Quin knew that what he said may be seen as a bit too excessive and demanding but he saw how Xia and Zhai wanted to be the girl’s step-parents. Furthermore, he also knew how bad it was to grow without a loving father. Although he always tried to avoid thinking about him it did not change how he felt and what he knew deep inside his mind. He still clearly remembered those painful sentences when his father had told him that he was worthless and how he basically ignored him for years. Now that he was a bit more mature and experienced, it was also hard not see how suddenly he had changed his opinion about Quin after he got his lightning element and then disappeared right after he had lost his cultivation. The conclusion was quite simple: his father did not truly love him, only his talent and that he was somebody Quin could not rely on if things turned bad, as when he would have needed him the most, his father just left them. Despite all of this there was still a part of Quin that loved him and wanted nothing more to be acknowledged by him, however, this part of him was growing smaller by each passing day.

It was due to these experiences that he wanted to give the girl a truly loving family. Although he did say that he would be waiting for her real parents for half a year, he did not have much hope in that regard. Quin also thought that placing her under a caring family would be the best choice and excluding Zhai’s first impression they did look like that.

“I promise I won’t be like that!” Zhai said with resolution in his eyes.

“So, Zhai, how about it: you’ll come to look after her instead of Xia a few days of the week?” Quin asked.

“Hm? Me?” Zhai pondered, but only for a moment and said with a smile, “Alright!”

It seems like I’ve guessed it right, Quin thought. Looking at Zhai’s previous expressions and looks he assumed that what they said was not just for show, but he could not be sure. If they had just tried to trick him then he could have probably seen some hesitation or dissatisfaction in Zhai’s eyes, but it was not the case. True, there was some confusion in his eyes at first but I think that was rather because he didn’t understand my reasons and then, he only looked excited.

“Then discuss it with Xia later which days it should be and then tell me, but for today I just want to continue my training,” Quin said and started to walk toward the lake.

Was how I handled it good? Wasn’t I too strict or maybe just too lenient? Still, I do think having a caring family would be the best for her and I think I did everything I could’ve done to assure that... He let out a long sigh.

He had been so sure and confident about everything and how he should have dealt with any kind of problems. It was different now, however, and he was often filled with doubts regarding his decisions. After getting slapped in the face by life several times and experiencing that not everything was as simple as he had imagined it, his overall view of life had changed gradually during these months. He was no longer the arrogant, domineering genius who was eager to judge anyone or make enemy even out of his friends in the blink of an eye. Seeing and experiencing the other side of life, how friendly and kind people he previously considered as lowly ones acted toward him -- like the residents of the village he spent a month in -- he no longer looked down on them. Though he needed some time for it, eventually he realized that being powerful, talented or born as a noble was not something that decided someone’s worth. What Leyn had told him years ago was right and everyone had a role in the society. Maybe those people viewed farmers, talentless people, and the likes as inferiors but he could not agree with them anymore. He had worked in the fields, and it was not an easy job at all, besides without the farmers providing them with food what would they do? Though they could go hunting, there were not nearly enough beasts to feed them across the civilized lands and the Wilderness was quite dangerous even for Spirit Forming experts.

In light of those things, he felt a bit foolish of his past deeds. He remembered when he made up with Leyn in the hospital, he thought that it was him that was forgiving her. Yet now, it was clear to him that all of the things he had done to her were something that he should have apologized for. Why did I do that? I fell out with Mang as well, but he had never been a close friend in contrast to Leyn. Even if she would’ve done something really bad I should’ve at least listened to what she wanted to say and not just left her like that without a word. I just can’t understand the me back then. Quin thought back to various things that happened in his past, trying to find some explanation for his actions. Probably making friends with a bunch of nobles didn’t help but that alone wouldn’t be enough. Hm, no matter how hard I try to avoid thinking about father, I think that he’s also played a great part in it. I’ve always heard how great and superior I am compared to the others because of my element and I can clearly remember when I’ve just entered the Qi Foundation stage, how great it felt to hear him praise me. Over time I started to believe it entirely and looked at the others as inferior. It wasn’t just him though, as I constantly heard from others as well how special I am and I guess it did go to my head. Quin snorted.

Well, probably the Shrieker attack when I was a kid didn’t help me either. It wasn’t about until I started to go out with Aline that the nightmares that ailed me had finally disappeared. Hm, Aline? Maybe I started to act like that partly to show off to her? I do remember that time in the cafeteria and how I wanted to impress her. He could not help but let out a laugh. Impressing somebody by scaring some nobody into giving you your usual table? That’s just pathetic and sad. He sighed frowning. And I did impress her, at least she was smiling. Still, why is it that I feel that there’s something amiss? Like there’s something missing? It’s similar to that night, the first day I returned to school and when I felt like something wasn’t right, but what could this feeling be?

Although no matter how hard he tried, he could not figure it out, but then he noticed something: the egg inside his mind was acting strange once more. It was not trying to take over his body again, nor did Quin feel anything malicious from it, only how it was... Worried, uneasy and... what was the last emotion? Hate. It was not the first time the egg was like this but it was only now that he could feel its emotions so clear. He felt a hate so intense that he could not even have imagined it existed before. It shocked his entire body and he even noticed that his heart skipped a few beats. Damn, what the hell is with it? There were only two reasons he was not completely freaking out: he knew that its hatred was not directed toward him but to something or someone else and because it clearly was not trying to do anything funny. For a moment he even felt compassion, as an emotion of this intensity to exist, something really serious and bad had to have happened. However, then he remembered all of the things it had done to him and his compassion quickly disappeared.

It lasted for quite a while but eventually it died down. Man, I think that’ll be enough thinking for at least week!