Villain To Be: Chapter 5

- Emilia’s POV –

So, dear audience let me inform you all that I, Emilia Rose Fireheart, once again experienced another diabolically magnificent…

*BLEGHHH!*

… failure… in my cooking career.

Ugh… the dietary vegetable and fruit drink was… too much.

I could still taste the banana’s sweet tinge mixed together with the broccoli’s roughness, though after five seconds in my mouth the flavor suddenly became sour, after two more seconds it became sweet again! Aside from the roughness, there is an unsettling slimy texture as well. Ahhh… I shouldn’t have put in the okra!

Its color had a hint of the pumpkin, as well as the color of the greens. I wonder why even though I stirred it like crazy, the two colors just wouldn’t mix together. Can science answer my wonder? Was it related to density or the likes of the two colors, is that it?

*BLEGHHH!*

Not all of the fruits and veg’s were grounded finely so some chunks of them can be seen often surfacing. There were orange seeds along with some pulps that were once apples. I can also still vaguely remember spotting the celery or cabbage… or it could’ve been the broccoli again. Somehow it looked closer to spinach… I never added spinach!

Thinking that it would help increase the fruity scent of my concoction, I added a lot of citrus but I wonder why it ended up smelling like the wet grass from our courtyard.

If you put it closer to your nose though, its fragrance becomes very nostalgic… it smells like the bug spray I used to use.

*BLEGHHH!*

I just don’t know where I’ve gone wrong!

After learning of my notorious antics with the greeneries, mother once again made a warning to all, banning me from the kitchen aaaaannnndddd~~~ from any other possible ingredients I can get my hands on.

Seriously, it’s not like I don’t know how to cook! It’s just that after a while of constant stirring, whatever I’m making would just boil on its own. Even the ice cold beverage from before somehow boiled while still cold!

Can someone explain this phenomenon?

None?

I’ve asked that perverted granpa about it before and what he replied is that I’m not to blame for it… he even said that I have talent!

Well, he said I have talent for alchemy. *sniff* (T ^ T)

Speaking of granpa, he was shooed away by yours truly because he was rolling on the floor laughing while I was hurling my breakfast, lunch and snacks straight from my intestines to the toilet.

Damn old relic!

I wonder… is it just me, or does every man in my life had to see me make a fool out of myself?

Once was with father when he cleaned my diapers (when I was a baby), with the servants when they saw me butt naked (when I was a baby), with that granpa when I had my nose bleed added to the current mess up (when I was no longer a baby), then finally with that prince when he saw me in my failed attempt to make a music video (again, when I was no longer a baby).

It’s almost start of classes and I’m already uneasy.

Brace yourself Emilia, more bad luck screw-ups are on their way!

I raised my fist in the air in order to motivate myself.

After a good night’s sleep, I am up and kickin’ around like yesterday was just a dream! The weather is great, the food is delicious, I’ve got a new Nanny (apparently, Marie’s relative got married so she had to go home for the occasion… yeah right), and today is the day the exam’s result will arrive!

Fufufufufu… just between us, but the day before the exam I didn’t even study a bit yet when I saw the test questions I was shocked! My god, can they give an exam more difficult than this? LOL!

I don’t mean to brag but hey, are they trying to insult my wisdom?

“What was the composition of a water ball?” Bloody H2O to your faces damn primates!

As for the familiar summoning… heck, I got myself a damn LEGENDARY, MYTHICAL, ULTRA BAD-ASS KIRIN for damn Spongebob’s sake! Of course I’ll pass!

What would they call this, “flying colors” was it?

Fufufufufufu…

Kekekekekekeke…

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

But wait! Oh no…

No… to think I’ve screwed up!

I’ve read about this before… the MC got perfect scores on their test, then the next thing they know, they’re thrown out to pit against other OP smartass for the sake of the school’s pride and glory!

Oh the expectations!

Oh the obligations!

Not good!

My villainous, laid back life would be in great peril!

What do I do?!

I paced back and forth near the front door of our house in agitation. A little white orb follows behind me like a tail as I try to search for ways mend my mistakes… then, a light bulb lit inside my head!

I know what to do!

Because I suddenly stopped, the white orb bumped on my back and bounced back a couple of steps behind. Without enough time for it to utter a word, I snappily clasped it with both hands and gave it my most evil smile!

Fufufufufufu…

There was a saying that if you don’t have the answer, someone else does! And thankfully, that ‘someone else’ is just right here!

Sensing my bloodthirst, the cute little white orb shivered instinctively and tried to wriggle out of my hands. Too bad, you can run but you can never hide! But, I won’t even let you run in the first place.

Kekekekekekekeke…..

“Say little whitey…”

“NO!”

“What ‘NO’? I haven’t said anything yet.”

“Listen here child, I’m not your familiar for no reason! Of course I’d know you’re up to no good!”

“Tsk!”

“Don’t click your tongue!”

“Now, now, listen here little whitey… no need to be frightened eh. This sister is just gonna ask ya a few questions, yeah? Completely harmless ya know?”

“By the heavens, you sounded like a thug!”

Again, the little white orb wriggled with all its might! Okay, this is fun. But I really have to solve my problem first so I guess I’ll have to stop here… for now.

“Okay whitey, I need to know a way to alter the test result!” I said it like a sudden bullet that came out of nowhere, making whitey stop its struggles.

“Oh dear me, child, could it be… you failed?”

“No! It’s the opposite! I think I might’ve perfected the exam!”

“Wow, quite the confidence there… so what’s the problem then?”

“It’s exactly because I might’ve perfected it, that’s why I’m in a pinch! My parents would be too happy, they would announce it to the whole world that I’m some kind of genius or something and I don’t want that! I can’t take the responsibility that it will bring. I’ll be crushed under pressure!”

The little white orb became silent after my outburst. Pondering for a moment… a couple of moment… okay, it’s obviously over reacting… let’s squeeze it.

“OUCH!... hey stop that!”

“Oh so you’re still awake eh? Ya think ya’re gonna get away with pretending to be thinkin’ eh? Want this sister to squish you flat huh?”

“No, no, no… I was just amazed at you that’s all!”

“Oho~”

“YEAH! THAT’S RIGHT! To think… a perfect score! (…so shameless) Indeed, one could only admire your brilliance! (… and your thick skin!)”

“Oho~… hohohoho… of course, of course! But, we don’t have time to be amazed at my greatness, we still have to find a way to solve my problem!”

“Yeah… well, why not just ask your parents not to ‘announce to the world’ your achievement? You can also ask them to help you cover up.”

“………”

“The exam results are usually confidential so unless you deliberately tell others of your scores, they won’t usually know…”

“………”

“Ah, yeah, I remember the exam’s top ranker would have to give a speech at the entrance ceremony, but I don’t think they would force you if you decline… it’s just a speech after all.”

“………”

“Uh… why are you still staring at me like that?.. You know, you can also skip the entrance ceremony if you want to.”

“… fu…”

“Fu?”

“Fu… fufufu… fu… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

That’s right! I can just skip the whole damn thing!

That’s it! Well done, whitey, well done!”

Yeah right! I am a villain, I had to be rebellious, defiant, nasty! I don’t freakin’ have to attend the damn ceremony at all! LOL!

I was busy celebrating when all of the sudden, the front door was slammed wide open and a small figure rushed up to me in an instant.

“Oh Emelia!” exclaimed the silver haired bishonen that rushed up to me clasping my hand into his.

“Grandpa?!”

“The exam result, I saw it! I can’t believe my eyes!”

I felt my cheeks heat up and a grin is threatening to appear…

“Really! You never cease to surprise me! Fifty questions from four different subjects, that’s two hundred questions all in all… and you got yourself a total of 25!”

I blanked…

“Twenty five! You broke the record of the lowest score in history!”

“……”

“Honestly! I didn’t believe it at first, but when I saw your answer sheet… Pfft!”

“……”

“’What was the composition of a water ball?’ And you answered something like ‘ro-gen and another –gen something!”

“……”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA… my sides! I can’t believe someone would trip at an elementary question about magic that easily! Hahahahahahahaha!”

“……”

Ah, that’s right… a medieval setting with more magic and less science… shit.