《The God Effect》Chapter 9: Is This Not A Calamity?

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And so, my lessons continued. Through various lessons of passionate discussions with Mr.Hoovencloff, pranking tutoring with the Moignon twins, tea-drinking with Ms.Haqin, quiet reading time with Mr.Sormude and groping avoidance with Ms.Esqor, I gradually advanced to extremely high levels of training, to the point where I basically didn't need to have any more lessons.

But we continued them, because it was basically just free babysitting, and eventually, my little brother started taking lessons, too.

By the age of twelve, these were my stats.

STATS

NAME: Yunano Alveria Silvertongue

Age: 12 (?)

Level: High - Expert (?)

Titles: 《The Miracle Child》《Genius Baby》《The Creator》《Princess Charming》《Boob Maniac》《Maximum Learner》《Bondage Beast》《Cheat Existence》《Bender of Wills》《Genius Cultivator》《Natural Pervert》《Godly Prodigy》《X-Ray Eyes》(?)

Skills:

《Dazzling Smile: When a smile is directed towards someone out of spite or sarcasm, they are charmed. This has effects even when inactive, as user can make others more susceptible to charm due to natural Charming Miasma. User can control how much of an effect they have on the recievers, and can control what type of effect they have as well. Current level: 7》

《Genius Brain: When introduced to new information, user of this skill withholds all information, if they are exposed to, or think about such information for more than five milliseconds. This effect cannot be nullified by any means. Current level: 8》

《Utter Perfection: Body of user is refined to utmost perfection through cultivation and training. Perfection is defined by beauty, grace and wit. This skill makes it easier for user to cultivate and train with high precision. Current level: 4》

《Godspeed: This skill allows the user to think at forty times the average speed of a regular brain. Current level: 5》

《Wall-Breaker: This skill allows the user to break the fourth wall and interact with the author and manipulate narration to how they see fit. Strengthening of this skill is needed to interact in depth with author and narration. Current level: 3》

《Ropeplay: In instances where rope is used to bond, trap, restrict or catch a target, the user’s accuracy is boosted by 1200% and has a 40% chance of creating a sexual situation. (With each level increase, the user’s accuracy boost is increased by 600% and sexual situation increases by 10%) Current level: 2》

《Magical Specialty: When user uses magic to attack, attack’s accuracy is boosted by 200%. Current Level: 2》

《Beast Nature: User’s natural charm when interacting with creatures with ‘Beast’ nature has calming effect, naturally causing creatures to love the user. Current level: 3》

《Do Not Disturb: When user is sleeping or in rest, they will be impenetrable to any and all attacks of ill intent. Furthermore, any attackers will be hit with a wave of exhaustion, and will fall unconscious until user wills them awake. Current Level: MAX》

(?)

Abilities:

Charisma: 1001(?)

Wisdom: 526 (?)

Strength: 800 (?)

Agility: 743 (?)

Sight: 548 (?)

Smell: 492 (?)

Hearing: 1043 (?)

Sense: 860 (?)

Affinities:

Water, Air, Fire, Earth, Lightning, Light, Darkness, Mind, Space, Soul (LOCKED), (?)

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Haha, I’m really cheat-y, huh?

The, uh… 《Ropeplay» skill is… Well, let's just say I actively avoid using rope to attack.

Hm.

Here are the new Titles I had gained in the time…

《Bondage Beast: This Title allows the user to turn any scenario into one where bondage is utilised, to the user’s advantage. It is controllable, but who would want to NOT have a situation with bondage?》

I’m pretty sure MOST PEOPLE don't want bondage in most situations. It's not exactly convenient, you know!

This Title… Uh, I somehow managed to gain it through ACCIDENTALLY binding people in multiple scenarios, where I seriously didn't mean to.

Those people include, but are not limited to, Ms.Esqor, Papa, Ms.Haqin, Mama, Lisette, and multiple bandits in multiple different situations.

I'm pretty sure I've gained a name throughout the bandit community, and I'm pretty sure it's the reason my family no longer gets attacked by bandits.

《Cheat Existence: This Title allows the user to bend the rules of this universe to their will. It strengthens as the user does.》

This one is kind of weird, but convenient. Really convenient.

Basically, sometimes when I'm feeling really lazy, or am in a tight situation in terms of battle, the ground will move and swap places. Essentially, this universe can flip-flop a little if I think reaaaaaaaaally hard. But it's kind of a lot of effort, so I don't really do it, because it's a waste of time.

Like, why spend ten minutes thinking about getting the sandwich from the kitchen to pop up in my lap, when I can just walk there in one minute?

But, if I'm about to die, essentially the universe will yell “PLOT ARMOUR” and save me! How conventient is that?

《Bender of Wills: This Title allows the user’s words or actions to bend the wills of others really easily. User can convince other people of anything, as long as it isn’t outrageous. This works particularly well against gullible and unintelligent people.》

It’s basically ‘persuasion’, but a bit boosted.

《Genius Cultivator: This Title allows the user to cultivate at 10000% the speed of regular cultivation. You’re a cheat. We get it.》

I'm a cheat. I get it.

《Natural Pervert: This Title is gained through having constant and consistent perverted thoughts over a long period of time. Seriously, are you ever going to stop obsessing over breasts and asses, you weirdo? No boosts.》

No! The female form is justice, you asshole! I'll obsess over them until the day I die! And what's with this ‘No boosts.’??! At least with 《Boob Maniac》 you had the bloody courtesy to give me a decent boost!

Screw you!

《Godly Prodigy: This Title UNLOCKS the road to Godhood learning. You can now access others’ Stats.》

Basically, I can become a God!

How unexpected!

If this was a series titled ‘The God Effect’ I would be thoroughly surprised at a development such as this!

Really!

《X-Ray Eyes: This title is gained through learning and percieving to a transcended extent. This Title allows the user see the makeup of everything around them down to the molecular level! Have fun having existential crises! [This is a Godhood Title] 》

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Hey, I have already had enough existential crises that they're no longer ‘existential crises’ and more like just ‘existential’.

It’s totally lost the novelty by now.

That's what happens when you die and get reborn into a body of a literal infant.

This Title is weird, because, yeah, I can see through clothes, but I can see through skin, and muscles, and bone. It's like having a super-super-zoom lens on my eyeballs, but having it reeeeaaally wideshot. So I can see every molecule in a person's body all at once.

I guess… It's like being an ultimate peeping tom? Peeping so hard you see their molecules?

I don't know, haha, I'm not too into pervert ethics, haha.

Basically… My Stats were SUPER OP.

I analysed Mama’s Stats, and when her box popped up, she had three titles, four skills, and most of her abilities ranged at the 150-200 range.

So, yeah. When compared to a leading cultivator of the world, Mama, I was like an impenetrable wall, I guess. Especially when it came to a fight, though I had never partaken in one seriously.

Most of my combating had been with Esqor, and even then, it was limited. I preferred to stay at home, holed up in the library, where I could just read and get lost in information, absorbing it like water to a dry sponge.

I had only gone out to markets and whatnot a few times, never really wanting to go, and only being forced.

Socialising wasn't something that I particularly liked to do.

It was tiring and a minor waste of my time, using up precious seconds when I could be learning or cultivating.

So I stayed indoors, away from society that blundered about with ‘who said what’ and ‘who did when’, gossiping like birds on a telephone wire.

Ithril played around with others, though, so word of me existing had entered the mouthes of gossips.

Who knew that my brother's words of “My sister Yunano is amazing, pretty, smart AND powerful!” Could transform into “Yunano is the ugliest toad to ever exist, with warts all over her face, two lazy eyes, weak limbs, the IQ of a cockroach, and the weakest summon to ever be brought about! Really a disappointment to the Silvertongue name!” Through the game of chinese whispers that the nobles seemed to love to play.

When I turned twelve, Mama and Papa had brought my brother, who was now ten, and myself to the office, where we sat in front of the desk.

Light streamed in through the huge paned window, and a soft breeze rustled the outside environment. Mama and Papa’s silhouettes were engulfed by the light, making them shadows.

An irrepressable air of seriousness fell on us, and the silence was almost suffocating. I frowned slightly as Mama and Papa’s faces fell into glum expressions, and I knew that we were not about to be told that we were going on a surprise holiday.

I brushed my teeth over my lower lip in concern, then sighed, “Mama, Papa, what did you call us here to talk about?”

Papa clasped Mama’s hand in his, and squeezed reassuringly as they looked sadly down at us.

Mama opened her mouth, then closed it again.

She sighed, then stared directly into my eyes, “Yunano, you already know that the strains within our clan have been getting worse over the years,” I nodded my head once, and Mama continued, “Well… It seems that it has come to the worst scenario…”

Her face fell as she clenched her jaw, eliciting a squeeze to her hand from Papa.

Mama was silent for a moment, before Ithril spoke up, “Mama… Are we going to have to leave?”

I sighed. Ithril had become very intelligent, both from being around me, and from private tutoring from the magicians, so he would naturally understand that eventually our clan would find a way to expel us from their realm.

Even though Mama and Papa were the Duke and Duchess of the Silvertongue family, the smaller branches weren't as lively and good-hearted as our branch was. Papa’s cousins and uncles were sour that he had managed to inherit the title of Head of the Silvertongue family, and believed that he should be denounced.

Mama nodded her head, and sighed, a choked sound escaping her, “We… We're being stripped of our pride. They have!...”

Mama’s hand pulled from Papa's and clenched into a shaking fist, slamming loudly against the wood desk.

I furrowed my brows. Oh dear. Getting expelled is one thing, but Mama wouldn't be so angry at that! Something else has happened.

Mama snapped her head up, and a helpess expression crossed her face, “They… They framed us for attempted assassination of the King,”

My jaw dropped.

What??!

Are you fucking kidding me?!!

Mama and Papa were besties with the King and Queen of Turranté!

Those scheming little-!

I halted my thoughts, as a glittering droplet fell from Mama's eye.

I shot up and hugged her, enveloping her form in my pre-pubescent arms.

“It’s okay, Mama. We are going to be okay. As long as we have each other, we’ll be okay, right?”

Mama wrapped her arms around me warmly, and soon enough Papa and Ithril joined the hug. Mama's tears wet my clothes, but I didn't care as she said, “Y-...Yunano, you're right. Completely right,”

Once we pulled away, Mama roughly rubbed the tears from her eyes and put on a determined face!

“As long as we, as a family, stay together, everything will be fine!”

Papa and Ithril smiled warmly, but I couldn't bring myself to smile as they did, and only let out a light version.

An itching nagged at the bottom of my stomach, and I couldn't help to feel that something was about to go horribly, horribly wrong.

How right I was.

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