Tetsuya Miyazaki was an ordinary Japanese teenager. Ordinary height. Ordinary weight. Ordinary build. Ordinary anime protagonist haircut. Ordinary tracksuit. Even the way came to be reincarnated into this world was ordinary.

“I can’t believe I got hit by a truck and died and then got reincarnated in another world,” Tetsuya mumbled to himself. The last thing he remembered seeing before he woke up in this strange place was the headlights of a truck careening towards him. “Bravo, Truck-kun. You got me. You got me good. You four-wheeled bastard.”

The densely packed forest he found himself in was a far cry from the hustle and bustle of the Tokyo streets that he was used to. There were trees as far as the eye could see, and no matter how far he walked, there didn't seem to be ant end in sight. “So, I guess now I’ll become the chosen hero and go out on a quest to stop the demon lord,” he thought. “Or maybe I’ll become the demon lord and gather myself a harem of hot, sexy elf slaves. How great would it be if this was that kind of an isekai?”

"Are you listening to me Mr. Isekai Author-kun? Sexy elf slaves harem, now!" he demanded indignantly.

Tetsuya stopped before a large tree. He paced around for a bit, unsure whether or not to try it. He took a deep breath and held his hand up, directing all his magical energy towards the tree. “Explosion!” he yelled out.

Nothing.

“Well, that settles it,” Tetsuya thought to himself. “I guess I don’t have any magic powers after all.”

"Let's try something else, then," Tetsuya said, raising his fists and screaming into the sky.

“Ahhhhhh!”

"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

He charged at the tree at full speed but stopped with his fist inches away from making contact with the tree. “You know what, I probably don’t have super strength either. And it would probably hurt a lot if I punched this tree.”

“Gyaha!”

Tetsuya turned his head towards the direction of the strange sound. He could have sworn it was a muffled, mocking laughter. But there was no one there. “It’s okay, Tetsuya,” he thought to himself. “You’re just slowly losing your mind.”

The boy continued walking around aimlessly through the forest. “Trees fucking everywhere,” he mumbled to himself. “I’ve seen you before! Don’t think I don’t remember you!” He yelled out at a tree as if expecting a response. “I’ve been walking around in circles, haven’t I? I’m going to die in this forest starving to death before I even reach the first town, aren’t I?”

“If all the other isekai protagonists could see me, I bet they’d have a good laugh,” Tetsuya thought to himself.

“What a dork!”

“He couldn’t even make it to the first town!”

"Even I made it to the first town and I had a useless goddess with a fat ass weighing me down!”

Images of chosen heroes from legends past flashed through his mind, each one looking down at him with a condescending look upon their face. “What I wouldn’t give for a useless goddess with a fat ass right now,” he thought, groping the air in front of him.

“It’s pretty funny,” he thought. “I’ve been walking around this forest all this time and I don’t think I’ve seen a single animal-” His thoughts trailed off as he heard the sound of frantic trotting coming from a distance. The source of the noise grew closer and closer until he could see what was making them. Boars, three of them.

“Shit! Is this really how I’m going to die? To a bunch of fucking boars?” Tetsuya was frozen in fear. In his mind he knew that he should run away, but his body wouldn’t budge.

“Stupid boy!” A figure shoved him aside and charged at the boars with a large battle axe, its blade gleaming in the midday sun. In one swift motion, the axe came crushing down on the closest boar’s skull. It fell to the ground, its legs twitching as it died. The other two boars backed away cautiously, they could tell that they just went from being the predators to the prey.

Tetsuya stood gawking at the imposing figure before him. She towered over him, standing somewhere around 6′0″ tall. Though her physique was quite muscular, she had a bit of fat in all the right places. She had short black hair styled in a fauxhawk with the sides of her head completely shaved. Most striking of all was her olive green complexion. Memories flashed in his mind of his days shitposting on the internet.

“>tfw no orc gf.”

“Stinky smelly orc armpits.”

“Imagine how fun it would be being manhandled by her strong orc body.”

“I want to be princess carried by my sexy orc wife."

Tetsuya shook his head frantically. “If she could read my posting history, she’d probably bury that axe in my skull next,” he thought.

The two boars encircled her, stalking her, preparing to make their move. One of the boards lunged at her from the front. She swung her axe down and cleaved its skull in two. She swung with such force that the axe had gotten stuck. The boar behind her was next to attack.

“Behind you!” Tetsuya yelled out a warning.

The orc woman took a quick glance behind her and saw the last boar charging. She shoved her boot against the dead boar’s head as leverage to pry the axe free from its skull. The boar was too close to swing at it with her axe. She drove her boot through its snout, sending it whimpering to the ground. The orc woman raised her axe in the air and brought it down, putting the beast out of its misery.

The orc woman took a quick look around to make sure the area was cleared of any other threats.

“When hunting a pack of animals, you should always be wary of the occasional stragglers. Letting your guard down too soon could cost you your life if you let a straggler blindside you.” It was one of the first lessons that her mentor had taught her when he took her out for her first hunt.

Content that there were no more immediate threats, the orc woman let out a sigh of relief. She grabbed a water pouch from her waist and took a few big gulps, then turned to the boy and offered him a drink.

It was only now that Tetsuya realized how thirsty he was. He took the water pouch and held it to his lips.

“An indirect kiss! How l-lewd!”

Tetsuya shook his head.

“You expected your first kiss to be with a cute girl! But it was me, orc lady!”

Tetsuya shook his head again. “I spend way too much time on the internet,” he said to himself, taking a drink from the water pouch.

“Thank you,” Tetsuya said, handing water pouch back to the orc woman. “And thank you for saving me. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come along.”

“Don’t worry about it, kid,” she said with a big smile on her face. “Besides...” Her hearty smile turned into an awkward one. “I was kinda using you as bait.”

“Bait?” Tetsuya wondered out loud.

She forced an awkward laugh. “Boars tend to stay hidden unless they think they can take down a weak prey,” she explained. “I’d have a pretty hard time hunting them on my own because I’d just scare them off. So, I figured if I followed you around long enough, you’d draw a few of them out for me.”

“Weak prey, huh,” Tetsuya muttered to himself, his face turning pale from embarrassment. “Wait, how long have you been following me for?”

“Long enough to see you trying to explode a tree,” she said, laughing heartily.

Tetsuya felt like he could die from embarrassment.

“I’m Chelsea, by the way,” the orc woman introduced herself, extending out her hand.

“My name is Tetsuya,” he said as he shook her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

She had quite a strong grip and he was sure that she could crush every bone in his hand if she wanted to.

“Tetsuya...” Chelsea thought out loud, examining the boy closely. “That sounds like a Farlander name. Nobunagan if I had to guess.”

“But you don’t have the fluffy ears or tail,” she said, running her fingers through his hair, searching for signs that his ears were removed. “You look more like a human.”

“But I am a human,” Tetsuya replied, a bit confused.

“Farlander? Fluffy ears and tail? Nobunagan? Like Oda Nobunaga? I have no idea what any of this means,” he thought to himself.

Chelsea looked him up and down. “You don’t look like any human I’ve ever seen,” she said thoughtfully.

“You don’t dress like one either,” she said as she ran her fingers along the fabric of his tracksuit.

“Truth be told, I didn’t know what to make of you,” she said with a defeated sigh. “I’ve never seen anyone like you before. I thought you might have been dangerous. That’s part of the reason why I followed you.”

“I’m not dangerous, I swear!” Tetsuya protested.

“Yes, I figured that out around the time you started yelling at the trees like an idiot,” Chelsea said, letting out a soft chuckle.

Chelsea bent down and picked up a boar and placed it over her shoulder. She walked over to another one and did the same of the opposite shoulder.

“Hey, Tetsuya. Do me a favor and grab that one for me,” she said, jerking her head at the direction of the third boar.

Tetsuya bent down and did his best to pick up the boar, but it wouldn’t budge an inch. Chelsea watched the boy struggle with the boar, a look of mild bemusement spread across her face.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, laughing to herself. “I guess we’ll leave that one out for the dire wolves.”

Chelsea began to walk with Tetsuya following closely behind her.

“Where are we going?” Tetsuya asked curiously.

“Galanis’ Village up north,” Chelsea replied. “I took up a contract from the Adventurer’s Guild to deliver them a boar. Bringing them two should give me twice the bounty.”

“Three would have been even better, but...” she looked at Tetsuya with a shit-eating grin.

“S-sorry,” he muttered under his breath, his face flushed with embarrassment.

Chelsea let out a laugh. “I’m kidding. You’re way too serious, Tetsuya.”

“Tonight’s going to be a special night,” Chelsea said. “Princess Deirdre is visiting the Galanis’ Village and they’re holding a feast for her.”

“Princess Deirdre?” Tetsuya asked.

“The crown princess of the Kingdom of Alfheim,” Chelsea said, raising an eyebrow. “You really aren’t from around here, are you?”

“A princess, huh. I wonder what she’s like,” Tetsuya thought out loud.

"She’s beautiful beyond words, far more beautiful than any other elf I’ve ever seen,” Chelsea replied.

“Wait, she’s an elven princess?” Tetsuya thought to himself, stopping dead in his tracks. “I’ve read enough isekai to know that she’s definitely going to fall in love with me, the chosen hero. Probably. Maybe?”

“I guess everyone’s going to be excited to see her,” he said.

“To be honest I’m more excited at getting to see the Queensguard,” Chelsea said excitedly.

“What are the Queensguard?” Tetsuya wondered.

Chelsea raised an eyebrow at Testuya again.

“I’m... Not from around here, remember?” Tetsuya muttered in his defense.

“The Queensguard serves as the bodyguards of the Alfheim Royal Family,” Chelsea explained. “They are the elite of the elite. Warriors unmatched on the field of battle. Their power is indescribable, their skills unparalleled. To be chosen as a member of the Queensguard is the highest honor any warrior could ever hope for.”

“Are you hoping to join their ranks someday?” Tetsuya asked.

Chelsea let out a hearty laugh. “I wish. Right now, I’m far too weak to be taken seriously as a candidate for the Queensguard,” she said. “That’s why I’m training hard every day so that I can get even stronger.”

Tetsuya stared blankly at the orc woman carrying a boar effortlessly on each shoulder. “Did she just say that she’s too weak? Is she serious? There are people that are that much stronger than her in this world?” Tetsuya thought to himself.

“If I were to assume that these Queensguard people are all max level characters in an MMORPG, then I would also have to assume that there would have to be monsters of comparable levels for them to fight. Meaning the stronger they are, the more dangerous the monsters of this world are. How can someone as weak as I am survive in this world?” he wondered.