“Uh, can I not?” I asked, looking at the frozen scene before me. No one moved as the fireballs flickered above their heads. The villagers stood still even when they weren’t being directly targeted.

I could understand Shizuka’s actions of protecting the villagers, but I couldn’t understand what she wanted to accomplish with the rest. Why would she hold the bandits hostage? In some twisted way, I knew she wanted to use them to train me. They were a whetstone.

However, there was the “why” I was worried about. Shizuka and I’s relationship ended with me protecting the villagers, and at most we should have had a couple conversations. It wasn’t like I was completely clueless, though. Her reasoning for her actions was both simple and complex. For the most part, she just did what she wanted.

Then, why she felt the need to help me was also drawn into question. And if I could actually go through with her crazy training was another problem, too. She was basically telling me to kill people.

I was… oddly not too unopposed to it. Realistically, I wasn’t going to be able to talk out all my problems with everyone, and there were definitely going to be people aiming for my life either because of certain circumstances or for the simple fact that I was a Gaijin. After hearing everything about the other Gaijins as well as understanding how strong people here can be, I kind of expected some people to just try to kill me as a sort of prevention.

The bandits were a good starter, all things said. If I was to be completely logical about it, then they were perhaps one of the best whetstones for me to practice on. They had made it clear they weren’t the most morally sound people around, and I had only seen a couple that looked mildly reluctant to kill the villagers. To kill them would definitely be a net positive.

However, I could not just look at this on a logical scale. They were humans. To simply look at them like a training exercise was something I couldn’t just do immediately.

Shizuka looked at me oddly, and I tried not to meet her gaze. I felt that she would ruin any chances I had at arguing against her if I met her eyes. “Why? Is there something wrong?”

“No, it’s not that.” I shook my head. My gaze traveled over the frozen villagers and bandits. They were terrified, that much was certain, but that was not the point. She did this for my training. Something that would benefit me. Yet, this was too much. “Why can’t you… just end this? They’re your subjects– why do I need to help them? You can finish this easily.”

“Did you not say you wanted to be treated as some kind of hero before?”

I froze, finally turning to her. “Where did you hear that?”

“That young Foot Soldier told me, of course.” Shizuka said with a smile. Yasuda ratted me out then; if I wasn’t already in the middle of trying to get out of something, I would be pretty mad at him for spreading around such an embarrassing thing. Shizuka gestured to the crowd before us, causing most of them to flinch. “Isn’t this a good chance? You can save people, get training, and gather energy from killing some beasts. Can there be a better opportunity? I think its pretty good chance that I am offering you.”

I swallowed. For some reason her words were reasonable. I couldn’t quite deny that she had no point in her explanation, but I couldn’t agree with her. The vision of Shizuka and Minamoto’s souls played at the back of my mind. There was no doubt in my mind that they had killed a fair share of people; they weren’t good people by the standards of my old world. Yet… yet, I still considered Minamoto my friend.

I knew I was at a precipice. This was a decision that would later define me. I knew that it would be easy to just follow Shizuka’s words, but did I want to do that? I had promised to start living in this world, but was I really ready to break one of the things that I considered to be part of my humanity?

“Why do you keep calling them that?” I asked, trying to steer the conversation elsewhere.

“Who?”

“Beasts, I mean. They look human to me– are they some kind of yokai or something?”

Shizuka looked at me quizzically. She spoke slowly as if I wouldn’t understand her words otherwise. “It matters not what they look like– they have made the choice to act like beasts. To bite and consume anything around them in order to survive. You call them human. Is that why you resist? What distinction does that have to me? Would you cut me down because I am not human?”

I swallowed. I knew I was just trying to get out of making a decision; I was running away again. “That’s not what I mean.”

“Then, what do you mean?” Shizuka pressed, seemingly agitated. “Did you not want to be stronger? How do you think you accomplish that? Did going into a dungeon not make it clear to you– To grow strong, to be truly strong, what do you think is needed?”

I stalled long enough that she poke a nail into my chest. Gone were the questions on why she chose to help me. Instead, all I knew was that I had disappointed her somehow. She continued as I kept my lips closed. “Stats, Life Rank, skills, techniques, and, for humans, classes. You stack up enough, you pile up enough, it matters little how many times your enemy has swung their blade. You should know this better than me, Gaijin. After all, how can someone without strength– without even a crumb of experience– survive against enemies? Now, I have given you an opportunity. Answer me: why are you here? Where is your conviction to get stronger?”

“I- I-” my words were stuck in my throat. I already had an answer, and with her full attention, I couldn’t resist her words. “I don’t think I’m strong enough. Mentally, I don’t think I am ready.”

I felt my reasoning come back, and my breath came out in labored gasps as if I had just ran a marathon. The Kappa’s struggle to resist the Queen played back in my head. I felt my stomach was hot with anger, but it refused to show. I couldn’t be angry at someone who could burn me from the inside out. However, my good will ran thin with how easily she chose to manipulate me. Honestly, I felt both horrified and exposed when in Shizuka’s presence. This just cemented my opinion on her.

She was trouble.

Whether my thoughts showed or not, Shizuka turned away from me. Her voice grew softer, almost as if to say she was vulnerable. It was a lie we both knew. “When… will you be ready?”

I sighed. Shizuka’s presence made any situation involving her go along with her pace. I was hopelessly unable to keep up, and my apprehension was slowly being replaced with exhaustion.

However, her words were true. If I didn’t do anything here, when would I act? In the end, I knew I was overthinking everything again, but I couldn’t help it.

I focused on the one thing I knew would spur me. [Presence Correction] sprung up as I channeled a bit of Life Energy through it, and slowly I felt angry at everything. An Oni’s presence began covering up my cowardice as an Oni – Variant mask formed in my hand.

I tried to hold back as much as I could, trying to remember the times where I had run from an Oni. Unsurprisingly, I had too many memories of Onis. They were the first thing I had run into with the sheer, unwavering desire to kill me. In a way, they were what spurred me to survive; to get stronger.

Right now, I was wearing its presence like a skin, and I couldn’t help but feel a bit sick. I knew that it was just a product of my skill. That much was clear. Yet, it was a conditioned response at this point.

The Oni – Variant mask fit perfectly on my face. I could feel it perfectly. The distance between a human and an Oni was perfectly presented to me, and even if it was a copy of its physique, I felt like I could rip apart a car with my bare hands with my low body stats.

“[status].” My voice came out in a rough baritone.

[True Name: N/A]

Name: David Wyatt

Life Rank: F

[Stats]

Body: F

Mind: G+

Soul: F+

[Class:Rank 1 (0/2 conditions cleared for Class Advancement)]

[Acolyte - Self: One of the lowest of servants who worship a god. Your contract to god “David Wyatt” is a minor and unimportant one.]

[Stat Modifiers]

Body: 1x

Mind: 1x

Soul: 2x

[Techniques]

Body - N/A

Mind - N/A

Soul - [Life-Death Soul Weaving (Grade 3)]

[Skills]

G - [Presence Correction: The ability to correct everyone’s perception of you through Life Energy.]

F - [Mask of Flesh: The ability to copy the physical qualities of anyone by wearing their mask. Must first gain the essence of the person. Can only hold 10 masks. Unchangeable.]

It was gratifying to see the progress, but I was more focused on my body stat that finally increased. I knew it changed sometime ago when we were marching. I had just been too preoccupied with my thoughts to actually acknowledge it.

I dismissed the screen as I looked over the still bandits and villagers. Perhaps it was [Presence Correction] affecting me, or it was Shizuka’s words that broke the last of my resistance, but I made my decision. This action was necessary the further I reached into this world. Whether I recognized it or not, I knew that I had to get used to this.

Briefly, the conversation I had with Minamoto ran in the back of my head. Where everything got easier with practice and experience. I silently wondered how many times Shizuka had done this exact thing to where she had started to call people beasts. Nothing but animals to be put down.

A shaky breath shook my body as I felt my Life Energy slowly ebb with my running skills. For some reason, it felt easier to move as I leaned into [Presence Correction]’s emulation of the Oni I envisioned.

“Just… just think of them as mere beasts.” Shizuka’s soft words nearly went over my head as I started walking towards the frozen group. Everyone’s eyes shifted away from the Queen to me.

My steps felt heavy. I instinctively knew if I put more strength into my feet, I could easily sink into the softer soil. Every swing of my arms wanted to pull my upper body to and fro, but I was able to compensate for it like the modified strength was my own.

I was slightly lost in the feeling that I barely noticed I had reached the first bandit. When I finally was up close, I could smell the vile stench wafting off their body. It was shit, blood and rot that nearly caused me to gag.

They trembled slightly, eying the Oni mask on my face. I knew I wasn’t an imposing figure, but [Presence Correction] also solved that issue. To anyone, I probably felt like a human-shaped Oni.

Their yellow teeth clacked together continuously, and I felt another wave of apprehension take over me. I had chosen this bandit because he was the one laughing while cutting down a father in front of their child. He was the very definition of a horrible person, and supposedly, that should have made this easier. This was a turning point I knew needed to happen. I was nervous, feeling like I was both full of energy and unable to move at the same time.

So, when I finally exploded, I completely disregarded the instinct that my [Presence Correction] seemed to be pushing me in. My arm snapped up in a sloppy punch. The man never saw it coming. He was maybe focused more on not being burnt to death, but it was also my own [Mask of Flesh] skill that copied the physique of an Oni. A being that needed a force of fifty trained soldiers to even contend against. And from the strength I felt coursing through my veins, I got the impression that it wasn’t even Life Rank D.

However, that strength was condensed into my fist. It was an inexperienced attack, really. Though, when the attack hit his neck, I barely felt any resistance as his head separated from his shoulders. It was like I had punched through wet paper.

A light thud echoed in my ears as his body collapsed in my arms. I had instinctively caught it, letting spurts of hot blood spray onto my face. My heart was beating hard in my chest, and I felt theirs stop after a couple seconds.

“What the- what the fuck?!” One of the bandits screamed nearby, but I was looking at the body in my arms.

“Shit! Shit!” More screams, more curses.

“Shizuka,” I whispered, feeling that her body stat definitely let her hear me. “Let them attack me.”

I unceremoniously dropped the corpse in my hands. It was still warm when it landed on the floor, spilling more blood on my shoes. Everything had happened so quickly that I was still processing it. I knew that if I let myself think for a moment, I would freeze and stall.

Perhaps, I wanted my attack on the bandit to fail. I had expected things to escalate when I made my actions, but now I just felt empty and unable to actively make a response. Now, it felt more like my mind wasn’t my own. Everything just became more numb.

“I need to get used to this.” I said more to myself.

When I looked at the bandits, they flinched. They stepped back instinctively, but a couple of them realized that the fireballs above their heads refused to come down. That fact gave them a bit more confidence, and two more arrogant ones ran at me without another word.

“Die, you freak!” One of them yelled, raising their hatchet into the air. For a second, I tensed. I expected a skill or technique to be used. All my recent opponents had something that made me wary.

Yet, I easily stepped to the side to dodge it.

“Stand still, f- fuck!” The bandit yelled again, and I backed up as his swings became wild.

I ducked under a horizontal slash, stepped aside as he tried to hit me from below and backed away from anything I wasn’t confident in dodging. He never changed his swing; never gave any indication he might deceive me with some skill. My heartbeat thundered in my ears as I moved faster than he could.

The whole encounter should have only been a couple seconds, and during it, I caught sight of the bandit who charged over as well, finally reaching us. He flinched at my gaze, knowing that we had locked eyes even as I dodged the attacks of his compatriot.

Then, I shifted to the side from another attack. The blade of his hatchet missed my right side as I pushed all my weight onto my left foot. My foot dug into the softer earth as I twisted my hips, and my left fist buried into the bandit’s exposed side. I could feel his ribs snap on contact, and shivers went down my spine at how that didn’t even slow me down much.

His eyes bulged in their sockets as his body floated in the air for a second. He couldn’t even respond as my right fist cracked into his skull, sending into the ground. He didn’t get up when he slammed down headfirst.

“Fuck! What the hell are you?!” The bandit who had been charging at me stopped. The rest who had realized they could move had also froze once again. “Why are you here?!”

I breathed heavily. All of my previous enemies never spoke to me; it was always a me-or-them fight. Never did they get scared or back away. Never did I feel as horrible as I did now when we fought.

They didn’t have Life Energy, skills nor techniques. I even doubted their classes did much. It would be easy to continue this, to kill them and increase my Life Rank. Honestly, they were in the wrong originally. They were bandits, killing innocent villagers with smiles on their faces. I had enough incentive and reason to continue with my actions.

“Surrender.” I said, my voice hoarse and low. “Surrender and you will live.”

“Shit.” Several of them threw down their weapons, eying me and Shizuka warily. I looked over at Shizuka, and found her smiling brightly in my direction. [Presence Correction] was still ongoing, and I realized her smile wasn’t as dazzling as it should have been.

“Damnit, I knew this was a bad idea…” One of the bandits whispers, glaring at me with tears in his eyes. I had remembered he was one of them who was reluctant to join the rest of the slaughter. And it was only because I was paying attention to me that I heard him whisper, “...where were the both of you before?”

I tried to ignore his words as I walked over to Shizuka and dismissed the Oni - Variant mask from my face. My steps faltered for a moment, and I was suddenly assaulted with pain. My right hand was swelling up as I focused on it. I had been so zoned out that I had fucked it up again.

“Ow, shit…” I cursed, cradling my right hand close to my chest. It was a good enough distraction to my circumstances.

“Are you… okay?” Shizuka asked tentatively. With [Presence Correction] still running, her actions felt more genuine. I realized that she wasn’t manipulating me, she was seriously concerned with my wellbeing. It was both comforting and gratifying to have that clarified. Not that it helped my impression of her. Much.

However, I didn’t want to look her in the eyes. I kept my eyes on my hand. “I’m okay.”

“Okay,” she said.

“Shizuka,” I said, feeling her eyes snap to me as I spoke. “Am I strong?”

“...no.”

“That’s what I thought.” I chuckled mirthlessly, looking over at the bandits who were watching us. They shuffled around awkwardly while under our gazes. “We’re all pretty weak, huh.”

[You have satisfied all conditions for Class Advancement]

Minamoto’s words whispered into my thoughts as the prompt came up. How things would get easier with time and experience. Yet, as I looked over at the unmoving bodies, I hated the thought that was buried in the back of my head.

Perhaps, it was how the sensations were similar to killing yokai. Where I had already been desensitized to death from my previous experience in the village. I had already seen a bunch of horrible stuff from both of the worlds I lived in through different perspectives. So, I should have expected things to come to this.

Despite knowing all that, I still despised how easy it was. My hand only trembled due to the pain.