It had been far, far too long since I had been able to page through the tome and honestly, it sort of seemed like it was a fool’s errand to even pursue my ambitions at this point, everything had begun to fall apart at the seams and last thing I probably needed was to stir things up with my father. Still, I felt compelled to comb through the lines and try to search out the source for my eventual rise to power, perhaps I was just exhausted and frustrated and desired to get lost in anything other than what I had been for the past few days. Mari was still an anxiety riddled mess and demanded my full attention and compliance as her apprentice from the moment she woke up until she could no longer keep her eyes open, even meals had been infrequent and asking for any personal or training time was out of the question. I was sure that if I made a fuss about it or even whispered displeasure about the situation to Toria that she would nip it in the bud or at least assure that we approached the situation in a more level-headed manner, but I ultimately decided that it was more beneficial in the long run to let Mari feel in control and in charge of the situation, perhaps she would end up deciding that I was worth trusting in the end. Toria seemed wrapped up completely in her own situation, the details of which I didn’t have the foggiest idea of, we both had been like ships in a foggy night, passing each other with longing looks, but no time to actually connect.

“Haven’t seen you at that book since we arrived.” Toria had snuck in the room while I had been lost in my thoughts. “I had thought that perhaps I had given up on the idea for now. I suppose that would make sense given everything that's happening, last thing we need is anyone catching wind of your ambitions.”

“No, not given up,” I responded, “more just put it aside to wait for a better time. Though I do think perhaps it might be in my benefit that everyone is so distracted by everything else.”

Turning to face Toria I gave her a warm smile and she sat on the edge of the bed and gave me a tired smile in return as she wriggled her feet out of her shoes. The skin around her ankles and up to her knees were covered in fading red lines where it looked like she had had rope or some other binding tightly fastened around her legs. Her eyes followed where I was looking and she let out a light laugh.

“Training is interesting these days, Ana seems to have become acclimated with the idea that a bit of risk will help me progress faster when time is of the essence or Feros has made her need an outlet for her anger and I’m simply in the path of it.”

“It seems very strange to me that he has descended on her like this,” I commented, “it is not the first time they have been in contact with each other since the incident and he has typically left her well alone. Anyone could easily see that what she's not interested in any sort of recconciliation.”

Toria’s lips curled up into a tired smirk and she rolled her eyes. “You know how he is, everything has a mysterious ulterior motive, plus he seems to have a decent amount of intelligence, but sometimes lacks long term wisdom.”

“That’s a fair assessment, I assume you know something about why he is acting this way all of a sudden?”

“Yes, he was trying to distract from something he didn’t want me or really anyone else to know,” she explained. "He probably could have found a better situation to use, though this one likely seemed most convenient."

“Oh?” This had to be something quite big, no one with any sense of self preservation would ever poke Ana the way he had been.

“Alice is…” She paused and scrunched up her nose briefly in thought. “I guess the best way I can describe it is she’s unsealed at the moment. She can’t contain her magic and it’s just spilling out of her constantly, which as you can assume is not exactly what we want happening right now when we want her to lay low. Feros has a theory that it's a sort of fae trap to be able to track the girl down and recover her.”

“My father would lose his mind if he found out. He has gone to great lengths to keep any hint of fae presence far away from the kingdom.”

“Exactly why Feros is acting like a love struck fool.”

“It’s working, my father finds this whole thing terrifically entertaining, I don’t think he has any idea that it’s a distraction technique. He’s too wrapped up in what’s going to happen next like it’s just some sort of play. I suppose with Laric gone he’s been missing some of the drama that went along with his presence, the castle does seem much more quiet and organized with him away.”

“Any word from him?” Toria asked.

“None, which is exactly what I demanded from him. I will contact him when it becomes necessary, but no contact until then, I can’t afford anyone thinking I have any special reason to be connected to him.”

Toria let out a long sigh and dramatically plopped back onto the bed and wriggled her way up to the pillows. She peeled off her tight fitting training outfit and snuggled up in the blankets, resting her head on the pillows and closing her eyes.

“This has all become such a mess,” she murmured.

“It really has,” I agreed, “more so than you even think. When we’re both feeling up to sitting down and working on serious matters we need to put our heads together and come up with some solutions.”

Her eyes opened again and she looked at me seriously. “What now?”

“Your radically pious aunts are up to new tricks. Mari’s spy network has been infiltrated, she’s been losing her mind about it for a few days now.”

“Exactly what we need right now,” she groaned, “what else can go wrong at this point?”

“Oh that's a dangerous question to ask the universe. I don’t think it’s quite as bad as Mari fears it is though,” I said in a soothing tone. I knew that Toria deserved to know everything that was happening, though I didn’t think she needed extra worries on her plate when I could shoulder some of them for her. “In essence it just means we’re working in the dark now about the Church’s movements, but it’s not like the Church can get to us right now anyway. We can use this time here to figure out how to establish a new network and work out how to get around this hiccup. Quite honestly I think Mari is more upset that she didn’t see this coming, you know how she can be when someone unexpected happens or she feels like she's not in complete control.”

“So it’s just that? Nothing more terrifying?”

“Not that I know of, I personally think it was only a matter of time before at least some parts of it were discovered anyway. Mari has been running largely on intimidation to keep everyone in line and honest, but that surely would fall apart without her anyway and I’m surprised it did not when Evonia passed, people were generally more afraid of her.”

“I’m trusting you to deal with it then, I think I already am being stretched thin and I trust you know how to best deal with it.”

I rose from my seat at the desk and pulled my dress off over my head, the chilled air of the room felt delicious against my skin, I actually couldn’t remember the last time I had changed clothes. I had been falling asleep before I could bring up the energy to get undressed, waking up to stuff my face, then responding to the beckoning call of a panicked Mari. I was glad that this evening the frantic schedule seemed to have caught up with her and I had been able to slink out earlier than normal after she fell asleep in her chair. I slid into bed next to Toria and snuffed the candle on the bedside table.

“What was the incident?” Toria asked sleepily. I had thought she had already fallen asleep

“Pardon?”

“Between Feros and Ana.”

“Ah, that,” I said with a sigh. “It’s a bit of a tragic story that happened before I was even born, I only know bits of it and I don’t think I’ll ever be brave enough to ask her to recount any of it for the full story. What I do know is that Feros and her were together for quite a while and had a child. At some point Feros got into dabbling with fae magic, which usually meant having to deal with fae directly and since you’re not overly familiar with how they operate usually finding anything about their magic requires you find one of them willing to deal with you.”

“I thought that was a terrible idea?”

“Very much so,” I replied, “at least in my opinion. Especially since none of them, not even the most generous would ever give any information away for free. There is always a cost for dealing with them and usually the cost is more than most sane people would ever be willing to pay. On top of that they’re clever, sneaky, and generally bad tempered, that’s why pretty much everyone tries to keep fae as far away from their kingdoms as possible and do nothing to pique their interest. Feros is a special combination of brave and stupid or just really, really wanted whatever information he was after, because he agreed to their terms. I don’t know what he agreed to, but it ended with the death of their son.”

“He agreed to the death of his son in exchange for information?”

“Feros is a lot of things, but I don’t think he’s callous or heartless enough to have agreed to whatever it was knowing that would be the outcome. Still, he had to know he was playing with the worst kind of fire and chose to proceed anyway and Ana has never forgiven him.”

“I don’t think I blame her.”

“I definitely don’t and I think it’s very telling that he’s ripping open the wound now when it benefits him as a distraction. It’s a very cruel thing to do, you would think it should hurt him too and be too painful to use for his benefit.”

“I’m not convinced he feels emotions like we do,” Toria said, voice getting progressively more distant and disconnected.”

“You’re probably right.” I curled up against her and laid my head on her shoulder, finding immense comfort in hearing the heartbeat in her chest. “Poor Ana, I hope he finds something else to get everyone talking about soon. She was just here to do a job, not be tortured like this.”

“Mhmm” Toria murmured as she slipped into sleep.

I laid awake, listening to her breath deeply and mutter incoherently from her dreams. I should have focused on relaxing to catch up on my own rest, but every time I closed my eyes I found myself wondering when exactly I would be able to find time again to follow up on my own dreams. I had a feeling that life was just going to continue to get more complicated and hectic and perhaps it was wise to snatch opportunity while I could. Regretfully, I carefully pulled away from Toria and returned to the desk, flipping the book open to where I had last left off and leaning in close to be able to read in the dim candlelight. Lofty ambitions required sacrifice, I could rest when I was on my throne.