that the two of us, you and me, strategist and tactician, were not on her level and gave us this unlimited time as a handicap? What if she were that good?” I conjectured, doubting the fact that the goddess of Death was such a simple woman. “That meathead Clariciel is one thing but this woman is supposed to be the goddess of Death. She should not be this simpleminded and uncomplex.”

The more I spoke with my other self, the more I became used to the sound of silence. Darkness and silence, no matter how scary they were before, now, they were just toy monsters.

For three times, I have asked Death why she gave me such special treatment. Though, the first time, she has guessed that question before I could have asked her. “Are you surprise that I would make such an offer?” Yet, she never answered that question. She redirected our conversation and showed me that bullshit prophecy inside Naharis’ throne room instead.

Since Death redirected our conversation to an unsatisfied direction for me, I reframed it to its original course. “What is your intention by making me your champion?” I asked very frankly and honestly.

However, she replied with a joke, a harmless white lie, “What if I told you that I want that throne?” That’s not the answer I wanted to hear nor it addressed my question.

Three times the charm, I asked Death again, “My Lady, what do you gain by making me your champion?” and she replied, “Because I want you. Everything about you, your soul, your bravery, your fear, your emotions, your love, your body, and your kiss.” Technically, that’s not a lie. But, at the same time, that was not the answer that I was looking for. Death evaded giving me that answer for the third time and seduced me with her kiss, believing that she has caught me with her spells. She did all of that only to be fallen for my cheapest provocation and gave me exactly what I wanted the most, time.

My tactic to provoke Death went off so successfully that I had to doubt its nature. “There is no fucking way that this woman would be that simple. Don’t you agree with me? What if she only pretended to give us what we wanted and secretly had a strategy to use it against us later? Remember? Just like that time we defeated Heavennet together. Your strategy worked because I fed Heavennet what it wanted the most. What if this is similar to that? What if she is so fucking smart that she said Yo, the two of you are not on my level. Use some time to train yourself and get on my level scrubs… something like that?” I voiced my doubts to my other self. It was my nature to doubt everything and anything. “You know? I was kind enough to give a warning back then when Clariciel invaded my dream. And Death has confirmed to me that she has seen that part of the Divine Dream through her action and words.”

I used my free hand to pound Phúc on his flattened chest with playful rhythms and tempo. Doom Doom.

“The divine dream does not present you an absolute advantage. Sure, it allows you to fabricate the reality or invade my past. However, to a person like me, there is nothing you can do in this divine dream to seriously hurt me once I have realized what it was.” I remembered saying those lines as soon as I have discovered that Clariciel has invaded my dream without my permission.

Doom Doom.

“I have stated my warnings clearly. Is it possible that Death has mistaken that my warning back then was meant for Clariciel alone? There is no way that anyone who has seen such memory could have misunderstood that warning, right? I have spoken it with such a clear voice. There should be no misunderstanding about it. Death cannot be that ignorant, right? She is the goddess of Death after all. People grow wiser and smarter as they age, right? And she has lived for eons. That means she must be incredibly wise and smart, right? There is no way that she could have mistaken my intention when I have made such a statement, RIGHT?” I continued to drum my fist on Phúc’s chest. Doom Doom.

Twenty years have passed since my other self sunk to the very bottom of the lightless abyss. Since then, he has never made a sound no matter how much I pressed him.

“I really hope that Death is not that ignorant and uncomplex. I seriously hope that Death is not That Stupid. Otherwise, I will show her that there is nobody in the world could be more stupid than I am. It takes a lot of commitment to be stupid after all. She is going to be screwed so very badly. I’m going to make an example out of her to show people that my warning is not meant to be taken lightly. And the only person in this world who could stop that from happening is you,” I drummed my fist on my beloved brother’s chest with shorter pace and tempo. Doom Doom. Doom Doom.

“To normal people, I gave my warning only once, and twice to a beautiful woman. I have already given Death my warnings three times out of goodwill for the love and special treatment that she gave us.” I smiled.

Doom Doom. Doom Doom. Doom Doom.

“However, she ignored my warnings three times. I’m about to make her the first casualty in this war. If you have any pity for her, you should start quitting your lie right now. Your lies can deceive other people and yourself, but not me, never me. If you wanted to save her, stop pretending to be stupid and weak like this. Otherwise, after I have made Death the first casualty in this war, I will make the most stupid decision that a person could have possibly made in his entire lifetime. If you do not stop me, I will do it.”

Doom doom. Doom doom. Doom doom. Doom doom.

Phúc remained silence.

“Good talk,” I nodded my head and withdrew the arm that I have wrapped over Phúc’s shoulder. “Remember that this is your third warning as well, brother. No more warning after this, this is our rule, remember? Good talk.” I nodded my head again and left Phúc alone at the bottom of the watery abyss.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The lightless pit of the ocean that Death has conjured for me was too depressing for me to live. Thus, fifteen years ago, I have conjured a special space, a different plane of time and existence, right under Death’s nose and used it as my living quarter.

Everything existed in this space was an illusion. From my father’s house to The Alliance’s gaming room, everything was constructed from my memory and imagination. Since everything was an illusion that I conjured, and since I could conjure them effortlessly, they became the best targets for me to vent my anger and stress. With a snap of a finger, I set everything on fire, everything, from the sky to the earth. Standing amidst the red inferno, I summoned a large mallet and used to smash everything that I hated. The house, the street, the people inhibited within this special place, everything.

This dream was mine to begin with. I created this world, this space, this illusion. Thus, I was its sole god and owner. Thus, I had the right to crush it, I told myself. “If coaxing doesn’t work and sweet whispers don’t work, I’m doing it the hard way,” I screamed, finally let go of my most depressing thought.

“Seven fucking years on Earth in addition with over twenty years in this world, how much longer you can stay moping around like that?” I used the mallet within my hands to level buildings and streets, splitting people’s head and executing all manners of horrifying conducts. “I’m sorry. Okay? I got us dead. I’m sorry. I got us into this shitty world. I got us into this shitty situation.” I launched the mallet at a screaming man who was trying to run away from me. His spine doubled as his body reeled on the ground. I waved my hand and recalled my mallet, launching it at another target this time. “But you should have stopped me. You should have stopped me. You are the smart one. YOU SHOULD HAVE STOPPED ME.”

I raged and raged and raged until my head cooled down. With a snap of a finger, I rebuilt the world from scratch. I then returned to my room, but not without sending the door flying and crashing against the wall first. I was surprised at myself that I still had some leftover energy to keep my rage going. Only when I sunk my face into the soft and thick fabric of my king-size bed, I could finally let go of my rage for real. I sighed.

In a way, by giving me unlimited time, Death punished me and made me suffer from having too much time. Time is only meaningful and precious when you feel like you can never have enough of it. However, when I had too much time with me, my drives were confused and all I could feel were boredom and rage.

It was the boredom of being forced to play a game that I have already beaten repeatedly, over and over again. It was the boredom of becoming the god of my dream. The kind of boredom, which came from the fact that I have possessed the ability to conjure and destroy everything that I desired, made my life miserable. With a snap of a finger, I could destroy everything. With a snap of a finger, I could create everything.

What is the point of living such a life?

Watching the people of my imaginary world going to war against each other provided cheap entertainment to liberate me from my boredom for a while. Watching them killed each other, backstabbed each other, loved each other, and lived their lives to their fullest made me understood what Naharis must have gone through while he was sitting on the Great Throne.

Then out of a moment of weakness and sheer stupidity, I snapped my fingers to bring back Thùy Dương, Mrs. Hạ Đông, my adopted parents and my mother. I snapped my fingers again to bring Alice, my dad, and The Alliance into my dream. Then, it took me a week to realize that I was actually disgusted with such stupidity. Never before had I abhorred my own existence like that. Never before had I felt such rage. With a snap of a finger, I ended everything. My hatred for my own weakness and stupidity only deepened. I snapped the most beautiful people that I have ever loved out of their existence. And I watched it happened.

I hate you Death for granting me so much time and power.

After I have beaten Death at her own game, I wished that I could turn back the clock and retook the challenge again, forever, without realizing that I could possibly beat it. My life was more wholesome at that time.

At the time I was still swimming on her ocean like a moron, I had a well-defined goal, To make this Divine Dream mine. That was my goal. I had to learn how to do it while maintaining the façade of a moron. I had to learn how to do that while acting like I was losing my sanity to Death and suffered her punishment. The difficulty in doing that did not have anything to do with the fact that I was multi-tasking. I was telling myself a lie, trying to fool myself that I was going insane while trying to keep my sanity intact for the goal. How can a person be sane and insane at the same time? Those two tasks were a contradiction. I said “Yolo” and tried to do with nothing but determination. In the end, had it not for that single whisper, I would have lost the battle.

The fact that Phúc can say that magic word at the right time to save me from losing, it’s only reinforcing my biggest speculation. He has not become stupid and weak. He has not entirely shut himself out. He’s only pretending to. That thought alone gave me the biggest source of motivation to do everything. That thought alone gave me a small ray of hope worthy of living for.

Death could have never realized how close she was to beat me because I would never tell her. I made a comeback in the last minute thanks to a quiet whisper. A person suddenly gains a spurt of strength in the brink of defeat thanks to a person’s cheering. Sometimes, anime logic and movie logic, they applied, I could not help but laugh at how absurd it was.

I turned my head around and watched the four ticking digital clocks hanging on the wall. Two of them synched, moving at the same time and pace, twenty years and still counting. The other two, one fast, just barely over an hour. The other one extremely slow, fifty years and still counting. Among the four clocks, one represented my time. One represented Death’s time. One represented Phúc’s time. The last one represented the time of all the morons who came into my dream while waiting for Death to finish convincing me. Four different time-flows existed in a single dream.

“Dream of a man, toy in gods’ hand,” I sighed, “Have any of you morons ever thought that our dreams are ours, not yours. You can play with it like a toy. You can twist it, dirty it, deform it, cheapen it and taint it, but in the end, our dream is ours, not yours. It appears that none of you has ever thought about that. Hilarious! Fucking hilarious! This is the gold standard of cheap comedy,” I laughed hollowly while watching the four clocks.

Death has given me so much time that I have learned to wrestle the control of this Divine Dream out of her hand without her knowing. I hollered hollowly, wondering if anyone, other than Phúc and I, have realized the true reason why I sat down and took a beating back then when Clariciel invaded my dream. Clariciel provided an important chance for me to experiment with my theories and knowledge of the lore of ROC. The longer she dragged out her beating, the more the time I had to experiment with a divine constructed dream. The fact that Clariciel actually went along with my antics proved that she was a meathead.

As I watched the image of Death sitting in her garden watching Phúc laid sprawling at the bottom of the ocean, I chuckled, “Hilarious!” I then turned my sight on a room with an enormous round table and over fifty people inside it. “Hilarious! Comedy has never become so cheap.”

Divine Dream

Dream of a man

Toy in gods’ hand

Divine Dream

Toy in gods’ hand

Return to make gods

Toys in a man’s hand.

“Misery, you might want to add this to that video,” I whispered. “Come Death. Pick him up so I can crush you and your kinds.” I have grown bored of waiting. I’m dying in the black hole of my boredom. “I have killed Bloodbeard in such cruel fashion to warn you all. And yet, you morons take that warning lightly. GOOD. Have it your way. Hurry Death. Pick him up so I can curb-stomp you all.”