https://youtu.be/ysSxxIqKNN0

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Was I ever truly human?

Even if I asked myself these questions, i can hardly answer them myself, with my mind in the state it is.

The stench of blood, and the rotten smell of corpses. Somehow, they seemed natural to me.

I could make out the face of each and every man i had killed, and I started listing them off in my mind.

one, one, one, one,

I repeated one more than a thousand times.

one, two, two, two,

two was repeated nearly as much.

three, three, three...

i sat on a tree stump, alone with the dead. and i truly was alone, since Azariah had gone off somewhere.

the sun started rising, and i could finally make out the full picture of my slaughter.

I finally started on the fours, and looked over the consequence of my actions. dead, dead, and more dead. some were missing limbs, and others were indistinguishable as human. The kind of being that could do this, and feel no regrets...

That kind of thing would well and truly be a monster. Guess I failed my own test.

A monster, huh?

i stood up, and made my way to Xerxes corpse, where the feast began.

His flesh tasted like ash in my mouth. I killed him, I killed his men, i even wiped out every part of his pride. And i had nothing to remember him with.

in between bites, i continued the numbers, which had long since gone into the fives.

when i had finished my meal, i stood up. my fingers fluttered to my face, and felt the mirror scars on my face, starting at the bridge of my nose, the scars extended back to my ears. perhaps, this will be enough.

i turned, and set my feet wide apart, as i began muttering six, over and over. This absurd counting continued for hours, but finally it came to a stop.

7634 numbers where recited in all. My legacy. A bunch of rotting corpses, with nothing but numbers to differentiate.

truly, a sad fate for any being. but self-pity could wait for a day when the world was Jordan's. until that day came, i was living in a body i had not earned.

with such thoughts in mind, i quickly set off. i was three days away from the capital, and i needed to hurry if this plan of world domination would come to fruition.

Afterall, I only have ten years.

---

Azariah is really taking his/her time... wonder what's got her/him so interested.

i was not worried, as i was the only one who could see him/her, but it felt kind of lonely without her/him.

though, it was a kinda nice, not having to try and figure out what he/she meant, like just before she left she said something like 'sticking it in the'-

I heard screams.

My instincts took control, and i broke into a sprint. covering a hundred meters took me about six seconds, within thirty I had arrived at the scene of the incident.

to sum it up, highway robbery.

six dirty looking men were currently attempting to rob a wagon, which was being driven by four people. once i saw the situation, i calmed down and walked normally. the six robbers had taken the four people hostage, and tied them up, while proceeding to loot everything they could. as i walked by, the robbers looked at me, but when i showed no sign of stopping to help the four people, they stopped being defensive. they eyed me, but when it was obvious i had nothing more than the pelt around my waste, and since the distance was too much for them to see my earring, they saw no purpose in robbing me too.

i couldn't blame the robbers, after all. they had probably fallen on hard times. besides,

I had committed enough crimes to warrant execution a hundred times over. something as trivial as 'robbery' barely constituted as a punishable crime.

so, that's it. i'm going to pass by, and do nothing.

yOu aRe juSt Afraid oF adDing moRe nuMberS.

heh, it is to be expected, my own mind knowing my intentions. still, it left a bitter taste in my mouth. maybe I could...

no! i will not get involved.

but, is it not the right thing to do?

do i even deserve to decide if something is 'right'?

i heard the robbers muttering, and i realized i had frozen on the spot. then, one of them called out to me.

"hey! you with the weird tattoos! If you help us hold the girl down, we'll give you a turn!"

wait.

"heh, your being too generous! but, i agree that having one more would make things easier."

stop.

"so, how about it, stranger? you don't get this chance everyday!"

i stood still, not moving a muscle. did i hear them right...?

"oi! aren't you going to say something? or do you not speak common?"

I turned slowly, and approached the men. they all smiled, and started making lewd gestures and sounds. from one of the tied up people, i could hear screams, while from the other three i heard angry grunts. so, one female among them?

then men started untied all of the girls bindings except for the ones around her wrists and ankles, while also leaving the gag. it was clear they had experience with this.

"ha ha! hey, i get the first turn, i captured her!"

"you only got her because you got in my way!"

i heard their arguing, but it felt like it was from far away. slowly, i took a few steps closer. the men started undoing belts, and laughing at the increase in screams from the girl on the ground. another step let me make out her features, her eyes full of tears and her body visibly shaking from fear.

The men descended, and started ripping away cloth-

"So, it has come to this."

the men stopped what they were doing, and looked at the strange man behind them.

"Human life comes cheap, doesn't it?" i monologued, while crushing one of the sixes skull with my fist.

silence. oh, that beautiful silence that announced death. i am broken. oh so broken...

i kicked off another's head, while the other four tried to wrap their minds around the fact that a man was killing them.

"Not as cheap as my soul, however." If it was for something like this, i did not mind sacrificing a tiny bit of my morals. though i had to ask myself what morals i had to begin with.

one of the remaining four who was quicker than the others quickly stood up, and retrieved the wooden cudgel he kept tied to his belt. a swing came at me, and i swayed my body, making him fall off balance.

he looked into my eyes, and asked for mercy.

while your life is cheap, mercy comes with a heavy price.

one i am not willing to pay.

my hand whistled through the air, and the head of the robber separated from his body, just like that.

by this time, the other three had regained their composure, or a semblance of it, and took swings at me. they were painfully slow, and avoiding them was easy. i then grabbed the head of one, and smashed it into the polished stone of the road. the second was only able to let out a scream before i slammed my hand into his throat, and ripped out his esophagus, leaving him to suffocate.

the final man stumbled back, and tried to plead with me.

"p-please! i'll give you anything you want! just leave me alone!"

i approached slowly, relishing that look of absolute terror. "anything? i do not believe you can give me what i want." I replied, while continuing to advance on him.

"why are you doing this!?"

i stopped.

"why?"

i appeared a couple feet behind the man, holding his head attached to his spine in one hand.

"because i have a line."

i dropped the decapitated head, and the mans body fell.

"you crossed it, so deal with the consequences."

i am broken. and before i leave this world, i will destroy as many other broken men as i can.

it is my only way to offer atonement for what i have done.

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"so..."

I looked over at the recently rescued trader, and wondered what the man wanted to say.

after I had untied the four of them and assured them that i had nothing to do with the robbers, the woman offered me a ride in her wagon, which was carrying the recently reclaimed goods.

"what is it?"

He looked intimidated by me, which was to be expected. I had, after all, killed six men before his eyes.

"are you a priest, or something?"

i thought for a moment, and replied. "I guess you could say that, why do you ask?'

"oh, it's just that your tattoos are strange. i've tried to find where they start, but whenever my eyes start tracing a path, I get lost..."

I myself had noticed this effect. Even after having them for a month, i could still not begin to fathom their use.

However, i brought my mind to the present, as the girl was talking.

"So fred, you've been looking at his body for a while, huh? I guess i can understand, I also enjoy looking at a well-built man."

'fred' got very red in the face, and started sputtering, but his denials only met with laughter from his companions. It looked like they had a very comfortable relationship. The girl was talking again.

"So, you say you're a priest, or something like that?" I nodded my affirmative. "then, did you take any vows of chastity, by any chance?"

I wondered where she was getting at, but decided now was a good time, if any, to preach. "no, I have not taken such a vow, there is only one real doctrine, and the rules of my god are non existent. I am one of under a dozen who know of this god, but I am hoping to change that."

When they heard this, i sensed a slight change in the atmosphere.

one of the other men, I think the girl had called him jeff, made a barely heard comment. "another one of those, huh..."

I looked at them questioningly, and the girl decided to explain. "We're just used to dealing with priests that can preach at you day and night, if you let them. there's a saying in the capital, "if you don't think your soul is pure enough, you can go a block in any direction and find another church." and even though this is not the literal fact, it has become quite close."

"I see... then it seems i will have to work harder."

The girl seemed to think of something. "so, you said your religion had only one doctrine, right? I'm not looking to convert, but I am interested. The way you killed those men..."

"ah, i see. well, since my god is not very interested in having people worship him, I decided to incorporate his actions and my feelings into this doctrine. simply, if you are alone, Jordan will help you."

"Jordan is this guy's name, right? He seems like a nice guy, though i've never heard of him."

"yes, that makes since. he is, without a doubt, the weakest of the gods."

she eyed me, and seemed to be remembering my actions, and simply shook her head. "...weakest god my ass, if the priest can kill six guys like it's nothing, what kind of monster must the god be...?"

i hid a grin, and stayed silent for the rest of the ride. after a couple hours, the city gates came into view.

magnificent. the only word that did the gates proud.

the doors alone were ten feet tall, while the battlements over the gate were something like thirty feet. i could not think how they would be able to surround such a huge city with such a high wall except with magic. that, or a lot of slaves and time.

as we approached, a line extended out from the gates. it appears that there is some kind of 'checkpoint' which people who wish to enter must first proceed through. when it was our turn, the guard looked over some papers the girl gave him, then waved us through after a brief check through the goods. followed by the usual "don't cause any trouble, else you'll deal with me" phrase that seemed to be said at least a hundred times a day.

as we entered the streets, the smell first hit you. from the side we entered, the merchant quarter, the most dominating smell was incense and perfume, underlied by the smell of food. all together, it was quite pleasant. the smell from the slum quarter was, however, not very pleasing.

next, the sights. the buildings towered over the streets, making it near impossible to say what time it was from the position of the sun. some of the buildings were decorated with rugs hung on the walls, while others were nothing more than boards of wood. next, the people seemed to be replicating an aggravated anthill, stopping just before actually crawling on top of each other.

after a few minutes, we reached a main square where i had asked about in advance. this place would allow me to gather information, and-

"you there! the cat demi-human!"

I stopped, and looked around. what i saw was a single soldier, who was rushing toward me. he puffed, for a little, obviously not used to running, and stood up straight while observing an arrogant stance. "and who might you be!"

I looked at him, and decided to tell the truth. "My name is shadowpelt, nice to meet you."

he stepped forward, and slapped me.

for a second, i was shocked. he was too weak to make his slap hurt even though he wore a steel gauntlet, but the shock made me take a second to understand the situation. while i was wondering what in the world happened, he said in his pompous voice of his, "you will address me as sir! i cannot have a barbarian like you trod upon the honor of the noble city watch! you will be arrested, as only citizens are allowed to be demi-humans."

this guys logic is seriously skewed...

"fine, how do I become a citizen...sir?"

he seemed to be an inch from striking me again, but instead exploded with an angry torrent of words. "a fucking demi-human bastard like you will never be a citizen! shut your whoring ancestor's mouth and remain silent!"

This guy is getting on my nerves...

"Then why are you arresting me?"

he fumed, apparently unable to come up with anything, but simply grabbed my arm. when I refused to move, he pulled out his sword and swung it at my neck.

To hesitate is to die.

In a flash, the pompous watchmen's head was rolling on the cobbled street, his own sword having done the deed. even in death, that sneer of self-righteousness still remained. The world will be better without him.

hearing the confrontation, a circle had formed around us. when people in the back, who caught a glimpse of a demi-human beheading a watchmen, started screaming. then, i heard the tromping of heavy boots and armored Knights appeared from seemingly nowhere. behind them, stood a man who appeared around the age of forty, dressed in magnificent red robes. standing behind and a little to his right, was a young man who whore black clothes.

as the square filled with screams, the twenty or so armored knights advanced, only stopping at the red robed mans command. I took this time given me to size up my opponents, and noticed something very important.

If i was not very, very careful, I was going to die here.

without a word, the middle aged man waved his hands, and large balls of fire exploded into being in front of him. i summoned a wall of water, and froze it just in time to intercept his fireballs, only to have my shield explode into splinters.

looks like I cannot let down my guard...

I dodged the fireballs, and summoned an earth spike which flew toward the fire mage. however, i did not see his follow up, as the twenty or so knights took this chance to attack me.

If I were to compare these knights with the warriors I had met so far in this world, the knights would undoubtedly be gold, while the other warriors were dirt. I seemed to be in over my head, as it were.

not only was their skill on a completely different level, their equipment alone would set an unreachable gulf. No matter how many times i lashed out with my claws, the best i did to the knights armor was scratch the paint. fireballs also started to rain down, and even though i saw a couple knights be hit directly, their armor must have a huge amount of fire resistance. Seeing as their was no other way, I flicked my earring.

It would really be nice if Azariah were here...

Black Moon formed in my hand, and I felt the knights momentarily back off.

The shadows beckon.

I call out to them.

The shadow answers.

I took my right index finger, and drew it along the blade of the sword. Then, I stepped forward and cleaved a knight in half. The other knights were so surprised, it was almost comical. Just a second ago, I couldn't make a dent, and suddenly I was able to bypass all of their defense.

What made them fear even more was the black crescent released that cut another six knights like wheat. When the red wizard saw what I'd done, he started making complex motions with his hand. i tried to fire an air bullet at him, but suddenly i could not move.

I looked at the red wizard, and saw something that sent chills down my spine.

There, in front of me, was Azariah. she/he was tied down with what looked like blue cord, and looked to be in pain.

Anger

They took my sword.

Hate

"Prepare yourselves, mortals. Prepare to die.

Death

I howled, and broke whatever restriction held me down, forcing off the invisible chains. Then, I ran as fast as i could toward Azariah.

however, all was not as I hoped.

from the sky, a meteor was falling, lava and flame spouting out of it. Even in this situation, my mind reacted calmly.

That meteor is too big. even if I used all of my magic, I was not likely to stop it. And, the other thing was Azariah. While I might be able to get out of the area of effect, he/she was chained to the earth.

Even from here, I could faintly hear Azariah telling me to run. to escape. To leave her behind.

Like hell I will!

I summoned my magic, and poured it all into a box of ice, so compressed it was enough to instantly cause frostbite. Then, I placed this box over Azariah.

The meteor hit.

And for a few seconds, all the universe ceased to matter to me. All that mattered,

Was Azariah.

Heat. Pain. Agony. Suffering. Having your skin burned to a crisp only to melt off, which in turn ignited your fat, making me able to smell the searing smell of my own flesh.

Is it strange that smell made me hungry?

blinding light, and losing all feeling in my body except for extreme pain.

...

...

everlasting, the pain lasted.

...

...

when will it stop?

...

...

light. light that didn't scorch the fat from my bone. I slowly opened my eyes, then snapped them open.

Azariah!

I stood up, and looked around. Even though it looked like i was the worst off, even the knights had taken a beating from the meteor, falling to the ground, and only now getting up. I looked at the ice block, and to my intense fear, i could see holes. but, luckily, it seemed Azariah was still alive. Now, I had business to take care of.

The knights were on the ground, and it looked like it would still take a precious second for them to regain their feet. I ran, rather, I sprinted toward the red wizard. He stood, looking worn out, from both summoning the meteor, and defending himself from it. Perfect.

I reached him before he had the chance to make a spell, and since I had dropped black moon somewhere I was able to enjoy ripping into the wizard with my own hands.

simply, delightful.

I crouched down, and used my teeth to tear meat from the wizards bones while he still lived, and I knew he must be terrified, as well as in pain. Good.

after I had finished my quick meal, i turned toward the knights, now smiling.

Even without my sword, I was sure I would be able to figure something out now that the wizard was out of the way.

Fatal Mistake.

*bam*

I felt a loud thump on the back of my neck, and turned to look at the youth clothed in black. he was holding a steel mace, covered in something red.

wha...?

I felt my limbs refuse to move, and i fell to the ground. then, the thirteen remaining knights came over, and started thrusting their blades into my body.

over

and over

and over

and over

again.

I should be unconscious from the pain. I should be dead from blood loss. but I still somehow lived!

*thrust in, pull out*

this was repeated, and since the knights didn't aim for anything vital, I stayed alive.

In

out

in

out

in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out

Like pistons.

pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain

after feeling so much pain, do I even understand what that word means anymore?

in out pain in out pain in out pain.

one two three four five six seven eight

in out in out in out pain pain pain pain

But, even though I felt nothing but agony, my final thought was for my sword.

At least Azariah is alright.

Then my heart stopped beating, and this world ceased to have meaning for me.