I grunted, my head aching as I tried to open my eyes. I laid on a cold straw mat on the floor. Struggling to get up, my hand hit a glass bottle, sending it tumbling over the floor. A few brown drops splashed on my skin, cold and smelling of beer.

"Fun times, fun times." As expected, the voice that greeted me was not quite my own. It was a touch lower and smokey.

Something hard pressed against my hip, poking me as I tried to right myself. My hand went down and grasped a short sword bound in a wooden scabbard. Of course, I'd sleep with it. What's the use of having a blade if you don't use it as a pillow?

I looked to be in a small, rundown shack. As I tried to sit up and work the kinks out of my stiff muscles, my grumbling woke the other inhabitants of the room. A man and woman were lazying naked on the actual bed.

Great, this probably wasn't even my place. What was I doing here then?

"Mon?" I squinted at the man. He had blue skin, pointy ears, and salt-and-pepper hair. I only knew one other Fanaal, so it must be him.

"Hey kid," he muttered sleepily before stumbling out of bed. He then proceeded to piss in a brass pot and I caught an unpleasant glimpse of blue, saggy uncle ass. As I turned my head, I couldn't help but think of the millions of dollars in technology and manpower that made such a sight possible. Thousands of years of human progress led up to the moment when I could plug myself into a computer and experience being hungover and mooned.

Whatever amusement I might have gotten from that thought was interrupted by a donkey-kick of a headache bursting in my temples.

"Valassis," I spat, as I forced myself to my feet. That's Fanaalian for 'shit-badger.' I had no idea how I knew that. What mattered now was the shack door in front of me. "I'm going to get something to eat."

I pushed my way outside. My first view of the 'jewel of the North' was a muddy slum. Kids and dogs were running around making far too much noise. A too-bright sun hung in the cold blue sky. Homes appeared to be a long mud and wooden structure, broken up into individual units. That probably kept things warmer in winter.

There was a communal garden with a goat tied out in front. Clothing fluttered on long lines hung between rows.

I took this in slowly, trying to reorient myself. Which is to say I spent a few minutes blinking in the sunlight like an idiot.

"Hey, kid." Mon appeared beside me, blurry-eyed and needing a shave. Thankfully, he'd stuck on some pants.

"It's Janus," I replied. My avatar was a young woman. I was not going to answer to 'kid.'

He nodded groggily, as though I'd told him this before. "I'm fine with you crashing at my place whenever you want. It's fine with me. But Bete, she's been on my case lately."

I recalled the pale human woman who'd been tangled in bed with Mon. She'd also looked saggy and worse for the wear.

"What’s wrong?" I asked.

"She's just been ragging on me about money. You know how she gets. I'm fine with it, but she's thinking if you could chip in a few coins..."

My eyes lit up, catching his meaning. "How much?"

He gave a halfhearted shrug. "A few silvers if you can get them. Things have been tight. If it were only me, I'd never ask."

"Not a problem. I'll see what I can do." I clapped him on the arm. His smile told me he knew I was good for it, and he headed back inside to sleep away the noon.

I made my way out of the cul-de-sac into the streets, making sure to step clear of any unsavory-looking puddles. The faces I met were rough but friendly. Most people favored me with a smile or nod when I met their eyes, and a few even said 'good morning.' I guess they knew me.

As promised, my starting gear appeared to be of good quality. My [Fine Novice Uniform] was a matching shirt, pants, and overcoat combination of matching tan denim with black suede. My [Fine Novice Boots] were also black suede with iron toes and banding. The [Fine Novice Blade] looked to be a gladius, its steel blade at about 50 centimeters. I swung it as I walked, earning me a few glances, though no one looked alarmed.

There were a few others with long knives or wooden clubs hung on their belt. I wondered how dangerous the neighborhood was after dark.

Catch the View: A higher advantage point would let you see more of the city. Why not take a look around?

Reward: Map Update

Not a bad idea. Thank you, magical suggestion box!

My vision swept upwards as I checked out the buildings nearby. Most were houses or shop fronts, but I spotted a two level stone building not far off. I jogged to it and then clamored up the outside wall—between the gaps between stones and my new, more agile body, it was a simple task. This caught the attention of a small pack of children who stared at me in interest.

I scrambled onto the roof and waved at them before disappearing. The tile was warm from sunlight and the air cleaner. As, I looked around, my mental map of this area expanded. I was by the north gate in one of Brekinhiem's poorer districts but a few blocks south and I’d start running into the larger and more elegant plazas of merchants. There was also a very large bridge to my southeast that lead to the temple district.

More interesting was that this bridge had three levels, one of which was the ‘underbridge.’

I sat on the roof, chin in hand, scanning my translucent map in the air. There were the docks, a university, a trade center, two banks, restaurants, theaters, temples... where to start? What to do?

As though responding to my mental prompting, the scent of fresh bread wafted my way and caused my stomach to growl. Peering over the tiles of the roof, I noticed an open balcony below. I slid forward on my belly and tried to catch a glimpse inside. My ears caught the sound of an infant crying somewhere within but otherwise, the room below me was empty.

I dropped down onto the wood of the balcony and crouched in anticipation. Nothing stirred within. It was a small den warmed by morning sunlight. A half-opened door led to the hall. On a small, round table sat a pot of tea, some bread and jam, and a pie about the size of my hand.

The crust looked light and golden. The scent of beef and some sort of fruit wafted from within.

My stomach growled again, reminding me of its presence. Should I... take it?

I wanted it. It was there.

I was hardly going to hurt anyone by taking some NPC’s breakfast! But I hesitated. What if I got in trouble? There was probably a karma system. For all I knew, one stolen item might brand me a thief to every guard in the city.

The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs reached my ears. Now or never!

I grabbed the small treasure. It burned my fingers but I hardly noticed as I darted to the balcony, swung my leg over the railing, and hopped down with my prize.

My heart pounded as I sped over the small wall that divided the house from the road, and I found myself suppressing a giggle. Master thief that I was, I’d made my break in the middle of the day with dozens of people around. There’s no way they’d fail to notice a blueberry elf girl running madly with a grin on her face and a hot pie in her hands.

I ran for a block or two until I was sure five hundred city guards weren’t going to spawn and tackle me for violating the law.

Five minutes later, I was happily perched on another wall, stuffing hot pie into my mouth. They’d mixed a peach preserve in with the beef and it was tasty, though it burned the roof of my mouth.

My escapade had earned me some notices and I read them as I ate.

Title Awarded: Pie-Thief

You perniciously pocketed another’s pie. Plus three-point-one-four percent bonus when purloining pastries.

Path of the Moth 1/5

The Moth Says: I must nibble at every fruit on the tree if I wish to find the sweetest

Path of the Fox 1/7

The Fox Says: Greed is a sin. By liberating the farmer from his fat hens, I teach temperance.

Alignment: +1 Sybaritic

I must have stumbled upon a joke achievement. For all I knew, the game had generated that pie simply to see if I’d take it. I’d said I was hungry, after all, and it was a system prompt that got me on the rooftop in the first place.

The alignment message gave me pause, however. I should probably perform a good, helpful action to swing my karma back into the positive. Also, Mon was expecting me to bring him money. I wasn’t sure if it was a task or a real Quest, but I wasn’t going to put it off.

I pulled up my map. If this were a major city, there had to be a quest hub or something. A golden coin appeared on the map and I tapped it.

‘Adventurer’s Guild.’

There we go. It was just the place for a level 1 novice. I set it as my way-point and headed off.