As I watch Fenna drift to sleep, my mind tumbles through so many possibilities for the mass spawn. All are bad. If my experience with other pirates in this world is any indication, this cluster of islands is about to be crawling with competition.

I run my fingers along the edge of Fenna's hair, careful not to disturb her slumber, then stand up quietly, scanning the stars for any more aberrations. After the initial barrage, I haven't seen any other new travelers yet, but now every few minutes or so, I look to the sky with trepidation.

Creeping over to the bow, I check the cove as well. The water shimmers, lapping tiny waves against a beach that is still clear of skeletons. Everything is calm, I tell myself. You are safe. For now.

If it weren't for the monsters, the hunger, the drowning, the getting shot and killed—all that nasty stuff—this place would be a paradise.

An eerie scratching noise draws my attention. I find my favorite and only monkey friend scratching lewd stick-figure drawings into one of the railing posts on the other side of the ship. I walk over to him. He doesn't even stop what he's doing. In fact, he shows me, grinning widely with his oversized teeth.

"Rufus, I need your help with something."

Rufus shakes his head at me and tries to shoo me away.

"Look. You're going to hang out on my ship, eat my food, do whatever else you do… You can at least listen to what it is, okay?"

Rufus stops his drawing, turns, and holds out an open hand, palm up.

"You already have access to all the food. It's in the barrels. I don't have any more, Roof."

The monkey points to his empty hand, reinforcing his gesture with a squeal. Greedy bastard. Maybe he can talk, and he just doesn't because it's easier to extort people when they can't reason with you.

I pull some gold from my ephemeral pouch, loot from our skeleton hunting from earlier, and drop three coins in his hand. Rufus grunts in temporary approval of our deal.

"So, if I die, there's no more food, right?" I say. "Well, I don't know what's going on with these new spawns, but it could be dangerous for us. Any other ships come snooping into this cove when I'm sleeping, you wake me up. If I'm not here, you ring the ship's bell for ten seconds."

Rufus shrugs and places the coins in his hip pocket. Then he trots over to me and hugs my leg, rubbing my calf muscle as if patting me on the back.

"Thanks, bud. Good talk." Rufus lets go of me, preparing to scamper away. "Hey, remember. Ten whole seconds in case we’re far off," I call after him. "Oh, and thanks for drawing me with a big dick."

Rufus lets out a plubber, flapping his lips in a long exhale and tossing his hand to the side, the monkey equivalent of a New Yorker saying fuhgeddaboudit. He skips to the mast, and I watch him climb to the crow's nest, surprised to see Rufus casting glances at the cove’s entrance as he sets his knife back to carving work.

#

"If we leave the safety of the cove, our ship is going to be easily seen by anyone out there," Fenna says, bending over to wring the water out of her after our quick swim from our ship to land. Her clothes stick to her body, the moisture making the fabric transparent in places where it clings.

I almost can't believe last night actually happened.

"So, your orders are to stay here, cap'n?"

I try not to stare too hard or blush. Then again, as her captain, maybe it's my right to stare? “Yes, those are my orders.”

"May as well," Fenna says, straightening up. "It's a big island and a deadly one. On a normal island, you find treasure, equipment, quests even. But a place as dangerous as Death's Clutches? As long as we stay close enough to the ship for a quick getaway, I think it's safe to at least have a quick look around."

She's right. We need the experience, and we need the loot. I'm pathetic. As far as actual pirating goes, I have very little to show for my effort so far beyond being a playbook on what not to do.

"Okay, then," Fenna pops up, smiling. "This way, cap'n." She trots across the beach. "Looks to me like there are some structures hidden in the trees on that hill."

Under the warm morning sun, Death's Clutches visually isn't so different from any other island. But it has an odd aura to it, a lack of vitality even though the island is lush and green, dense with all kinds of vegetation.

I'm a big fan of trusting your instincts regarding the old sixth sense. And now that I know someone upstairs is pulling our strings, even more so.

For example, that tree fern there is big and poofy, but its fronds look like anime villain hair from the back. And who would have guessed, but two level 1 skeletons stagger out from behind the thing. So both those things have got to be connected.

"Care to pull out that big sword of yours, cap'n?" Fenna licks her lips, pointing to my waist.

"Huh? —Oh."

I draw my blade and move to attack, finding that my strikes sometimes knock the skellies back, giving me more time to recover and stay away from their scratching fingers. For once, I end a fight without taking any damage.

Your Swashbuckling ability has improved to novice level!

Not only that, but they drop three coins and a head of lettuce.

So, I don't pretend to understand how a naked skeleton carries coins or lettuce, but as the bones tumble to the ground, out pops money and produce like it's the most routine and sensible thing that can happen under the circumstances.

That's how loot drops in this world, and I'm fine with it. Although carrying stuff took some time to get used to. There's this pocketing motion you do. Like right now, I just take the lettuce and sort of put it down by my hip as if I had a grocery-bag-sized pocket and drop it in. The lettuce just disappears from view, and I can see it in my mind's eye in my inventory now.

The first time you pocket something, you feel like it's going to hit the ground and get all dirty, and you'll have to pick it up again. But after a few tries, the motion becomes second nature.

Man, if I ever go back to a regular world, I’m going to crack my cell phone screen so many times. It's going to suck.

We move further inland, where the trees huddle with the brush into clumps, forcing our path into winding turns. A few more low-level skeletons block our way, but we take care of them quickly, with Fenna unexpectedly bursting with energy to level 2 on an easy kill.

Fenna has gained a level! New advancements are available. Do you wish to advance her now?

You have chosen yes.

Choose an advancement area for Fenna:

* Point Blank Shot - Increase damage when using a long-range weapon at point-blank range.

* Advanced Picnicking - Make the most amazing outdoor dining and relaxation experiences.

* Don't Die On Me Again - Increase maximum health.

Well, isn't this an exciting trio of options? I hold them in my mind, half watching my step, half examining the possibilities as we trudge along.

The damage boost and health boost options are straightforward, but this picnicking thing has got my brain thrown in a loop. How is this even on the same level of usefulness as the other two advancements? Is picnicking even something pirates do?

Actually, pirates are constantly picnicking, now that I think about it. Just about every time you land on an island or somewhere without a table, you're basically making a picnic.

More than picnics, though, I need to survive, and I need Fenna to live, too. Usually, the best way to survive is to win the fight first, and I'd take the damage boost, but if Fenna can get one-shot by a level 3 with a blunderbuss, she needs a boost to her base health too.

Fuck, this is a far tougher decision than I expected.