《The God Effect》Chapter 8: Thank God Mama Isn't The Designated Driver
Advertisement
Um???
What???
The fuck??
Did this woman seriously just tackle me, a five-year-old, to unconsciousness???!
Is this lady crazy or just dumb???
I came to a little while afterwards, slowly cracking my eyes open, my ears only just registering the sounds of hushed argument. I rolled my eyes over to see Mr.Sormude and Ms.Esquor arguing with eachother in a whispered fashion.
Esquor’s face was a bit flushed, and Mr. Sormude looked utterly unimpressed with her lack of self-restraint and, quite honestly, inappropriate behavior.
I was on a soft piece of furniture; the couch as it just so happened, and once I sat up, both of my teachers’ faces snapped up to face me, one with frustrated concern and the other with delight. The latter obviously had not learned from her actions and went to jump towards me yet again, but was pulled back by the collar by the more sensible of the two.
“Honestly, so you have any understanding of the concept of professionalism?! She has only just awoken, no thanks to you… Do you wish for her to be knocked unconscious yet again, you blithering fool?!”
Wow. Mr. Sormude sure could make his face an impressive shade of red.
Ms.Esquor halted in her actions and stiffened, before sighing, obviously relenting in her pursuit of my constant unconsciousness.
She then was released, and stepped forward. Her cheeks were tinted red, and as she gazed down upon my form, they seemed to pinken further.
“Hello, Yunano! My name is Ms.Esquor, I am your Combat instructor!”
I nodded my head, “A pleasure, Ms.Esquor,”
I blinked as she fidgeted, and she spoke up, “I -uh-... Sorry for knocking you out earlier! I definitely didn't mean to!” She then bowed.
I snorted silently, and waved my hand lazily, “It’s fine, no harm done. Shall we go, then?”
Advertisement
Ms.Esqour snapped back up, and steam seemed to puff out of her nostrils as she nodded sharply, one fist clenched.
I held out my hand for her to take, and she grasped it in hers, face a full canvas of red.
I nodded to Mr.Sormude as we left, “Until next lesson, thank you,”
He nodded back to me silently, and closed the door after us.
As Ms.Esquor and I walked down the corridor to the combat grounds hand in hand, she faced forward, eyes sparkling as we strode forwards.
She was easily pleased. Just holding my hand, and it filled her with this much vigor already?
Haha, she will be fun to manipulate.
We reached the combat grounds, and I was, honestly, thoroughly impressed.
There was a large raised area with various markings on the ground, the forest on the border. The wall that was facing the grounds from the building had a fold-out weapons stash.
Weapons such as whips, javelins, daggers, long and short swords and bows, kunai, shuriken, gauntlets and nunchucks were available.
Ms.Esquor grinned down at me, and we started our lesson.
We started by warming up with stretches and light parrying. Then we went on to combat.
Ms.Esquor was very talented. She was in control of very fiber of muscle in her body, and had such incredible speed and precision, that even the most experienced of fighters would likely lose to her in battle.
The first few rounds were good… But she seemed a little too happy when I landed hits on her…
Especially in our last round.
I had equipped a whip, and Ms.Esquor had remained unarmed, as she didn't want to hurt my frail child body.
We started off by circling eachother, slowly and carefully analyzing eachother’s minute movements.
She lashed out with a low sweep of the leg, aiming to knock me off my feet, but I nimbly jumped into the air, clearing her attack by a metre.
Advertisement
I dashed forward, taking the initiative, and unrolled the whip within my grip, allowing it to uncoil like a snake.
I ducked under her left hook, and flicked my arm, flicking out the black whip, curling it around her right ankle.
Tugging lightly, I knocked her slightly off-balance, and took the chance to duck through her knees and coil the whip around her other ankle.
She swept her arm down, aiming to hook under my arm, but I bent my torso out of the way, and hooked her wrist through the loop in the whip.
She grunted and twisted around, to face me who was behind her, and I caught her other wrist in the whip.
I then pulled.
Her eyes widened as she tumbled to the floor, and soon enough, her expression contorted into one of ecstasy.
She was bound by the ankles and wrists, making a sideways ‘c’ with her body.
E-eh??
A droplet of sweat cascaded down my forehead.
I… I seriously didn't mean to turn this into bondage.
A shuddered sigh of ecstasy lightly escaped Ms.Esquor, and my face darkened.
WHAT THE FUCK??
My teacher is an Uke Lolicon!
Mama!
You should check the quality of teachers before you hire them through an Oath Of Secrecy!!!
Sigh…
What a calamity.
After a *cough* panted and slightly erotic unbinding of my Lolicon teacher, the lessons for the day ended, and I said goodbye to a red-faced and sweating Esquor. Mr.Hoovencloff took me by the hand, and gave Ms.Esquor a weird glance as we made our way through the door.
He took me to the Pub, and, sure enough, Mama was drunk of her ass.
Her long wavy blonde hair was incredibly messy, falling over her flushed face, as she snorted with laughter, slapping the table with her hand, causing the glasses to rattle against the wood.
I sighed as I watched her shout, “My daughter is just the cutest!!!”
Mr.Hoovencloff cleared his throat, and Mama lazily moved her eyes over to us.
Her face instantly brightened, and she stood up, falling over to me, onto her knees, and scooping me into her arms, my face shoved deeply into her breasts.
“My baby is the cutest in the wooooorld!!!~”
Mama, please, you're supposed to be level-headed, this is too big of a character change!
I pushed my face out of her bosom and gazed up at her, “Mama,”
She gazed down at me, a flushed and sleepy smile adorning her features, “Hmm?”
I blinked up at her, “We need to go home,”
She pouted, pausing for a moment, before kissing my head, “Okay, my honeybee!~ Let’s go home! We can play on the way!”
I nodded my head, and pulled myself from her grip, standing and helping her up. She wobbled a bit, and I asissted her to the door, which Mr.Hoovencloff held open.
I nodded my thanks to Mr.Hoovencloff, and he nodded back, trailing behind Mama and I as we made our way into the carriage.
I got in, then helped Mama in, and waved goodbye to Mr.Hoovencloff, signalling to the driver to start on our way home.
The horses started trotting, and the familiar uncomfortable vibrations against my baby butt started up again.
I glanced down at Mama, who was deeply asleep, a weird grin on her face as drool trailed down her cheek.
Ah…
Thank god Mama isn't the designated driver.
Advertisement
- In Serial7 Chapters
They Who Hunt the Forest
As a rule of nature, breaking a wave before it peaks halts and disperses built-up energy. Unfortunately, Fate doesn't play by the rules of nature. The cost of a Fourth war: an equal number of lives, a thousand thousand generations of lost futures, and one infinitely unspeakably tortured soul of a child never given chance to be one. Or, the one where some power-hungry immorals decided to put the words "bijuu," infinite," "natural energy," and "psuedo" together in one sentence, not necessarily in that order. Naruto Fanfiction, please excuse the tags. AU ANBU OC, 3/4th Hokage era. Originally posted on Fanfiction.net Current release rate: 1 per week until caught up to Fanfiction.net Goal release rate: 1 per 1-2 months Actual release rate: 1 per 2+ months Explanation: average word count per chapter ~10,000+
8 186 - In Serial13 Chapters
TantaMount
Premise:Leo Renaud is a twenty-nothing year old living out his best years in questionable fashion. An average student with a small group of tight knit friends, he is obsessed with a relatively outdated MMO called TantaMount, relegated to obscurity due to its high level of difficulty. One morning he gets knocked down by a head turning ninja chick riding a motorcycle, who he swears he has seen as an NPC in TantaMount, and for obvious reasons, can't get her out of his head. And lately, players in TantaMount have been leaving the game (major players) and never heard from again. His best friends are skeptically behind him, but three large virtual mountains and many more obstacles block their path to understand what is going on, and the implications it might have in their world and the virtual one. Game on.
8 140 - In Serial75 Chapters
Memories of the Bean Times
To those who have survived: I write this now, for I fear my death is imminent. Barnabas Schmidt wasn't serious when he said he knew what was going on in Paris. Thomas Sauer wasn't expecting to put his life on the line studying a mysterious disease. Julia Krause wasn't trying to join a cult. And the Holy Roman Empire wasn't prepared to fight the Beans. In the year 1587, the small farming village of Dijon in the Kingdom of France is attacked by seemingly immortal monsters made out of baked beans. As Schmidt fights against the Beans on the front lines, the Beans steadily approach the Empire's borders. As Sauer searches for the Beans' weaknesses, the Church of the Beanmeister paves the way for the arrival of the God. As Krause helps the Church, she begins to question her loyalty to the Beanmeister. Updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Chapters are available earlier on the Bean Times website: https://beantimes.github.io
8 126 - In Serial47 Chapters
ACCIDENTAL
"he thinks i'm his mother?""and he thinks i'm his father..." ( CHANGKYUN | © monxsthetic. 2019 )#9 in monstaxfanfiction (20.07.06)#7 in monstaxfanfiction (20.07.08)#2 in monstaxfanfiction (20.08.15)
8 160 - In Serial33 Chapters
honey | taekook
a honey-toned vocalist with a drinking problem and a daughter gets a house keeper who has a talent for playing the viola and involving himself in things he shouldn't...
8 446 - In Serial17 Chapters
A HERO CAN FALL (Yami X OC X Yuno) [Black Clover]
Some say that the Vice Captian of Golden Dawn is perfect, unbeatable even. That is true about her immense strength and unquestionable charisma, but her personality doesn't begin to reflect them. Through all her years as a Magic Knight her emotions has been concealed within her; although only a handful of people has already unraveled the truth - one of them being Yami, a Captain she's never thought much of and Yuno, the newest member in her squad. What would be the outcome of all this?
8 346

